Title: Trivial 40: Slash Macbeth
Author: Kel
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: Um... R-ish
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex discuss the Classics
Archive: Knock yourself out.
Notes: Thanks to the Bunnies for helping me pick out the right title. Thanks to the bunnies *again* and corrupting my pristine (and if you believe *that*...) views of Shakespeare.
"If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumb'red here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call...."
"What?"
"Did I get that right?"
"Get *what* right?"
"Puck's speech, Lex! You said you'd help me study!"
"Give me some warning, Clark. Just don't start spouting Shakespeare at me, because otherwise I'm thinking you've lost your mind." *pause* "But yes, it's right. That's just not all of it."
"I know, but I gotta take it a few lines at a time."
"Is that like living your life a quarter mile at a time?"
"Wait... I'm quoting Shakespeare and you're quoting The Fast and the Furious. What's wrong with this picture?"
"One good quote deserves another."
"Can we stick to *my* homework and salivate over fast cars later?"
"Remind me to tell you everything that's *wrong* with those cars later. And yes, of course, back to your homework." *pause* "I never thought I'd be helping my lover with his homework. Writing a master's dissertation, yes. High school homework? Never entered my mind."
"But... but... I'm worth it. Right?"
*kiss* "Of course you are, Clark. I just... find it amusing. Lex Luthor, Shakespeare Tutor. Doesn't have quite the ring as--"
"Lex Luthor, Sex Machine?"
"That's appropriate too. Back to work, farmboy. I want this out of my hair."
"Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"You don't *have* any hair."
*smack* "Figuratively speaking, Clark. I want it out of the way so I can debauch you at my leisure." *pause* "Speaking of debauching..."
"We were speaking of debauching?"
"I was. And, as a possible 'ooh, I'm studying dirty stuff' incentive, did you know that Shakespeare is full of possible... what is it you write? slash? pairings."
"There's... slash in Shakespeare?"
"Chock full of it. Just look at this one; A Midsummer Night's Dream. Lysander and Demetrius. Puck and Oberon. Listen to the way Oberon talks to Puck. Not as an underling but a trusted and beloved lieutenant who he thinks fails him. To put it in terms you can understand... they are *so* doing it."
"B-b-but Oberon's married! To Titania!"
"And your point is?"
"Okay, okay. Geeze."
"Look at Hamlet. He all but swears his love to Horatio, and Horatio swears it in return, right before Hamlet's play in front of the king. '...and I will wear him in my heart of hearts, even as I do thee.' So doing it."
"Oh, man. You know, you're totally ruining Shakespeare for me now. I'm never going to be able to read it again without wondering who's doing who!"
"Romeo is doing it with Mercutio. And if you want to bring incest into it, Juliet is doing it with her cousin Tybalt, because there's no *way* she'd be so distraught over *just* her cousin, if you know what I mean. And then there's the whole Gertrude/Hamlet vibe in Hamlet. Especially the scene in her bedroom after Polonius' murder? Very incestuous. There's also Don Pedro/Claudio *and* Hero/Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing. Beatrice admits it at the first wedding disaster; 'I have this past twelve month been her bedfellow!' So doing it. Then there's Macbeth... and Banquo."
*long silence*
"Lex? You okay?"
"I'm fine, Clark."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
*pages flipping furiously* "Oh. Oh. Macbeth... kills Banquo. Because-"
"Because no matter how much Macbeth loved him, he got in the way of Macbeth's power."
"You're thinking about Cassandra's vision again, aren't you?"
"She did predict my rise to power, Clark. Just like the witches told of Macbeth's."
"But... the difference is... you're not Macbeth. You're Lex Luthor. *My* Lex. And I'm not going to let you get rid of me. You don't get it, Lex... I love you. You love me. And... and... that just doesn't come along every day. We're going to be together. I won't let anything else happen." *lots of hugging* "Your life isn't a Shakespearian tragedy, Lex."
"No... not with you around it's not."
"I know what will make you feel better." *kiss, unzip*
"Clark... God... yes. You... know the right... thing to say. Not... fuck... that you're talking."
The End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: Um... R-ish
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex discuss the Classics
Archive: Knock yourself out.
Notes: Thanks to the Bunnies for helping me pick out the right title. Thanks to the bunnies *again* and corrupting my pristine (and if you believe *that*...) views of Shakespeare.
"If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumb'red here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call...."
"What?"
"Did I get that right?"
"Get *what* right?"
"Puck's speech, Lex! You said you'd help me study!"
"Give me some warning, Clark. Just don't start spouting Shakespeare at me, because otherwise I'm thinking you've lost your mind." *pause* "But yes, it's right. That's just not all of it."
"I know, but I gotta take it a few lines at a time."
"Is that like living your life a quarter mile at a time?"
"Wait... I'm quoting Shakespeare and you're quoting The Fast and the Furious. What's wrong with this picture?"
"One good quote deserves another."
"Can we stick to *my* homework and salivate over fast cars later?"
"Remind me to tell you everything that's *wrong* with those cars later. And yes, of course, back to your homework." *pause* "I never thought I'd be helping my lover with his homework. Writing a master's dissertation, yes. High school homework? Never entered my mind."
"But... but... I'm worth it. Right?"
*kiss* "Of course you are, Clark. I just... find it amusing. Lex Luthor, Shakespeare Tutor. Doesn't have quite the ring as--"
"Lex Luthor, Sex Machine?"
"That's appropriate too. Back to work, farmboy. I want this out of my hair."
"Lex?"
"Hmm?"
"You don't *have* any hair."
*smack* "Figuratively speaking, Clark. I want it out of the way so I can debauch you at my leisure." *pause* "Speaking of debauching..."
"We were speaking of debauching?"
"I was. And, as a possible 'ooh, I'm studying dirty stuff' incentive, did you know that Shakespeare is full of possible... what is it you write? slash? pairings."
"There's... slash in Shakespeare?"
"Chock full of it. Just look at this one; A Midsummer Night's Dream. Lysander and Demetrius. Puck and Oberon. Listen to the way Oberon talks to Puck. Not as an underling but a trusted and beloved lieutenant who he thinks fails him. To put it in terms you can understand... they are *so* doing it."
"B-b-but Oberon's married! To Titania!"
"And your point is?"
"Okay, okay. Geeze."
"Look at Hamlet. He all but swears his love to Horatio, and Horatio swears it in return, right before Hamlet's play in front of the king. '...and I will wear him in my heart of hearts, even as I do thee.' So doing it."
"Oh, man. You know, you're totally ruining Shakespeare for me now. I'm never going to be able to read it again without wondering who's doing who!"
"Romeo is doing it with Mercutio. And if you want to bring incest into it, Juliet is doing it with her cousin Tybalt, because there's no *way* she'd be so distraught over *just* her cousin, if you know what I mean. And then there's the whole Gertrude/Hamlet vibe in Hamlet. Especially the scene in her bedroom after Polonius' murder? Very incestuous. There's also Don Pedro/Claudio *and* Hero/Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing. Beatrice admits it at the first wedding disaster; 'I have this past twelve month been her bedfellow!' So doing it. Then there's Macbeth... and Banquo."
*long silence*
"Lex? You okay?"
"I'm fine, Clark."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
*pages flipping furiously* "Oh. Oh. Macbeth... kills Banquo. Because-"
"Because no matter how much Macbeth loved him, he got in the way of Macbeth's power."
"You're thinking about Cassandra's vision again, aren't you?"
"She did predict my rise to power, Clark. Just like the witches told of Macbeth's."
"But... the difference is... you're not Macbeth. You're Lex Luthor. *My* Lex. And I'm not going to let you get rid of me. You don't get it, Lex... I love you. You love me. And... and... that just doesn't come along every day. We're going to be together. I won't let anything else happen." *lots of hugging* "Your life isn't a Shakespearian tragedy, Lex."
"No... not with you around it's not."
"I know what will make you feel better." *kiss, unzip*
"Clark... God... yes. You... know the right... thing to say. Not... fuck... that you're talking."
The End