Title: Trivial 44: Girls Night Out
Author: Kel
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex have Girls Night Out
Archive: Knock yourself out
Notes: For Henry. Cause he's *not* a dork. And... because he asked.
"Wow... you look gorgeous."
"You don't look too bad yourself either."
"Yeah, but you don't look... clunky."
"Clark, you don't look clunky either. You're just... broader than I am."
"You *look* like a girl, Lex."
"I'll choose to take that as a compliment since that's the intention here."
"You know it is." *pout* "You look like a beautiful woman, I look like a guy in a dress, and even though I think girls are icky I think you're sexy."
"Icky?"
"Icky. Gross. Not to be done sexual things with."
"Ah. Icky."
"Right."
"Girls are not icky, Clark. They're useful in certain circumstances."
"As long as the circumstances don't require my dick getting near a girl again, I'm happy."
"Again?"
"Ever?"
"Again?"
*blush*
"Your dick has been near a girl?"
"When I was eleven. In the barn. Me and Chloe. Um... you show me yours and I'll show you mine."
*sniff* "You never offered to play that game with me. And wait. No. You're a lady tonight, let the gentleman open the door for you. Cross your legs when you get in the limo, and remember to speak softly."
"Yeah, well, by the time I met you, I was definitely old enough to know better."
"But still too young to care?"
"Something like that. Where are we going?"
"A club called Brandywine. It's very quiet, very elegant, and very exclusive."
"And they'll let me in?"
"You're with me, Clark."
"Right. I keep forgetting that you're Lex-God-of-the-Universe-Luthor to the rest of the world. I just get so used to... you know, *Lex.*"
"Again, I must point out that you know *Lex.* The rest of the world knows Mr. Luthor."
"Yeah, I know."
"Now... let's see. What to name you?"
"Name me?"
"No woman is named Clark. In my case, I'm Alexa, though you'll hear Lexi more times than not tonight. Hm..."
"Lexi?"
"Just like that."
"Okay. And I am..."
"Gerri. From Jerome."
"Gerri and Alexa. I kinda like that."
"Clark, meet Gerri, the inner kink monster. Gerri, meet Clark, your new best friend."
"Wow. You weren't kidding when you said spiffy."
"I sincerely doubt the word spiffy ever crossed my lips. And Gerri... please let Darryl open the door for you. It's what he's paid for. And let him help you out of the car."
"It's... hard being a woman."
"Yes, it is, but it's the small behaviors that pull it off believably."
"Good God, Lex. You didn't tell me there was going to be so many people."
"Lexi, please. And you thought it was going to be just the two of us? And remember, soft speaking."
"Right, right. Soft. Like this?"
"Oh... yes. Just... like... that."
"Lexi... that sounded remarkably sleazy."
"And you are sounding like melted honey poured over hot sex. Deal. And Gerri?"
"Yes?"
"I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight."
*shiver* "I don't know which feels better... you or the lace." *pause* "Fuck."
"Problem, darling?"
*another shiver* "Yes. A *hard* problem, if you know what I mean."
"I do. Stand against the wall, there in the corner."
"What--oh, shit!"
"Be quiet unless you want the whole club to know what we're doing."
"And what...are you doing?"
"Tucking."
"T-tucking. Right." *slamming head against wall* "God. If you don't stop..."
"Shut up. Just... don't talk until I have my hands *off* your dick because I have a problem of my own right now and you're *not* helping."
*lick nibble*
"*GERRI.*"
*butterfly kiss.* "Sorry."
"There. Now move. Let me in there, because thanks to you, I've now got a *bigger* problem."
*nuzzle* "Wouldn't want you to ruin the lines of that pretty dress."
"I said shut up."
"You said shut up until your hands were off *my* dick. You didn't say shut up while you were touching yourself."
"Just... shut up."
*raised eyebrow*
*frantic adjustment*
"Thank you."
"I can talk now?"
"As much as you want."
"Then let's dance."
"You're a sadistic bastard, Gerri."
"Maybe... but I learned from the best. Let's go."
*new voice* "Hello, ladies. I'm... Val. Care to dance?"
"No thanks, Gerri and I are... rather exclusive."
"Your loss."
"My gain."
"Why, that's positively possessive of you, Gerri."
"Well... Lexi... I suck at sharing."
"You suck at a lot of things."
"Like you, for starters."
"Flirting with a sledgehammer, aren't you?"
"Just hoping to get lucky."
"If I'd known women's clothes turned you on so much, I'd have done this a long time ago. You're going to have to let Gerri out to play more often."
"Only if Lexi gets to play with her."
"I think we can arrange that."
"Can you arrange it... like now?"
"Now?"
"Yes, now. Gerri is *really* dying to play with Lexi."
"Well... when you put it that way... Darryl is just right outside, and he is very... discreet."
"So what are we waiting for?"
The End
Author: Kel
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Summary: In Which Clark and Lex have Girls Night Out
Archive: Knock yourself out
Notes: For Henry. Cause he's *not* a dork. And... because he asked.
"Wow... you look gorgeous."
"You don't look too bad yourself either."
"Yeah, but you don't look... clunky."
"Clark, you don't look clunky either. You're just... broader than I am."
"You *look* like a girl, Lex."
"I'll choose to take that as a compliment since that's the intention here."
"You know it is." *pout* "You look like a beautiful woman, I look like a guy in a dress, and even though I think girls are icky I think you're sexy."
"Icky?"
"Icky. Gross. Not to be done sexual things with."
"Ah. Icky."
"Right."
"Girls are not icky, Clark. They're useful in certain circumstances."
"As long as the circumstances don't require my dick getting near a girl again, I'm happy."
"Again?"
"Ever?"
"Again?"
*blush*
"Your dick has been near a girl?"
"When I was eleven. In the barn. Me and Chloe. Um... you show me yours and I'll show you mine."
*sniff* "You never offered to play that game with me. And wait. No. You're a lady tonight, let the gentleman open the door for you. Cross your legs when you get in the limo, and remember to speak softly."
"Yeah, well, by the time I met you, I was definitely old enough to know better."
"But still too young to care?"
"Something like that. Where are we going?"
"A club called Brandywine. It's very quiet, very elegant, and very exclusive."
"And they'll let me in?"
"You're with me, Clark."
"Right. I keep forgetting that you're Lex-God-of-the-Universe-Luthor to the rest of the world. I just get so used to... you know, *Lex.*"
"Again, I must point out that you know *Lex.* The rest of the world knows Mr. Luthor."
"Yeah, I know."
"Now... let's see. What to name you?"
"Name me?"
"No woman is named Clark. In my case, I'm Alexa, though you'll hear Lexi more times than not tonight. Hm..."
"Lexi?"
"Just like that."
"Okay. And I am..."
"Gerri. From Jerome."
"Gerri and Alexa. I kinda like that."
"Clark, meet Gerri, the inner kink monster. Gerri, meet Clark, your new best friend."
"Wow. You weren't kidding when you said spiffy."
"I sincerely doubt the word spiffy ever crossed my lips. And Gerri... please let Darryl open the door for you. It's what he's paid for. And let him help you out of the car."
"It's... hard being a woman."
"Yes, it is, but it's the small behaviors that pull it off believably."
"Good God, Lex. You didn't tell me there was going to be so many people."
"Lexi, please. And you thought it was going to be just the two of us? And remember, soft speaking."
"Right, right. Soft. Like this?"
"Oh... yes. Just... like... that."
"Lexi... that sounded remarkably sleazy."
"And you are sounding like melted honey poured over hot sex. Deal. And Gerri?"
"Yes?"
"I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight."
*shiver* "I don't know which feels better... you or the lace." *pause* "Fuck."
"Problem, darling?"
*another shiver* "Yes. A *hard* problem, if you know what I mean."
"I do. Stand against the wall, there in the corner."
"What--oh, shit!"
"Be quiet unless you want the whole club to know what we're doing."
"And what...are you doing?"
"Tucking."
"T-tucking. Right." *slamming head against wall* "God. If you don't stop..."
"Shut up. Just... don't talk until I have my hands *off* your dick because I have a problem of my own right now and you're *not* helping."
*lick nibble*
"*GERRI.*"
*butterfly kiss.* "Sorry."
"There. Now move. Let me in there, because thanks to you, I've now got a *bigger* problem."
*nuzzle* "Wouldn't want you to ruin the lines of that pretty dress."
"I said shut up."
"You said shut up until your hands were off *my* dick. You didn't say shut up while you were touching yourself."
"Just... shut up."
*raised eyebrow*
*frantic adjustment*
"Thank you."
"I can talk now?"
"As much as you want."
"Then let's dance."
"You're a sadistic bastard, Gerri."
"Maybe... but I learned from the best. Let's go."
*new voice* "Hello, ladies. I'm... Val. Care to dance?"
"No thanks, Gerri and I are... rather exclusive."
"Your loss."
"My gain."
"Why, that's positively possessive of you, Gerri."
"Well... Lexi... I suck at sharing."
"You suck at a lot of things."
"Like you, for starters."
"Flirting with a sledgehammer, aren't you?"
"Just hoping to get lucky."
"If I'd known women's clothes turned you on so much, I'd have done this a long time ago. You're going to have to let Gerri out to play more often."
"Only if Lexi gets to play with her."
"I think we can arrange that."
"Can you arrange it... like now?"
"Now?"
"Yes, now. Gerri is *really* dying to play with Lexi."
"Well... when you put it that way... Darryl is just right outside, and he is very... discreet."
"So what are we waiting for?"
The End