A/N: I will tell you now that I have more chapters ready to go, as soon as
I type them. I write out page after page of my big handwriting just to
never have time to type them out! So I'll get the next chapter out to you
as soon as I can.
I would like to THANK:
Kay
Bubby
Canary
Rowen Mafair
Jenia Simmons *Kelsey
Cassie
Crashdown2005
MoonlitPhoenix
Angela
Sec Rickman
Prophetess of hearts
WittchWay
Lady FoxFire
Thank you so much for your reviews they do mean a lot to me.
And To Lady FoxFire: Dudley was originonaly in one part but it was a really dumb and really pointless part so I took it out. And Mrs. Dursley was not in it because she doesn't care what her husband does to Harry as long as he is nice to her and Dudley which he is.
And to Canary: THANK YOU SO MUCH IT REALLY HELPED!
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Upon waking up in bright white light with everything around him white, in a comfortable bed he thought he must had kicked the can finally, but he couldn't understand why everything was white. Wasn't Hell supposed to be red? His vision cleared a little and he realized that he was in the Hogwart's hospital wing. He reached out to the table next to him, finding his glasses on his face.
"Oh good, your awake you had me quite worried." Madame Pomfrey said as she made her way over with some type of soup in her hands.
"Why?" Harry asked drawlingly
"Why what?" a confused nurse asked.
"Why were you worried about me?"
"Because I thought that you might of died." Truly thinking that he didn't know, well he knew, he just didn't understand why.
"What's so wrong with that?" Harry spoke so monotone, so defeated, so serous that Madam Pomfrey dropped the sip she was carrying. Picking it up, saying, "Don't kid such a subject, I'll be back in a min," rushing away to tell the headmaster that Harry was awake. As she went to the door she thought that she heard a quite voice say, "I wasn't kidding."
"Hello Harry. How are you feeling today?" Harry didn't even respond to him not even acknowledging anyone was in the same room as him. A blank look of guilt laid fast to his face. "Not talkative today, eh? Probably hurts too much to talk? I'll have Professor Snape bring up some painkiller potion."
"No." Definite and clear.
"No? Why not? Don't you hurt?" No response. Harry had gone back into his trance like state. "I'll comeback tomorrow, then we will have a talk okay?" With that the headmaster left.
Later Snape came in carrying a goblet full of some most likely foul tasting liquid.
"Drink this!" He tried to hand it to him. Harry laid there with out moving. "What's wrong to scared to move?" he sneered, "or are you too proud to take anything from me, too proud just like your father."
"SHUT UP. My father was not proud." Snape smirked, too easy to get him to talk, even when no one else could.
"Yes he is and you're just like him."
"No he wasn't. I'm not just like him – he deserves happiness, I just deserve paint and suffering, like all of the pain and suffering I've caused."
"Fine be that way. If you want it, the goblet is right here." Setting it on the table. Getting up and leaving Harry watched him go, wondering why he said so much – he doesn't want people to be watching over him because they were forced to. He could already see them each taking a sift, complaining on end about him.
Soon night fell. Madam Promfrey was asleep with in her office and Harry was quite alone, wide awake. Slowly, quietly he got out of bed even when all of he's muscles screamed at him to stay put. After a day of thinking he realized he'd receive no more of what he deserves while he was here, so he crept down to the entering hall not sure where he was going. He slipped out of the castle unnoticed; slowly descending down to the forest where he knew he could hide until he decides where to go from there. The cold air was around him cutting into his raw and broken skin, walking deeper and deeper in to the forest. After a couple of hours he was too tired to continue on, he cursed himself for being so weak and stopping to ease his suffering, even a little bit. Looking around he found a fallen branch that had pine needles on it still. Crawling under it for a bit of warmth he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Sunrise was beautiful, coming through the trees with bright yellow piercing the gray sky. Mist reflecting the specks of light perfectly. Harry woke and evaluated where he was, remembering what happened he slowly got up and started walking on the path he was before. He wasn't sure where it lead to but he didn't care. Walking all alone, hearing his stomach complain loudly every so often. Finally sick of the noise, he picked up some berries hoping they'd be poisonous. They got his tummy to be quite but they didn't harm him in the least. Walking most of the day every so often stopping to rest realizing, even though his fractures and breaks had been fixed, they were still very soar and weak. Around what he figured was five o' clock by the sound of his stomach, Hedwig appeared and landed on his shoulder, in her claws a note. As soon as he touched the note he felt the usual feeling of the hook right behind his belly button being jerked. As soon as he was transported to Dumbledore's office, he did the first thing he could think of, he screamed as if he would die if he did not stop screaming. Louder and louder and then he stopped, looked up, and saw two men just staring at him scared and bewildered. Before the shock left them Harry ran for it. Up, Up he went up to the astronomy tower with a bit of hesitation, till he saw he saw Snape about to reach him, he jumped. Falling down and down smiling knowing at last this will all be over, all is done. No more worries, no more anything. With thirty feet left he felt himself slowing down and by the time he got to the ground he safely touched down, Now raging mad with self loathing and hate, he ran into the castle and ran again not knowing where he was going, till he say a picture with a bowl of fruit on it. Tickling the pear and dashing in he looked around all of the house elfs running around busily. Harry felt the heavy clinging house elf fasten it self around his waist. Knowing to speak carefully, "Hello Dobby." He said.
"Hello mister Harry Potter sir."
You know what; I would really like a steak. Do you have any around here?"
"Steak sir, Dobby gets you a steak," Dobby ran to make a steak for Harry. Bringing back a mouth watering steak.
"Yum smells great Dobby. I'm going to go eat it in the common room; do you have a knife I can use to cut this up with?"
"Oh yes, Harry Potter sir, I have the best knife for that, sharp and perfect for steak, Dobby get it for you sir." Bringing him the knife and missing the glint in Harry's eyes. They said good bye and Harry ran for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, thinking that she would know a lot about this stuff, to make it as painful as possible.
"Myrtle I need your help."
"You need my help? What trying to kill yourself?"
"Yes in fact," watching her closely for her reaction.
"Really? Why?" She took great interest in this.
"Because….Err….Um……" He wasn't sure how to explain it. "Because here I cannot have the suffering I deserve." 'What a stupid thing to say, I must sound like a real prat now,' he thought.
"Then leave here."
"I tried, they port keyed me back. Look not to rush you on your high point for this century or anything but I'd kind of like to get this over with."
"Why are you going to share my toilet with me?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"A good one." Obviously Myrtle liked knowing things others didn't.
"How so?"
"Well you'll most likely become a ghost, like me."
"What – Why – Can ghost feel pain?"
"Well I could tell you….."
"What do you want?"
"For you to live."
"What?! Why? You of all people I would have thought would help me!"
"People, pea…pea…, People!" A big wet tear spilled out of her eye followed by another. "I use to be considered a person but not anymore. Without …." Wail "…body I'm not a person." 'Oh bother' Harry thought.
"Well look I'm sorry. But why must you ask me such an insane thing?"
"Insane! You're my only friend and what if you kill yourself and your not a ghost, huh"
"Well, like you said before – I will be!"
She didn't hear him over her wailing. "Screw this" Harry muttered. He took out the knife throwing the steak into the trash. Staring at the knife, cold stainless steel, long and sharp. He slowly stabbed it into his left wrist watching with satisfaction the blood seep out and letting it drop on to the floor. Myrtle took one look and screamed and cried even louder. Harry didn't care; he had a faint smile playing onto his lips. As he slowly moved the upwards splitting his vain open, more blood, and more blood gushed out of his pale cold skin. Taking the blood he wrote on the wall the date and his name as a farewell to the world. Little by little a black soothing darkness took over his world. Dropping the knife to the ground unable to pick it up to cut his other arm. Grinning madly he sat down so that he wouldn't fall and knock himself out while he died. He needed this pain, he needed it, to make up for his parent's, for Cedric, and for everyone else he has hurt. He couldn't feel his hand and his legs were going next, the darkness was taking over. He fought to be able to watch himself in the mirror, to watch himself die. But by doing so he was dieing faster. How much blood had left him now? He did not know. He couldn't hear Myrtle anymore. At last he felt the cold over take the rest of his body, claiming it for it's self.
A/N: Plz. Review. THANK YOU EVER SOOOO MUCH! Oh and Flames are okay too.
I would like to THANK:
Kay
Bubby
Canary
Rowen Mafair
Jenia Simmons *Kelsey
Cassie
Crashdown2005
MoonlitPhoenix
Angela
Sec Rickman
Prophetess of hearts
WittchWay
Lady FoxFire
Thank you so much for your reviews they do mean a lot to me.
And To Lady FoxFire: Dudley was originonaly in one part but it was a really dumb and really pointless part so I took it out. And Mrs. Dursley was not in it because she doesn't care what her husband does to Harry as long as he is nice to her and Dudley which he is.
And to Canary: THANK YOU SO MUCH IT REALLY HELPED!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon waking up in bright white light with everything around him white, in a comfortable bed he thought he must had kicked the can finally, but he couldn't understand why everything was white. Wasn't Hell supposed to be red? His vision cleared a little and he realized that he was in the Hogwart's hospital wing. He reached out to the table next to him, finding his glasses on his face.
"Oh good, your awake you had me quite worried." Madame Pomfrey said as she made her way over with some type of soup in her hands.
"Why?" Harry asked drawlingly
"Why what?" a confused nurse asked.
"Why were you worried about me?"
"Because I thought that you might of died." Truly thinking that he didn't know, well he knew, he just didn't understand why.
"What's so wrong with that?" Harry spoke so monotone, so defeated, so serous that Madam Pomfrey dropped the sip she was carrying. Picking it up, saying, "Don't kid such a subject, I'll be back in a min," rushing away to tell the headmaster that Harry was awake. As she went to the door she thought that she heard a quite voice say, "I wasn't kidding."
"Hello Harry. How are you feeling today?" Harry didn't even respond to him not even acknowledging anyone was in the same room as him. A blank look of guilt laid fast to his face. "Not talkative today, eh? Probably hurts too much to talk? I'll have Professor Snape bring up some painkiller potion."
"No." Definite and clear.
"No? Why not? Don't you hurt?" No response. Harry had gone back into his trance like state. "I'll comeback tomorrow, then we will have a talk okay?" With that the headmaster left.
Later Snape came in carrying a goblet full of some most likely foul tasting liquid.
"Drink this!" He tried to hand it to him. Harry laid there with out moving. "What's wrong to scared to move?" he sneered, "or are you too proud to take anything from me, too proud just like your father."
"SHUT UP. My father was not proud." Snape smirked, too easy to get him to talk, even when no one else could.
"Yes he is and you're just like him."
"No he wasn't. I'm not just like him – he deserves happiness, I just deserve paint and suffering, like all of the pain and suffering I've caused."
"Fine be that way. If you want it, the goblet is right here." Setting it on the table. Getting up and leaving Harry watched him go, wondering why he said so much – he doesn't want people to be watching over him because they were forced to. He could already see them each taking a sift, complaining on end about him.
Soon night fell. Madam Promfrey was asleep with in her office and Harry was quite alone, wide awake. Slowly, quietly he got out of bed even when all of he's muscles screamed at him to stay put. After a day of thinking he realized he'd receive no more of what he deserves while he was here, so he crept down to the entering hall not sure where he was going. He slipped out of the castle unnoticed; slowly descending down to the forest where he knew he could hide until he decides where to go from there. The cold air was around him cutting into his raw and broken skin, walking deeper and deeper in to the forest. After a couple of hours he was too tired to continue on, he cursed himself for being so weak and stopping to ease his suffering, even a little bit. Looking around he found a fallen branch that had pine needles on it still. Crawling under it for a bit of warmth he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Sunrise was beautiful, coming through the trees with bright yellow piercing the gray sky. Mist reflecting the specks of light perfectly. Harry woke and evaluated where he was, remembering what happened he slowly got up and started walking on the path he was before. He wasn't sure where it lead to but he didn't care. Walking all alone, hearing his stomach complain loudly every so often. Finally sick of the noise, he picked up some berries hoping they'd be poisonous. They got his tummy to be quite but they didn't harm him in the least. Walking most of the day every so often stopping to rest realizing, even though his fractures and breaks had been fixed, they were still very soar and weak. Around what he figured was five o' clock by the sound of his stomach, Hedwig appeared and landed on his shoulder, in her claws a note. As soon as he touched the note he felt the usual feeling of the hook right behind his belly button being jerked. As soon as he was transported to Dumbledore's office, he did the first thing he could think of, he screamed as if he would die if he did not stop screaming. Louder and louder and then he stopped, looked up, and saw two men just staring at him scared and bewildered. Before the shock left them Harry ran for it. Up, Up he went up to the astronomy tower with a bit of hesitation, till he saw he saw Snape about to reach him, he jumped. Falling down and down smiling knowing at last this will all be over, all is done. No more worries, no more anything. With thirty feet left he felt himself slowing down and by the time he got to the ground he safely touched down, Now raging mad with self loathing and hate, he ran into the castle and ran again not knowing where he was going, till he say a picture with a bowl of fruit on it. Tickling the pear and dashing in he looked around all of the house elfs running around busily. Harry felt the heavy clinging house elf fasten it self around his waist. Knowing to speak carefully, "Hello Dobby." He said.
"Hello mister Harry Potter sir."
You know what; I would really like a steak. Do you have any around here?"
"Steak sir, Dobby gets you a steak," Dobby ran to make a steak for Harry. Bringing back a mouth watering steak.
"Yum smells great Dobby. I'm going to go eat it in the common room; do you have a knife I can use to cut this up with?"
"Oh yes, Harry Potter sir, I have the best knife for that, sharp and perfect for steak, Dobby get it for you sir." Bringing him the knife and missing the glint in Harry's eyes. They said good bye and Harry ran for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, thinking that she would know a lot about this stuff, to make it as painful as possible.
"Myrtle I need your help."
"You need my help? What trying to kill yourself?"
"Yes in fact," watching her closely for her reaction.
"Really? Why?" She took great interest in this.
"Because….Err….Um……" He wasn't sure how to explain it. "Because here I cannot have the suffering I deserve." 'What a stupid thing to say, I must sound like a real prat now,' he thought.
"Then leave here."
"I tried, they port keyed me back. Look not to rush you on your high point for this century or anything but I'd kind of like to get this over with."
"Why are you going to share my toilet with me?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"A good one." Obviously Myrtle liked knowing things others didn't.
"How so?"
"Well you'll most likely become a ghost, like me."
"What – Why – Can ghost feel pain?"
"Well I could tell you….."
"What do you want?"
"For you to live."
"What?! Why? You of all people I would have thought would help me!"
"People, pea…pea…, People!" A big wet tear spilled out of her eye followed by another. "I use to be considered a person but not anymore. Without …." Wail "…body I'm not a person." 'Oh bother' Harry thought.
"Well look I'm sorry. But why must you ask me such an insane thing?"
"Insane! You're my only friend and what if you kill yourself and your not a ghost, huh"
"Well, like you said before – I will be!"
She didn't hear him over her wailing. "Screw this" Harry muttered. He took out the knife throwing the steak into the trash. Staring at the knife, cold stainless steel, long and sharp. He slowly stabbed it into his left wrist watching with satisfaction the blood seep out and letting it drop on to the floor. Myrtle took one look and screamed and cried even louder. Harry didn't care; he had a faint smile playing onto his lips. As he slowly moved the upwards splitting his vain open, more blood, and more blood gushed out of his pale cold skin. Taking the blood he wrote on the wall the date and his name as a farewell to the world. Little by little a black soothing darkness took over his world. Dropping the knife to the ground unable to pick it up to cut his other arm. Grinning madly he sat down so that he wouldn't fall and knock himself out while he died. He needed this pain, he needed it, to make up for his parent's, for Cedric, and for everyone else he has hurt. He couldn't feel his hand and his legs were going next, the darkness was taking over. He fought to be able to watch himself in the mirror, to watch himself die. But by doing so he was dieing faster. How much blood had left him now? He did not know. He couldn't hear Myrtle anymore. At last he felt the cold over take the rest of his body, claiming it for it's self.
A/N: Plz. Review. THANK YOU EVER SOOOO MUCH! Oh and Flames are okay too.