Title: Trivial 53: Reactionary
Author: Kel
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: R-ish
Summary: Reactions to the announcement
Archive: Knock yourself out
Notes: For Amy. And Ghini. Cause I'm really *not* evil, I'm just drawn that way.
"Clark? This is a joke, right?"
"Lex, you can't be serious."
"Sweetie, what is going on?"
"Clark, man, what the fuck!"
"Lex?"
"Clark, I can't believe you lied to me!"
"How could you lie to me, son?"
"Ripley, help."
"Come here, Clark." *hug* "Everyone... please. Shut up for a minute. One at a time."
*whisper* "Thank you."
*quick kiss.* "You're welcome." *cuddle* "You can all say your piece but one at a time, and for once, I won't stand for rudeness in my home." *whisper* "And I'm still going to spank you for calling me Ripley."
*whisper* "Promise?"
*whisper* "Oh, yeah." *clears throat* "All right. If anyone thinks they can't be civil, please... leave now. You're here because you're important to Clark and myself, but if you can't be supportive of us and our happiness... then please leave."
*mortified* "Jonathan Kent, sit down right now!"
"I'm not going to stand here and listen to this... Luthor one second longer! I don't know what he's done to my son but I'm not going to stand for it!"
"He hasn't done anything, Dad! Nothing but love me!" *deep breath* "That's all Lex has ever wanted to do!"
"Lex, I'm ashamed of you. I thought I taught you better than this."
"Luthor, are you trying to say that my son isn't good enough for yours? I'd say it's the other way around."
"Of course you would. You wouldn't know any better."
"Dad, don't!"
"Clark, you stay out of this. You're just a boy, and this is between us adults."
"I'm not going to stay out of this, this involves me too! I love Lex."
"I told you, Clark, those Luthors are bad news."
"Shut up, Pete."
"Who made you the boss, Chlo?"
"I did. Now shut up."
"Very good, Ms. Sullivan."
"Buzz off, I didn't do it for you, I did it for Clark and Lex."
"Chloe!"
"Jonathan, be quiet and calm down."
"No, no, this is the first smart decision that Jonathan has made in quite some time."
"Excuse me, Mr. Luthor? I hate to interrupt, but the mousse is ready to be served."
"Ah, thank you, Enrique. Your timing, as always, is excellent."
*Teenage Glare of Death(tm) to everyone* "All right, this is enough. C'mon, guys! You're my family! You're my friends! You mean a lot to me, and all you're doing is... well, being jerks! You're going to stop yelling at me and Lex, and you can ask us *one* question, *one* at a time, okay?"
*sulky nods*
"Okay. So, okay. Dad, you first. Then mom, and we'll just work around the table."
"Clark, what the hell do you think you're doing with this... this... Luthor?"
"His name is Lex. And... we're dating. Going out. You know, the whole building a relationship thing. He loves me and I love him. And that's what we're doing." *sigh* "Okay. Mom?"
"Sweetie, there's just so much--are you sure this is the right thing?"
"Yeah, Mom. We're sure."
"Mrs. Kent, tonight was my idea. I'm not ashamed of Clark; I know how much it means to him not to have to lie to the people he loves--about anything." *meaningful pause* "And this is my way of giving him that."
*shocked nod*
"Thanks, Mom. Okay, Pete?"
"Clark, man! How could you hook up with this... this... *guy* after everything he's *done!*"
"What has he done, Pete? Ever since he came here he's been trying to fit in and do good things to help--"
*impatient throat-clearing*
"--the people here in Smallville. Even the school--"
*thrum of fingers tapping on the tabletop*
"*DAD!*" *Luthor Glare* "Will you *stop* that? We're getting to you."
"I should--"
*Teenage Glare of Death(tm)*
"Fine."
"Thank you. Clark, I'm sorry. Please. Continue."
"Thanks. Like I was saying, he even helped the school after Coach Walt burned the Torch and then when we needed a new computer lab. I know you don't like him but you never gave him a chance!"
"He's a Luthor!"
*Teenage Glare of Death(tm)* "And you're a Ross! And I'm a Kent! And Lana's a Lang, and Chloe's a Sullivan and Whitney's a Fordman! Who cares? Next!"
"Hey, I was in on the whole thing. I'm passing my question over to the PoD there before he busts something."
*snickers from Clark and Lex*
"Okay, Dad. Chloe's being nice and letting you have her question, so make it good."
"What do you think you are doing with this little know-nothing farm hand?"
*angrily* "I know *exactly* what I'm doing, Dad. I'm learning how to love and *be* loved, which is something that you could never teach me. I'm learning what it's like to have a family and a friend and someone who actually *wants* to be in my life. And you can just... deal with it. Next."
*stunned silence*
"Okay, Whitney?"
*shrugs* "Whatever, man. You guys... you know, it's not my thing, but whatever gets you two off."
"Lana?"
"Clark, I... wow. I thought..."
"Yeah, I know. But... no."
*nods*
"Okay. Um... Mr. Luthor? It's your turn, and if you be nice, then you can say something else, since Chloe let you have her turn too." *Teenage Glare of Death(tm)*
"You're dictating--"
"Yes... Dad... he is."
"Fine. Lex... I do not approve of this. At all. This is... preposterous. You are a grown man and this boy is exactly that--a *boy.*"
"Objection noted. And your question would be what, exactly?"
"What do you think you're doing?"
"You already asked me that, Dad. You want to waste your question, I'll give you the same answer I did before. Loving him."
*hug to Lex and sticking tongue out to Lionel*
"Pathetic, Lex."
"Only to you, Dad. Only to you." *heaving sigh* "As much fun as this has been... I think it's time for everyone to just... go. This didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped."
*very public hug* "It's okay, Lex. It's not your fault."
"I know, Clark. But I'm sorry. I wanted it to be better for you." *sigh* "Everyone... go home. And think. Please. We'll... be in touch."
"We'll?"
"Yes, Dad. We'll."
"Clark?"
"No, Dad. I'm staying with Lex tonight. He needs me."
"Clark--"
"Let it be, Jonathan. Don't you think you've caused enough trouble for one night?"
"Fine. I expect to see you home first thing in the morning, Clark. You've still got chores to do and responsibilities to take care of."
"I know, Dad. I won't let you down."
"You already have, son."
"Jonathan Kent, you are sleeping on the sofa tonight."
*soft chuckle* "Mr. Kent... always a pleasure."
"Pete--"
"Don't even talk to me, man."
"Fuck you too then, Pete. I thought you were my friend."
"Clark... c'mon. Don't sweat it. He'll get used to the idea."
*hug* "Thanks, Chloe. You've been the only one cool with this."
"Hey, what are ex-girlfriends for. Seriously, Clark. You're happy, I'm happy for you. Don't worry, I'll work on bringing him around."
"Chloe?"
"Yeah?"
"I've discovered blowjobs can be *very* persuasive."
"You're bad, Clark. That's just... ick. And whoops, there goes my ride."
"You rode with Whitney and Lana?"
"And Pete, yeah. They're waiting for me. See you later, guys." *kiss on each cheek*
"Dad... Going back to Metropolis, I hope?"
"Of course. But I'll be back first thing in the morning."
"Wonderful. I'm thrilled. Goodbye."
*slam*
"Christ. I'm sorry--"
*frantic kiss*
"Clark--what?"
"I have been *dying* to do that all night. Come on."
"Where are--oh. Okay."
"Grab that mousse while you're at it."
"Clark..."
"Yeah, Lex?"
"I still owe you a spanking."
"Happy anniversary, Lex."
The End
Author: Kel
Pairing: Lex/Clark
Rating: R-ish
Summary: Reactions to the announcement
Archive: Knock yourself out
Notes: For Amy. And Ghini. Cause I'm really *not* evil, I'm just drawn that way.
"Clark? This is a joke, right?"
"Lex, you can't be serious."
"Sweetie, what is going on?"
"Clark, man, what the fuck!"
"Lex?"
"Clark, I can't believe you lied to me!"
"How could you lie to me, son?"
"Ripley, help."
"Come here, Clark." *hug* "Everyone... please. Shut up for a minute. One at a time."
*whisper* "Thank you."
*quick kiss.* "You're welcome." *cuddle* "You can all say your piece but one at a time, and for once, I won't stand for rudeness in my home." *whisper* "And I'm still going to spank you for calling me Ripley."
*whisper* "Promise?"
*whisper* "Oh, yeah." *clears throat* "All right. If anyone thinks they can't be civil, please... leave now. You're here because you're important to Clark and myself, but if you can't be supportive of us and our happiness... then please leave."
*mortified* "Jonathan Kent, sit down right now!"
"I'm not going to stand here and listen to this... Luthor one second longer! I don't know what he's done to my son but I'm not going to stand for it!"
"He hasn't done anything, Dad! Nothing but love me!" *deep breath* "That's all Lex has ever wanted to do!"
"Lex, I'm ashamed of you. I thought I taught you better than this."
"Luthor, are you trying to say that my son isn't good enough for yours? I'd say it's the other way around."
"Of course you would. You wouldn't know any better."
"Dad, don't!"
"Clark, you stay out of this. You're just a boy, and this is between us adults."
"I'm not going to stay out of this, this involves me too! I love Lex."
"I told you, Clark, those Luthors are bad news."
"Shut up, Pete."
"Who made you the boss, Chlo?"
"I did. Now shut up."
"Very good, Ms. Sullivan."
"Buzz off, I didn't do it for you, I did it for Clark and Lex."
"Chloe!"
"Jonathan, be quiet and calm down."
"No, no, this is the first smart decision that Jonathan has made in quite some time."
"Excuse me, Mr. Luthor? I hate to interrupt, but the mousse is ready to be served."
"Ah, thank you, Enrique. Your timing, as always, is excellent."
*Teenage Glare of Death(tm) to everyone* "All right, this is enough. C'mon, guys! You're my family! You're my friends! You mean a lot to me, and all you're doing is... well, being jerks! You're going to stop yelling at me and Lex, and you can ask us *one* question, *one* at a time, okay?"
*sulky nods*
"Okay. So, okay. Dad, you first. Then mom, and we'll just work around the table."
"Clark, what the hell do you think you're doing with this... this... Luthor?"
"His name is Lex. And... we're dating. Going out. You know, the whole building a relationship thing. He loves me and I love him. And that's what we're doing." *sigh* "Okay. Mom?"
"Sweetie, there's just so much--are you sure this is the right thing?"
"Yeah, Mom. We're sure."
"Mrs. Kent, tonight was my idea. I'm not ashamed of Clark; I know how much it means to him not to have to lie to the people he loves--about anything." *meaningful pause* "And this is my way of giving him that."
*shocked nod*
"Thanks, Mom. Okay, Pete?"
"Clark, man! How could you hook up with this... this... *guy* after everything he's *done!*"
"What has he done, Pete? Ever since he came here he's been trying to fit in and do good things to help--"
*impatient throat-clearing*
"--the people here in Smallville. Even the school--"
*thrum of fingers tapping on the tabletop*
"*DAD!*" *Luthor Glare* "Will you *stop* that? We're getting to you."
"I should--"
*Teenage Glare of Death(tm)*
"Fine."
"Thank you. Clark, I'm sorry. Please. Continue."
"Thanks. Like I was saying, he even helped the school after Coach Walt burned the Torch and then when we needed a new computer lab. I know you don't like him but you never gave him a chance!"
"He's a Luthor!"
*Teenage Glare of Death(tm)* "And you're a Ross! And I'm a Kent! And Lana's a Lang, and Chloe's a Sullivan and Whitney's a Fordman! Who cares? Next!"
"Hey, I was in on the whole thing. I'm passing my question over to the PoD there before he busts something."
*snickers from Clark and Lex*
"Okay, Dad. Chloe's being nice and letting you have her question, so make it good."
"What do you think you are doing with this little know-nothing farm hand?"
*angrily* "I know *exactly* what I'm doing, Dad. I'm learning how to love and *be* loved, which is something that you could never teach me. I'm learning what it's like to have a family and a friend and someone who actually *wants* to be in my life. And you can just... deal with it. Next."
*stunned silence*
"Okay, Whitney?"
*shrugs* "Whatever, man. You guys... you know, it's not my thing, but whatever gets you two off."
"Lana?"
"Clark, I... wow. I thought..."
"Yeah, I know. But... no."
*nods*
"Okay. Um... Mr. Luthor? It's your turn, and if you be nice, then you can say something else, since Chloe let you have her turn too." *Teenage Glare of Death(tm)*
"You're dictating--"
"Yes... Dad... he is."
"Fine. Lex... I do not approve of this. At all. This is... preposterous. You are a grown man and this boy is exactly that--a *boy.*"
"Objection noted. And your question would be what, exactly?"
"What do you think you're doing?"
"You already asked me that, Dad. You want to waste your question, I'll give you the same answer I did before. Loving him."
*hug to Lex and sticking tongue out to Lionel*
"Pathetic, Lex."
"Only to you, Dad. Only to you." *heaving sigh* "As much fun as this has been... I think it's time for everyone to just... go. This didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped."
*very public hug* "It's okay, Lex. It's not your fault."
"I know, Clark. But I'm sorry. I wanted it to be better for you." *sigh* "Everyone... go home. And think. Please. We'll... be in touch."
"We'll?"
"Yes, Dad. We'll."
"Clark?"
"No, Dad. I'm staying with Lex tonight. He needs me."
"Clark--"
"Let it be, Jonathan. Don't you think you've caused enough trouble for one night?"
"Fine. I expect to see you home first thing in the morning, Clark. You've still got chores to do and responsibilities to take care of."
"I know, Dad. I won't let you down."
"You already have, son."
"Jonathan Kent, you are sleeping on the sofa tonight."
*soft chuckle* "Mr. Kent... always a pleasure."
"Pete--"
"Don't even talk to me, man."
"Fuck you too then, Pete. I thought you were my friend."
"Clark... c'mon. Don't sweat it. He'll get used to the idea."
*hug* "Thanks, Chloe. You've been the only one cool with this."
"Hey, what are ex-girlfriends for. Seriously, Clark. You're happy, I'm happy for you. Don't worry, I'll work on bringing him around."
"Chloe?"
"Yeah?"
"I've discovered blowjobs can be *very* persuasive."
"You're bad, Clark. That's just... ick. And whoops, there goes my ride."
"You rode with Whitney and Lana?"
"And Pete, yeah. They're waiting for me. See you later, guys." *kiss on each cheek*
"Dad... Going back to Metropolis, I hope?"
"Of course. But I'll be back first thing in the morning."
"Wonderful. I'm thrilled. Goodbye."
*slam*
"Christ. I'm sorry--"
*frantic kiss*
"Clark--what?"
"I have been *dying* to do that all night. Come on."
"Where are--oh. Okay."
"Grab that mousse while you're at it."
"Clark..."
"Yeah, Lex?"
"I still owe you a spanking."
"Happy anniversary, Lex."
The End