::aaaahhhhh!!!:: I'm so terribly sorry for updating so freakin' late!!! I
had projects all week!!!
I just love my second period prep (preparatory period). On Thursdays, I
don't have to get to school until 10:30!!
::hehe:: It's 8:40 right now, so I'll see how much I am able to finish.
My sincere thanks to: dancegoddess, Pyro'sgirl, DEE, R.T.A Wings, LOVE WITCH, Genkai Lady, Kartos, Crystal-moon, Ruby, and FayeValentine00!!!!
Kartos: okay, umm. yeah Van learns to control his anger in the TV series and movies because Hitomi was there to help him. Now she's been gone for a couple years and something ~mysterious~ is um. helping Van's anger and loneliness along. ::hehe:: (
Disclaimer: As much as I long or wish, Escaflowne belongs not to me, but another.
A Silent Moment:: Chapter 6
What is fear? Why am I afraid? Do I fear death? Or do I fear the process of dying?
What is my purpose?
Death is merely the ceasing of function of a living organism.
Really? Is that all it is?
Then. why? Why am I afraid?
It is a natural instinct to fear death and destruction. All living things struggle to live. You are no different.
I struggle for life, even if I have no purpose?
Yes.
But I do have a purpose.
What is your purpose then, young human?
To survive. and to find Van.
Why do you seek this Van?
Because I worry about him.
He does not care. He does not worry for you. He does not want you here.
You lie! Van does care for me! He said so himself!
And yet, he has ignored you for the past few years. If he really cared for you like you say, why did he cease to acknowledge you?
Van. he. has his reasons.
Then. why is he trying to destroy you? Right this very moment?
Na. nani???!!!
A wild, unrestrained laughter echoed throughout Hitomi's mind, bouncing off the firm walls of her determination. She shivered as the malice and the amusement hit her skin like a cold evening wind.
You humans are incredibly stupid, but you provide entertainment. I shall leave you now to battle for your life. If you survive, I will pay a visit to you again.
The sudden cold that had engulfed her, dissipated, leaving behind a wide gulf of doubt.
Hitomi snapped back, which was lucky for her, as the situation was about to become much more life threatening.
"Teki wo korosu." [I will kill all my enemies.]
I am not afraid. I am not afraid. it's Van after all. he wouldn't hurt me!
Hitomi cautiously lowered her swords, letting the tips of the blades rest softly upon the dirt of the forest floor. If what the weird voice had said was true, then this was Van, but he obviously was not himself.
"Van..! It's me, Hitomi!"
Van, oblivious to her voice, continued staring at her. Hitomi shivered, not from the chill of evening, but from the lust, the thirst for blood, which raged behind his eyes. The amber eyes she had so often seen, soft as honey.
She loved his eyes; the warmth she had bathed in, the depth of those gold- flecked windows that allowed her and no one else, to peek into his soul. But now, they were no longer the gold eyes of her Van, but the blood-red eyes of a beast.
Man possesses a soul and a conscience; these are the discrepancies that separate beast and human. However, man is beast deep down. He carries the instincts from the past when he was nothing more than a common creature, scrambling for survival in the harsh world. Today, society and rules have boxed in and suppressed man's natural urges and replaced them with restraints and the artificial such as education and mannerisms. However, callings from deep within, the wild side, cannot be chained for long. Someday it will break free.
Van grinned his unearthly grin; the smile of a killer. The enemy was weak for she had willingly lowered her defenses. Well if she was going to present him with such an advantage, he had no choice but to take it.
Moving swiftly, he closed in on Hitomi who was standing there with her blades down, completely unaware of his attack.
Her catlike reflexes, the ones she had gained from years on track, saved her life. Seeing a blur come rushing at her, Hitomi had quickly stepped aside just as Van thrust his sword into where her chest would have been. But she had been too slow, his sword had managed to tear the skin, muscle, and hit a vein in her right shoulder.
Hitomi bit her lip to keep the scream from erupting. She had no time and no way to staunch her hemorrhaging shoulder. The blood ran in thick red rivers, swiveling in delightful patterns, traveling down all the way to her hand to drip onto the ground.
Blood. what an enchanting color. He just had to see more of it!
Bring her swords into play, Hitomi barely managed to fend off Van's vicious blow. He was like a hurricane! He just kept coming, attacking, stabbing, thrusting, searching for her weak spot.
In the midst of it all, the blood kept drawing. It seemed to find amusement in being able to draw a beautiful portrait only to have Hitomi's rapid movements blur or flick off its efforts.
She was getting tired, the loss of blood was weakening her stamina quickly. She knew she would not last long.
Van! What is he doing? Why is he attacking me?! Even if I had the power to defeat him. NO! I refuse to hurt him!!!
With renewed vigor, Hitomi continued battling. But she had to conserve her energy. She stopped blocking Van's blows and began using the surrounding trees to help her. As Van came rushing towards her, Hitomi waited until he was almost upon her and quickly darted behind the tree trunk so that Van's blade hit the trunk with a dull thud and buried itself deep within the wood.
Roaring in frustration, Van wrenched his sword free. His heart was pounding furiously against his ribcage. His life, his blood danced to their fierce beat through his ears and suddenly he was in pain.
Hitomi was afraid, despite what the weird voice had said earlier.
I'm not afraid, I should not be afraid. It's Van! I'm brave and I can defeat him! Who am I kidding? I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm beyond afraid!!!!!!!!!!
Her heart was up in her throat, threatening to choke her. Her heart was beating angrily and she feel her blood rushing up to flood her mouth. Hitomi swallowed noisily, trying to dislodge the offending vessel. She had merely imagined the blood in her mouth, but she could taste the iron and it left a nasty feeling on her tongue.
It coated her tongue with its slimy nature and relentlessly oozed down her throat. Hitomi gagged and her vision swam, but the blood iron taste continued until it began filling her stomach with its warm content.
She had no idea when the pain had started. A sharp lance had suddenly shoved its way into her ribs. Another and another and another followed the sharp lance of pain until her tears and her throat raw from her screaming had blinded Hitomi.
In synchronization. their hearts. in synchronization. their hearts were beating in synchronization!
Through the dull haze that the pain had shrouded her mind with, Hitomi was vaguely aware of the synch.
The animalistic Van felt the synch and did not understand. The beast in him recoiled in horror from the unknown feeling.
Hitomi stood up from where she had fallen; her eyes were glazed over with pain, but she moved like one possessed. In a way she was, she was possessed by the painful responsibility of her duty.
Time slowed and Hitomi charged towards Van, her legs fighting the overwhelming strength of the time mud that surrounded her legs. Her twin shining blades out in front of her flew towards their target.
She would kill him and she would end it. She would end everything here and now with one thrust!
Screaming and with tears streaming from her eyes, Hitomi thrust, throwing her strength into her right arm. She bowed her head as not to witness the death as she felt the skin, flesh, and muscle tear, then the slight thunk as she hit bone. but she stopped. She couldn't go on. she couldn't let it end like this.
A rhythmic beating shook the blood-spattered grove of trees.
:: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump ::
A bright pink glare shown from Hitomi's pocket and the pulsing she had felt earlier resumed except the beat, it was beating fit to burst! The energeist emanated waves of lust and rage, hard edges of hatred softened as they broke against Hitomi's cheek.
Uhnnn. those feelings. they seem familiar.
Van, though possessed as he was, felt the slight pulsing of the small pink pendant on his chest. His eyes clearing from their lustful haze glanced down.
A small rose-pink crystal, capped in silver at the top of its oval shape, hung from a leather cord which circled his neck. Van became entranced as he noticed the white glow caged within the crystal's interior. The glow was a small, slender, and petite thing, but it danced with all the courage and aggressiveness of a warrior.
Hnnn. Hitomi. this ripple of emotions. I can feel . sadness. Hitomi's sad? Is this her? Are you her? You seem familiar.
The beating of the energeist, the pulsing of the pendant filled the small grove with their rhythm. The dance of death must continue, no interruptions will be allowed.
The beating and the pulsing struggled to unite with each other; it strained for oneness; to be one with the other.
Hitomi slowly, with a sickening sound, slid her blade from where it had come to rest at the edge of Van's collarbone.
Van, the hatred and anger gone from his eyes, raised his bloodstained sword in reply.
Yes, the dance would continue.
Van's blood swirled with his sweat as it sank into the red fibers of his shirt. The rapid darkening of the cloth signaled Van of his detrimental wound. Heedless to the pain pounding his nerves, Van turned his left foot with the smallest of motion toward Hitomi.
Hitomi knew he would charge, and she knew what her role in this pre- ordained dance would be.
One small scuff of a boot in the dirt and Van came charging towards Hitomi, his sword thrust in front of him. Hitomi drew her swords up in a readied defense.
Van swung towards her legs in an attempt to cripple her. Hitomi with a quick twist swung her left arm upward to block Van's downward cut with a loud clang.
Both of them knew they would die of from their loss of blood if the dance were not ended quickly.
Hitomi knew Van was more than a match for her even with her twin blades, and if she were not careful, she would die.the energeist soothed her worn body, lending her the last bit of energy she would need.
Van acknowledged her skill. she truly was a warrior. the pendant with its soft, white glow gently gnawed away at Van's hard exterior. The one he built up for himself when in the midst of battle. Van had learned the hard way, if one did not have the fortress to protect one's soul from the fierce attacks of both physical and physiological means, it would be inviting defeat.
But the white glow would not allow that. The fortress would be his downfall.
In a silent, mutual agreement, the two separated to opposite sides of the clearing and prepared for the last pass.
Hitomi's twin blades, dripping Van's blood. Van's blade, coated with Hitomi's blood. The energeist and pendant increased in vibration, shaking their holders into numbness. They were getting closer, the beating and pulsing were almost in sync.
As Van started running towards each Hitomi. the vibration flourished within their very muscles, their very veins, and seeped into the marrow of their bones.
Hitomi focused her entire will and desire into her tainted blades. Closing her eyes, she opened them into the darkness of her mind. "Yuki wo dashite."[focus everything.] Hitomi whispered to herself.
The beating acknowledged her power and with a final beat.
Throwing her mind out into the blackness of space, Hitomi could see or rather feel Van running swiftly towards her. Biting her lip and with her eyes clenched shut, Hitomi stood her ground and counted. san. ni .
. united in synchronization with the pulsing. together, Hitomi and Van's hearts beat, pulsed, blood flowing, gushing in torrents through each other.
Suddenly, it disappeared; the spot of familiarity that was Van in her mind's eye. Hitomi opened her eyes in shock, she was running. her target who was standing still. was herself!!
Van opened his eyes in shock. One moment he had been running towards her, ready to end the battle, when suddenly he found himself in a completely different situation. Realization struck them both: they had switched places.
But as quickly as it had happened, it reverted back. Hitomi was now standing on defense with Van rushing aggressively forward. Then again, they switched, and again, switched back.
One moment Van was charging, his booted feet barely touching the ground as he flew towards his opponent, then at the next moment, he was holding two swords ready to fend off a blow.
As Van/Hitomi drew nearer and nearer towards Hitomi/ Van, their confusion threw them off balance and in final switch, Van with Hitomi's twin blades sheathed them both deep within Hitomi's upper body.
It was done. finally the dance was over. and the two would now be free from the aggression and hatred that had found them during the heat of battle.
I'm going to die. I knew this.. is how it would end.don't worry Van, daijobu.
The last thought Hitomi sent with her the last of her fading power to Van's unconscious mind.
As her vision started to grow darken and swim. an indescribable warmth started pouring out from her ruptured heart to flow in her veins and travel to the very tips of her fingers and toes.
So this is what it feels like to die.
The Draconian blood that had stained the edges of Hitomi's swords, detached themselves molecule by molecule from the surface of the blades to mingle with the blood of the human.
YESSSS I'M DONE!!!! Do you know how long it took for me to write that??? I apologize since this is an unedited version. I didn't have time to edit because I needed to get it posted for my faithful readers! I'm terribly sorry for the inevitable grammatical mistakes and the in general crappy writing since I'm writing this with a deadline in mind. Once again I apologize for being late and knowing there'll probably be questions about the story, feel free to ask and please be specific. in YOUR REVIEW!!!! ONCE AGAIN, I am begging, pleading for 10 reviews!! THANKS SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO COMPLY!!!
My sincere thanks to: dancegoddess, Pyro'sgirl, DEE, R.T.A Wings, LOVE WITCH, Genkai Lady, Kartos, Crystal-moon, Ruby, and FayeValentine00!!!!
Kartos: okay, umm. yeah Van learns to control his anger in the TV series and movies because Hitomi was there to help him. Now she's been gone for a couple years and something ~mysterious~ is um. helping Van's anger and loneliness along. ::hehe:: (
Disclaimer: As much as I long or wish, Escaflowne belongs not to me, but another.
A Silent Moment:: Chapter 6
What is fear? Why am I afraid? Do I fear death? Or do I fear the process of dying?
What is my purpose?
Death is merely the ceasing of function of a living organism.
Really? Is that all it is?
Then. why? Why am I afraid?
It is a natural instinct to fear death and destruction. All living things struggle to live. You are no different.
I struggle for life, even if I have no purpose?
Yes.
But I do have a purpose.
What is your purpose then, young human?
To survive. and to find Van.
Why do you seek this Van?
Because I worry about him.
He does not care. He does not worry for you. He does not want you here.
You lie! Van does care for me! He said so himself!
And yet, he has ignored you for the past few years. If he really cared for you like you say, why did he cease to acknowledge you?
Van. he. has his reasons.
Then. why is he trying to destroy you? Right this very moment?
Na. nani???!!!
A wild, unrestrained laughter echoed throughout Hitomi's mind, bouncing off the firm walls of her determination. She shivered as the malice and the amusement hit her skin like a cold evening wind.
You humans are incredibly stupid, but you provide entertainment. I shall leave you now to battle for your life. If you survive, I will pay a visit to you again.
The sudden cold that had engulfed her, dissipated, leaving behind a wide gulf of doubt.
Hitomi snapped back, which was lucky for her, as the situation was about to become much more life threatening.
"Teki wo korosu." [I will kill all my enemies.]
I am not afraid. I am not afraid. it's Van after all. he wouldn't hurt me!
Hitomi cautiously lowered her swords, letting the tips of the blades rest softly upon the dirt of the forest floor. If what the weird voice had said was true, then this was Van, but he obviously was not himself.
"Van..! It's me, Hitomi!"
Van, oblivious to her voice, continued staring at her. Hitomi shivered, not from the chill of evening, but from the lust, the thirst for blood, which raged behind his eyes. The amber eyes she had so often seen, soft as honey.
She loved his eyes; the warmth she had bathed in, the depth of those gold- flecked windows that allowed her and no one else, to peek into his soul. But now, they were no longer the gold eyes of her Van, but the blood-red eyes of a beast.
Man possesses a soul and a conscience; these are the discrepancies that separate beast and human. However, man is beast deep down. He carries the instincts from the past when he was nothing more than a common creature, scrambling for survival in the harsh world. Today, society and rules have boxed in and suppressed man's natural urges and replaced them with restraints and the artificial such as education and mannerisms. However, callings from deep within, the wild side, cannot be chained for long. Someday it will break free.
Van grinned his unearthly grin; the smile of a killer. The enemy was weak for she had willingly lowered her defenses. Well if she was going to present him with such an advantage, he had no choice but to take it.
Moving swiftly, he closed in on Hitomi who was standing there with her blades down, completely unaware of his attack.
Her catlike reflexes, the ones she had gained from years on track, saved her life. Seeing a blur come rushing at her, Hitomi had quickly stepped aside just as Van thrust his sword into where her chest would have been. But she had been too slow, his sword had managed to tear the skin, muscle, and hit a vein in her right shoulder.
Hitomi bit her lip to keep the scream from erupting. She had no time and no way to staunch her hemorrhaging shoulder. The blood ran in thick red rivers, swiveling in delightful patterns, traveling down all the way to her hand to drip onto the ground.
Blood. what an enchanting color. He just had to see more of it!
Bring her swords into play, Hitomi barely managed to fend off Van's vicious blow. He was like a hurricane! He just kept coming, attacking, stabbing, thrusting, searching for her weak spot.
In the midst of it all, the blood kept drawing. It seemed to find amusement in being able to draw a beautiful portrait only to have Hitomi's rapid movements blur or flick off its efforts.
She was getting tired, the loss of blood was weakening her stamina quickly. She knew she would not last long.
Van! What is he doing? Why is he attacking me?! Even if I had the power to defeat him. NO! I refuse to hurt him!!!
With renewed vigor, Hitomi continued battling. But she had to conserve her energy. She stopped blocking Van's blows and began using the surrounding trees to help her. As Van came rushing towards her, Hitomi waited until he was almost upon her and quickly darted behind the tree trunk so that Van's blade hit the trunk with a dull thud and buried itself deep within the wood.
Roaring in frustration, Van wrenched his sword free. His heart was pounding furiously against his ribcage. His life, his blood danced to their fierce beat through his ears and suddenly he was in pain.
Hitomi was afraid, despite what the weird voice had said earlier.
I'm not afraid, I should not be afraid. It's Van! I'm brave and I can defeat him! Who am I kidding? I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm beyond afraid!!!!!!!!!!
Her heart was up in her throat, threatening to choke her. Her heart was beating angrily and she feel her blood rushing up to flood her mouth. Hitomi swallowed noisily, trying to dislodge the offending vessel. She had merely imagined the blood in her mouth, but she could taste the iron and it left a nasty feeling on her tongue.
It coated her tongue with its slimy nature and relentlessly oozed down her throat. Hitomi gagged and her vision swam, but the blood iron taste continued until it began filling her stomach with its warm content.
She had no idea when the pain had started. A sharp lance had suddenly shoved its way into her ribs. Another and another and another followed the sharp lance of pain until her tears and her throat raw from her screaming had blinded Hitomi.
In synchronization. their hearts. in synchronization. their hearts were beating in synchronization!
Through the dull haze that the pain had shrouded her mind with, Hitomi was vaguely aware of the synch.
The animalistic Van felt the synch and did not understand. The beast in him recoiled in horror from the unknown feeling.
Hitomi stood up from where she had fallen; her eyes were glazed over with pain, but she moved like one possessed. In a way she was, she was possessed by the painful responsibility of her duty.
Time slowed and Hitomi charged towards Van, her legs fighting the overwhelming strength of the time mud that surrounded her legs. Her twin shining blades out in front of her flew towards their target.
She would kill him and she would end it. She would end everything here and now with one thrust!
Screaming and with tears streaming from her eyes, Hitomi thrust, throwing her strength into her right arm. She bowed her head as not to witness the death as she felt the skin, flesh, and muscle tear, then the slight thunk as she hit bone. but she stopped. She couldn't go on. she couldn't let it end like this.
A rhythmic beating shook the blood-spattered grove of trees.
:: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump :: :: bump ::
A bright pink glare shown from Hitomi's pocket and the pulsing she had felt earlier resumed except the beat, it was beating fit to burst! The energeist emanated waves of lust and rage, hard edges of hatred softened as they broke against Hitomi's cheek.
Uhnnn. those feelings. they seem familiar.
Van, though possessed as he was, felt the slight pulsing of the small pink pendant on his chest. His eyes clearing from their lustful haze glanced down.
A small rose-pink crystal, capped in silver at the top of its oval shape, hung from a leather cord which circled his neck. Van became entranced as he noticed the white glow caged within the crystal's interior. The glow was a small, slender, and petite thing, but it danced with all the courage and aggressiveness of a warrior.
Hnnn. Hitomi. this ripple of emotions. I can feel . sadness. Hitomi's sad? Is this her? Are you her? You seem familiar.
The beating of the energeist, the pulsing of the pendant filled the small grove with their rhythm. The dance of death must continue, no interruptions will be allowed.
The beating and the pulsing struggled to unite with each other; it strained for oneness; to be one with the other.
Hitomi slowly, with a sickening sound, slid her blade from where it had come to rest at the edge of Van's collarbone.
Van, the hatred and anger gone from his eyes, raised his bloodstained sword in reply.
Yes, the dance would continue.
Van's blood swirled with his sweat as it sank into the red fibers of his shirt. The rapid darkening of the cloth signaled Van of his detrimental wound. Heedless to the pain pounding his nerves, Van turned his left foot with the smallest of motion toward Hitomi.
Hitomi knew he would charge, and she knew what her role in this pre- ordained dance would be.
One small scuff of a boot in the dirt and Van came charging towards Hitomi, his sword thrust in front of him. Hitomi drew her swords up in a readied defense.
Van swung towards her legs in an attempt to cripple her. Hitomi with a quick twist swung her left arm upward to block Van's downward cut with a loud clang.
Both of them knew they would die of from their loss of blood if the dance were not ended quickly.
Hitomi knew Van was more than a match for her even with her twin blades, and if she were not careful, she would die.the energeist soothed her worn body, lending her the last bit of energy she would need.
Van acknowledged her skill. she truly was a warrior. the pendant with its soft, white glow gently gnawed away at Van's hard exterior. The one he built up for himself when in the midst of battle. Van had learned the hard way, if one did not have the fortress to protect one's soul from the fierce attacks of both physical and physiological means, it would be inviting defeat.
But the white glow would not allow that. The fortress would be his downfall.
In a silent, mutual agreement, the two separated to opposite sides of the clearing and prepared for the last pass.
Hitomi's twin blades, dripping Van's blood. Van's blade, coated with Hitomi's blood. The energeist and pendant increased in vibration, shaking their holders into numbness. They were getting closer, the beating and pulsing were almost in sync.
As Van started running towards each Hitomi. the vibration flourished within their very muscles, their very veins, and seeped into the marrow of their bones.
Hitomi focused her entire will and desire into her tainted blades. Closing her eyes, she opened them into the darkness of her mind. "Yuki wo dashite."[focus everything.] Hitomi whispered to herself.
The beating acknowledged her power and with a final beat.
Throwing her mind out into the blackness of space, Hitomi could see or rather feel Van running swiftly towards her. Biting her lip and with her eyes clenched shut, Hitomi stood her ground and counted. san. ni .
. united in synchronization with the pulsing. together, Hitomi and Van's hearts beat, pulsed, blood flowing, gushing in torrents through each other.
Suddenly, it disappeared; the spot of familiarity that was Van in her mind's eye. Hitomi opened her eyes in shock, she was running. her target who was standing still. was herself!!
Van opened his eyes in shock. One moment he had been running towards her, ready to end the battle, when suddenly he found himself in a completely different situation. Realization struck them both: they had switched places.
But as quickly as it had happened, it reverted back. Hitomi was now standing on defense with Van rushing aggressively forward. Then again, they switched, and again, switched back.
One moment Van was charging, his booted feet barely touching the ground as he flew towards his opponent, then at the next moment, he was holding two swords ready to fend off a blow.
As Van/Hitomi drew nearer and nearer towards Hitomi/ Van, their confusion threw them off balance and in final switch, Van with Hitomi's twin blades sheathed them both deep within Hitomi's upper body.
It was done. finally the dance was over. and the two would now be free from the aggression and hatred that had found them during the heat of battle.
I'm going to die. I knew this.. is how it would end.don't worry Van, daijobu.
The last thought Hitomi sent with her the last of her fading power to Van's unconscious mind.
As her vision started to grow darken and swim. an indescribable warmth started pouring out from her ruptured heart to flow in her veins and travel to the very tips of her fingers and toes.
So this is what it feels like to die.
The Draconian blood that had stained the edges of Hitomi's swords, detached themselves molecule by molecule from the surface of the blades to mingle with the blood of the human.
YESSSS I'M DONE!!!! Do you know how long it took for me to write that??? I apologize since this is an unedited version. I didn't have time to edit because I needed to get it posted for my faithful readers! I'm terribly sorry for the inevitable grammatical mistakes and the in general crappy writing since I'm writing this with a deadline in mind. Once again I apologize for being late and knowing there'll probably be questions about the story, feel free to ask and please be specific. in YOUR REVIEW!!!! ONCE AGAIN, I am begging, pleading for 10 reviews!! THANKS SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO COMPLY!!!