Legolas Frolics some more, with a PLOT! HURRAH!
Hey, haven't written anything in FAR too long. And then I got a review and felt guilty. And yes, I think I need a more substantial plot. Sooooo let's try and form one!
Scene: Gannondorf, Zelda, and Legolas in front of Hyrule castle
Suddenly, Gannondorf decided to actually become evil!
"BWA HA HA HA HA!" Gannondorf laughed diabolically, "I will capture the Triforce and rule the world!"
"Oh darn," said Zelda, "I was hoping you would just leave and lock yourself in the realm of eternal darkness."
"I'm afraid of the dark," said Legolas randomly even though no one cared.
There was a long extended pause.
"Um. So are you going to steal the Triforce?" asked Zelda.
"NO! FIRST I MUST COME UP WITH A DIABOLICAL PLAN!" Gannondorf bellowed. Then he ran away to go concoct his plan. Lame, I know, but it gets better!
The sky turned ominously dark and it started to rain. Suddenly Link came riding up to them.
"Hey! I got the Master Sword again!" he said enthusiastically. "They told me it was stuck in the pedestal, but THEY LIE!"
A sudden flash of lightning streaked across the sky as Link brandished his sword towards the heavens.
"Now! To defeat Ganonndorf..AGAIN!" Link declared.
"I'm so not included!" Legolas said, spoiling the moment.
"Who are you anyway?" asked Zelda.
"I AM LEGOLAS Prince of Mirkwood and so on and so forth!"
"Um."
"So, where do we start?" Link asked, breaking the silence.
As if in answer to his question a bolt of lightning struck at their feet, lighting Legolas's cape on fire. As Legolas screamed and ran around again, Link and Zelda examined the glowing rune left behind by the lightning.
"What is it?" asked Link.
"I don't know. Even though I should. The Triforce of Wisdom is overrated!" Zelda replied.
The rune glowed and turned into a piece of parchment, on which was written:
BWA HA HA HA HA! I AM GANNONDORF! I WILL RULE ALL! BWA HA HA HA! COME TO MY HIDEOUT! BWA HA HA HA HA! TO FIND IT FOLLOW THESE RIDDLES THREE:
Over the hills and through the woods to grandmother's house we go. Do you know the muffin man? Go to Impa's hometown. You will find a surprise awaiting you.
"Um. Was that even a riddle?" Link questioned.
"No. I guess Gannondorf is just stupid. We were definitely overestimating him."
Meanwhile, the rain had put out the fire in Legolas's cloak, which was already half-consumed by the fire from the inter-dimensional rest stop.
Having nothing better to do, the trio went to Impa's hometown, Kakario village or however you would spell that. Seeing as how it's only going to be mentioned once in this story I don't feel the overwhelming need to look it up.
"So now what? I don't see anything that could be of any use to us." Zelda mused.
A lone cuckoo clucked contentedly as it foraged for food. Then it exploded.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" shrieked Legolas, waking up the whole village.
"What gives?" yelled one of the disgruntled village folk.
"Who did that?!" yelled another.
"T'was he who did it!" a random person pointed out, pointing to Legolas.
"Him?"
"YES!"
There was a strange and foreboding silence.
"KILL THE BEAST!" Yelled the whole town.
Suddenly they were armed with flaming pitchforks and the like.
"AUGH!" shrieked Legolas AGAIN. He promptly barricaded himself inside a random farmhouse. Link and Zelda followed, as the crowd outside looked none too friendly.
"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, KNAVE!" Zelda shouted angrily.
"I couldn't help it!" Legolas protested.
"Yeah, Zelda, he couldn't help it," Link jumped in.
Legolas gave Zelda an "I told you so" sort of look.
"After all, he has no control over his own stupidity." Link continued.
"WAHHHHHHHH! YOU DON'T LIKE MEEEEEEE!" Legolas burst into tears.
Outside, the crowd was ramming the door. The situation seemed hopeless for our heroes *pause* and Legolas.
Suddenly a small voice cried, "Don't worry! We'll save you!"
The group looked up to see a group of random household items and kitchen utensils hopping towards them.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They screamed in horror.
They all ran and hid behind the bed at the exact moment the door burst open. What luck!
"KILL THE BEAST!" they unruly mob screamed in unison as if they had rehearsed.
"On three, ready? One, two, three..KILL THE BEAST" they all hollered AGAIN!
Unprepared for the barrage of kitchen utensils and other household items, the crowd didn't stand a chance. However, this story is rated PG, so there was only a bunch of cheesy freeze shots of people about to get hit and then a screen with the word "POW" on it.
When the battle was over, a candle hopped over to Link and company.
"You are safe!" the candle said with a cheesy Russian accent. RIGHT RUSSIAN! NOT FRENCH! In case the story was starting to sound familiar.
"Hello small talking candle" Legolas said obliviously.
"Is he with you?" the candle asked.
"Never met him," Link and Zelda replied in unison.
"OH VELL! I am to deliver this message to you: the King of Darkness resides in the forest where all is lost. Beware, for you may become one of THEM!"
"The forest where all is lost?" asked Link, scratching his head in thought.
"Perhaps he means the Lost Woods." Zelda suggested.
"COOOORRECT! This message will now self-destruct." The candle exploded, lighting the shack on fire.
"Um. Ok. Let's get out of here before we fry." Link said, dragging Zelda out with him. Legolas ran out screaming, his cape on fire for the umpteenth time.
So, our heroes *pause* and Legolas, went on their merry way to the Lost Woods, little knowing what surprises await them when they arrive. Will they survive? Find out NEXT TIME! BWA HA HA HA! Because I'm not about tell you! BWA HA HA HA!
Hey, haven't written anything in FAR too long. And then I got a review and felt guilty. And yes, I think I need a more substantial plot. Sooooo let's try and form one!
Scene: Gannondorf, Zelda, and Legolas in front of Hyrule castle
Suddenly, Gannondorf decided to actually become evil!
"BWA HA HA HA HA!" Gannondorf laughed diabolically, "I will capture the Triforce and rule the world!"
"Oh darn," said Zelda, "I was hoping you would just leave and lock yourself in the realm of eternal darkness."
"I'm afraid of the dark," said Legolas randomly even though no one cared.
There was a long extended pause.
"Um. So are you going to steal the Triforce?" asked Zelda.
"NO! FIRST I MUST COME UP WITH A DIABOLICAL PLAN!" Gannondorf bellowed. Then he ran away to go concoct his plan. Lame, I know, but it gets better!
The sky turned ominously dark and it started to rain. Suddenly Link came riding up to them.
"Hey! I got the Master Sword again!" he said enthusiastically. "They told me it was stuck in the pedestal, but THEY LIE!"
A sudden flash of lightning streaked across the sky as Link brandished his sword towards the heavens.
"Now! To defeat Ganonndorf..AGAIN!" Link declared.
"I'm so not included!" Legolas said, spoiling the moment.
"Who are you anyway?" asked Zelda.
"I AM LEGOLAS Prince of Mirkwood and so on and so forth!"
"Um."
"So, where do we start?" Link asked, breaking the silence.
As if in answer to his question a bolt of lightning struck at their feet, lighting Legolas's cape on fire. As Legolas screamed and ran around again, Link and Zelda examined the glowing rune left behind by the lightning.
"What is it?" asked Link.
"I don't know. Even though I should. The Triforce of Wisdom is overrated!" Zelda replied.
The rune glowed and turned into a piece of parchment, on which was written:
BWA HA HA HA HA! I AM GANNONDORF! I WILL RULE ALL! BWA HA HA HA! COME TO MY HIDEOUT! BWA HA HA HA HA! TO FIND IT FOLLOW THESE RIDDLES THREE:
Over the hills and through the woods to grandmother's house we go. Do you know the muffin man? Go to Impa's hometown. You will find a surprise awaiting you.
"Um. Was that even a riddle?" Link questioned.
"No. I guess Gannondorf is just stupid. We were definitely overestimating him."
Meanwhile, the rain had put out the fire in Legolas's cloak, which was already half-consumed by the fire from the inter-dimensional rest stop.
Having nothing better to do, the trio went to Impa's hometown, Kakario village or however you would spell that. Seeing as how it's only going to be mentioned once in this story I don't feel the overwhelming need to look it up.
"So now what? I don't see anything that could be of any use to us." Zelda mused.
A lone cuckoo clucked contentedly as it foraged for food. Then it exploded.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" shrieked Legolas, waking up the whole village.
"What gives?" yelled one of the disgruntled village folk.
"Who did that?!" yelled another.
"T'was he who did it!" a random person pointed out, pointing to Legolas.
"Him?"
"YES!"
There was a strange and foreboding silence.
"KILL THE BEAST!" Yelled the whole town.
Suddenly they were armed with flaming pitchforks and the like.
"AUGH!" shrieked Legolas AGAIN. He promptly barricaded himself inside a random farmhouse. Link and Zelda followed, as the crowd outside looked none too friendly.
"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, KNAVE!" Zelda shouted angrily.
"I couldn't help it!" Legolas protested.
"Yeah, Zelda, he couldn't help it," Link jumped in.
Legolas gave Zelda an "I told you so" sort of look.
"After all, he has no control over his own stupidity." Link continued.
"WAHHHHHHHH! YOU DON'T LIKE MEEEEEEE!" Legolas burst into tears.
Outside, the crowd was ramming the door. The situation seemed hopeless for our heroes *pause* and Legolas.
Suddenly a small voice cried, "Don't worry! We'll save you!"
The group looked up to see a group of random household items and kitchen utensils hopping towards them.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They screamed in horror.
They all ran and hid behind the bed at the exact moment the door burst open. What luck!
"KILL THE BEAST!" they unruly mob screamed in unison as if they had rehearsed.
"On three, ready? One, two, three..KILL THE BEAST" they all hollered AGAIN!
Unprepared for the barrage of kitchen utensils and other household items, the crowd didn't stand a chance. However, this story is rated PG, so there was only a bunch of cheesy freeze shots of people about to get hit and then a screen with the word "POW" on it.
When the battle was over, a candle hopped over to Link and company.
"You are safe!" the candle said with a cheesy Russian accent. RIGHT RUSSIAN! NOT FRENCH! In case the story was starting to sound familiar.
"Hello small talking candle" Legolas said obliviously.
"Is he with you?" the candle asked.
"Never met him," Link and Zelda replied in unison.
"OH VELL! I am to deliver this message to you: the King of Darkness resides in the forest where all is lost. Beware, for you may become one of THEM!"
"The forest where all is lost?" asked Link, scratching his head in thought.
"Perhaps he means the Lost Woods." Zelda suggested.
"COOOORRECT! This message will now self-destruct." The candle exploded, lighting the shack on fire.
"Um. Ok. Let's get out of here before we fry." Link said, dragging Zelda out with him. Legolas ran out screaming, his cape on fire for the umpteenth time.
So, our heroes *pause* and Legolas, went on their merry way to the Lost Woods, little knowing what surprises await them when they arrive. Will they survive? Find out NEXT TIME! BWA HA HA HA! Because I'm not about tell you! BWA HA HA HA!