Seeking Answers

Guydin's words had pierced her, and in the silence that followed she edged closer to the brink of madness. Cut off from the Source, she was nevertheless painfully aware of its presence, just out of reach. The fuzzy wall between her and it was not designed to conceal but to effectively sever. Despite its gauzy appearance, the wall was hard as stone when Rayel tentatively pressed up against it. She managed, amazingly, to limit the force with which she strained against her new bonds, testing their strength. She did not want to appear as desperate as she really was, not to Guydin or this strange woman in her company.

She caught a glimpse of movement to her left as the first of her captors came into sight. It was the small, nameless Sister, Guydin's companion and evidently also her co-conspirator. Who isn't a conspirator these days? Rayel thought sourly to herself, watching as the woman, bathed in saidar's glow, moved around to stand directly in front of her. Seeing that she was channelling somehow infuriated Rayel. Even under the woman's disturbing gaze Rayel continued out of habit to probe gently at the shield, working almost absent-mindedly. Soon enough Guydin too appeared, also embracing the Source. She came to a halt beside the shield-maker, towering over both her and Rayel.

They each held themselves with impeccable poise, regarding Rayel with varying expressions of coolness. She looked back at them with wide eyes, unable to control her palpitating heart or the irregular breathing that persisted even as she continued to probe gently at the shield from multiple angles. She was gaining a better understanding of the shield-maker's strengths and weaknesses, hoping to find some loophole she could slip through and orchestrate her escape.

At the same time she was frantic, not really believing herself capable of breaking free. Panic had nearly overtaken her. Light, oh Light, why did I not embrace the Source as I walked away from them, just in case? She knew it was pointless asking such questions now, but she couldn't help herself. She was consumed with despair and anger, the two emotions using her mind as a battlefield. Hindsight told her that the risk of embracing saidar would have been well worth it. By the time she had brought up a precautionary ward around herself, any attack that came from behind would've slid right off her. What a pity she hadn't thought of all this a little earlier. Now all she could do was rail against the injustice that had been done to her, and probe uselessly at the tight-knit, professional-looking weave that imprisoned her.

All through this, one thought stuck with her: she had let herself be captured, and in retrospect she felt like the most incredible fool.

Be steadfast, a voice told Rayel, a little stronger than last time. While spoken only once, the words echoed repeatedly in her mind. She saw them as an encouragement to keep exploring her captor's weave, even if deep down inside she believed it a pointless exercise. In the end, she could never bring herself to give up.

Guydin spoke again, dragging Rayel out of her grim thoughts, but not away from her explorations of the shield. She managed to listen with half an ear to Guydin at the same time as working away at the weaves that bound her.

"Despite whatever you might be thinking at this moment," Gudyin began, "I never wanted this. You have always been fair to me, Rayel." The woman frowned slightly, cocking her head, and went on to try and justify herself, even if Rayel was certain she didn't feel an obligation to. "Yet in these times, it is necessary that we take precautions." Her gaze suddenly drilled into Rayel, hard where it had just been almost gentle. "You, as one of the more sensible individuals in this land, know as much."

Briefly, Rayel was on the brink of hysteria. Her explorations ceased as her mind struggled to process the reality of her situation. For a moment it seemed like it might fail to cope. In the end, though, her ability to perceive that she was near breaking point was what saved her from taking the long final tumble. After a few precarious moments balanced on the knife-edge, she stumbled back, coming to the abrupt realisation that there was no point giving up. Until the moment she died, there was still hope.

A thin film of sweat had appeared on her forehead, the result of extreme stress, and she felt a sudden resolve to make it disappear – permanently. She stared right at Guydin.

"Why are you doing this?" she croaked, surprised and dismayed that her voice sounded so weak. "What are you hoping to gain?"

Unexpectedly, the stranger was the one to answer, as if she felt she had a right to address Rayel in a similar way to how Guydin would address her.

"Rayel, Rayel. Surely you must have a clue by now." Her voice was chastising, the expression on her face slightly mocking. "You are neither ally nor foe, as yet. But were you a foe, at least we would know where you stood. You favour neutrality instead. That is perhaps the worst crime you could commit, and the most cowardly. The least convenient for us, certainly."

You call me cowardly? Rayel muttered silently in amazement, running "fingers" over the weave that bound her at the same time as staring at the petite woman whose voice had harboured such quiet vehemence. You have to shield me and bind me before confronting me, Rayel told her silently. Of the two of us, who is more cowardly? Aloud she said, "How can I declare myself friend or foe when I do not know if you two are friend or foe to me? I am no more foolhardy than you."

The two other women exchanged glances, and Guydin looked vaguely taken aback. "An interesting point, and well worth making," she murmured, eyeing Rayel. "And yet it demonstrates the dilemma we three find ourselves in. It is somewhat of a vicious circle. You cannot trust us, and we cannot trust you."

"Well, then," the smaller woman sighed. "What are we to do?" The way she said it, it sounded more like a rhetorical question: Rayel felt a chill climbing up her spine, finally exploding over her scalp and making it tingle.

"I would like an answer to that," Rayel interjected.

Guydin's sharp gaze fixed on her again, and it suddenly felt hard to breathe. "And you will have it," she said simply. "In just a little while. You will come with us now, to a place where you may be safely monitored."

Rayel's heart sank to her feet as Guydin stepped forward and gripped a part of her forearm that was not hidden by thick bands of Air.