Decisions, Decisions

OOC: Going to call the woman Rayel freed from the shield Shadow, even though that's not her real name.

IC:

Gradually she became aware of herself, of the fact that she existed. The darkness began to fade, only to swoop back in, and then fade again. It rose and fell like a petulant tide, unable to decide where it wanted to be. Finally it began to recede further and further, and she realised that she was moving. Not by choice, of course, but she was being moved nonetheless. The next realisation told her that she was being dragged somewhere. A pair or two of rough, angry hands maintained weak but apparently determined grips on her arms, while letting the rest of her trail behind.

When she opened her eyes and tried to focus, the first thing that became clear was the ceiling far above her. The second was that she was in a lot of physical pain, and that the rough handling by the hands on her arms wasn't helping. Her shoulder, which had been pinned by the triangle of ice earlier, throbbed unbearably. Letting her head loll to the side – not really having any other choice in her current weakened state – Rayel saw that she was being dragged along one of the Tower hallways, and that the person dragging her was out of her line of vision, behind her.

Her head heart. Oh, how her head hurt. Then she remembered it all. Remembered how her head had come to hurt. Not only had that chip of ice chilled her to he core, but she had been using so much of saidar for so long that she had nearly ruined herself. She probably needed water and food to replenish her body's resources. But she was hardly in the position currently to go and get herself some. She was too busy being dragged against her will.

For a moment the darkness began to impede on her vision again, and strangely, she expected to be enveloped by a bright glow that would divide her into millions of pieces and then reform her again. But her vision strengthened again, and she kept her eyes closed as she tried to think of what to do.

The way back will come but once. When the voice came this time it seemed far more distant than it had in previous instances. It also seemed resigned, as if it wasn't really motivated to bring her the message, but had to anyway, because that was its function. Be steadfast, it said then, but it seemed to Rayel that it was rather saying, I tried; do what you want. It did not seem angry or hurt, just sad and tired. Don't leave me, she thought in despair, wanting again to cry and, also again, finding that she could not. Please don't leave.

"I…can't…do this anymore," someone gasped, and as it was a mere whisper, Rayel couldn't recognise the voice. "I just…am…so…so tired."

"Shut-up," Guydin snapped from a distance, grunting somewhat – it seemed she was struggling with some physical burden too, if it wasn't just her injuries from the earlier battle. Rayel's foggy mind slowly figured that, if that person farther away was Guydin, then the person dragging her must be Blue, now recovered – somewhat at least – from their altercation. Of course, other friends could have joined Guydin, and one of those could be the one dragging Rayel now. Rayel had no way of knowing while she was being treated like a sack of potatoes.

"How…dare you… I…am Melarintha…Zeznanie…Anjell…Verdis…Langes…"

"I know-what your-name is, fool," Guydin grunted harshly. Rayel still could not see anything but the ceiling and, when she tucked her chin in, the receding hallway, but she wondered if Guydin was dragging Shadow, the woman Rayel had freed from the shield earlier. "But you do not seem to realise that I do not care."

Melarintha? Could that be Blue's name?

"Where…are we…going…?" Melarintha gasped, clearly not doing too well physically. Her progress along the hallway had seemingly slowed, for she now dragged Rayel with more jerky and slow movements.

"We are going straight to Leilan!" Guydin yelled, and it seemed like she'd stopped in the middle of the hallway. Melarintha went on for a few moments more, in a zombie-like state, before stopping too. A deep silence filled the hallway before Guydin continued, in a somewhat calmer voice. "We are going to Leilan's room, and we are going to leave that fool there while we take care of…of this one."

"Of…Agnene."

"Yes, yes, Agnene. What is your point?"

More silence, and slowly Melarintha began to loosen her grip on Rayel's arms. "I…don't want to deal…with that."

"Well, that is a pity indeed," Guydin said angrily. "Because we have no choice but to deal with it. She is here. She…is a traitor."

"She is still…on our side…to a…degree…"

Guydin's eyes flared. "How can you say that?! She is a traitor, nothing more, nothing less! And you had better recover soon, because I'll need your help with her."

Rayel wondered if that meant that, at the moment, Melarintha could not channel, being too exhausted. Her mind began to work with all the pieces of information she had gathered.

"I…won't…kill…a fellow…" Melarintha said tiredly, seeming to become more exhausted with every passing moment.

Guydin's eyes narrowed and she hissed, "Even one who killed your precious Elsen?!"

The silence this time was briefly infinite. Seemingly in despair, Melarintha released Rayel completely, letting her slump down onto the ground. She grunted out loud, involuntarily, and Guydin's eyes flew to her. She closed her eyes again but too late – Guydin had seen her. She was sure of it.

After a bit of shuffling, she heard the woman moving closer to her. She opened her eyes again, hastily embracing saidar and forming a simple but deadly weave. It only took two or three relatively thick threads of Fire to make it, and a few tiny strands of Spirit to bind it together with a strength that it would otherwise have lacked. Although Guydin embraced saidar as soon as she realised the danger, she left it too late. Rayel loosed her weave and watched as it flew at Guydin, a brightly burning dagger of fire whose edges were as sharp as any ordinary metal blade, and whose heat was especially good at eating through flesh.

She did not allow herself to be sick as the fire dagger cut through Guydin's face at the same time as she began to loose her own hastily prepared weave. Guydin dropped to the ground instantly and lay there twitching, her ruined face a horror to look upon. Her just-prepared weave flew from her fingers as she fell, but became too warped and muddled to end up what she had intended it to be. It was some kind of fire weave that died in mid air, but nonetheless sent a small wave of heat at Rayel and probably at her former captor behind her also. Guydin hadn't even had the chance to scream before death claimed her. Rayel did feel nauseous, but she managed to keep her stomach sufficiently quelled.

She knew who Leilan Sedai was: who Leilan Sedai really was, besides a Green Sister. She knew, and she never wanted to meet the woman again, knowing what might happen to her. For that reason, she had struck out at Guydin, her one-time friend, without thinking. She couldn't allow herself to think now either, at least not about the horrible death she had just caused another human being. She had to take care of herself. She had to.

It is alright to take care of oneself at times, she told herself, hoping she could come to believe it, to eradicate the guilt that had begun to eat away at her. It is alright to be self-centred sometimes…particularly when one's life is in danger. Isn't it?

She began to struggle to her feet, and as she twisted around she noticed two things: one, Guydin had indeed been dragging Shadow – or Agnene, anyway – along; and two, her own captor had indeed been Blue, or Melarintha. As she stared up into that now terrified face, she decided that somehow the name did suit her. It suited her noble appearance, if not her utterly ignoble spirit.

"Please, please, please, no, no, no, no, no, no," Melarintha ranted, backing away from Rayel. She looked absolutely terrified, and it seemed odd to Rayel that she should be the one inspiring the fear in her. She was after all on her hands and knees, nearly as exhausted as she had been when she passed out earlier, and barely able to hold herself upright even to this degree. How could she be a frightening figure in Melarintha's woman's eyes?

"You are Black Ajah," Rayel said tiredly, clenching her jaw and then finding that it took too much energy. "You…and her. Her. I used to know her reasonably well. We used to…have conversations."

"I do not want to die, I don't, I don't, please, please," Melarintha hissed, eyes round and quite insane now that Rayel thought about it.

"You are Black Ajah." Rayel's voice gradually transformed, being injected with a degree of coldness that surpassed the weariness it had formerly contained. "You…are the traitor here. You…"

"Do you know about Agnene?" Melarintha asked suddenly, reversing her movement to hasten forward towards Rayel, crouching in an odd way with her hands upturned and her arms outstretched, seeming like she was pleading for her life at the same time as promising to tell lots of deep, dark secrets in return for mercy. "She is Black Ajah also. She serves the Great Lord. But she is not our friend. Oh, no. She killed one of our own. She has turned renegade, you see."

Black Ajah… Rayel felt inexorably exhausted, thinking of Shadow, or Agnene, as Black Ajah also. I freed her from the shield, she thought with a shudder, but then remembered how Agnene had saved her from Guydin's deadly weave a while ago. Perhaps she didn't save me. Perhaps she only saved me in order to save herself.

"We hate her. But we do not hate you. Oh, if only–"

"You recall," Rayel said coldly, "how Guydin told me how sorry she was that things had come to this?" Melarintha nodded, wide-eyed and expectant. "Well, I might as well say the same thing now. To you. Here."