Chapter Five: Piccolo's Little Baby
"It's about TIME!" Trunks told his mother as she entered the room. "You've been in there SEVEN hours!" Bulma blushed and Goku couldn't help but giggle.
"What were you and Mr. Vegeta doing, ANYWAY?" Goten asked. Bulma went an even darker shade of red and Goku fell off his stool laughing. (A/n: he just ALWAYS seems to be sitting in the kitchen on a stool, doesn't he? well, it's the most likely place to find him!)
"I'm starving!" Trunks exclaimed. "Let's eat supper already!"
*~*~*
Goten stabbed the steak with his knife, and started cutting it with the fork. He soon realized that nothing was happening. "How come it's not cutting!!!????" Everyone laughed.
*~*~*
"So what were you up to while we weren't on the island, Piccolo?" Yamcha asked, attempting to start a conversation while the women finished washing dishes.
"Well…" Piccolo said. "We found out that the little Namek girl was really a little boy playing a dirty trick."
"WHAT!?" Everyone was shocked at this breaking news.
"Yep…" Piccolo sighed. "Namekians produce asexually, remember?"
"Oh yeah!"
"But where's the fun in that?" Vegeta grinned. "RIGHT, Bulma…?"
Bulma blushed. "Vegeta!" She chucked an empty salt container at him.
"Ow!" Piccolo sniffed.
"It's bad enough without you rubbing it in, Vegeta!"
"Wait… so you mean that you could just…. have a baby right now?" Yamcha asked. Piccolo's eyes went wide and he spit up a little green blob.
"Now look what you've done, Yamcha! I'M GOING TO OVERPOPULATE THE ISLAND!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo screamed. The baby Namekian suddenly started crying "Uh… what do I do?"
"OH!" Chi-Chi picked the baby up. "I bet he just wants a hug from his DADDY!"
Piccolo took the baby from Chi-Chi and it stopped crying immediately. "Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"
"It's so cute!" Eighteen exclaimed.
Piccolo smiled. "Dende!"
"Excuse me?"
"Dende!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Dende used to stop crying EVERY time I picked him up and held him!"
"Oh…." Everyone was silent.
"WHY we'll never know." Vegeta whispered and smirked.
"What was that, Vegeta!?"
"Nothing!" (A/n: Who cares if the fact that Piccolo is having a baby is false!? It's HILARIOUS!) Piccolo looked back at his baby.
"What should I name him?"
"Name him after me!" Goten exclaimed, jumping up. "Name him after ME!"
"No, me!" Trunks said, pushing Goten out of the way.
"Why don't you name him… Kami?" Krillin suggested.
"Yeah!" Goku nodded. "It's only nice!"
"Oh….. FINE!" Piccolo yelled.
"NO, that's a weird name!" Bulma exclaimed. "Why not name him-"
"Her."
"Excuse me?"
"It's a her!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Can't you tell by that look in her eyes?! IT'S THE FIRST OF THE FEMALE NAMEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone gasped. "Could it really be true!?" Vegeta picked the baby Namekian up. He looked deep into its eyes. "It sure is…" (A/n: hey, they produce asexually anyways!) Vegeta handed the baby back to Piccolo. "Congratulations on your first child."
"Thank you, Vegeta!" Vegeta mumbled something and walked off. "Now a name…"
"Jennifer!" Bulma suggested.
"Cinderella!" Chi-Chi exclaimed.
"Pan!" Videl suggested.
"No, sorry, it doesn't fit a Namek…" Piccolo said.
"Pan!?" Gohan cracked up laughing. "Where'd you get a STUPID name like that!?"
"It's our future daughter's name, Gohan." Videl said.
"Fu-future daughter?" Gohan stuttered. Videl nodded and Gohan fainted.
"Gohan!"
"How about Teale (pronounced teal)?" Bulma asked.
"GREAT!" Piccolo exclaimed. "I love it!"
"But isn't that a kind of green?" Goku asked, looking up from Gohan.
"…" Everyone stared at Goku. He held up his hands:
"What!?"
"Now how can I fix the age gap in-between Teale and Dende…?" Piccolo asked.
"Hm…" Everyone went silent, but Gohan would have to be the MOST silent because he was unconscious. (A/n: …who wrote that?)
"Mr. Piccolo, Mr. Piccolo! You remember the time we were in the hyperbolic time chamber and you blew up the door!?" Goten asked. "Did you see Majin Buu's face!?"
Piccolo gasped. "The hyperbolic time chamber! That's it!" Frieza appeared.
"Now this IS part of my schedule, right-"
"FRIEZAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo yelled right in his ear.
"WHAT!?"
"Oops…" Piccolo shook his head. "Sorry! Now I need you to make me a hyperbolic time chamber so Teale can be at least a FEW years younger than Dende!"
"I know, it's in my schedule." Frieza said.
"…" Everyone looked at each other.
"HE KNOWS *EVERYTHING*!!!!" Vegeta yelled.
"Yep!" Frieza smiled. "I even know what you were DREAMING about last night!"
Vegeta went red and Bulma looked at him. "Vegeta…?"
"I can't control my dreams!" Vegeta ran out of the room.
"So will you make me one?" Piccolo asked. Frieza sighed.
"Well, I kinda HAVE to." Frieza said. "The author's going to make me. Sadly." Frieza glared at the ceiling. (A/n: nyah nyah! :p)
"YAY!!!!!!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Thank you, Frieza !"
"You're welcome, I guess," Frieza said. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my schedule." Frieza disappeared.
"He's gone!" Vegeta walked triumphantly around the corner. Bulma sighed.
"YES, Vegeta. He's gone."
"Gee, that was nice of him," Goku said.
"He wasn't being nice," Vegeta snapped. "Weren't you listening? It was in his schedule, you idiot! And besides, even if it wasn't, the author would MAKE him do it!"
"Oh." Goku paused. "Really?" Vegeta hit himself in the head.
"Moron."
*~*~*
"Piccolo, shut the child up!" Vegeta yelled. "I can't take it anymore!" He clapped his hands over his ears. Teale was wailing in the crib Bulma had brought (a/n: if she's THAT prepared she must have been EXPECTING something… *grins*) and Piccolo was trying to calm her.
"I'm sorry, Vegeta, but she won't calm down!"
"Well turn off that screaming or I will!" Vegeta pointed his hand at the cradle and was charging a warning shot when someone hit him over the head.
"Ow!" He turned around to see Bulma with a rolling pin. She seemed to have grown two feet taller than him and was glaring down at him in a rage.
"VEGETA!!!" Vegeta fell backwards in shock and cowered on the floor. "VEGETA, IF YOU HARM THAT LITTLE GIRL I WILL *PERSONALLY* MAKE SURE THAT THE REST OF YOUR COMPLETELY *USELESS* LIFE IS *COMPLETELY* AND *UTTERLY* MISERABLE, DO I MAKE MYSELF *CLEAR*!!!!????" Vegeta nodded quickly. "GOOD!" Piccolo reached into the crib and pulled out the screaming baby. He began to bounce her and walk her around the room.
"Come on, settle down," Piccolo said. "Please!"
"Maybe she's hungry," Goten said.
"I know I am!" Goku said, putting his hand on Goten's shoulder.
"Me too!" Gohan said.
"But you just ate an hour ago!" Bulma exclaimed. She was back to normal size.
"So?" the three Go's said in unison. Bulma sighed.
"Like father, like sons… Fine, I'll fix you something." She was walking toward the fridge when she tripped over something. "VEGETA!"
"Sorry, so sorry!" Vegeta scrambled to get up and pulled her off the floor.
"What have I told you about sitting in the middle of the floor!?"
"Um…. Nothing," Vegeta said.
"Oh right, that was Trunks." Trunks giggled. "Trunks, tell your FATHER-" at this she glared at her husband, "-what I have told you COUNTLESS times about sitting in the floor." Trunks giggled again. He looked at his father and tried to keep a straight face.
"Mom says you shouldn't sit in the floor because it's dirty and because you could hurt someone." Trunks couldn't take it anymore and fell to the floor in laughter. Vegeta glared at his son.
"So, VEGETA, what have we learned today?" Goku asked with a grin.
"To not make death threats to little children while my wife is around!" He stormed from the room in his anger. He spotted Piccolo, smirked, and poked Teale in the nose. He went to poke her again, but Teale clamped onto his finger with her mouth. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Vegeta started waving her around. "ARE ALL NAMEKS BORN WITH *TEETH*!?"
"Yep," Piccolo nodded. "They only get the REALLY pointy ones once they're a week old." (Vegeta: O_O)
*~*~*
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Goku and Chi-Chi could hear Teale crying from the nursery.
"Goku, go feed the baby…!" Chi-Chi groaned.
"Why me…?" Goku complained.
"Just GO!" Chi-Chi kicked Goku out of the bed:
"Hey!" Goku sat up and looked at his wife. Chi-Chi flipped over. "Oh… fine!"
Goku got up, put on his robe, walked down the hall and up the stairs to where Krillin, Marron, and Eighteen, Yamcha, and Videl's rooms were, then walked into Teale's room: The Nursery. He trudged into the nursery and picked Teale up and started bouncing her. "Come on, honey…"
Goku walked down the stairs still bouncing her and pulled the milk out of the refrigerator. He poured some in a bottle and stuck it in the microwave. Teale continued crying. "Shhhhh!" Goku started bouncing her again and the microwave stopped. He pulled the bottle out, sat down, and started feeding Teale. "Good girl, Teale…" Goku's eyes widened and he held the baby Namekian out. "Teale!? You're not my baby!" Teale started crying. "Oh well… I'm up anyway!" Goku continued feeding her and Teale was happy all over again.
*~*~*
"TEALE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo came running down the stairs. He started opening doors: "Teale! TEALE!"
"Piccolo, what's the matter?" Bulma came out into the hall, tying her robe. Vegeta walked out after her, rubbing his eyes.
"I can't find Teale!" Piccolo exclaimed. "What do I do!?"
"Okay! Okay, calm down!" Bulma said. "Vegeta, where did Trunks used to hide when he was a baby?"
"When he wasn't crying incessantly?" Vegeta asked. "He was normally being fed by his mother." Vegeta grinned and Bulma whacked him with a newspaper she had gotten from out of nowhere. "Ow!"
"Okay, so let's go to the kitchen!" Bulma and Piccolo walked into the kitchen with Vegeta following them, rubbing his head. "Teale? Tea-eale?"
"Come out, come out, wherever you are…!" Piccolo called.
"How come Kakarott gets to sleep?" Vegeta asked, glancing at Goku who was sleeping on the couch.
"Goku!" Bulma shook him gently. "Goku!"
"Mommy…?" Goku opened his eyes to see Bulma. "Oh, hi!"
"Goku, have you seen Teale?" Bulma asked.
"Ummmmm……." Goku thought for a minute. "Yeah, just hang on a sec!" Goku sat up. "Now where did I put her…?"
"Goku, what's that lump in the side of your robe?" Piccolo asked.
"Hm?" Goku looked down at his left side, and just above where his robe tied, there was a lump. He reached in a pulled out-
"Teale!" Piccolo smiled as Bulma took Teale from him.
"Hm… wonder how she got down there…?" Goku scratched his head. Teale started crying as she realized that there was no longer next to the warmth of Goku's body.
"Poor thing!" Bulma handed her to Piccolo. "I bet it was warm there, wasn't it?"
"Are you hungry?" Piccolo asked her. Teale continued crying. "Maybe…"
"I bet she'll be fine if you get Bulma to feed her and put her back in her crib!" Vegeta yelled. "Now I'm going back to bed! It's six in the morning!"
Vegeta stomped out of the room. Bulma and Piccolo just looked at each other and laughed.
Well that was... amusing. (My sister: Teale! Tealey, Tealey, Teale!) -_-' Right... okay, let's just forget the stupid questions this time! In the next (very shot) chapter, this fic ends! Goten and Trunks pull a trick on Vegeta, and then Vegeta and Goku start to write "S.O.S." in the sand! Will anyone see their cries for help before the fic ends? No, because the author won't let them. (Veggie-chan and Goku: -_-') Don't worry, the series will end soon enough. Read the last chapter on FHI: The End of Another Fic
"It's about TIME!" Trunks told his mother as she entered the room. "You've been in there SEVEN hours!" Bulma blushed and Goku couldn't help but giggle.
"What were you and Mr. Vegeta doing, ANYWAY?" Goten asked. Bulma went an even darker shade of red and Goku fell off his stool laughing. (A/n: he just ALWAYS seems to be sitting in the kitchen on a stool, doesn't he? well, it's the most likely place to find him!)
"I'm starving!" Trunks exclaimed. "Let's eat supper already!"
*~*~*
Goten stabbed the steak with his knife, and started cutting it with the fork. He soon realized that nothing was happening. "How come it's not cutting!!!????" Everyone laughed.
*~*~*
"So what were you up to while we weren't on the island, Piccolo?" Yamcha asked, attempting to start a conversation while the women finished washing dishes.
"Well…" Piccolo said. "We found out that the little Namek girl was really a little boy playing a dirty trick."
"WHAT!?" Everyone was shocked at this breaking news.
"Yep…" Piccolo sighed. "Namekians produce asexually, remember?"
"Oh yeah!"
"But where's the fun in that?" Vegeta grinned. "RIGHT, Bulma…?"
Bulma blushed. "Vegeta!" She chucked an empty salt container at him.
"Ow!" Piccolo sniffed.
"It's bad enough without you rubbing it in, Vegeta!"
"Wait… so you mean that you could just…. have a baby right now?" Yamcha asked. Piccolo's eyes went wide and he spit up a little green blob.
"Now look what you've done, Yamcha! I'M GOING TO OVERPOPULATE THE ISLAND!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo screamed. The baby Namekian suddenly started crying "Uh… what do I do?"
"OH!" Chi-Chi picked the baby up. "I bet he just wants a hug from his DADDY!"
Piccolo took the baby from Chi-Chi and it stopped crying immediately. "Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"
"It's so cute!" Eighteen exclaimed.
Piccolo smiled. "Dende!"
"Excuse me?"
"Dende!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Dende used to stop crying EVERY time I picked him up and held him!"
"Oh…." Everyone was silent.
"WHY we'll never know." Vegeta whispered and smirked.
"What was that, Vegeta!?"
"Nothing!" (A/n: Who cares if the fact that Piccolo is having a baby is false!? It's HILARIOUS!) Piccolo looked back at his baby.
"What should I name him?"
"Name him after me!" Goten exclaimed, jumping up. "Name him after ME!"
"No, me!" Trunks said, pushing Goten out of the way.
"Why don't you name him… Kami?" Krillin suggested.
"Yeah!" Goku nodded. "It's only nice!"
"Oh….. FINE!" Piccolo yelled.
"NO, that's a weird name!" Bulma exclaimed. "Why not name him-"
"Her."
"Excuse me?"
"It's a her!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Can't you tell by that look in her eyes?! IT'S THE FIRST OF THE FEMALE NAMEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone gasped. "Could it really be true!?" Vegeta picked the baby Namekian up. He looked deep into its eyes. "It sure is…" (A/n: hey, they produce asexually anyways!) Vegeta handed the baby back to Piccolo. "Congratulations on your first child."
"Thank you, Vegeta!" Vegeta mumbled something and walked off. "Now a name…"
"Jennifer!" Bulma suggested.
"Cinderella!" Chi-Chi exclaimed.
"Pan!" Videl suggested.
"No, sorry, it doesn't fit a Namek…" Piccolo said.
"Pan!?" Gohan cracked up laughing. "Where'd you get a STUPID name like that!?"
"It's our future daughter's name, Gohan." Videl said.
"Fu-future daughter?" Gohan stuttered. Videl nodded and Gohan fainted.
"Gohan!"
"How about Teale (pronounced teal)?" Bulma asked.
"GREAT!" Piccolo exclaimed. "I love it!"
"But isn't that a kind of green?" Goku asked, looking up from Gohan.
"…" Everyone stared at Goku. He held up his hands:
"What!?"
"Now how can I fix the age gap in-between Teale and Dende…?" Piccolo asked.
"Hm…" Everyone went silent, but Gohan would have to be the MOST silent because he was unconscious. (A/n: …who wrote that?)
"Mr. Piccolo, Mr. Piccolo! You remember the time we were in the hyperbolic time chamber and you blew up the door!?" Goten asked. "Did you see Majin Buu's face!?"
Piccolo gasped. "The hyperbolic time chamber! That's it!" Frieza appeared.
"Now this IS part of my schedule, right-"
"FRIEZAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo yelled right in his ear.
"WHAT!?"
"Oops…" Piccolo shook his head. "Sorry! Now I need you to make me a hyperbolic time chamber so Teale can be at least a FEW years younger than Dende!"
"I know, it's in my schedule." Frieza said.
"…" Everyone looked at each other.
"HE KNOWS *EVERYTHING*!!!!" Vegeta yelled.
"Yep!" Frieza smiled. "I even know what you were DREAMING about last night!"
Vegeta went red and Bulma looked at him. "Vegeta…?"
"I can't control my dreams!" Vegeta ran out of the room.
"So will you make me one?" Piccolo asked. Frieza sighed.
"Well, I kinda HAVE to." Frieza said. "The author's going to make me. Sadly." Frieza glared at the ceiling. (A/n: nyah nyah! :p)
"YAY!!!!!!" Piccolo exclaimed. "Thank you, Frieza !"
"You're welcome, I guess," Frieza said. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my schedule." Frieza disappeared.
"He's gone!" Vegeta walked triumphantly around the corner. Bulma sighed.
"YES, Vegeta. He's gone."
"Gee, that was nice of him," Goku said.
"He wasn't being nice," Vegeta snapped. "Weren't you listening? It was in his schedule, you idiot! And besides, even if it wasn't, the author would MAKE him do it!"
"Oh." Goku paused. "Really?" Vegeta hit himself in the head.
"Moron."
*~*~*
"Piccolo, shut the child up!" Vegeta yelled. "I can't take it anymore!" He clapped his hands over his ears. Teale was wailing in the crib Bulma had brought (a/n: if she's THAT prepared she must have been EXPECTING something… *grins*) and Piccolo was trying to calm her.
"I'm sorry, Vegeta, but she won't calm down!"
"Well turn off that screaming or I will!" Vegeta pointed his hand at the cradle and was charging a warning shot when someone hit him over the head.
"Ow!" He turned around to see Bulma with a rolling pin. She seemed to have grown two feet taller than him and was glaring down at him in a rage.
"VEGETA!!!" Vegeta fell backwards in shock and cowered on the floor. "VEGETA, IF YOU HARM THAT LITTLE GIRL I WILL *PERSONALLY* MAKE SURE THAT THE REST OF YOUR COMPLETELY *USELESS* LIFE IS *COMPLETELY* AND *UTTERLY* MISERABLE, DO I MAKE MYSELF *CLEAR*!!!!????" Vegeta nodded quickly. "GOOD!" Piccolo reached into the crib and pulled out the screaming baby. He began to bounce her and walk her around the room.
"Come on, settle down," Piccolo said. "Please!"
"Maybe she's hungry," Goten said.
"I know I am!" Goku said, putting his hand on Goten's shoulder.
"Me too!" Gohan said.
"But you just ate an hour ago!" Bulma exclaimed. She was back to normal size.
"So?" the three Go's said in unison. Bulma sighed.
"Like father, like sons… Fine, I'll fix you something." She was walking toward the fridge when she tripped over something. "VEGETA!"
"Sorry, so sorry!" Vegeta scrambled to get up and pulled her off the floor.
"What have I told you about sitting in the middle of the floor!?"
"Um…. Nothing," Vegeta said.
"Oh right, that was Trunks." Trunks giggled. "Trunks, tell your FATHER-" at this she glared at her husband, "-what I have told you COUNTLESS times about sitting in the floor." Trunks giggled again. He looked at his father and tried to keep a straight face.
"Mom says you shouldn't sit in the floor because it's dirty and because you could hurt someone." Trunks couldn't take it anymore and fell to the floor in laughter. Vegeta glared at his son.
"So, VEGETA, what have we learned today?" Goku asked with a grin.
"To not make death threats to little children while my wife is around!" He stormed from the room in his anger. He spotted Piccolo, smirked, and poked Teale in the nose. He went to poke her again, but Teale clamped onto his finger with her mouth. "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Vegeta started waving her around. "ARE ALL NAMEKS BORN WITH *TEETH*!?"
"Yep," Piccolo nodded. "They only get the REALLY pointy ones once they're a week old." (Vegeta: O_O)
*~*~*
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Goku and Chi-Chi could hear Teale crying from the nursery.
"Goku, go feed the baby…!" Chi-Chi groaned.
"Why me…?" Goku complained.
"Just GO!" Chi-Chi kicked Goku out of the bed:
"Hey!" Goku sat up and looked at his wife. Chi-Chi flipped over. "Oh… fine!"
Goku got up, put on his robe, walked down the hall and up the stairs to where Krillin, Marron, and Eighteen, Yamcha, and Videl's rooms were, then walked into Teale's room: The Nursery. He trudged into the nursery and picked Teale up and started bouncing her. "Come on, honey…"
Goku walked down the stairs still bouncing her and pulled the milk out of the refrigerator. He poured some in a bottle and stuck it in the microwave. Teale continued crying. "Shhhhh!" Goku started bouncing her again and the microwave stopped. He pulled the bottle out, sat down, and started feeding Teale. "Good girl, Teale…" Goku's eyes widened and he held the baby Namekian out. "Teale!? You're not my baby!" Teale started crying. "Oh well… I'm up anyway!" Goku continued feeding her and Teale was happy all over again.
*~*~*
"TEALE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Piccolo came running down the stairs. He started opening doors: "Teale! TEALE!"
"Piccolo, what's the matter?" Bulma came out into the hall, tying her robe. Vegeta walked out after her, rubbing his eyes.
"I can't find Teale!" Piccolo exclaimed. "What do I do!?"
"Okay! Okay, calm down!" Bulma said. "Vegeta, where did Trunks used to hide when he was a baby?"
"When he wasn't crying incessantly?" Vegeta asked. "He was normally being fed by his mother." Vegeta grinned and Bulma whacked him with a newspaper she had gotten from out of nowhere. "Ow!"
"Okay, so let's go to the kitchen!" Bulma and Piccolo walked into the kitchen with Vegeta following them, rubbing his head. "Teale? Tea-eale?"
"Come out, come out, wherever you are…!" Piccolo called.
"How come Kakarott gets to sleep?" Vegeta asked, glancing at Goku who was sleeping on the couch.
"Goku!" Bulma shook him gently. "Goku!"
"Mommy…?" Goku opened his eyes to see Bulma. "Oh, hi!"
"Goku, have you seen Teale?" Bulma asked.
"Ummmmm……." Goku thought for a minute. "Yeah, just hang on a sec!" Goku sat up. "Now where did I put her…?"
"Goku, what's that lump in the side of your robe?" Piccolo asked.
"Hm?" Goku looked down at his left side, and just above where his robe tied, there was a lump. He reached in a pulled out-
"Teale!" Piccolo smiled as Bulma took Teale from him.
"Hm… wonder how she got down there…?" Goku scratched his head. Teale started crying as she realized that there was no longer next to the warmth of Goku's body.
"Poor thing!" Bulma handed her to Piccolo. "I bet it was warm there, wasn't it?"
"Are you hungry?" Piccolo asked her. Teale continued crying. "Maybe…"
"I bet she'll be fine if you get Bulma to feed her and put her back in her crib!" Vegeta yelled. "Now I'm going back to bed! It's six in the morning!"
Vegeta stomped out of the room. Bulma and Piccolo just looked at each other and laughed.
Well that was... amusing. (My sister: Teale! Tealey, Tealey, Teale!) -_-' Right... okay, let's just forget the stupid questions this time! In the next (very shot) chapter, this fic ends! Goten and Trunks pull a trick on Vegeta, and then Vegeta and Goku start to write "S.O.S." in the sand! Will anyone see their cries for help before the fic ends? No, because the author won't let them. (Veggie-chan and Goku: -_-') Don't worry, the series will end soon enough. Read the last chapter on FHI: The End of Another Fic