Author's note: Woooooooow! Thank you so so so so so much for all the
reviews. I REALLY LOVE MY READERS!!!! ( ( ( Death to all bad Mary Sues!
***
Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table…
"Maybe we could turn the doors of the Great Hall into a portkey into the underworld or something." Ron said, taking a rather large bite of his chicken leg.
"And what, make it activate once diner has started?" Harry looked up from his mashed potato.
"Don't be stupid, what if someone's late?" Hermione replied crossly.
Ron shrugged. "The Slytherins are late a lot of the time, and we could always do with a few less of them. What more could you ask for in a plan- Get rid of new Mary Sues and Slytherins in one shot."
"You've been late plenty of times too you know." Hermione said matter of factly.
Harry raised an eyebrow. "We all have, maybe we should come up with something else."
"Fine. What other brilliant plans do we have?" Ron asked, giving Hermione a meaningful look.
"I don't know, let me go look in Hogwarts, A History to see of anything like this has ever happened before." Hermione started to leave the hall.
"Come on." Harry motioned to Ron, and the three moved out of the Great Hall.
Back at the Slytherin table…
"So do you think we could stick a bunch of Death Eaters on them?" Crabble said as he heaped a fourth helping of potatoes onto his plate.
"Maybe we could attack them, it might be fun." Goyle replied.
"Hey Draco, do you think you could ask you father about getting some Death Eaters to attack the Mary Sues?" Crabble halfway yelled at the blonde Slytherin, extremely proud of coming up with what he seemed to believe was a good way to be rid of the horrid Mary Sues.
"I don't think we'll be able to use usual means to get rid of them." Draco crossed his arms and glared at the offending table.
"No Death Eaters?" Goyle looked disappointed.
"No Death Eaters." Malfoy sighed.
"Why not?"
"Well, Voldie has several spies over there, and a couple of daughters as well. Try to convince my father as I might, I can't get him to tell the Dark Lord that these Mary Sues who are seemingly on our side are actually an evil that is beyond even him." Draco explained.
" So no Death Eaters?"
"NO DEATH EATERS!!" Draco winced as his yell echoed through the hall. A pale blush appeared on his face out if frustration.
"What about all the sisters, and half sisters, and cousins and stuff you have over there?" A seventh year that was sitting a few seats away asked.
"Screw them. I'm the only Malfoy anyone needs."
"What about the 20 or so girlfriends?" The same boy asked.
"Well maybe we can manage to keep a few of those."
Once again to the Mary Sues *shudder*
"So where exactly is our common room?" Bee asked, ogling as the castle as the Mary Sues left the hall.
"You mean you don't know?" Honey was genuinely surprised.
"Well I've never been here before, and-"
"Don't you just instinctively know everything about the castle?" Honey was giving Bee a very strange look.
"Maybe she doesn't really belong in Mary Sue." Dianna sneered slightly.
"The Sorting Hat says I do, but it was mean to me."
They came to a halt before a doorway guarded by four suits of armor.
"We're right next to Gryffindor Tower." Melodie chirped from behind the three girls.
"I thought you were dead…" Bee took a step back.
"I was, but I mysteriously came back." Melodie skipped through the door, after singing the password to the armor (One Singular Sensation).
"That's the fifth time she's done that." Another older blonde girl said following Melodie in.
The other three followed her into what would have been a glamorous common room, were it not decorated in pastel pink and barracuda teal.
"Yo, Mary Sue-" A girl with a dark brown ponytail and violet eyes called out to the blonde witch.
"Oh hello Jessie dear, I thought you were going back to America today." Mary said after a quick air kiss.
"Nope, I'm transferring to Hogwarts to I can finish my last two years here. Besides, I just found out the greatest thing- Harry is in love with me!" Jessie grinned ecstatically.
Mary however, did not look happy at all.
"But Harry is in move with ME." Her eyes flashed dangerously.
"No way, Harry and I are getting married after seventh year. I've already booked the Backstreet Boys to play at our wedding." A fourth year girl with light brown hair and warm brown eyes happily gushed.
"Rebecca Lupin, I do not believe you. Harry is in love with ME- it's the biggest scandal in the school!" Dianna Malfoy intervened.
A crown of about 15 girls was now arguing over who Harry REALLY loved, as it simply HAD to be them.
The rest of the house sat around and witched with intense interest.
As hexes started to fly, bets were being taken as to who would get Harry in the end.
"I say the blonde Mary Sue in seventh year is going to win." Honey announced.
A jet of red sparks came flying towards the group of spectators.
"Hey watch it, will you? We kept the hexing to a minimum when we had to decide who would have full rights as Dumbledore's granddaughter." A Girl with long auburn curls and sparkling blue eyes complained.
"Shut up Alyssa, THIS is important" a voice from within the commotion yelled.
Alyssa shrugged. "I bet 50 galleons on Rebecca."
"Do you really think so?" A first year, Chavie, with black hair and bottomless black eyes seemed confused at Alyssa's reasoning.
"Definetly. She's quiet, but that means she hasn't bothered Harry as much as the rest of them have. Besides, she's actually cute where the others are a bit too much for him. She's more on his level of you know what I mean. And she's the only one who has a class with him." The witch stated matter of factly.
"That may be, but I can think of one definite downfall that might make Harry think twice." Yet another replica of the ideal Mary Sue, who happened to be in sixth year said.
"What's that?" Chavie asked.
"She's Reamus Lupin's daughter." Mary Sue number 37 said
"We all know that. She has 13 half sisters." Alyssa was starting to get annoyed.
"Isn't tonight a full moon?" Chavie seemed slightly concerned.
"The other 12 are locked in the dungeons somewhere." Honey said.
Chevie's eyes widened. "Rebecca isn't…"
"She's gonna looooooose." Mary 37 grinned. "50 galleons for me."
"You never took the bet!" Alyssa snapped.
Mary 37 pouted. "I tried."
Suddenly, Rebecca Lupin stepped out of the giant catfight, and looked very frightened.
"Uh…. I have to go…" And with that, she positively fled from the common room.
The fight however was going nowhere, and seemed to settle down to a bunch if hissed whispers. The girls turned around, and with determined expressions of their faces yelled:
TO THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM!!
NEXT: Harry had to deal with his 15 self proclaimed Mary Sue girlfriends, and had to choose… if he doesn't kill them all first…
***
Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table…
"Maybe we could turn the doors of the Great Hall into a portkey into the underworld or something." Ron said, taking a rather large bite of his chicken leg.
"And what, make it activate once diner has started?" Harry looked up from his mashed potato.
"Don't be stupid, what if someone's late?" Hermione replied crossly.
Ron shrugged. "The Slytherins are late a lot of the time, and we could always do with a few less of them. What more could you ask for in a plan- Get rid of new Mary Sues and Slytherins in one shot."
"You've been late plenty of times too you know." Hermione said matter of factly.
Harry raised an eyebrow. "We all have, maybe we should come up with something else."
"Fine. What other brilliant plans do we have?" Ron asked, giving Hermione a meaningful look.
"I don't know, let me go look in Hogwarts, A History to see of anything like this has ever happened before." Hermione started to leave the hall.
"Come on." Harry motioned to Ron, and the three moved out of the Great Hall.
Back at the Slytherin table…
"So do you think we could stick a bunch of Death Eaters on them?" Crabble said as he heaped a fourth helping of potatoes onto his plate.
"Maybe we could attack them, it might be fun." Goyle replied.
"Hey Draco, do you think you could ask you father about getting some Death Eaters to attack the Mary Sues?" Crabble halfway yelled at the blonde Slytherin, extremely proud of coming up with what he seemed to believe was a good way to be rid of the horrid Mary Sues.
"I don't think we'll be able to use usual means to get rid of them." Draco crossed his arms and glared at the offending table.
"No Death Eaters?" Goyle looked disappointed.
"No Death Eaters." Malfoy sighed.
"Why not?"
"Well, Voldie has several spies over there, and a couple of daughters as well. Try to convince my father as I might, I can't get him to tell the Dark Lord that these Mary Sues who are seemingly on our side are actually an evil that is beyond even him." Draco explained.
" So no Death Eaters?"
"NO DEATH EATERS!!" Draco winced as his yell echoed through the hall. A pale blush appeared on his face out if frustration.
"What about all the sisters, and half sisters, and cousins and stuff you have over there?" A seventh year that was sitting a few seats away asked.
"Screw them. I'm the only Malfoy anyone needs."
"What about the 20 or so girlfriends?" The same boy asked.
"Well maybe we can manage to keep a few of those."
Once again to the Mary Sues *shudder*
"So where exactly is our common room?" Bee asked, ogling as the castle as the Mary Sues left the hall.
"You mean you don't know?" Honey was genuinely surprised.
"Well I've never been here before, and-"
"Don't you just instinctively know everything about the castle?" Honey was giving Bee a very strange look.
"Maybe she doesn't really belong in Mary Sue." Dianna sneered slightly.
"The Sorting Hat says I do, but it was mean to me."
They came to a halt before a doorway guarded by four suits of armor.
"We're right next to Gryffindor Tower." Melodie chirped from behind the three girls.
"I thought you were dead…" Bee took a step back.
"I was, but I mysteriously came back." Melodie skipped through the door, after singing the password to the armor (One Singular Sensation).
"That's the fifth time she's done that." Another older blonde girl said following Melodie in.
The other three followed her into what would have been a glamorous common room, were it not decorated in pastel pink and barracuda teal.
"Yo, Mary Sue-" A girl with a dark brown ponytail and violet eyes called out to the blonde witch.
"Oh hello Jessie dear, I thought you were going back to America today." Mary said after a quick air kiss.
"Nope, I'm transferring to Hogwarts to I can finish my last two years here. Besides, I just found out the greatest thing- Harry is in love with me!" Jessie grinned ecstatically.
Mary however, did not look happy at all.
"But Harry is in move with ME." Her eyes flashed dangerously.
"No way, Harry and I are getting married after seventh year. I've already booked the Backstreet Boys to play at our wedding." A fourth year girl with light brown hair and warm brown eyes happily gushed.
"Rebecca Lupin, I do not believe you. Harry is in love with ME- it's the biggest scandal in the school!" Dianna Malfoy intervened.
A crown of about 15 girls was now arguing over who Harry REALLY loved, as it simply HAD to be them.
The rest of the house sat around and witched with intense interest.
As hexes started to fly, bets were being taken as to who would get Harry in the end.
"I say the blonde Mary Sue in seventh year is going to win." Honey announced.
A jet of red sparks came flying towards the group of spectators.
"Hey watch it, will you? We kept the hexing to a minimum when we had to decide who would have full rights as Dumbledore's granddaughter." A Girl with long auburn curls and sparkling blue eyes complained.
"Shut up Alyssa, THIS is important" a voice from within the commotion yelled.
Alyssa shrugged. "I bet 50 galleons on Rebecca."
"Do you really think so?" A first year, Chavie, with black hair and bottomless black eyes seemed confused at Alyssa's reasoning.
"Definetly. She's quiet, but that means she hasn't bothered Harry as much as the rest of them have. Besides, she's actually cute where the others are a bit too much for him. She's more on his level of you know what I mean. And she's the only one who has a class with him." The witch stated matter of factly.
"That may be, but I can think of one definite downfall that might make Harry think twice." Yet another replica of the ideal Mary Sue, who happened to be in sixth year said.
"What's that?" Chavie asked.
"She's Reamus Lupin's daughter." Mary Sue number 37 said
"We all know that. She has 13 half sisters." Alyssa was starting to get annoyed.
"Isn't tonight a full moon?" Chavie seemed slightly concerned.
"The other 12 are locked in the dungeons somewhere." Honey said.
Chevie's eyes widened. "Rebecca isn't…"
"She's gonna looooooose." Mary 37 grinned. "50 galleons for me."
"You never took the bet!" Alyssa snapped.
Mary 37 pouted. "I tried."
Suddenly, Rebecca Lupin stepped out of the giant catfight, and looked very frightened.
"Uh…. I have to go…" And with that, she positively fled from the common room.
The fight however was going nowhere, and seemed to settle down to a bunch if hissed whispers. The girls turned around, and with determined expressions of their faces yelled:
TO THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM!!
NEXT: Harry had to deal with his 15 self proclaimed Mary Sue girlfriends, and had to choose… if he doesn't kill them all first…