Vengeance Pig

Chapters 5-10

A little blonde girl flew down the stairs with a pink pig bobbing behind her. The two dark haired ones were now wrestling on the floor while the red head had run to the corner in fear. And suddenly, it was all too much for the already stressed vampire.

"Enough!"

His deep voice echoed through the house. They all froze, eyes wide as saucers. Willow began to sniffle as her tears started again. The blonde, who just had to be Buffy, gave him a dirty look with her arms crossed. The pig still dangled from her little hand. "And who are you, mister? If my mommy finds you here, she'll spank you!"

"Pushy little thing, as always."

Before she could respond, the dark haired boy grabbed the pig and ran off into the kitchen. "HEY!" She took off after him.

"He stole Mista Gordo." The dark haired girl giggled as she approached Spike. "I'm glad. She always gets da better toys. Dumb sister."

A huge smile came to his face as he realized. "Dawn?" She smiled back. "Dawnie? Is that you?" She nodded her little head.

"Dat's me. What your name? You're cute."

Spike couldn't help himself. A giggle bubbled up and out. "Thanks, Bit." He mussed her hair. "I'm Spike."

Just then, Buffy and Xander emerged from the kitchen. Buffy had Mr. Gordo. Xander had a long face. "What kind of name is Spike? Dat's no name for a person. Dat's a dog name." Xander asked in that annoying way only a child can master.

Spike eyed him with a bit of contempt. Darn whelp. Always sticking his nose in where Spike didn't want it. "Alright. You can call me William, then. How's that, Harris?"

Xander's face suddenly lightened as he started to laugh and prance around the room.

"Wilum is a doggy! Wilum is a doggy!"

After three times around the couch, Xander somehow tripped over Spike's leg. The boy plummeted to the ground, then stared up at Spike with a dirty look. Spike just whistled and looked at the ceiling.

***********

"You have vewy big boobies."

Liam looked at Cordelia's chest and smiled laviciously. The two women sat stunned.

"Did he just…" Fred uttered.

"Yes. He did." Cordelia suddenly lost her patience. She was just about to exact some punishment on the errant child when a voice from the stairway grabbed her attention.

"Yo! What's with the brat?"

"We don't know, Gunn. I was hoping you would have some explanation." Fred exclaimed.

Gunn glared at the tyke who was now standing on the couch, attempting to look down Cordelia's shirt. "Little shit sure does look like Angel." The three adults turned to look at him again. Noting his position and choice of eye-candy, Cordelia quickly pulled her top closed while making an airy gasp. "Did the boss man go and get horizontal with another old girlfriend of his?"

Liam jumped up and down on the furniture as his now-guardians silently contemplated him.

"Well, that is Angel's shirt he's wearing." Fred noted.

"So…we think he's Angel's kid 'cuz he's got the same taste in clothes?"

Cordelia raised her eyebrows, "And hair."

************

"Wanna hold Mr. Gordo, Wilum?" Spike's heart warmed instantly at the sight of his slayer offering him her dearest toy. But when he reached for it, Buffy ran away, yelling, "Too bad. Too bad! My piggy!"

Spike started to mutter something about ungrateful little brats, but stopped at the sight of Buffy 'listening' to Mr. Gordo. She tilted her little head, then spoke to the animal. "I was not wude. You're my piggy!"

*************

"But, Girl. I like Yellow too. You have to learn to share. You learned this years ago."

"No share. My piggy." She hugged him tight to her belly.

Dawn clumsily ran to her sister. "You're mean. Give Piggy to Wilum." The girl stomped up to Buffy and crossed her arms over her chest.

With a huff, Buffy slowly relinquished Mr. Gordo to Spike. The pig gave a sigh of relief. If Yellow had him, then perhaps he could ask for help with the Baby Buffy problem. Spike reached out to the offered stuffed animal…Buffy offered closer…Spike reached even closer…then…

Xander grabbed the pig, running off as fast as his tiny legs could carry him.

************

"Where are your parents, and what have you done here? Mr. Giles is sure to be quite cross with you, young man. That was his…"

"Mr. Giles." The child giggled at hearing his family name.

************

Three children ran around the previously child-free living room, each screaming as loud as humanly possible, with Mr. Gordo flopping around behind Xander. The remaining kid in the corner started to cry. "I gotta go potty." Spike slowly turned his head toward Willow. "I just went potty." She cried harder. Spike sat hard on the floor, buried his head in his hands and moaned.

************

"Y-Y-Y-e-l-l-l-o-w-w-w-! H-h-h-h-e-l-l-l-p!!" Ouch! Oink!

************

Somewhere in the jungle:

"Lieutenant! Why is there a child in your tent?"

"I don't know, sir. He was here when we got back from maneuvers."

The officer looked down at the boy in disgust. "Why is he playing with mud?"

"Um, that's not mud, sir."

************

"Ooo, they make me so mad." Anya turned the corner onto Revello Drive. "Why do I always have to be involved in their…stuff?" She walked quickly, arms swinging furiously. "I mean, I'm my own person, right?" Her stride did not slow. "Or, not. Darn Buffy." Her breathing was a bit rushed. "She never wanted to be such close friends before. What am I? A charity case?" The woman flipped her hair out of her eyes. "'Come over for video night,' she says." She stood at the entrance. "Humph!"

************

Suddenly fed up with the ruckus, a very angry vampire, complete with game face, launched himself at the little boy with a loud roar. There was complete and utter silence…along with some large eyes. Spike tore Mr. Gordo from Xander's grasp, then looked in the children's eyes one by one. "That is enough! You will each sit down, and be quiet. You hear me?" Willow and Dawn nodded their heads slowly while the other two looked on in defiance. "There will be no more running. There will be no more yelling. There will be no more peeing on the sodding floor!"

Willow began to cry yet again.

"You have three very small humans making a mess and that one smells of urine." Spike's head turned to the front door to see it swinging open. Anya stood in the doorway, scrunching up her nose and motioning toward Willow.

"Anya!" He rejoiced at the sight of another adult, and a woman, no less. "You have to help me."

Dawn quickly stole Mr. Gordo from Spike, who paid no mind, and retreated to the couch.

"Is this your new choice of gainful employment? Babysitting? Because, while I applaud your entrance into the fun and exciting world of capitalism, I must say that you are not particularly fit for this job." She leaned toward him and whispered, "The insanity, you know." She twirled her finger while pointing at her head.

Spike rolled his eyes and sighed. "These aren't children, you stupid bint. Well…they are…but…"

Anya backed off a bit, her expression clearly stating, 'Crazy man. Beware!'

"Oh, for God's sake, Anya. It's a spell. These are the bloody Scoobies!" Anya ceased her backward retreat, ready to believe. She examined the group slowly. There was a blonde one with a scowl on her face. Next to her sat a brown haired boy picking his nose and eating the contents. On the couch was a brown haired girl kissing a pink pig. Lastly, in the corner, a red head sulked and smelled of urine.

Realization crept to her face. It was Buffy, Xander, Dawn and Willow. It was amazing. It was a spell. It was…hilarious!

She approached Xander and bent down to his small form. "Well, hello there, little man."

He grinned a huge grin that reached his ears.

"Do you want some candy?" Xander's eyes grew. Spike wondered what Anya was up to.

"No! I have an idea. How about we go get some ice cream, and visit the zoo? Would you like that?" The boy clapped his hands wildly and hopped up and down.

The other children whined a chorus of "me too". Anya maintained her gentle smile. "No, no. This will be Xander's special day." They all groaned. Willow cried.

"Now, give me your hand." He did so with glee. Xander looked back at his friends to stick his tongue out and clench his eyes tightly.

A beautiful woman and an ecstatic boy walked hand in hand toward the front door, leaving behind them four very confused faces.

Just as they reached the threshold, she stopped. "Oh, my!" She put her hands up to her mouth. "I forgot something very important!"

Xander looked up at her with a worried face.

"I don't want to make you happy or give you a special day."

His face screwed up in preparation for a full-fledged tantrum. "Oh, does that just break your little heart? I'm so sorry child-sized Xander. It's for your own good."

Spike smirked at the former demon. "What was that all about, then?"

She grinned evilly. "I may not be a 'Justice Demon' any longer, but I still know Vengeance."

Two adults laughed while a child cried in the night.

***********

The English woman angrily snatched up the strange child. "If you won't tell me who you are, then…"

Rupert did not bother to struggle. He simply dusted her with a hand full of ingredients, mumbled a few Latin words, then voila!

"…we're going to see…r-r-ribbet. Ribbet." Rupert regarded the frog with pride, then laughed himself silly.

*********

Fred ran down the stairs. "He's not anywhere upstairs. I don't know where he could be. Did he say anything to you about going out, Gunn?"

"What? Am I the vamp's keeper?"

"Um, guys?" A stunned Cordelia indicated for the others to look at little Liam. The boy had shed his oversized pants and was currently inspecting his bitty manhood…er…boyhood quite closely.

Gunn squinted and said, "You better hope that gets bigger, dawg."

*********

"Mista Gordo has something to tell you, Wilum," Dawn announced from her spot on the sofa.

He smiled despite himself. "And what's that, now, platelet?"

Dawn's face swelled with pride. She got to tell the cute man Mr. Gordo's secret. Not Buffy. Yay! She took a deep breath with much bravado. "He says dat dis is a spell."

Anya and Spike looked at each other, both wondering the same things. How could this child know that there is a spell in effect? Could she really be talking to the stuffed animal?

"Wait. Dere's more." Dawn listened to the pig a bit longer, then continued. "He says Bunnyanka twicked him into making a wish, and now all of Girl's fwends are wittle." Dawn looked at Spike and laughed. "Hee, hee. We're wittle."

Anya felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Oh, no."

"Who the hell is Bunnyanka? What the bloody hell is going on here?"

Anya did not even seem to hear him. Her face paled as she began to speak. "I've always heard the rumors. Never paid them much mind. I can't believe they're actually true."

Spike waved his hand in front of her frozen face. "Anya! What are you yammering on about?"

She blinked, then focused on his face. "Bunnyanka. The stuffed animal bunny." He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "Don't you understand? She's the reason I fear them. Those terrifying rabbits with their good eyesight and long ears and," Anya shuddered, "wiggling noses."

"Anya…"

"It's a Vengeance Demon. It's a child's toy possessed with the spirit of a Vengeance Demon. Bunnyanka. She was the most feared of us all. The mere mention of her name would make the meanest demon cry. Once day she went too far. She cursed D'Hoffryn. He obviously did not appreciate one of his demons betraying him. So, he doomed her to spend eternity in a child's toy. She was never supposed to be able to exact vengeance again. But she found a way." Anya snapped out of her fear and addressed the fluff of pink. "Mr. Gordo? Where is she now?"

Dawn paid close attention to him. "He says she's in the small woom with walls."

"Where is that?"

Dawn shrugged her shoulders. "Where is that, Mista Gordo?" After waiting for an answer, she continued. "I tink he means in Buffy's woom."

"What?! Why would he be in her uterus?" Anya stared at the blonde's belly in awe and disgust. Spike just groaned.

"In her bloody room, you cow!"

She mouthed a silent "Oh!", then followed him upstairs.

************

"Hey! Where are dey going?!" Xander paused his picking activities to wonder about the adults going upstairs. "Dis isn't der house."

"Dey're going to fix the spell," Dawn announced with pride.

"I can spell!" Little Willow brightened a little. "Es, Pee, Ee, Ell, Ell. Dat spells spell!"

Xander broke into giggles. "Pee! You said pee!"

***********

"Anya…"

"What?"

"I may be dead, but I do still feel pain."

"Oh. Sorry."

Anya released the handful of skin she had absentmindedly grabbed when they got closer to Buffy's room.

They continued up the stairs painfully slowly due to Anya's continued grasp on Spike's shirt. "I don't get it. Why would a stuffed animal need a vengeance spell?"

Spike shrugged.

"And how did Bunnyanka get in Buffy's house? That girl is a demon magnet."

Spike stopped on a dime and turned to look her in the eyes. "Don't ever say that. Never. The last time someone said things like that, I ended up kissing Bu…" He thought for a second. "Never mind. Continue," he ordered with a wave of his hand.

"I don't think I can do this, Spike. I mean, it's Bunnyanka. I…I don't…"

Spike stopped and took her hands in his. "Anya. You're a tough lady. If getting rid of these infants means facing a stuffed animal bunny, I think we can do it."

Her face displayed twelve different expressions of worry. "But…"

Spike placed on finger on her lips. "Together. Okay? Let's kick this thing's ass." He giggled a bit internally, but hid it from Anya's view.

With a small smile from Anya, they were on their way up the stairs once again.

***********

"You smell!" Buffy screwed up her face once she got close enough to Willow to smell her.

The girl started to cry again until Buffy grabbed her hand. "Come on. Wet's get you cweaned up."

Buffy and Willow ascended the stairs, hand in hand, with two others following them out of curiosity.

***********

"Well. Here it is. Buffy's room. Are you ready?"

"Ready."

Spike kicked the door open dramatically and bellowed, "Oh, Bunnyanka! Daddy's home!"

***********

"Daddy's home?"

"No, Dawn. Dat's Wilum. He's cwazy. Gimme dat towel."

***********

"Are you sure it's a good idea to piss her off? I mean, she is the most powerful Vengeance Demon ever to live." She looked like she was about to cry.

"It's a stuffed bunny, Anya," he said with a fair amount of condescension in his voice.

Suddenly, the closet door flew off its hinges, and standing before them was a small, green, veiny rabbit. "You underestimate me, vampire."

***********

"Where's your mommy, Liam?"

"Mommy? Is Mommy here? I want my mommy!" The tyke began to cry in earnest as he grasped onto the bear for dear life.

***********

Bunnyanka's face dripped green goo and her mouth spit black as she spoke to our heroes. "Anyanka. How good to see you, dear. How's the vengeance gig treating you? Well, I hope."

Anya, hiding partially behind Spike, pointed at her and shouted. "Don't think you can fool me, you…you…bunny! You're up to your old tricks, and we're going to stop you!"

Spike turned his head to look at her. "Boy, you're real threatening from back there." She shot him a dirty look.

"You? Stop me? I don't think so. But thanks for the laugh. Really. I could always count on you for the entertainment." She dropped the levity and became serious. "Now, out of my way!" Bunnyanka waved her paw to the side, causing Spike and Anya to fly across the room. They hit the wall with a loud thud, then slid down and onto the floor. "With the slayer…indisposed…" she grinned an evil grin, showing a set of blackened, pointed teeth, "I can finally get rid of her. Damn goody-two-shoes."

Spike started to remove Anya from on top of him, but found himself suddenly paralyzed. "Uh, uh. None of that, now, vampire. You get to sit still and watch your little slayer die." The demon turned and headed out the door. "It'll be like taking candy from a baby." Spike could not see her from his vantage point, but he did hear the maniacal laugh.

**********

"Dawn, gimme another shirt." There was no answer. "Dawn!" A quick survey revealed Xander, staring intently at a naked Willow, but no Dawn. "Dumb sister. She never hewps."

**********

"Think again, Bunnyanka!"

A little voice interrupted the demon's laugh. Before the ugly demon stood a small child with Mr. Gordo hanging from her hand.

"You think you're in a position to threaten me, pig?"

"Well, not now, no." Dawn brought Mr. Gordo to her ear, then put him down on the ground. "But now, you have to face me, Bunnyanka. You tricked me. You made me hurt Girl. You made me hurt her friends. You will pay for that."

She smiled. "Got a little taste of vengeance, and now you like it, eh? That's how it starts, you know. Before you know it, you'll be prime material for vengeance work."

Mr. Gordo put his hooves up to his ears and shut his eyes tightly. "No! You're wrong. I'll never join you. I'll never go to the dark side!"

Bunnyanka shrugged her shoulders. "Eh. Suit yourself, then." At her quiet resignation, Gordo opened his eyes. Immediately, he wished he didn't as the sight of the disgusting stuffed animal charging at him frightened him beyond belief. His first impulse was to run and hide. But no. He was the only thing that stood between his family and death. So, the brave little pig stood his ground.

From in front of him, he heard Yellow yelling. "Bunnyanka! Come fight me! Leave the girl out of this. You cowardly rabbit, you!"

From behind, he heard Girl screaming. "Dawn! Get back in here! I need a shirt and pants for Willow!"

From just next to him, he felt Brown Fur. "Dat's an ugly toy!"

That made the demon stop in her tracks. "I'm ugly?! How dare you! You and your smooth, peach face. Ugh! I'm gonna kill you more for that!"

She raised her paws at Dawn, causing the child to levitate. Mr. Gordo's eyes grew wide at the threat to Brown Fur. "No!!!!" He rammed his pink body into the bunny, knocking her down. Dawn fell to the ground as well, crying with a high-pitched wail.

At all the commotion, Buffy and Xander ran out from the bathroom to join in the fun and games. They were wrong about that, though. Buffy caught a glimpse of her sister in pain, then turned to see the scuffle between Mr. Gordo and Bunnyanka…except her bunny no longer looked cute and cuddly. She was now bumpy and slimy.

"You will not hurt my Girl!" The stuffed animals traded blows, until Bunnyanka finally tired of the manual display of power. She summoned all her power and blew the pig off her with a huge puff. Mr. Gordo flew into the wall. Buffy gasped at the sight of her beloved piggy. His stuffing poured out of a torn ear and tail. An arm lay across the hall, and a leg was missing. Before she could run to him, Bunnyanka addressed her.

"No, no, no, little one. You're mine now." She grinned evilly, then raised her paws once again. Bright red light began to shine out of the tips, growing larger and larger every second.

************

Spike stared at a pink, severed leg. "That can't be good."

************

As if in slow motion, Bunnyanka's light continued its growth. All eyes focused on it in amazement. Spike and Anya could see the blood red light flooding into their room as well. Buffy was seconds from becoming an ex-slayer -- the kind that becomes a short blurb of a listing in the Council of Watchers' Who Was Who in Vampire Slaying. Sure, you can buy one for four easy payments of $19.95, but who would want one? Face it, it's a very dry read, and the pictures aren't very flattering.

*Cough* Anyhow…back to our story.

A pink head lifted itself up with some difficulty as its eyes glowed green. The pig, possessed by some primeval force, muttered a slew of Latin words as if it were his first language. Bunnyanka's attention swiftly turned from the Bitty Buffy to her nemesis, Mr. Gordo.

"…me obtestor…"

"Um…" Bunnyanka's face began to show some fear.

"…me voco…"

Strike that. Her face was simply terrified. She had underestimated that stupid pig. What was she thinking?! Her body tingled from head to toe. She suddenly felt hot and cold at the same time. It wasn't until she realized she was screaming that she looked down to see her toes turning inside out, quickly followed by the rest of her small body. Before the pain became unbearable, she was able to mutter just one last sentence.

"If you strike me down, I will become stronger than you can possibly imagine!"

"My will be done!" he squealed at the disappearing bunny.

At that, her body completely devoured itself starting from the bottom. There was not even a speck of fur left in its place.

***********