Author's note: I bet you though I forgot about this story, didn't you? Well I did, but I'm at it again, and here's the next chapter! PLEASE review this, I wanna know what you think! Please tell me that I haven't lost my touch ;)
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"One! Sing-aaah!" Hermione/Mary Sue23 shreiked in surprise at the high, operatic tone of 'her' voice then reprehended herself for the start. All Mary Sues had amazing, angelic voices- how could she have forgotten that?
In the meantime, the portrait hole had opened (this particular portrait had a reputation for not being picky with the password-perhaps on it's own effort to help?)
The common room was in a complete sense of chaos.
Hermione stepped cautiously into the room, and jumped three feet into the air (seemingly in defiance of gravity), as something exploded to her immediate right.
And to her left, and in front of the fireplace, and from the dormitory stairs.
"EVERYBODY CALM DOWN!" A girl with black hair and violet eyes shouted in the middle of it all, her distinctly American mid-western accent coming out as she yelled.
"What's going on?" Hermione/Mary Sue 23 asked as innocently as she could.
"Oh it's just awful!" the girl, Page, drawled. "Every time one of us gets upset, they spontaneously combust!" She, along with the rest of the house was extremely dismayed.
"Oh no..." Hermione/Mary Sue 23 gasped, almost convincingly.
"If it keeps going at this rate, there'll be no one left!" Chavie, a first year, cried, looking up at her with huge watery eyes.
'Poor thing' thought Hermione. 'Maybe they're not all so bad after all.'
"It's almost as bad as the time I had to save my orphanage from a Death Eater attack!" she squealed.
Hermione/Mary Sue 23 buried her head in her hands and sighed.
"It's not that bad dear, really." Page put an arm around her shoulders.
"Yes it is, believe me." She said, looking up at the group of devil girls.
She had one thing to keep in mind: Never trust a Mary Sue.
Never.
"It really is." Said Alyssa, getting up from a teal cushioned chair in front of the fireplace. "Not even Dumbledore will help us. Dumbledore! And he's my grandfather!!" The redhead pouted.
"That doesn't sound like him…" Hermione/Mary frowned slightly.
"I know! He just said that based on the choices we have made, that we would find our ultimate fate waiting for us, and that in the end, the Mary Sue house would become a legend." Alyssa was extremely out.
'Yes,' Hermione thought, 'a legend told to frighten first years.'
"Together, Page, Mary, and I can save the day!" Alyssa proclaimed, jumping into Mary Sue overdrive.
"Yay!" Shouted Page, clapping her hands together.
Both of them looked expectantly at Hermione/Mary Sue 23, and she had the decency to look properly horrified at the notion.
"Oh… n-no, I couldn't. I mean, I'm not really good in this kind if situation, I'm sure you don't want me, really." She laughed nervously.
"Mary! This isn't like you at all! You must be ill, let me take you to the hospital wing!" Alyssa grabbed Hermione/Mary Sue 23's hand, and started to pull her up, but she refused to go.
"Oh no, I'm fine, No-"
"You've got to help us! Remember the time you defeated Voldermort with nothing more than a ball of yarn, a phoenix feather, and the look in your eyes?" Page recounted the tale wistfully.
"Er, of course I do." Hermione/Mary Sue 23 faltered slightly.
"This is the worst danger that we've ever been in! We're a danger to ourselves!" Alyssa whispered dramatically.
'True enough' Hermione thought.
"I suppose there could be a slight threat to being extremely flammable." She said out loud.
"Mary! You are not taking this situation seriously!" Page yelled.
"I am taking this seriously, believe me." She said, attempting to sound offended. 'If only you knew' she thought to herself.
"This could really be the end of the Mary Sues!" Page quivered slightly.
"You promise?" Hermione/Mary Sue 23's eyes lit up.
Alyssa opened her mouth so speak, but a terrified shriek from behind them made all three girls jump.
Chavie was staring open mouthed at Hermione/Mary Sue 23, when she finally got the courage to speak.
"Your hair… it's FRIZZY!!!" The first year stammered.
"Oh that's it! I'm taking you to the hospital wing Right Now. Something is obviously wrong with you!" Alyssa grabbed Hermione/Mary Sue 23's robes, yanked her up, and started to drag her out of the common room, when she wrenched herself out of Alyssa's grasp.
"Let go of me!" She screamed.
"What is wrong with you??" The other girl's eyes blazed, while her chest was heaving.
An explosion threw Hermione/Mary Sue to her feet.
When the smoke cleared, Alyssa and Mary Sue 23 were nowhere to be found.
However, sitting in Mary Sue 23's place, was a very disheveled looking Hermione Granger.
"GRANGER!" Page Shrieked in absolute fury.
Another explosion shook the common room, and Page was no more.
Hermione sat there for a moment, shocked, and then she did something she had never done before.
"Shit!" She squeaked, before fleeing from and enraged mob of demon girls.
Running faster than she had ever run before, she looked behind her to see about 30 Mary Sues chasing her.
"BLOOD SUCKING MARY SUE'S!" She screamed at the Fat Lady, before she shook herself mentally, "I mean Blood Sucking Bugbears." She said a bit more calmly, before stepping into the Gryffindor common room, and slamming the portrait hole closed behind her.
"What ever you do, DO NOT OPEN THIS PORTRIT HOLE." She breathed shallowly.
The whole of Gryffindor house had gathered in the common room, awaiting her return.
They were staring at her with strange, if not expectant expressions on their faces.
Seemingly out of the blue, an explosion erupted- one that made books fall off the bookshelves, threw whoever had been standing off their feet, and had most likely been heard throughout the entire castle, down to the lowest Slytherin dungeon.
Slowly, Hermione opened the portrait hole, and peaked out.
The mob that had only moments ago been threatening to kill her was nowhere to be found.
"Hogwarts: 50. Mary Sues: 0." She grinned.
That left only 11 Mary Sues.
And they didn't stand a chance.