New Tears & Old Songs (Hang, Chapter II)
Nobody ever warns you
Or tells you what to do
She walks away
You're left to stay
Alone forever blue
The sound of silence kept him up most nights. And when the darkness finally gave way to the morning light, he found himself struggling to greet the day that lay ahead, because he knew that it would only bring him pain and sorrow.
He was angry, too. Angry at her, for leaving, then coming back into his life. He was angry at himself, for letting her go, twice. He was angry because it was easier to be angry, than it was to be sad.
He did his best to forget her, but to no avail. Then she came back, and everything changed. He could no longer pretend that her decision to leave was not about him: for as much as she had tried to tell him otherwise, her message to him was clear—she was bored—he bored her.
She walked away, and he let her, not because of a selfless need to ensure her happiness—but because he didn't know how to hold on anymore. He wished he did.
The stars have all stopped shining
The sun just won't break through
Each day is the same
More clouds, more rain
You're left forever blue
He loved her, and he always would. And that was why he left his life and his friends behind. He'd spent the past year saving up as much money as he could, and when he walked out the door that day, the day she came and left again, the day he told his best friend he would see him soon, that day he cleared out his savings, and walked away from everything he'd ever known. He boarded a plane, and disappeared. Disappeared from everyone, and from himself. He no longer wanted to leave his life to chance, to fate. He wanted to take control, to guide his life in a direction that would bring him what he wanted.
He would change everything, so that maybe, she would love him again.
Forever blue cause you love her
But she doesn't love you
You did your best
Life did the rest
You're left forever blue
He looked out over the ocean, thousands of miles from the city where he was raised, and he wondered silently, if, in the year since he'd been gone, if she thought about him, too.
No reason left for living
Still there's a lot to do
New tears to cry, old songs to sing
And feel forever blue
And be forever blue
AN: So, I still have writer's block, so if this is lame and doesn't make sense, um…keep it to yourself, LOL. This has no story, really, I just really need to try and work through this funk. Sigh.
Forever Blue, ©1995, C. Isaak
©2002, SFGrl