(Hang, Chapter III)
Listen as the wind blows
from across the great divide,
Voices trapped in yearning,
memories trapped in time,
The night is my companion
and solitude my guide,
Would I spend forever here
and not be satisfied,
Months passed. And it became abundantly clear to everyone that he was not coming back. Monica tried her best not to let it get to her, she tried her best not to let it show how badly she needed him. She knew, that they knew, that it was her fault: that she had created the world that she was now trapped in. She could not find solace in sympathy that did not exist for her. She loved him, she always had, but her fears had driven her, and then him, to the edge of reason.
She would give her everything, to have one more moment with him, to be able to look into his eyes and see nothing but love and contentment. But it would never be. For whatever love and happiness and naivety he had left was forever destroyed the day she moved to France. Why France? And why not with him? What had she been so afraid of?
And I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away
and after I'd wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes dear
She would love him,
forever, if given one more chance. But
as the months passed, she knew that he was finding his own way, stumbling
toward a reality of his own. She had no
place in the reality he was creating for himself now. She shivered, as she recalled how many times he'd been hurt, and
how she had always sworn she would never hurt him. Then she did. And she
still could not explain why she'd felt so stifled, why she had seen her future
with him, and had cringed. Now, faced
with the reality that she may never see him again, she wondered where the
feelings had come from…and where they had gone.
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed,
Trying to find an honest word,
to find the truth enslaved,
Oh you speak to me in riddles and
you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath,
your words keep me alive,
And I would be the one
to hold you down,
kiss you so hard,
I'll take your breath away
and after I'd wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes dear
Eighteen months. It had been eighteen months since she had returned to the empty apartment. No one had heard from him, and they all
believed that they never would. Then,
there was a letter.
It was a plain white envelope, with no return address, but a postmark from Hawai'i. It was addressed to Joey.
Joey-
I don't know where to begin. I'm on Maui! I don't know why I chose to come here, but I did, and I have been here ever since. I wish I could explain to you why I left, and why I will not be coming back. Trust me when I tell you that it is for the best. I want to you know just how much you mean to me—how much you all mean to me. How is everyone? Are Ross and Rachel together or apart? Has Phoebe found her true love? Are you on the road to fame & fortune? Do you ever hear from Monica? I wish you all love and happiness, and I hope that you can someday forgive me for not saying goodbye.
All the best,
Chandler
Against his better judgment, Joey showed the letter to Monica. She cried, and she smiled. He was okay, but he wasn't coming back. She was determined to see him, to make him understand. The others told her not to. But she couldn't not do it. She had to find him. Her friends relented, but would not let her go alone.
And two days later, five friends were on their way to Hawai'i.
Possession, ©1993 Sarah McLachlan