This was a really tough story for me to write. It only took me a couple
hours for the entire thing, but it was still tough to write. Read it and
you'll see why.
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing nor any of the characters and so on.
I'm just a poor teenager. But, this IS my story. I also do not own the
rights to the song "Day that I Die" by Good Charlotte. The only thing that
is mine is the story idea, so keep your hands off.
Rating: PG (Death-fic)
Synopsis: It's AC198, the Gundam Boys have survived two wars. One
leaves his memories in a journal for the others to read after he dies.
Figure out who it is (and don't cheat by reading the end of the story
first!)
[ ] = journal entries // // Song lyrics ~ ~ Newspaper article
Day That I Die © Omega Leigh 2002
October 7, AC 198 4:15 a.m.
[ The alarm clock rang this morning like it always does. It's never-ending buzz echoed throughout my semi-dark room. Slowly I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. It was so white; a perfect unmarred white with shadows dancing across it. My mind marveled over the perfection of the ceiling for a moment or two longer. I had never noticed how white it was before. I wonder why today was so different from every other day? Maybe it's because for once, for the first day in a long time my body is not in pain.]
//One day I woke up
I woke up knowing
Today is the day I will die //
6:30 a.m. [ Things in my life weren't the same; they hadn't been since the war ended. Sure, life went on. It always did. The world works that way, people die and a baby is born to replace them. It's a part of a cycle. I don't regret anything I've done. I fought in the war; I came out of it different than I went in, that's for sure. I'm an eighteen-year-old boy who doesn't know whether or not I'll live to be twenty-five. Seriously, I've seen everything there is to see. There's nothing left here for me. I need to get out. ]
//Cashdogg was barking
Went to the park
And enjoyed that one last time//
9:45 a.m. [ I walked down to the park. It's not that far from my apartment you know. A few blocks. I love it there. It's fall here on the colony and there was a definite morning frost in the air. The trees are changing colours now; they're at their peak of colour. It's my favourite time of the year, fall is. Things are dying, turning over, changing. They are gone for the entire winter, then spring comes and they a re-born. New life springs up from death. Once again I take you back to my "cycle theory". I sat down on one of the benches and allowed the cold morning air to rush over me. It was rejuvenating to say the least. The leaves are so beautiful now. The greens, oranges, purples, yellows and reds are vibrant right now. I especially like the red leaves; they are especially bright this year. They remind me of blood. ]
//I called my mother
Told her I loved her
I begged her not to cry//
10:20 a.m. [ I don't have any family. I guess you already knew that. I don't think I ever did. I was just kind of "there". I didn't really belong to anyone, and even if I did, they probably wouldn't have had me. I don't blame them. I had some friends. But they all died sooner or later. That's why I don't want to let anyone get close to me as a friend. I don't want to lose them too. ]
//I wrote her a letter
I said I'd miss her
And signed that goodbye //
10:30 a.m. [ I know maybe someday someone will find this book, and when they do, I want them to give it to the four guys I allowed to be my friends. This time I don't think I have to worry about them dying on me and leaving me. This time I'm going to be the one hurting them. I have a letter to each of my comrades hidden in the back of this book. So, if they ever get it they'll know the truth about everything. I hate keeping secrets from people. ]
//you know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die//
11:00 a.m. [ I swear, today is so amazing to me. I'm seeing life at such a different level than I ever did before. I'm enjoying living today. I think it's the first day I've been genuinely happy since.Since before I can remember. ]
//Can you feel the cold tonight? (the day that I died)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I died)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I died)
All alone, but I feel fine (the day that I died)//
11:10 a.m. [ Take it any way you'd like but I think I'd like to spend today with my friends again. I haven't seen them in a few months, I think I'll call them up and get together with them. I really miss talking with them so much. I remember during the war, how we all chose to work separately rather than together. It was the way we all felt comfortable. But now, it feels like a part is missing when we are all apart. We're like five parts of a puzzle that have to be there or the picture is incomplete. Not just one can complete the picture, it takes all five to fill in the blank space. ]
//We took a drive and.
We drove through DC
To see the places we lived//
19:45 p.m. [I got hold of everyone and awkwardly we all decided to go downtown. We thought that maybe we'd go out to eat and drive around, visit some of our old haunts from during the war. It was fun, just being with them I felt complete and my happiness just grew. ]
//Our conversations
We talked of old friends
And all the things that we did//
19:50 p.m. [ I think we talked about everything that we could fit into seven hours of conversation. We wound up driving to a secluded warehouse that we once hid out in during the war. We started a fire; it warmed up the large, empty room. I think the real warmness came from the five of us being together again. We talked about our enemies, our battles, and our thoughts of each other, all from during the war. I wondered about all of our other friends from during the war. We talked about them, the things we went through with them. How much pain we caused each other, how annoying we got to each other every now and then. We talked about our near chances with death. How many times we had literally knocked on death's door and he had come out and greeted us, and how many times we had escaped his grasp to live another day and fight another battle. Never again. ]
//Summer nights
Drunken fights
mistakes we made
Did we live it right?//
20:05 p.m. [ We talked about after the war, things we had done then. Literally, we hadn't known what to do. We didn't have to fight ever again as far as we knew. War was a bitter past to us. We were alive, living, and living to life's fullest. We stayed together for nearly a year after the war. Five newfound friends together at last. After all that we had gone through during the war, we were sure we could handle anything freedom through at us. We were so young and naïve. Some say war hardened us; I'd say what we went through after the war was what shaped us into who we are today. The others tend to agree. ]
//You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I died//
[ The happiness is just flowing through me right now. I always want my war pals to know how much they mean to me. You guys are the ones that bring me my true happiness. Today was so much fun for me. I'm glad I spent it with you.]
//Can you feel the cold tonight? (the day that I died)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I died)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I died)
All alone but I feel just fine (the day that I died)//
22:30 p.m.
[ I hope that what is going to happen tonight will never cause the four of my friends any pain. I'm merely completing my life's cycle. It's the winter of my existence. I hope you can understand what I'm saying here. You gave me happiness that I can never describe in words or actions. I can merely say thank you. Thank you for everything that you've done for me, for making me as happy as you did today. I can only hope that the life that I have lead is good enough. I hope that I lived it right. Remember me always. I'll always be with you. You might just turn around and catch a quick glimpse of me, but I'll be gone. Hiding in the shadows. I'll watch you shake your head and turn away. And I'll remember that happiness that you gave me. I pray that the four of you felt the same happiness that I did today. I'm sure you did. I could see it in your eyes as you laughed at my lame jokes, as we talked of old times. I thought we'd be older when this happened. We'd be sitting on some country porch drinking beer and remembering "the good old days" but see, that can never happen as long as I'm here. I want the rest of you to remember that happiness, and I know you can all get it when you are together again, just like today. Never let anything destroy that happiness we all shared. ]
//Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right
Did I live it right?
I know I lived it right
Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right
Did I live it right?//
~ L2 Tribune Newspaper Article October 8, AC198
The body of a young man was discovered today in an apartment complex on the L2 Colony LaGrange Point X91900. The body is said to be that of eighteen-year-old ex-Gundam Deathscythe pilot Duo Maxwell. The cause of death is said to be that of a cancerous tumour on the pilot's brain.~
October10 AC198
Chang Wufei turned and faced the mass of people gathered on the grassy hillside. This was Duo's favourite spot to come to in the park and Wufei, Quatre, Trowa and Heero thought it the perfect place to scatter Duo's ashes. Tears burned his eyes and quickly he brushed them away.
"Well, it seems that Duo was one to keep a secret. I never knew that he could keep one. It wasn't something he was famous for." Wufei began. Laughter echoed throughout the crowd.
"It has been confirmed, Duo died of cancer, and he had been dying for some time, he just didn't feel he should weigh us down with that burden. He told us all about it in the letters he left for us in his journal. I cannot believe I had not seen it before. The times the five of us got together I didn't see how much pain he was in. I only wish, by some God given miracle that I had." Wufei lowered his eyes and stepped back, allowing room for Quatre to step in.
Quatre Raberba Winner stepped forward; he was holding Duo's worn, leather journal in his hands. "Duo was a great friend to us all. The best a person could have. He was strong, stronger than most. He lived the end of his young life in pain but he never complained about it." Quatre paused and opened Duo's journal. "I think he wouldn't mind me reading this to you. You all were touched in some way by Duo." Quatre found the page and began to read Duo's last written words. "'I pray that the four of you felt the same happiness that I did today. I'm sure you did. I could see it in your eyes as you laughed at my lame jokes, as we talked of old times. I thought we'd be older when this happened. We'd be sitting on some country porch drinking beer and remembering the good old days but see, that can never happen as long as I'm here. I want the rest of you to remember that happiness, and I know you can all get it when you are together again, just like today. Never let anything destroy that happiness we all shared.'" As Quatre ended his reading he allowed tears to slip from his eyes and run down his cheeks. Sobs broke from the crowd. Duo had never known how much he truly meant to so many people.
Trowa Barton walked forward; slowly he let his eyes wander over each member of the crowd. "Duo loved you all, he knew you all, he cherished you all. It comes as a shock to everyone here that he's dead. He was too young, barely eighteen-years-old. He hadn't been able to live. But, he's told us to move on. I know Duo will always be with us in some way. He wouldn't leave. He loved us all too much. Shinigami will not let death cheat him out of everyone else's life. He'll always be with us." Trowa bit his lip. Duo had meant so much to Trowa. He was a friend, a constant light in times of darkness and now he was gone. How would the four pilots go on without Duo?
Silence settled over the crowd. There was one last pilot of the original five to speak. Heero Yuy, Duo's closest friend out of the four. All eyes watched the young boy closely. He was dressed in solid black, jeans and a button up shirt. In his hands he held the urn that contained Duo's ashes. He looked up from the urn and addressed the crowd. "Duo never wanted.he never wanted us to be sad. Up until the end he reminded us to be happy. He never would have wanted a big funeral service with flowers and champagne and people dressed up. It just wasn't him." Heero's voice trailed off and he brushed away tears from his eyes. "Duo was the best friend I could have ever had. How many times did I save him from captivity during the war and in return he saved me. We learned from each other. He taught me that there was more to life than war. He taught me happiness. And in return, I was compelled to him sock him for singing too loud at times."
The crowd laughed again, remembering Duo's antics. "But, today, we're going to give Duo up for good. He'll always be with us, though he may not be here in person. This is for my best friend." Heero slowly, almost hesitantly took the ornate lid off of the urn and held it in his hands. "Good-bye Duo." He whispered, feeling Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei put their hands on his shoulders. "I hope wherever you are now, you're happy." With his final words Heero poured the contents of the urn into the palm of his hand and held it up into the air. The wind caught the ashes and whipped them up quickly. The other three followed his actions and in seconds the urn was empty. The crowd watched as the ashes disappeared into the air.
Moments later laughter rang out gently from somewhere in the colony. A baby boy had been born to a young couple. Life continued on. Never ending.
[ ] = journal entries // // Song lyrics ~ ~ Newspaper article
Day That I Die © Omega Leigh 2002
October 7, AC 198 4:15 a.m.
[ The alarm clock rang this morning like it always does. It's never-ending buzz echoed throughout my semi-dark room. Slowly I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. It was so white; a perfect unmarred white with shadows dancing across it. My mind marveled over the perfection of the ceiling for a moment or two longer. I had never noticed how white it was before. I wonder why today was so different from every other day? Maybe it's because for once, for the first day in a long time my body is not in pain.]
//One day I woke up
I woke up knowing
Today is the day I will die //
6:30 a.m. [ Things in my life weren't the same; they hadn't been since the war ended. Sure, life went on. It always did. The world works that way, people die and a baby is born to replace them. It's a part of a cycle. I don't regret anything I've done. I fought in the war; I came out of it different than I went in, that's for sure. I'm an eighteen-year-old boy who doesn't know whether or not I'll live to be twenty-five. Seriously, I've seen everything there is to see. There's nothing left here for me. I need to get out. ]
//Cashdogg was barking
Went to the park
And enjoyed that one last time//
9:45 a.m. [ I walked down to the park. It's not that far from my apartment you know. A few blocks. I love it there. It's fall here on the colony and there was a definite morning frost in the air. The trees are changing colours now; they're at their peak of colour. It's my favourite time of the year, fall is. Things are dying, turning over, changing. They are gone for the entire winter, then spring comes and they a re-born. New life springs up from death. Once again I take you back to my "cycle theory". I sat down on one of the benches and allowed the cold morning air to rush over me. It was rejuvenating to say the least. The leaves are so beautiful now. The greens, oranges, purples, yellows and reds are vibrant right now. I especially like the red leaves; they are especially bright this year. They remind me of blood. ]
//I called my mother
Told her I loved her
I begged her not to cry//
10:20 a.m. [ I don't have any family. I guess you already knew that. I don't think I ever did. I was just kind of "there". I didn't really belong to anyone, and even if I did, they probably wouldn't have had me. I don't blame them. I had some friends. But they all died sooner or later. That's why I don't want to let anyone get close to me as a friend. I don't want to lose them too. ]
//I wrote her a letter
I said I'd miss her
And signed that goodbye //
10:30 a.m. [ I know maybe someday someone will find this book, and when they do, I want them to give it to the four guys I allowed to be my friends. This time I don't think I have to worry about them dying on me and leaving me. This time I'm going to be the one hurting them. I have a letter to each of my comrades hidden in the back of this book. So, if they ever get it they'll know the truth about everything. I hate keeping secrets from people. ]
//you know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I die//
11:00 a.m. [ I swear, today is so amazing to me. I'm seeing life at such a different level than I ever did before. I'm enjoying living today. I think it's the first day I've been genuinely happy since.Since before I can remember. ]
//Can you feel the cold tonight? (the day that I died)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I died)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I died)
All alone, but I feel fine (the day that I died)//
11:10 a.m. [ Take it any way you'd like but I think I'd like to spend today with my friends again. I haven't seen them in a few months, I think I'll call them up and get together with them. I really miss talking with them so much. I remember during the war, how we all chose to work separately rather than together. It was the way we all felt comfortable. But now, it feels like a part is missing when we are all apart. We're like five parts of a puzzle that have to be there or the picture is incomplete. Not just one can complete the picture, it takes all five to fill in the blank space. ]
//We took a drive and.
We drove through DC
To see the places we lived//
19:45 p.m. [I got hold of everyone and awkwardly we all decided to go downtown. We thought that maybe we'd go out to eat and drive around, visit some of our old haunts from during the war. It was fun, just being with them I felt complete and my happiness just grew. ]
//Our conversations
We talked of old friends
And all the things that we did//
19:50 p.m. [ I think we talked about everything that we could fit into seven hours of conversation. We wound up driving to a secluded warehouse that we once hid out in during the war. We started a fire; it warmed up the large, empty room. I think the real warmness came from the five of us being together again. We talked about our enemies, our battles, and our thoughts of each other, all from during the war. I wondered about all of our other friends from during the war. We talked about them, the things we went through with them. How much pain we caused each other, how annoying we got to each other every now and then. We talked about our near chances with death. How many times we had literally knocked on death's door and he had come out and greeted us, and how many times we had escaped his grasp to live another day and fight another battle. Never again. ]
//Summer nights
Drunken fights
mistakes we made
Did we live it right?//
20:05 p.m. [ We talked about after the war, things we had done then. Literally, we hadn't known what to do. We didn't have to fight ever again as far as we knew. War was a bitter past to us. We were alive, living, and living to life's fullest. We stayed together for nearly a year after the war. Five newfound friends together at last. After all that we had gone through during the war, we were sure we could handle anything freedom through at us. We were so young and naïve. Some say war hardened us; I'd say what we went through after the war was what shaped us into who we are today. The others tend to agree. ]
//You know the happiest day of my life
I swear the happiest day of my life
Is the day that I died//
[ The happiness is just flowing through me right now. I always want my war pals to know how much they mean to me. You guys are the ones that bring me my true happiness. Today was so much fun for me. I'm glad I spent it with you.]
//Can you feel the cold tonight? (the day that I died)
It sets in, but it's alright (the day that I died)
Darkness falls, I'm letting go (the day that I died)
All alone but I feel just fine (the day that I died)//
22:30 p.m.
[ I hope that what is going to happen tonight will never cause the four of my friends any pain. I'm merely completing my life's cycle. It's the winter of my existence. I hope you can understand what I'm saying here. You gave me happiness that I can never describe in words or actions. I can merely say thank you. Thank you for everything that you've done for me, for making me as happy as you did today. I can only hope that the life that I have lead is good enough. I hope that I lived it right. Remember me always. I'll always be with you. You might just turn around and catch a quick glimpse of me, but I'll be gone. Hiding in the shadows. I'll watch you shake your head and turn away. And I'll remember that happiness that you gave me. I pray that the four of you felt the same happiness that I did today. I'm sure you did. I could see it in your eyes as you laughed at my lame jokes, as we talked of old times. I thought we'd be older when this happened. We'd be sitting on some country porch drinking beer and remembering "the good old days" but see, that can never happen as long as I'm here. I want the rest of you to remember that happiness, and I know you can all get it when you are together again, just like today. Never let anything destroy that happiness we all shared. ]
//Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right
Did I live it right?
I know I lived it right
Did I live it right?
I hope I lived it right
Did I live it right?//
~ L2 Tribune Newspaper Article October 8, AC198
The body of a young man was discovered today in an apartment complex on the L2 Colony LaGrange Point X91900. The body is said to be that of eighteen-year-old ex-Gundam Deathscythe pilot Duo Maxwell. The cause of death is said to be that of a cancerous tumour on the pilot's brain.~
October10 AC198
Chang Wufei turned and faced the mass of people gathered on the grassy hillside. This was Duo's favourite spot to come to in the park and Wufei, Quatre, Trowa and Heero thought it the perfect place to scatter Duo's ashes. Tears burned his eyes and quickly he brushed them away.
"Well, it seems that Duo was one to keep a secret. I never knew that he could keep one. It wasn't something he was famous for." Wufei began. Laughter echoed throughout the crowd.
"It has been confirmed, Duo died of cancer, and he had been dying for some time, he just didn't feel he should weigh us down with that burden. He told us all about it in the letters he left for us in his journal. I cannot believe I had not seen it before. The times the five of us got together I didn't see how much pain he was in. I only wish, by some God given miracle that I had." Wufei lowered his eyes and stepped back, allowing room for Quatre to step in.
Quatre Raberba Winner stepped forward; he was holding Duo's worn, leather journal in his hands. "Duo was a great friend to us all. The best a person could have. He was strong, stronger than most. He lived the end of his young life in pain but he never complained about it." Quatre paused and opened Duo's journal. "I think he wouldn't mind me reading this to you. You all were touched in some way by Duo." Quatre found the page and began to read Duo's last written words. "'I pray that the four of you felt the same happiness that I did today. I'm sure you did. I could see it in your eyes as you laughed at my lame jokes, as we talked of old times. I thought we'd be older when this happened. We'd be sitting on some country porch drinking beer and remembering the good old days but see, that can never happen as long as I'm here. I want the rest of you to remember that happiness, and I know you can all get it when you are together again, just like today. Never let anything destroy that happiness we all shared.'" As Quatre ended his reading he allowed tears to slip from his eyes and run down his cheeks. Sobs broke from the crowd. Duo had never known how much he truly meant to so many people.
Trowa Barton walked forward; slowly he let his eyes wander over each member of the crowd. "Duo loved you all, he knew you all, he cherished you all. It comes as a shock to everyone here that he's dead. He was too young, barely eighteen-years-old. He hadn't been able to live. But, he's told us to move on. I know Duo will always be with us in some way. He wouldn't leave. He loved us all too much. Shinigami will not let death cheat him out of everyone else's life. He'll always be with us." Trowa bit his lip. Duo had meant so much to Trowa. He was a friend, a constant light in times of darkness and now he was gone. How would the four pilots go on without Duo?
Silence settled over the crowd. There was one last pilot of the original five to speak. Heero Yuy, Duo's closest friend out of the four. All eyes watched the young boy closely. He was dressed in solid black, jeans and a button up shirt. In his hands he held the urn that contained Duo's ashes. He looked up from the urn and addressed the crowd. "Duo never wanted.he never wanted us to be sad. Up until the end he reminded us to be happy. He never would have wanted a big funeral service with flowers and champagne and people dressed up. It just wasn't him." Heero's voice trailed off and he brushed away tears from his eyes. "Duo was the best friend I could have ever had. How many times did I save him from captivity during the war and in return he saved me. We learned from each other. He taught me that there was more to life than war. He taught me happiness. And in return, I was compelled to him sock him for singing too loud at times."
The crowd laughed again, remembering Duo's antics. "But, today, we're going to give Duo up for good. He'll always be with us, though he may not be here in person. This is for my best friend." Heero slowly, almost hesitantly took the ornate lid off of the urn and held it in his hands. "Good-bye Duo." He whispered, feeling Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei put their hands on his shoulders. "I hope wherever you are now, you're happy." With his final words Heero poured the contents of the urn into the palm of his hand and held it up into the air. The wind caught the ashes and whipped them up quickly. The other three followed his actions and in seconds the urn was empty. The crowd watched as the ashes disappeared into the air.
Moments later laughter rang out gently from somewhere in the colony. A baby boy had been born to a young couple. Life continued on. Never ending.