(Hang, Chapter VIII)
Chandler sat on the narrow stretch of beach that ran in front of his bar, the sounds of the night echoing in his ears. He gazed out at the ocean, his mind whirling. It was beautiful, the ocean: beautiful to look at, beautiful to listen to, beautiful to breathe in…everything about it was enchanting, intimate and grand simultaneously.
But it was deadly.
The ocean that Chandler sat in front of was the very same ocean that had nearly killed him, and yet he was absolutely and totally drawn to it. He thrived on it, and felt a vacancy in his soul when he was away from it. He respected the beauty and the deadliness of it completely.
And the irony had not escaped him.
The ocean, and his feelings for it, mirrored his feelings for Monica. Like the ocean, Monica had nearly killed him when she'd walked away, and did manage to corrupt his soul when she returned to ask for a divorce. But like the ocean, Chandler was drawn to Monica, and found that he could not live his life, if she wasn't in it. He sighed heavily, as he leaned back, and dug his hands deep into the sand. The granules underneath the surface were crisply cool, but the action was strangely comforting. Kind of like when he stuck his hands in his pockets. His mind was on Monica, and the steps he needed to take to keep her in his life. He wondered how much she would be willing to sacrifice to be with him. He also wondered how much he was willing to sacrifice to be with her. He knew that he could not sacrifice all; that he could not give her his everything, because if he did, and she walked away again, it would kill him. He loved her, he loved her with everything that he was, but he wasn't sure that that was going to be enough.
"Hey," Monica whispered, and slowly sat down in the sand beside Chandler.
"Hey," Chandler smiled, and watched her as she sat down.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Thinking," Chandler sighed.
"About?" Monica arched an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side slightly.
"You," Chandler's eyes softened, and he smiled shyly.
"Me?" Monica felt her cheeks flush. What a strange reaction, Monica told herself. She was reacting like someone who was out on a first date. She watched Chandler, as he broke his gaze, and looked out at the ocean again. Could it be? Was she falling in love with him all over again? But she had always loved him…so that was impossible, right?
"I was thinking about how I was almost killed yesterday, yet I still want to run out into the ocean."
"What?" Monica furrowed her brow.
"I still love the ocean, even though she almost destroyed me," Chandler's eyes were sparkling with unshed tears as he turned to Monica again.
Monica knew in an instant that Chandler was not talking about the ocean anymore, and she was rendered speechless by his honesty.
"When I was out there, I—felt you—around me, inside me…and I knew that I was going to be okay, as long as you were there."
"Chandler—"
"I love you, Monica, and I know that it's going to be hard, but I just don't think I can be without you."
"I love you too," Monica whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
"But—" Chandler sighed, and wiped Monica's tears gingerly with the back of his hand, "I can't go back to New York, either."
Monica was taken aback by this revelation, and tried her best to hide it, but was unsuccessful.
"Mon, I understand if you can't leave New York, but I really need to stay here. This is where I want to be now, and I—"
"I can move," Monica blurted suddenly, surprising both of them.
"What?"
"I can. I want to. Look, it doesn't matter where I live…as long as I'm with you," Monica smiled, "I'll do whatever it takes."
"What if I said I wanted to move to…uh…Tulsa, Oklahoma?" Chandler asked wryly.
"I'd go in a heartbeat," Monica smiled.
"Really?"
"Yes," Monica grinned.
"It's…a good first step," Chandler smiled, and leaned back onto his elbows.
"It is," Monica rubbed his upper arm, before leaning back on her elbows next to him.
Then, under the cool, soft sand, his hand silently found hers, as they awaited the coming of the morning light.
To my surprise
And my delight
I saw a sunrise
I saw a sunlight.
I am nothing
In the dark
And the clouds burst
To show the daylight
Oooh and the sun will shine
Yeah on this heart of mine
Ooooh and I realise
Who cannot live without
Ooooh come apart without
On a hilltop
On a sky-rise
Like a firstborn
Child
And at full tilt
And in full flight
Defeat darkness
Breaking daylight
Oooh and the sun will shine
Yeah on this heart of mine
Ooooh and I realise
Who cannot live without
Ooooh and come apart without
Daylight
Slowly breaking through the daylight
Daylight (Coldplay)
AN: That's it!! Yeah, it's short but, well, it goes with the song, okay?? Please leave me a little review…I need to feel the love, baby, lol.
Epilogue coming soon…
A