***Author's blab: This is my own little section of "wouldn't it be weird
if...?" My friend Fawn and I have been thinking of these all day, and I
thought I should put a few up here for you to laugh at, if only to laugh at
the sadness I know, I'm not funny, but I can't help it! It brightens my day
to do these things! Okay...not really, but it does give me something to do
with myself! Enjoy!***
Wouldn't it be weird if:
** Lucius divorced Narcissa, married Trelawney, and kept Molly Weasley as his lover
**Voldie had a secret crush on Harry, and was only out to get him so he could butt-rape him
**Harry was also crushing on Voldie
**Dumbledore and Hagrid were having an affair
**Snape was in on the affair (without them knowing it), videotaping everything they did and getting off on it each night as he sat alone in his dungeon. (eeewww....)
**Krum had a crush on Harry
**Draco had a crush on Harry
**Snape had a crush on Harry
**All of J.K. Rowling's characters had a crush on Harry
**Voldie watched TV in his free time (when he wasn't reeking havoc over "non-believers" and Muggles) and his favorite show was "King of the Hill"
**In order to graduate from HS, you had to be able to list (and correctly pronounce) all of the Curses, Charms, and Incantations named in the books, and you had to tell the motion of wand an arm as well. (A/N: that would rock, really, because then I might actually have some hope of graduating in the top half of my class.)
**Harry grew up to be the Potions Master
**Somebody tried to change their name to that of one of the characters. (A/N: Jessica Dean=Neville Longbottom...lol, Fawn. Sorry guys, inside joke!)
**Neville Longbottom got top scores on his N.E.W.T.s and left Hogwarts at the top of his year
**Hermione got a bad grade on ANYTHING
**Voldie turned out to be a good guy, and Dumbledore was the one responsible for all of the evil caused.
**The Hogwarts students fell into the Twighlight Zone, and it became Hogwarts, Prison for Juvenile Delinquents, and they were the prisoners.
**Snape's favorite early-morning activity was to put on a pair of pink swimming trunks with little blue hearts all over them, and go swimming in the lake
**Snape showed up for Potions in a hula-skirt and coconut bra (A/N: I can't remember what it's called!) and spent the whole period teaching the class how to properly move their hips while doing a hula-dance
**Somebody actually read this fic
**They liked it
**And laughed at least once
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I know, I know. But I'm getting better at this. Lemme know how it went; R/R!!
Wouldn't it be weird if:
** Lucius divorced Narcissa, married Trelawney, and kept Molly Weasley as his lover
**Voldie had a secret crush on Harry, and was only out to get him so he could butt-rape him
**Harry was also crushing on Voldie
**Dumbledore and Hagrid were having an affair
**Snape was in on the affair (without them knowing it), videotaping everything they did and getting off on it each night as he sat alone in his dungeon. (eeewww....)
**Krum had a crush on Harry
**Draco had a crush on Harry
**Snape had a crush on Harry
**All of J.K. Rowling's characters had a crush on Harry
**Voldie watched TV in his free time (when he wasn't reeking havoc over "non-believers" and Muggles) and his favorite show was "King of the Hill"
**In order to graduate from HS, you had to be able to list (and correctly pronounce) all of the Curses, Charms, and Incantations named in the books, and you had to tell the motion of wand an arm as well. (A/N: that would rock, really, because then I might actually have some hope of graduating in the top half of my class.)
**Harry grew up to be the Potions Master
**Somebody tried to change their name to that of one of the characters. (A/N: Jessica Dean=Neville Longbottom...lol, Fawn. Sorry guys, inside joke!)
**Neville Longbottom got top scores on his N.E.W.T.s and left Hogwarts at the top of his year
**Hermione got a bad grade on ANYTHING
**Voldie turned out to be a good guy, and Dumbledore was the one responsible for all of the evil caused.
**The Hogwarts students fell into the Twighlight Zone, and it became Hogwarts, Prison for Juvenile Delinquents, and they were the prisoners.
**Snape's favorite early-morning activity was to put on a pair of pink swimming trunks with little blue hearts all over them, and go swimming in the lake
**Snape showed up for Potions in a hula-skirt and coconut bra (A/N: I can't remember what it's called!) and spent the whole period teaching the class how to properly move their hips while doing a hula-dance
**Somebody actually read this fic
**They liked it
**And laughed at least once
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I know, I know. But I'm getting better at this. Lemme know how it went; R/R!!