Title: Buffy and Faith the Redemption
By: Me, BtVSLover
disclaimer: yeah yeah, we know this one, you read it at the start of every story my disclaimer won't be any different from anybody elses
Summary: Buffy thinks about Faith and why exactly she should be in Jail
Thanks: a big hello to my Beta Kait, thanks a lot for making this story make sence to people
Chapter 1
~~~
It was generally a nice day and the Scoobies, including Giles who had returned from England, were sitting in the Magic Shop. Willow and Tara were doing Tarot readings for each other, Anya was behind the counter and Xander was sitting across the counter from her on a chair he'd pulled up. Dawn was seated at the large research table with Giles, both of whom were looking at Buffy who was staring off into space.
Buffy turned and caught sight of her Watcher and sister watching her and frowned slightly then arched an eyebrow at the pair, "What's up?" she asked casually.
"Nothing, really," Giles said, "It's just that you've been staring off into space for awhile now and I was wondering what you were thinking about," he continued.
Buffy looked sadly at Giles as she debated with herself whether she should share. Coming to a decision, she sighed slightly, "Death, Murder and Faith," she said, putting a small pause between each word as she thought about it. "Mostly though I've been thinking about Faith."
"What about Faith?" Giles asked. It was the first time Buffy had really talked about Faith since she had gone to jail and he wondered why it would suddenly come to mind now.
Buffy opened her mouth to speak but then looked around the room at the different people; Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, then turned back to Giles and shook her head. "Nothing. I learned my lesson with keeping secrets," she said, then paused with a slightly pained expression. "I just... I want to go and visit Faith," she said, lowering her voice slightly.
Giles' eyes widened, "You want to visit Faith?" he said, a tad too loud as all sound in the shop died away and attention turned to the research table. Giles winced slightly.
All were silent for a second then, "Who'd want to visit that physco?" Xander asked.
Buffy just glared at Giles for a second then looked up at Xander, "Just forget it Xander, don't worry about it," she said, trying to calm the situation down a little.
"Do you really think it's a good idea for us to just forget you want to go and visit a physco murderer Buffy?" Xander asked sarcastically, "Remember the last time you kept secrets about physco murderers?" he asked.
Buffy just glared then stood up and walked towards the backroom door, stopping just before going though. She turned and looked at the group, "She wasn't the only murderer in this group," she said, then disappeared from sight.
Giles actually flinched at the words from Buffy. As far as he was aware, nobody had seen what he had done to Ben. He started to get up to go and speak to Buffy, but Willow beat him too it.
"It's ok Giles," she said, touching him on the arm, "I'll speak to her," she said, then looked over at Xander. "Sometimes I have to wonder if you really are her friend or somebody who delights in throwing things in her face," she said, then disappeared through the backroom door, closing it behind her.
Xander just remained quiet, looking at the ground to avoid looking at anybody else in the room. He could practically feel the glares he was getting from everybody in the room, Anya included it seemed. He'd done it again. He wondered if he would ever learn to think about what he was going to say before he said it.
~~~
In the backroom, Buffy was facing up to one of the heavy punching bags, which she was casually, more or less, tapping at with her fists every now and then. She looked up when Willow stepped in and closed the door behind her and rolled her eyes. "At least you're better than Xander," she muttered, "You'll quietly question my sanity behind closed doors."
Willow ignored that as she took a seat nearby on one of the pommel horses. "What did you mean when you said, 'She wasn't the only murderer'?" Willow asked.
Buffy turned away from the bag and looked at Willow in shock then shook her head. "You honestly don't know?" Buffy asked, laughing softly and actually gave Willow a hug, "Do you know what I love best about you Willow? Your innocence," Buffy said, answering her own question before moving back to the punching bag.
Willow just sat there, surprised. It wasn't often that Buffy told people how she felt about them, at least not when she felt something good about a person. On the other hand, she didn't hesitate to tell her enemy what she though of them, and Buffy just wasn't a hugger.
"Do you know why Faith is in jail?" Buffy asked, breaking into Willow's line of babbled thought. "It's for the murder of two people and because I told her that's what I wanted," Buffy said, going on and answering her own question again. "No evidence that she did it and no witnesses either, just Faith's word," she said, talking casually. "When I talked to Angel, I asked about her and he said she's changed a great deal. I don't want Faith in jail anymore," Buffy finished off.
"But she is a murderer," Willow said, her voice toneless. It seemed Buffy was more or less talking to herself and that Willow was just along for the ride through Buffy's thoughts. That, and Buffy seemed to have a big secret. Willow knew Buffy well enough that she would work up to telling sooner or later, but in her own time.
Buffy shook her head and sat by Willow, "She only committed one murder. The second one was as much my fault as Faith's, if not more mine," Buffy said, pausing. Her eyes looked off into the distance, "He came out of nowhere, a nearby shadow right into the middle of a fight, I just grabbed him and threw him towards Faith. I'd lost my stake or I'd have done it myself, it wasn't until Faith had actually started to plunge the stake into his chest that the fact he had a body temp registered."
Willow sat in silence for a time. She was aware that the first death had been an accident because Buffy had said so, herself back then.
"I was afraid," Buffy said again, breaking Willow's line of thought. "Ted hadn't been so long ago, not in my mind anyway and everybody's reaction to that little accident, even after we found out what Ted wasn't exactly right was still very fresh on my mind. After that Faith and I never really got a chance to make our peace. Well, not a real chance. Something always got in the way and refreshed everything that had happened."
Willow nodded her head. She remembered Buffy wanting to believe that Faith would be different after being in a coma and being 'right' again, but of course that hadn't happened.
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm such a good person," Buffy said, her eyes still looking off into the distance. "I'm serious," she continued, before Willow could get a word in edgewise, "Sometimes I wonder if I'm the right person to be the Slayer."
"Buffy, listen to me. You are meant to be the Slayer, you care about people and you care if people live or die. You're much better then Faith." Willow opened her mouth to make further comparisons between the two slayers but was cut off by Buffy's laughing.
Except it wasn't a laugh of amusement, it was a bitter laugh. "I'm not better then Faith, Willow," she said, shaking her head and standing up to put some distance between Willow and herself. "I'm worse than Faith, she at least regrets killing the two people she killed, but I don't regret the people I killed and I didn't bother to keep count either," she said, turning around and looking at Willow.
Willow was shocked and horrified at what Buffy was actually saying, as it made an impression on her mind 'Buffy didn't regret killing people. What people had she killed?' a small part of her mind asked.
Buffy actually laughed again. "What Willow?" she asked, her voice harsh, "Did you think that those knights would go away if I asked them nicely?" Buffy asked, taking a seat on another bench. The harshness drained out of her and she just looked tired and small.
"Sometimes I see their faces in my dreams," Buffy said, her eyes again looking off into the distance, "Sometimes I kill them, sometimes they kill me, sometimes I let them kill Dawn," Buffy went on, and even the tone of her voice was tired and tinged with fear.
Silence fell for a few seconds after that and Willow looked over at Buffy who was now silent, her eyes glazed whilst tears ran down her face. She stood up and walked over to sit beside her best friend, putting an arm around Buffy's shoulders, and Buffy turned and leant on Willow, tears still silently running down her cheeks.
"I think I know why Slayers die so young," Buffy said, as she started talking again, "In the end we can't take it, not when all the evil and horror starts to stack up and in the end we just can't take the weight so we get crushed eventually." A small pause fell on the room, "Sometimes I wonder how much longer it will take until I'm crushed," she continued on, vocalizing her thoughts.
Willow put her other arm around her friend, to try and stop the trembles that were now racking Buffy's body. It was terrifying to see Buffy like this on a scale that couldn't be beaten. In no way had Willow ever seen Buffy ever break down this much, even at her darkest moments Buffy never gave up, never questioned that things would always end up as a foiled attempt by the bad guys. Even against Glory and Angelus, Buffy hadn't been this low.
New paragraph
"Why do you want to visit Faith?" she asked gently, her voice little more then a whisper. Already she could feel the dampness on her shoulder from Buffy's tears.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, "I know she won't make it better, she could make it worse. But I made her go to jail in the end and it was her only option to prove that she could and would change. Now, it's not an option at all, I'm probably making a huge mistake getting her loose, but I don't care. Why should she be in prison and not me? I know I can't afford to go to jail if I'm the only Slayer so why should Faith?"
TBC, maybe
By: Me, BtVSLover
disclaimer: yeah yeah, we know this one, you read it at the start of every story my disclaimer won't be any different from anybody elses
Summary: Buffy thinks about Faith and why exactly she should be in Jail
Thanks: a big hello to my Beta Kait, thanks a lot for making this story make sence to people
Chapter 1
~~~
It was generally a nice day and the Scoobies, including Giles who had returned from England, were sitting in the Magic Shop. Willow and Tara were doing Tarot readings for each other, Anya was behind the counter and Xander was sitting across the counter from her on a chair he'd pulled up. Dawn was seated at the large research table with Giles, both of whom were looking at Buffy who was staring off into space.
Buffy turned and caught sight of her Watcher and sister watching her and frowned slightly then arched an eyebrow at the pair, "What's up?" she asked casually.
"Nothing, really," Giles said, "It's just that you've been staring off into space for awhile now and I was wondering what you were thinking about," he continued.
Buffy looked sadly at Giles as she debated with herself whether she should share. Coming to a decision, she sighed slightly, "Death, Murder and Faith," she said, putting a small pause between each word as she thought about it. "Mostly though I've been thinking about Faith."
"What about Faith?" Giles asked. It was the first time Buffy had really talked about Faith since she had gone to jail and he wondered why it would suddenly come to mind now.
Buffy opened her mouth to speak but then looked around the room at the different people; Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, then turned back to Giles and shook her head. "Nothing. I learned my lesson with keeping secrets," she said, then paused with a slightly pained expression. "I just... I want to go and visit Faith," she said, lowering her voice slightly.
Giles' eyes widened, "You want to visit Faith?" he said, a tad too loud as all sound in the shop died away and attention turned to the research table. Giles winced slightly.
All were silent for a second then, "Who'd want to visit that physco?" Xander asked.
Buffy just glared at Giles for a second then looked up at Xander, "Just forget it Xander, don't worry about it," she said, trying to calm the situation down a little.
"Do you really think it's a good idea for us to just forget you want to go and visit a physco murderer Buffy?" Xander asked sarcastically, "Remember the last time you kept secrets about physco murderers?" he asked.
Buffy just glared then stood up and walked towards the backroom door, stopping just before going though. She turned and looked at the group, "She wasn't the only murderer in this group," she said, then disappeared from sight.
Giles actually flinched at the words from Buffy. As far as he was aware, nobody had seen what he had done to Ben. He started to get up to go and speak to Buffy, but Willow beat him too it.
"It's ok Giles," she said, touching him on the arm, "I'll speak to her," she said, then looked over at Xander. "Sometimes I have to wonder if you really are her friend or somebody who delights in throwing things in her face," she said, then disappeared through the backroom door, closing it behind her.
Xander just remained quiet, looking at the ground to avoid looking at anybody else in the room. He could practically feel the glares he was getting from everybody in the room, Anya included it seemed. He'd done it again. He wondered if he would ever learn to think about what he was going to say before he said it.
~~~
In the backroom, Buffy was facing up to one of the heavy punching bags, which she was casually, more or less, tapping at with her fists every now and then. She looked up when Willow stepped in and closed the door behind her and rolled her eyes. "At least you're better than Xander," she muttered, "You'll quietly question my sanity behind closed doors."
Willow ignored that as she took a seat nearby on one of the pommel horses. "What did you mean when you said, 'She wasn't the only murderer'?" Willow asked.
Buffy turned away from the bag and looked at Willow in shock then shook her head. "You honestly don't know?" Buffy asked, laughing softly and actually gave Willow a hug, "Do you know what I love best about you Willow? Your innocence," Buffy said, answering her own question before moving back to the punching bag.
Willow just sat there, surprised. It wasn't often that Buffy told people how she felt about them, at least not when she felt something good about a person. On the other hand, she didn't hesitate to tell her enemy what she though of them, and Buffy just wasn't a hugger.
"Do you know why Faith is in jail?" Buffy asked, breaking into Willow's line of babbled thought. "It's for the murder of two people and because I told her that's what I wanted," Buffy said, going on and answering her own question again. "No evidence that she did it and no witnesses either, just Faith's word," she said, talking casually. "When I talked to Angel, I asked about her and he said she's changed a great deal. I don't want Faith in jail anymore," Buffy finished off.
"But she is a murderer," Willow said, her voice toneless. It seemed Buffy was more or less talking to herself and that Willow was just along for the ride through Buffy's thoughts. That, and Buffy seemed to have a big secret. Willow knew Buffy well enough that she would work up to telling sooner or later, but in her own time.
Buffy shook her head and sat by Willow, "She only committed one murder. The second one was as much my fault as Faith's, if not more mine," Buffy said, pausing. Her eyes looked off into the distance, "He came out of nowhere, a nearby shadow right into the middle of a fight, I just grabbed him and threw him towards Faith. I'd lost my stake or I'd have done it myself, it wasn't until Faith had actually started to plunge the stake into his chest that the fact he had a body temp registered."
Willow sat in silence for a time. She was aware that the first death had been an accident because Buffy had said so, herself back then.
"I was afraid," Buffy said again, breaking Willow's line of thought. "Ted hadn't been so long ago, not in my mind anyway and everybody's reaction to that little accident, even after we found out what Ted wasn't exactly right was still very fresh on my mind. After that Faith and I never really got a chance to make our peace. Well, not a real chance. Something always got in the way and refreshed everything that had happened."
Willow nodded her head. She remembered Buffy wanting to believe that Faith would be different after being in a coma and being 'right' again, but of course that hadn't happened.
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm such a good person," Buffy said, her eyes still looking off into the distance. "I'm serious," she continued, before Willow could get a word in edgewise, "Sometimes I wonder if I'm the right person to be the Slayer."
"Buffy, listen to me. You are meant to be the Slayer, you care about people and you care if people live or die. You're much better then Faith." Willow opened her mouth to make further comparisons between the two slayers but was cut off by Buffy's laughing.
Except it wasn't a laugh of amusement, it was a bitter laugh. "I'm not better then Faith, Willow," she said, shaking her head and standing up to put some distance between Willow and herself. "I'm worse than Faith, she at least regrets killing the two people she killed, but I don't regret the people I killed and I didn't bother to keep count either," she said, turning around and looking at Willow.
Willow was shocked and horrified at what Buffy was actually saying, as it made an impression on her mind 'Buffy didn't regret killing people. What people had she killed?' a small part of her mind asked.
Buffy actually laughed again. "What Willow?" she asked, her voice harsh, "Did you think that those knights would go away if I asked them nicely?" Buffy asked, taking a seat on another bench. The harshness drained out of her and she just looked tired and small.
"Sometimes I see their faces in my dreams," Buffy said, her eyes again looking off into the distance, "Sometimes I kill them, sometimes they kill me, sometimes I let them kill Dawn," Buffy went on, and even the tone of her voice was tired and tinged with fear.
Silence fell for a few seconds after that and Willow looked over at Buffy who was now silent, her eyes glazed whilst tears ran down her face. She stood up and walked over to sit beside her best friend, putting an arm around Buffy's shoulders, and Buffy turned and leant on Willow, tears still silently running down her cheeks.
"I think I know why Slayers die so young," Buffy said, as she started talking again, "In the end we can't take it, not when all the evil and horror starts to stack up and in the end we just can't take the weight so we get crushed eventually." A small pause fell on the room, "Sometimes I wonder how much longer it will take until I'm crushed," she continued on, vocalizing her thoughts.
Willow put her other arm around her friend, to try and stop the trembles that were now racking Buffy's body. It was terrifying to see Buffy like this on a scale that couldn't be beaten. In no way had Willow ever seen Buffy ever break down this much, even at her darkest moments Buffy never gave up, never questioned that things would always end up as a foiled attempt by the bad guys. Even against Glory and Angelus, Buffy hadn't been this low.
New paragraph
"Why do you want to visit Faith?" she asked gently, her voice little more then a whisper. Already she could feel the dampness on her shoulder from Buffy's tears.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, "I know she won't make it better, she could make it worse. But I made her go to jail in the end and it was her only option to prove that she could and would change. Now, it's not an option at all, I'm probably making a huge mistake getting her loose, but I don't care. Why should she be in prison and not me? I know I can't afford to go to jail if I'm the only Slayer so why should Faith?"
TBC, maybe