Blade: We're back! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, your favorite talkshow is-
Qui-Gon: I get to be a host? Really??
Blade: What are you going on about, Jinn-and-tonic?
Qui-Gon: Jinn-and… what? (He scratches his head, then shrugs) I got voted to be a host!
Obi-Wan: So did I.
Qui-Gon: (folds his arms into his sleeves and gives a regal look) Who's the Padawan?
Obi-Wan: …I'm the Padawan…
Qui-Gon: And who's your master?
Obi-Wan: (sighs) Qui-Gon is my Master…
Qui-Gon: Who gets to host?
Obi-Wan: (mutters) You.
Anakin: Hah! Now you know how I feel!
Obi-Wan: No Anakin, nobody knows how you feel. Besides, I'm not an abusive master!
Qui-Gon and Aquel: WHAT??
Obi-Wan: Uh… nothing…
Blade: Fine, Qui-Gon Jinngersnap cookies, you can host.
Qui-Gon: Jinnger… what?? I'm confused…
Aquel: Aww, my poor Qui is-
Blade: HEY! You stay away from him, creepy!
Qui-Gon: As first act as a host, I'm getting rid of this ridiculous sign. (He uses the Force to shred the offending smooching sign)
Blade: Wait, you can't do that!!
Qui-Gon: Yes I can! (smooches Aquel)
Everyone: Eeew…. Old people porn….
Blade: Can you please start the questioning?
Qui-Gon: Oh fine, have it your way. (picks up the little questioner datapad) Biblehermione, you're up!
Biblehermione: Dex- Here, you need this. *hands over a bottle of Shout!*
Dex: (takes the bottle and sniffs it) This smells quite offensive!
Tarkin: Not as offensive as you, greasy!
Dex: Hey! Watch who you're callin' greasy!
Jareth: (takes a sniff) Hey… this is the stuff I use.
Blade: For your speedo pants?
Jareth: My… what?
Biblehermione: Anakin- Kelly loves you. She played that shirtless scene over 10 times in slow mo then licked the screen.
Anakin: O.o
Luke: Gross! I don't want to know this stuff!!
Leia: People would have licked the screen when you were in the bacta tank on Hoth if the glass hadn't made you look like a fat man in a diaper.
Fat Bastard: I resent that!
Leia: O.o
Biblehermione: Obi- I got the CUTEST vision the other night! You and Padme kissing! Awwww!
Anakin: WHAT??
Obi-Wan: (glances around furtively, then leans over and gives Padme a big kiss)
Audience: Awww…
Anakin: (foams at the mouth)
Obi-Wan: (grin)
Biblehermione: Leia- How long is your hair?
Leia: Just long enough to roll into danish shapes.
Biblehermione: Luke- I named my baby brother after you. :)
Luke: Really?? Coool!
Mara: We named our son after Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan: Really?
Mara: Yes.
Aquel: (sniffling) She turned out so well, didn't she?
Mara: …beg your pardon?
Aquel: Oh, uh… nothing.
Blade: (mutters) Stupid inner personalities messing with my plot…
Biblehermione: Mace- DUDE! You are so cool! You were a question on The Weakest Link. O.o
Mace: I… was? (flattered) Why thank you.
Blade: Yes, but nobody kicks as much booty as Darthy-boy Vader.
Vader: (heavy breathing)
Blade: (jabs Qui-Gon with a sharp stick) HEY! Next questioner! Now!
Qui-Gon: Ow! Fine! (looks at datapad) Oh dear.
Blade: What?
Qui-Gon: Saturn's next.
Anakin: Aaa! Anything but that!!
Blade: Hey! She brought the remote! Cool!! (takes it and presses a few buttons)
Anakin: Aaaaa!!! (his arm flies off and sparks around on the floor)
Blade: (sniggers and hands the remote back to Saturn) Go ahead and whack fruitbar man with the bubbly hammer.
Saturn: (beats Anakin over the head with a pink bubble-hammer)
Sagedate: (Suddenly pops in) Obi, you are going to call me right?
Obi-Wan: Wha-
Aleena: (pops in also) go away!! stop hitting on my lover!! once in the lift was one thing but-
Obi-Wan: (looking very confused and distraught)
Saturn: SHUT UP!! YOU'RE GIVING AWAY STUFF IN MAH FIC!!
Sagedate: what? oh you mean like how Tarika and Obi are-
Saturn: SHUT UP!! *whacks Sagedate with bubble hammer*
Aleena: WHAT?!
Padme: What???
Obi-Wan: (gulps)
Blade: Just how many lovers have you had, Obi-Wan?
Obi-Wan: Uh… well… (gulps)
Blade: Can I be one??
Obi-Wan: NO!!
Blade: Aww…
Qui-Gon: O.o
Aquel: (waves a hand) Wohoo, over here!
Qui-Gon: Oh… yes. (goes back to smooching Aquel)
Blade: Hey! You've got a job to do!!
Qui-Gon: (ignores her)
Blade: Grrr…. (steals the host microphone and gives it to Obi-Wan) There. Now host!!
Obi-Wan: Yay! (hugs the mike) Here's an old friend, Celeb Ryu the Jedi!
Celeb: MACE!! (coughs) Er, I mean… hullo, Master Windu.
Mace: (edges away) Hello Celeb…
Blade: Oh dear…
Celeb: I've got a question for you, Mace. Will you sleep-
Mace: NO!!
Celeb: Aww…
Blade: O.o
Celeb: I've got another question. (whispers something in Mace's ear)
Mace: WHAT??
Celeb: You heard me.
Mace: I refuse to divulge that information, especially to a stalker!!
Celeb: Aww…
Obi-Wan: O.o; Ok, Thalia has some questions…
Thalia: 1) Has anyone ever noticed that in anime kids shows, the grand father's always the one in trouble. I mean, in English stuff, it;'s the attractive member of the opposite sex, but no, not in Japan. What's up with that? I hate those stupid shows. Die, shows, die!
Blade: You're right… the creepy old man syndrome. (shudder)
Thrawn: What did that have to do with Star Wars?
Blade: Nothing.
Thrawn: Oh. All right.
Thalia: 2)Dex,what's up with you? I mean, really. What's your problem? You haven't been laid in a while, have you? Or do you and Obi-Wan have something going on that we should know about...?
Obi-Wan: O.O!!!
Dex: I'm highly offended by that question! I would never be unfaithful to my droid- er, I mean… my wife.
Everyone: Eeeew……..
Thalia: 3) What do you think of all the weird pairings. I've read alot that you wouldn't be so pleased with. Yoda/Chewie, Emperor/Jar-Jar, Jango/Obi-wan/R2-D2... well, no, but what do you do, what *Do* you do?
Chewbacca: RWWF????? (tears a few things apart)
Obi-Wan: O.o;
Blade: Emperor/Jar-Jar? Now that's funny…
Obi-Wan: I think I'm going to be sick…
Blade: And one last thing: an apology to Satine Kenobi. I'll try not to torment my dearest Kenobi-Wan so very much anymore. And there concludes the second chapter! Though I must say, I'm a little disappointed…
Jareth: Whatever for?
Blade: (shrugs) We didn't get as many questions as I thought we would. But I'm not complaining! Remember, folks, this fic depends on your questions, even the random, stupid ones! Oh, and we need a new host. (steals the magical hosting mike from Obi-Wan) So vote! 'Till next time!