Disclaimer: I've said it before, but if you insist...
noneofthisbelongstomeitisTAMORAPIERCE'Syouseethatitshersnotmineijustwrotethe
plotandnoiamnotapolarbearindisguise.
A/N: Hey! I'm back! Did ya miss me? I know ya missed me! I can't believe it! Three more reviews! Yay! They like me; they really, really like me!
Silva Sun: Thank you very much. I am an evil genius. And I am a girl if you're wondering.
Starlet: Thank you. I think I really captured the essence of Josaine.
Lady Knight: You are my loyal reviewer. Hmmm, what to do with Liam...
Episode 3: Tutus and Pop Stars. (Don't ask)
Host: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Survivor: Tortall Edition. I'm a bit over-medicated at the moment so lets get back to the camp...
George: *with Alanna* Well, we got rid of Delia, but we're still stuck with the nutcase over there.
Josaine: *Runs by wearing a disco outfit and a pink tutu* Guess what?
Alanna: (annoyed) What?
Josaine: A chameleon named Bob! *Runs off to do Goddess knows what* (A/N: I own Bob but my friend made him up. He is copyrighted and I will sue! He He, back to the show...)
Jon: *walks over to Alanna and George* so, whassup?
Alanna: (stilled annoyed) Stop trying to be cool, Jon, 'cause your not.
George: Diss!
Jon: That hurts.
**Meanwhile**
*Thayet is cooking rice and is approached by Liam. *
Liam: Hey, Thayet.
Thayet: Hi.
Liam: So, what's for dinner?
Thayet: (wonders why he's bothering her) Rice, just like every night.
Liam: Oh, 'cause I was just wondering... can you help me!
Thayet: (is sympathetic but curious) With what?
Liam: I have no allies! Delia said I'd be safe with her but now she's gone and Josaine actually voted for me when I had immunity!
Thayet: Well...
Liam: Please? (Gives her puppy-dog eyes)
Thayet: (can never resist puppy-dog eyes) Okay. Jon is starting to annoy me any way. I think he's trying to flirt with Alanna! Of course, he never was very good at flirting. The only things he really has going for him are the facts that he's the king and he's hot! He flirts with everyone!
Liam: Yes, and how does that make you feel?
**On other side of camp**
George: I was supposed to collect some firewood, so I'll see you later.
Alanna: Bye Honey! *George leaves, Alanna sits down to sharpen her dagger*
Jon: *sits down too* So, Alanna, whatchya doin'?
Alanna: (still annoyed) Sharpening my dagger, what does it look like I'm doing?
Jon: What for?
Alanna: (exasperated sigh) I just am. Haven't you got anything better to do?
Jon: Like what?
Alanna: Go annoy Thayet or something. She's the one who has to plead temporary insanity for agreeing to marry you.
Jon: Wait a minute was that an insult?
Alanna: (sarcastically) No! Of course not! Jon: Good. So, you want to dump George and marry me?
Alanna: What!!!!!!!!! What the **** is wrong with you!!!!!!!
Jon: No, I'm serious. Thayet is really boring.
Alanna: There is something seriously wrong with you! (Gets up to leave) What an ***.
Jon: What?
**Back to Therapy- uh, I mean Thayet**
Thayet: (her face is red and blotchy, like she's been crying) Thanks, Liam, you're a really good listener.
Liam: Okay, same time next week?
Thayet: Sure. (Sees Alanna and runs over to hug her) Oh Alanna! I'm so sorry!
Alanna: Sorry for what?
Thayet: For being jealous of you for all this time! I knew that you were the one Jon really loved! And I thought you might actually still have feelings for Jon but-
Alanna: What! Thayet, you know I love George!
Thayet: Yes, I know. I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?
Alanna: Sure, isn't that what friends are for?
*Thayet and Alanna hug while Thayet is still sobbing quietly*
Liam: Wonderful! I'm so glad you've made closure on such a delicate topic!
$*Reward Challenge*$
Host: Hello and welcome to Challenge Beach! This week's reward challenge is for shampoo and conditioner, since none of you have had a real bath in weeks.
Alanna: And whose fault is that!
Writer: Okay, just shut up, you mouthy little ****! (A/N: Yes, its from Sugar and Spice)
Alanna: Bring It On, *****!
Writer: Okay, fine!
I said burr, its cold in here I said there must be some Tauros in the atmosphere!
I said burr, its cold in here I said there must be some Tauros in the atmosphere!
I said, OhEeOhEeOh, Ice Ice Ice!
I said-
Alanna: Excuse me, but what the **** do you think your doing!
Writer: You said Bring It On! Oh, never mind! Just go back to the challenge!
Alanna: That was weird.
Josaine: Guess what!
Host: What?
Josaine: A chameleon named Bob!
Host: Right. Okay, to win the reward you have to, um. hold on, I know this!
Writer: Great Mother Goddess! What are you, slow! Or just an all around idiot!
Host: Um.
Writer: Never mind! Which medicine did you take this morning?
Host: Duh! I took the blue one.
Writer: You moron! You were supposed to take the green one!
Host: Oh.
Writer: Go to your room! I'll be the host today.
Host: But.
Writer: Now!
Host: Yes ma'am.
Writer: Good. Now the challenge is. TRUTH OR DARE!
Jon: *Gasp! * Wait, why is that so bad?
Thayet: Ooh! Jon has to tell us all of his secrets!
Jon: Aaaahhh! Noooooooo!
Writer: I know, I'm an evil genius. Now, the rules are; if you refuse to answer a question or complete a dare, you will be eliminated. Randomly chosen to go first was George!
George: Okay, I choose Jon, Truth or Dare?
Jon: Um, I guess I'll choose.
Alanna: Hurry up, we don't have all day!
Jon: Okay, um, truth.
George: Fine. How old are you?
Jon: What! I'm not answering that!
Alanna: Ooh! I will!
Jon: Shut-up! I won't answer that!
Writer: Fine. Your out! Next person to ask a question is Liam.
Liam: Wow, well, I guess I'll pick Josaine.
Josaine: Dare! Bob! Bubble gum!
Liam: I'll ignore that last part. Josaine, I dare you to.
A/N: Welcome back to the club of extremely lazy people. I also can't think of anything else to make them do so.
Writer: Congratulations Alanna! You have won Shampoo and Conditioner!
Alanna: Yes! I get to wash my hair! And, cuz I'm such a nice person, I'll share, but only with certain people who I like!
Jon: Does that include me?
Alanna: No, cuz you'll probably use up the whole bottle.
Jon: Hey! It's not easy getting my hair to this silky sheen!
Thayet: Whatever.
Writer: All right, go back to camp.
$*Back at Camp*$
(Thayet and Alanna are washing their hair)
Thayet: You are so nice Alanna. It feels great to finally wash my hair again.
Alanna: So who do you think we should vote off?
Thayet: Jon. I'm really pissed at him right now.
Alanna: Yeah, he can be a real ******* sometimes.
Thayet: And the funniest part is, he thinks he's like the Gods gift to women.
Alanna: Yeah, well, we'll just let him think that.
$*Immunity Challenge*$
Writer: Hello, and welcome to the immunity challenge. For this weeks challenge, you will have to sing a song that I have selected!
Josaine: Yeah! Bob! Random comment!
Writer: Some one really needs to get her to a therapist.
Thayet: Ooh, I know some one!
Writer: Shut up Thayet! This isn't Dr. Phil! First up is Jon! You will have to sing Just A Friend by Mario.
Jon: What?
Writer: Hey! It's either that or Mariah Carey!
Jon: I'll stick with Mario.
I wanna know your name and I wanna know if you got a man I wanna know I wanna know everything I wanna know your number and If I can come over and I wanna know what ya like I wanna know so I can do it all night But you're telling me I'm just a friend You're telling me I'm just a friend Oh baby you Got what I need But you say I'm just a friend But you say I'm just a friend Cuz I can be Your fantasy But you say I'm just a friend But you say I'm just a friend Give me one reason why You wouldn't want this kind of guy Cuz I stay hip I stay laced And I know you know I'm fly-
Thayet: Boo! You suck!
Jon: Wah!
Writer: Thayet, your turn. You will sing What A Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera.
Thayet: Okay, I'll try.
What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes me happy, sets you free, and I'm thanking you, for giving it to me. That's all I know.
Writer: Well I guess that'll do. Josaine, You will sing-
Josaine: BOB!
Writer: No, not Bob-
Josaine: BOB! Where's Bob? (Runs off to find Bob)
Writer: Okay, George, I guess you're up next. You will sing Follow Me by Uncle Kracker.
George: I'll try.
You don't know how you met me, you don't know why you can't turn around and say good-bye.
All you know is when I'm with you, I make you free, and swim through your veins like a fish in the sea, I'm singin' Follow me, everything is all right. I'll be the one to tuck you in at night, and if you want to leave, I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me. I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear, cause as long as no one knows, then nobody could care.
You're feelin' guilty, and I'm well aware, but you don't look ashamed, and baby, I'm not scared.
I'm singin' Follow me, everything is all right. I'll be the one to tuck you in at night, and if you want to leave, I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me.
Writer: Okay, thank you George. Next is Liam. You will sing Pop by *NSYNC. (A/N: I must be the meanest person alive!)
Liam: Do I have to?
Writer: Yes, otherwise I will make you sing Nelly Furtado!
Liam: *Looks horrified at the thought of singing a Nelly Furtado song* Okay.
Dirty Pop Sick and tired of hearin' all these people talk about
What's the deal with this pop life
and when is it gonna fade out?
The thing you got to realize is
What we're doing is not a trend
We got the gift of melody
We gonna bring it 'til the end
Come on now...
It doesn't matter
'Bout the car I drive
What I wear around my neck
All that matters
Is that you recognize
That it's just about respect
It doesn't matter
'Bout the clothes I wear
and where I go and why
All that matters
Is that you get hyped
and we'll do it to you every time
Do you ever wonder why (why)
This music gets you high
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when
Your body starts to rock
and baby you can't stop
and the music's all you got
This must be-
Writer: Okay, we really don't want to hear any more. Now, last, but not least Alanna.
Alanna: ****! I was hoping you forgot me.
Writer: No such luck. You will have to sing Britney Spears!
Alanna: Noooooooooooo! Anything but that!
Writer: Fine! You will sing Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink.
Alanna: Fine.
I never win 1st place
I don't support the team
I can't take direction
And my socks are never clean
Teachers dated me
My parents hated me
I was always in a fight
'Cause I can't do nothing right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
Can't take the person staring back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't want to be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
LA told me
You'll be a pop star
All you have to change
Is everything you are
Tired of being compared
To damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty
That just ain't me
So doctor doctor won't you please prescribe me something
A day in the life of someone else
Writer: Good job everyone! And the winner is.
A/N: Should I stop here? Please, I'm not that mean!
Writer: And the winner is. George!
George: Really? I won?
Writer: Yeah, so lets go to Tribal Council!
$*Tribal Council*$
Writer: George, you vote first.
George: Why isn't Josaine gone yet! Once again, I vote for her.
Alanna: Jon. What an *******.
Thayet: What the **** do you think? Jon!
Jon: Is Thayet mad at me? Oh well. I'll vote for Liam. I really don't know why.
Liam: Josaine. She is really annoying!
Josaine: I vote for myself! Bob! I lost Bob!
Writer: Okay, and it's a tie between Jon.
Jon: What!
Writer: .and Josaine.
Josaine: Yay! Bob!
Writer: Now you, the readers (and hopefully reviewers) get to tell me who you think you should leave the island. You'll have to wait for the next episode of Survivor: Tortall Edition!
A/N: You will review! You will review! Does anyone know if it's possible to hypnotize people on the internet? Oh well, Please Review!
A/N: Hey! I'm back! Did ya miss me? I know ya missed me! I can't believe it! Three more reviews! Yay! They like me; they really, really like me!
Silva Sun: Thank you very much. I am an evil genius. And I am a girl if you're wondering.
Starlet: Thank you. I think I really captured the essence of Josaine.
Lady Knight: You are my loyal reviewer. Hmmm, what to do with Liam...
Episode 3: Tutus and Pop Stars. (Don't ask)
Host: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Survivor: Tortall Edition. I'm a bit over-medicated at the moment so lets get back to the camp...
George: *with Alanna* Well, we got rid of Delia, but we're still stuck with the nutcase over there.
Josaine: *Runs by wearing a disco outfit and a pink tutu* Guess what?
Alanna: (annoyed) What?
Josaine: A chameleon named Bob! *Runs off to do Goddess knows what* (A/N: I own Bob but my friend made him up. He is copyrighted and I will sue! He He, back to the show...)
Jon: *walks over to Alanna and George* so, whassup?
Alanna: (stilled annoyed) Stop trying to be cool, Jon, 'cause your not.
George: Diss!
Jon: That hurts.
**Meanwhile**
*Thayet is cooking rice and is approached by Liam. *
Liam: Hey, Thayet.
Thayet: Hi.
Liam: So, what's for dinner?
Thayet: (wonders why he's bothering her) Rice, just like every night.
Liam: Oh, 'cause I was just wondering... can you help me!
Thayet: (is sympathetic but curious) With what?
Liam: I have no allies! Delia said I'd be safe with her but now she's gone and Josaine actually voted for me when I had immunity!
Thayet: Well...
Liam: Please? (Gives her puppy-dog eyes)
Thayet: (can never resist puppy-dog eyes) Okay. Jon is starting to annoy me any way. I think he's trying to flirt with Alanna! Of course, he never was very good at flirting. The only things he really has going for him are the facts that he's the king and he's hot! He flirts with everyone!
Liam: Yes, and how does that make you feel?
**On other side of camp**
George: I was supposed to collect some firewood, so I'll see you later.
Alanna: Bye Honey! *George leaves, Alanna sits down to sharpen her dagger*
Jon: *sits down too* So, Alanna, whatchya doin'?
Alanna: (still annoyed) Sharpening my dagger, what does it look like I'm doing?
Jon: What for?
Alanna: (exasperated sigh) I just am. Haven't you got anything better to do?
Jon: Like what?
Alanna: Go annoy Thayet or something. She's the one who has to plead temporary insanity for agreeing to marry you.
Jon: Wait a minute was that an insult?
Alanna: (sarcastically) No! Of course not! Jon: Good. So, you want to dump George and marry me?
Alanna: What!!!!!!!!! What the **** is wrong with you!!!!!!!
Jon: No, I'm serious. Thayet is really boring.
Alanna: There is something seriously wrong with you! (Gets up to leave) What an ***.
Jon: What?
**Back to Therapy- uh, I mean Thayet**
Thayet: (her face is red and blotchy, like she's been crying) Thanks, Liam, you're a really good listener.
Liam: Okay, same time next week?
Thayet: Sure. (Sees Alanna and runs over to hug her) Oh Alanna! I'm so sorry!
Alanna: Sorry for what?
Thayet: For being jealous of you for all this time! I knew that you were the one Jon really loved! And I thought you might actually still have feelings for Jon but-
Alanna: What! Thayet, you know I love George!
Thayet: Yes, I know. I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?
Alanna: Sure, isn't that what friends are for?
*Thayet and Alanna hug while Thayet is still sobbing quietly*
Liam: Wonderful! I'm so glad you've made closure on such a delicate topic!
$*Reward Challenge*$
Host: Hello and welcome to Challenge Beach! This week's reward challenge is for shampoo and conditioner, since none of you have had a real bath in weeks.
Alanna: And whose fault is that!
Writer: Okay, just shut up, you mouthy little ****! (A/N: Yes, its from Sugar and Spice)
Alanna: Bring It On, *****!
Writer: Okay, fine!
I said burr, its cold in here I said there must be some Tauros in the atmosphere!
I said burr, its cold in here I said there must be some Tauros in the atmosphere!
I said, OhEeOhEeOh, Ice Ice Ice!
I said-
Alanna: Excuse me, but what the **** do you think your doing!
Writer: You said Bring It On! Oh, never mind! Just go back to the challenge!
Alanna: That was weird.
Josaine: Guess what!
Host: What?
Josaine: A chameleon named Bob!
Host: Right. Okay, to win the reward you have to, um. hold on, I know this!
Writer: Great Mother Goddess! What are you, slow! Or just an all around idiot!
Host: Um.
Writer: Never mind! Which medicine did you take this morning?
Host: Duh! I took the blue one.
Writer: You moron! You were supposed to take the green one!
Host: Oh.
Writer: Go to your room! I'll be the host today.
Host: But.
Writer: Now!
Host: Yes ma'am.
Writer: Good. Now the challenge is. TRUTH OR DARE!
Jon: *Gasp! * Wait, why is that so bad?
Thayet: Ooh! Jon has to tell us all of his secrets!
Jon: Aaaahhh! Noooooooo!
Writer: I know, I'm an evil genius. Now, the rules are; if you refuse to answer a question or complete a dare, you will be eliminated. Randomly chosen to go first was George!
George: Okay, I choose Jon, Truth or Dare?
Jon: Um, I guess I'll choose.
Alanna: Hurry up, we don't have all day!
Jon: Okay, um, truth.
George: Fine. How old are you?
Jon: What! I'm not answering that!
Alanna: Ooh! I will!
Jon: Shut-up! I won't answer that!
Writer: Fine. Your out! Next person to ask a question is Liam.
Liam: Wow, well, I guess I'll pick Josaine.
Josaine: Dare! Bob! Bubble gum!
Liam: I'll ignore that last part. Josaine, I dare you to.
A/N: Welcome back to the club of extremely lazy people. I also can't think of anything else to make them do so.
Writer: Congratulations Alanna! You have won Shampoo and Conditioner!
Alanna: Yes! I get to wash my hair! And, cuz I'm such a nice person, I'll share, but only with certain people who I like!
Jon: Does that include me?
Alanna: No, cuz you'll probably use up the whole bottle.
Jon: Hey! It's not easy getting my hair to this silky sheen!
Thayet: Whatever.
Writer: All right, go back to camp.
$*Back at Camp*$
(Thayet and Alanna are washing their hair)
Thayet: You are so nice Alanna. It feels great to finally wash my hair again.
Alanna: So who do you think we should vote off?
Thayet: Jon. I'm really pissed at him right now.
Alanna: Yeah, he can be a real ******* sometimes.
Thayet: And the funniest part is, he thinks he's like the Gods gift to women.
Alanna: Yeah, well, we'll just let him think that.
$*Immunity Challenge*$
Writer: Hello, and welcome to the immunity challenge. For this weeks challenge, you will have to sing a song that I have selected!
Josaine: Yeah! Bob! Random comment!
Writer: Some one really needs to get her to a therapist.
Thayet: Ooh, I know some one!
Writer: Shut up Thayet! This isn't Dr. Phil! First up is Jon! You will have to sing Just A Friend by Mario.
Jon: What?
Writer: Hey! It's either that or Mariah Carey!
Jon: I'll stick with Mario.
I wanna know your name and I wanna know if you got a man I wanna know I wanna know everything I wanna know your number and If I can come over and I wanna know what ya like I wanna know so I can do it all night But you're telling me I'm just a friend You're telling me I'm just a friend Oh baby you Got what I need But you say I'm just a friend But you say I'm just a friend Cuz I can be Your fantasy But you say I'm just a friend But you say I'm just a friend Give me one reason why You wouldn't want this kind of guy Cuz I stay hip I stay laced And I know you know I'm fly-
Thayet: Boo! You suck!
Jon: Wah!
Writer: Thayet, your turn. You will sing What A Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera.
Thayet: Okay, I'll try.
What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes me happy, sets you free, and I'm thanking you, for giving it to me. That's all I know.
Writer: Well I guess that'll do. Josaine, You will sing-
Josaine: BOB!
Writer: No, not Bob-
Josaine: BOB! Where's Bob? (Runs off to find Bob)
Writer: Okay, George, I guess you're up next. You will sing Follow Me by Uncle Kracker.
George: I'll try.
You don't know how you met me, you don't know why you can't turn around and say good-bye.
All you know is when I'm with you, I make you free, and swim through your veins like a fish in the sea, I'm singin' Follow me, everything is all right. I'll be the one to tuck you in at night, and if you want to leave, I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me. I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear, cause as long as no one knows, then nobody could care.
You're feelin' guilty, and I'm well aware, but you don't look ashamed, and baby, I'm not scared.
I'm singin' Follow me, everything is all right. I'll be the one to tuck you in at night, and if you want to leave, I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me.
Writer: Okay, thank you George. Next is Liam. You will sing Pop by *NSYNC. (A/N: I must be the meanest person alive!)
Liam: Do I have to?
Writer: Yes, otherwise I will make you sing Nelly Furtado!
Liam: *Looks horrified at the thought of singing a Nelly Furtado song* Okay.
Dirty Pop Sick and tired of hearin' all these people talk about
What's the deal with this pop life
and when is it gonna fade out?
The thing you got to realize is
What we're doing is not a trend
We got the gift of melody
We gonna bring it 'til the end
Come on now...
It doesn't matter
'Bout the car I drive
What I wear around my neck
All that matters
Is that you recognize
That it's just about respect
It doesn't matter
'Bout the clothes I wear
and where I go and why
All that matters
Is that you get hyped
and we'll do it to you every time
Do you ever wonder why (why)
This music gets you high
It takes you on a ride
Feel it when
Your body starts to rock
and baby you can't stop
and the music's all you got
This must be-
Writer: Okay, we really don't want to hear any more. Now, last, but not least Alanna.
Alanna: ****! I was hoping you forgot me.
Writer: No such luck. You will have to sing Britney Spears!
Alanna: Noooooooooooo! Anything but that!
Writer: Fine! You will sing Don't Let Me Get Me by Pink.
Alanna: Fine.
I never win 1st place
I don't support the team
I can't take direction
And my socks are never clean
Teachers dated me
My parents hated me
I was always in a fight
'Cause I can't do nothing right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
Can't take the person staring back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't want to be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
LA told me
You'll be a pop star
All you have to change
Is everything you are
Tired of being compared
To damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty
That just ain't me
So doctor doctor won't you please prescribe me something
A day in the life of someone else
Writer: Good job everyone! And the winner is.
A/N: Should I stop here? Please, I'm not that mean!
Writer: And the winner is. George!
George: Really? I won?
Writer: Yeah, so lets go to Tribal Council!
$*Tribal Council*$
Writer: George, you vote first.
George: Why isn't Josaine gone yet! Once again, I vote for her.
Alanna: Jon. What an *******.
Thayet: What the **** do you think? Jon!
Jon: Is Thayet mad at me? Oh well. I'll vote for Liam. I really don't know why.
Liam: Josaine. She is really annoying!
Josaine: I vote for myself! Bob! I lost Bob!
Writer: Okay, and it's a tie between Jon.
Jon: What!
Writer: .and Josaine.
Josaine: Yay! Bob!
Writer: Now you, the readers (and hopefully reviewers) get to tell me who you think you should leave the island. You'll have to wait for the next episode of Survivor: Tortall Edition!
A/N: You will review! You will review! Does anyone know if it's possible to hypnotize people on the internet? Oh well, Please Review!