A/N: If you were wondering what that long bunch of letters was, here is
your answer:
None of this belongs to me it is TAMORA PIERCE'S you see that its hers not
mine I just wrote the plot and no I am not a polar bear in disguise.
Happy? Good! No! You're not happy? Well SUCK IT UP! This is my fic and I can do whatever I **** well please! (I'll let your imaginations run wild with those little asterisks) Now to thank the NICE people! I love all my reviewers very much BTW! All of your votes will go into consideration, but I do make the final decision.
Daine of the Queens Riders: Thank you! You're so nice!
Silva Sun: Thank you. I am planning to complete this one A.S.A.P.
Lady Rikku: So far you're being outvoted by the other reviewers. Sorry!
Dragon: You flatter me! Go on! No, seriously, go on! You are so nice!
Queen of Chickens: Interesting name. I totally agree about Jon. I'm very sorry about that but I didn't see your name there! But I am thanking you double now: Thank you! Thank you!
Krizsta: Thank you. She really is, isn't she?
Tears flow softly: Very sorry, but I have to get rid of one of them. I'll try to make it just as fun without Jo- wait, I can't tell you yet.
Rosefyre: Thanks for the vote. And even if that's true, I've been spelling her name like that for a while, so I'm not gonna stop now.
Lady Knight: So do I!!!! You are my new best friend! You have reviewed every chapter! Hmm, I'll have to think about that one.
Episode 4: And Then There Were PENGUINS!
Host: La, la, la. I just can't get you out of my head.
Alanna: We're just gonna get started on our own. When you last left us we were tied between Josaine and Jon. Now to find out who lost the national vote.
Liam: Uh, Alanna, it's not exactly "national."
Alanna: Shut up! Okay, Jo. what!
Jon: Who died and made you the host?
Host: Oops I did it again.
Jon: Never mind.
Alanna: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted *Glares at Jon* the viewers have voted to make Jo.
Regis Philbin: (has appeared out of nowhere) is that your final answer?
Alanna: Who the hell are you?!
Regis: I'm Regis Philbin!
Alanna: Well you're about to be a dead man!
Kelly Ripa: Regis! Where have you been? We have to go on in five minutes!
Regis: Okay, lets go. (Both disappear)
Alanna: Okay, the person voted off the island is Jo. Oh, for the Goddess' sake! What is it now?
Writer: I think I should be announcing!
Alanna: I think you should be taking care of the host!
Host: Glitter is my favorite movie!
Writer: Point taken.
Alanna: Okay, I swear to the gods if I'm interrupted one more time I'm going to kill someone! Jo.
(A/N: should I leave you hanging?)
(A/N: I think not)
Alanna: Jon! Get off the island!
Jon: What the ****! How could they choose her over me! This is so unfair! I want my Mommy!
Thayet: Jon, isn't your mommy dead?
Jon: *crying loudly*
George: Okay, I've been quiet throughout this whole thing, but enough is enough. Jon, you got voted off, deal with it! And would someone please get that host some therapy!
Host: Wahoo! Yay! The Cubs just won the World Series!
Liam: Okay, he's officially lost all his sanity! He's worst than Josaine!
Josaine: I'm a little teacup, short and stout.
(A/N: BTW- Jon has left. Yay!)
Writer: Okay, go back to camp.
Host: Wait! The PENGUINS want me to relay a message to you. The PENGUINS say that if I take the little pink pills at the same time as the blue pills I'll get magic powers! (Takes the little pink pill and the little blue pill) Yay! I'm magical! The PENGUINS say that now I must use my powers to bring back the dead.
Alanna: Uh oh.
Writer: Put the pills down. Please, for the love of all that is good in the world put the freakin' pills down!
Host: And here's Roger!
Roger: (appears out of thin air) Do you people have any idea what its like to be killed THREE TIMES!
Liam: Hey I was dead to!
Thayet: zzz. Huh, what did I miss? Oh no! It's Roger!
Roger: Little slow on the uptake there, aren't ya?
Writer: Listen, just go back to camp while I have a little talk with the host!
$*At Camp*$
Roger: Oh yeah, its good to be back.
(Little Do any of them know that the PENGUINS are listening)
Alanna: (with George and Thayet) How come every time I kill him he somehow manages to come back to life!
George: Dumb Luck? Anyway, all we have to do is vote him off again.
Thayet: Yeah, I mean, how hard can that be?
Josaine: (runs by) Where's Bertrand!
Thayet: Who's Bertrand?
Josaine: Duh! He's my pet coconut! Have you seen him?
Alanna: Yeah, I think I saw some coconuts over by that poison ivy.
Josaine: Bertrand! (Runs off)
George: We really should get rid of her.
Alanna: But not before we get rid of Roger. (gasps) I just had a brilliant idea!
Thayet: Uh-oh.
George: What is it?
Alanna: I'll tell you later, okay. *Walks away looking way too happy*
Roger: So, Liam, you've been dead too?
Liam: Yeah, but only once, and Alanna didn't kill me.
Roger: You really don't have to rub it in. Anyway, we must get rid of Alanna.
Liam: Why? She's nice.
Roger: Yeah, to you maybe. If you're forgetting, she killed me. THREE TIMES!
Liam: True, but you did try to take over the country and all.
Roger: Listen! My plan would have worked perfectly.
(Roger and Liam continue to argue)
Josaine: Itch, itch, Bertrand! Itchy, itchy, coconut! Itch, itch, Who Let The Dogs Out!
Writer: I really shouldn't leave them to their own devices.
Josaine: Itchy, itchy, scratch! Itchy, Itchy, woof! Itch, itch, Bazooka Joe!
Writer: Yeah, I think its time for the challenges.
$*Reward Challenge*$
Writer: As you may have guessed, our host is currently "indisposed".
Host: Go PENGUINS! Go PENGUINS! Go PENGUINS!
Writer: .So we'll be doing the challenges without him.
Roger: Good!
Alanna: Shut up Roger!
Writer: You know what? Screw the reward challenge, let's just get to immunity.
$*Immunity Challenge*$
Writer: Can we say unnecessary? Anyway, all you have to do to win is guess what number I'm thinking of.
Liam: Well that can't be too hard.
Writer: . Between 1 and 1,000.
Thayet: That complicates things.
Writer: Alanna, you first.
Alanna: Um, 147?
Writer: Nope!
Alanna: ****!
Writer: Thayet?
Thayet: 388.
Writer: No. George?
George: 939?
Writer: Roger?
Roger: 289.
Writer: No.
Liam: 398?
Writer: No.
Josaine: Blue?
Writer: No.
Josaine: Yes.
Writer: No!
Josaine: Yes!
Writer: Alanna?
**Four hours later**
George: 47?
Writer: No. Roger?
Roger: How the **** should I know!
Writer: Just guess.
Roger: Fine! 3.
Writer: Correct! Finally! What are you people, morons?
Liam: What! After all that! The answer was 3!
Writer: I told you! It was a number between 1 and 1,000. Roger, you win immunity.
Alanna: WHAT! Why you *&$%&^&*^&%^$&^$%#&(%&^$#$#&&&$$%%&! I should really *&*%^)%$$&^#$*^$^&$#%^&^$&*$%$(#*$%^$&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Writer: And once again we would like to give a special thanks to our censoring people.
Censoring People: Yeah! Do you have any idea how Goddamn hard that is!
Writer: You should really learn to censor yourself. Anyway, on to Tribal Council!
$*Tribal Council*$
Writer: Time to vote!
Roger: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Writer: Hey! I wrote you in and I can write you out! Just go vote.
Roger: Well who the **** do you think I vote for! Alanna!
Alanna: Do you have to ask! Just piss off you stupid camera guy! I vote for Roger!
Camera Guy: Uh, Roger has immunity.
Alanna: Damn! Well then Liam!
Camera Guy: Why?
Alanna: I don't have to tell you!
George: Josaine.
Josaine: Liam.
Liam: I want to go home. Can I vote for myself?
Thayet: I vote for, uh, I don't know. I guess Josaine. She really is annoying.
Writer: Good. Now for our readers at home who can't count, the loser is. Liam! Get off my island!
Liam: YES! Um, I mean, I'm so sad. Well, bye!
Writer: Oh, and Lady Knight suggests that you jump off a cliff. Tune in next time for Survivor: Tortall Edition!
Host: The PENGUINS! The PENGUINS!
A/N: I know it's shorter than usual, and it took really long to get out, but my teachers love to give me homework! Every single night! Isn't that just evil! How did ya like that little twist. Next time I'm thinking. DR. PHIL! The guy I love to hate! Or is that just a little too mean? And I hope ya'll watched the real Survivor! It's getting really good! Thank you readers, and here's a tip: Review!
Happy? Good! No! You're not happy? Well SUCK IT UP! This is my fic and I can do whatever I **** well please! (I'll let your imaginations run wild with those little asterisks) Now to thank the NICE people! I love all my reviewers very much BTW! All of your votes will go into consideration, but I do make the final decision.
Daine of the Queens Riders: Thank you! You're so nice!
Silva Sun: Thank you. I am planning to complete this one A.S.A.P.
Lady Rikku: So far you're being outvoted by the other reviewers. Sorry!
Dragon: You flatter me! Go on! No, seriously, go on! You are so nice!
Queen of Chickens: Interesting name. I totally agree about Jon. I'm very sorry about that but I didn't see your name there! But I am thanking you double now: Thank you! Thank you!
Krizsta: Thank you. She really is, isn't she?
Tears flow softly: Very sorry, but I have to get rid of one of them. I'll try to make it just as fun without Jo- wait, I can't tell you yet.
Rosefyre: Thanks for the vote. And even if that's true, I've been spelling her name like that for a while, so I'm not gonna stop now.
Lady Knight: So do I!!!! You are my new best friend! You have reviewed every chapter! Hmm, I'll have to think about that one.
Episode 4: And Then There Were PENGUINS!
Host: La, la, la. I just can't get you out of my head.
Alanna: We're just gonna get started on our own. When you last left us we were tied between Josaine and Jon. Now to find out who lost the national vote.
Liam: Uh, Alanna, it's not exactly "national."
Alanna: Shut up! Okay, Jo. what!
Jon: Who died and made you the host?
Host: Oops I did it again.
Jon: Never mind.
Alanna: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted *Glares at Jon* the viewers have voted to make Jo.
Regis Philbin: (has appeared out of nowhere) is that your final answer?
Alanna: Who the hell are you?!
Regis: I'm Regis Philbin!
Alanna: Well you're about to be a dead man!
Kelly Ripa: Regis! Where have you been? We have to go on in five minutes!
Regis: Okay, lets go. (Both disappear)
Alanna: Okay, the person voted off the island is Jo. Oh, for the Goddess' sake! What is it now?
Writer: I think I should be announcing!
Alanna: I think you should be taking care of the host!
Host: Glitter is my favorite movie!
Writer: Point taken.
Alanna: Okay, I swear to the gods if I'm interrupted one more time I'm going to kill someone! Jo.
(A/N: should I leave you hanging?)
(A/N: I think not)
Alanna: Jon! Get off the island!
Jon: What the ****! How could they choose her over me! This is so unfair! I want my Mommy!
Thayet: Jon, isn't your mommy dead?
Jon: *crying loudly*
George: Okay, I've been quiet throughout this whole thing, but enough is enough. Jon, you got voted off, deal with it! And would someone please get that host some therapy!
Host: Wahoo! Yay! The Cubs just won the World Series!
Liam: Okay, he's officially lost all his sanity! He's worst than Josaine!
Josaine: I'm a little teacup, short and stout.
(A/N: BTW- Jon has left. Yay!)
Writer: Okay, go back to camp.
Host: Wait! The PENGUINS want me to relay a message to you. The PENGUINS say that if I take the little pink pills at the same time as the blue pills I'll get magic powers! (Takes the little pink pill and the little blue pill) Yay! I'm magical! The PENGUINS say that now I must use my powers to bring back the dead.
Alanna: Uh oh.
Writer: Put the pills down. Please, for the love of all that is good in the world put the freakin' pills down!
Host: And here's Roger!
Roger: (appears out of thin air) Do you people have any idea what its like to be killed THREE TIMES!
Liam: Hey I was dead to!
Thayet: zzz. Huh, what did I miss? Oh no! It's Roger!
Roger: Little slow on the uptake there, aren't ya?
Writer: Listen, just go back to camp while I have a little talk with the host!
$*At Camp*$
Roger: Oh yeah, its good to be back.
(Little Do any of them know that the PENGUINS are listening)
Alanna: (with George and Thayet) How come every time I kill him he somehow manages to come back to life!
George: Dumb Luck? Anyway, all we have to do is vote him off again.
Thayet: Yeah, I mean, how hard can that be?
Josaine: (runs by) Where's Bertrand!
Thayet: Who's Bertrand?
Josaine: Duh! He's my pet coconut! Have you seen him?
Alanna: Yeah, I think I saw some coconuts over by that poison ivy.
Josaine: Bertrand! (Runs off)
George: We really should get rid of her.
Alanna: But not before we get rid of Roger. (gasps) I just had a brilliant idea!
Thayet: Uh-oh.
George: What is it?
Alanna: I'll tell you later, okay. *Walks away looking way too happy*
Roger: So, Liam, you've been dead too?
Liam: Yeah, but only once, and Alanna didn't kill me.
Roger: You really don't have to rub it in. Anyway, we must get rid of Alanna.
Liam: Why? She's nice.
Roger: Yeah, to you maybe. If you're forgetting, she killed me. THREE TIMES!
Liam: True, but you did try to take over the country and all.
Roger: Listen! My plan would have worked perfectly.
(Roger and Liam continue to argue)
Josaine: Itch, itch, Bertrand! Itchy, itchy, coconut! Itch, itch, Who Let The Dogs Out!
Writer: I really shouldn't leave them to their own devices.
Josaine: Itchy, itchy, scratch! Itchy, Itchy, woof! Itch, itch, Bazooka Joe!
Writer: Yeah, I think its time for the challenges.
$*Reward Challenge*$
Writer: As you may have guessed, our host is currently "indisposed".
Host: Go PENGUINS! Go PENGUINS! Go PENGUINS!
Writer: .So we'll be doing the challenges without him.
Roger: Good!
Alanna: Shut up Roger!
Writer: You know what? Screw the reward challenge, let's just get to immunity.
$*Immunity Challenge*$
Writer: Can we say unnecessary? Anyway, all you have to do to win is guess what number I'm thinking of.
Liam: Well that can't be too hard.
Writer: . Between 1 and 1,000.
Thayet: That complicates things.
Writer: Alanna, you first.
Alanna: Um, 147?
Writer: Nope!
Alanna: ****!
Writer: Thayet?
Thayet: 388.
Writer: No. George?
George: 939?
Writer: Roger?
Roger: 289.
Writer: No.
Liam: 398?
Writer: No.
Josaine: Blue?
Writer: No.
Josaine: Yes.
Writer: No!
Josaine: Yes!
Writer: Alanna?
**Four hours later**
George: 47?
Writer: No. Roger?
Roger: How the **** should I know!
Writer: Just guess.
Roger: Fine! 3.
Writer: Correct! Finally! What are you people, morons?
Liam: What! After all that! The answer was 3!
Writer: I told you! It was a number between 1 and 1,000. Roger, you win immunity.
Alanna: WHAT! Why you *&$%&^&*^&%^$&^$%#&(%&^$#$#&&&$$%%&! I should really *&*%^)%$$&^#$*^$^&$#%^&^$&*$%$(#*$%^$&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Writer: And once again we would like to give a special thanks to our censoring people.
Censoring People: Yeah! Do you have any idea how Goddamn hard that is!
Writer: You should really learn to censor yourself. Anyway, on to Tribal Council!
$*Tribal Council*$
Writer: Time to vote!
Roger: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Writer: Hey! I wrote you in and I can write you out! Just go vote.
Roger: Well who the **** do you think I vote for! Alanna!
Alanna: Do you have to ask! Just piss off you stupid camera guy! I vote for Roger!
Camera Guy: Uh, Roger has immunity.
Alanna: Damn! Well then Liam!
Camera Guy: Why?
Alanna: I don't have to tell you!
George: Josaine.
Josaine: Liam.
Liam: I want to go home. Can I vote for myself?
Thayet: I vote for, uh, I don't know. I guess Josaine. She really is annoying.
Writer: Good. Now for our readers at home who can't count, the loser is. Liam! Get off my island!
Liam: YES! Um, I mean, I'm so sad. Well, bye!
Writer: Oh, and Lady Knight suggests that you jump off a cliff. Tune in next time for Survivor: Tortall Edition!
Host: The PENGUINS! The PENGUINS!
A/N: I know it's shorter than usual, and it took really long to get out, but my teachers love to give me homework! Every single night! Isn't that just evil! How did ya like that little twist. Next time I'm thinking. DR. PHIL! The guy I love to hate! Or is that just a little too mean? And I hope ya'll watched the real Survivor! It's getting really good! Thank you readers, and here's a tip: Review!