DISCLAIMERS: You know what I'm tired of? Joss. Joss calling me and emailing me, leaving messages for me at work, pushing letters under my door. It gets pretty darn tiresome. *takes another drink* You know what else I hate? *slurs slightly, weaving* Joss and Spike all fighting over me and shit. I mean, daaaamn! *falls over table* I'm NOT delusional! *waves bottle at the dog, pointing madly* YOU'RE delusional!

THANKS: I love you all so much! *sobs into her beer* And Bub! She met James! *bawls* I looover her soo mush...hic

HUH? WHAT?: Buffy got snubbed by Riley and had no idea why. Damn baby. Buffy saved Spike's ass again. Spike leered and preened. Yum! Spike tried to get some more action, and was promptly squished by the Slayer's strong thighs. Buffy stormed out. Spike got a clue, unlike the rest of the Scoobies. Go Spike!

**********************************************************************

"Finally! I found you."

Buffy turned and looked over her shoulder.

"God, I've been looking for you for days now! Where have you been?" Warren hissed, looking around nervously.

"Warren?" Buffy asked, squinting in the dim light.

Warren stepped out of the bushes and came closer. "Come on, let's get out of here before Buffy shows up or something."

Buffy blinked. "Huh?"

Warren took a deep breath . "Millennium Falcon. Mos Eisley spaceport. Docking bay ninety-four." He said, carefully.

Buffy sighed and looked heavenward. This was proving to be one long day. "What the hell are you talking about? Has the whole town gone crazy?" She paused suddenly, worried. "That's not it, is it? You haven't all gone nuts from a spell have you?" She looked back towards the campus, brows together in concern. Maybe she should go see Giles and tell him what was going on.

Warren came closer and bent down slightly, looking into her eyes. "Millennium Falcon. Mos Eisley spaceport. Docking bay ninety-"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, so drop the secret code, okay? What am I supposed to answer, johnnycake fishlegs? I don't know the answer to your little password." Buffy held her arms open wide in a gesture of submission. "So, whatever college prank you're up to, prank it on someone else."

"Buffy?" Warren said nervously, taking a few steps back. This wasn't the Bot, it was actually Buffy. He was in for it now, unless he could cover. Be smooth..."Oh, uh. Good to see you. Long time and all." He shifted uncomfortably, positive that she knew exactly what was going on and was about to throttle him. Or maybe she was stalling, waiting for the cops to come and arrest him. Or, even worse, a secret government operation could be on it's way, ready to take him into custody to work on class-five missions, never to be seen from again! "I have to go." He blurted, suddenly turning and racing away madly.

Buffy watched him run off into the night. "Yeah. That was weird." Shrugging, she headed off to Giles'.

*****************************************************

"Spike? I'm all done slaying. Shall I pleasure you now?"

Spike looked up from his chair as the door to his crypt opened , putting the bottle of bourbon down on the cold stone floor with a sigh. He looked at her, considering. This was not what he was expecting. "Ah. The nicer, easier version is here."

Buffybot smiled. "I am nice." She agreed, coming over to him. "I'm pretty too."

Spike stood up slowly, wincing a bit at the pain, a hand to his side. If this wasn't Buffy, just who the hell was she? Or, to be more precise, what. "So." He said slowly, staring at her face. "Where did you come from then?"

Buffybot looked at him for a moment, thinking. "I came from the graveyard!" She said happily. Spike looked surprised at her answer.

"Oh, so you were raised then." He cocked his head, looking at her for signs of evil. None to be seen, and she certainly didn't act like a zombie.

"Yes! I was raised by my mother!" Buffybot answered brightly, ending Spike's first theory .

Spike raised his eyebrows for a moment. Ah, so that's the ticket, a story straight out of the telly. He thought of Passions and nodded a bit. "Like an evil twin..."

The Bot blinked. "I don't have a twin. I slay evil!"

Spike went and sat back down again with a sigh of frustration. Looking at her, he frowned. "Where. Did. You. Come. From." He said slowly and carefully, making sure every word was clear and precise. Buffybot paused.

"The. Grave. Yard. I. Was. Slaying." She answered, slowly, carefully, and precisely, making Spike want to bash his head against the stone walls.

"Okay. And before that?" He asked, running a hand through his hair. Buffybot perked up.

"Sunnydale U!" She chirped.

Spike frowned at her. "What, you mean you were grown, in a lab then?"

Buffybot ran her program. "I wasn't grown in a lab. I was made in a basement. Warren made me." She said, making Spike sit up straight.

"Ah ha! Here we go. Now we're getting somewhere. Just who's this Warren fella?" Spike asked, looking at the Bot for stitches or staples or whatever people used nowadays to construct humans.

"He's very smart!" She paused as her systems re-loaded, and continued. "But not as smart as you! He's sexy, but not as sexy as you! He's perfect, but not as perfect as you! He-"

"I get it." Spike interrupted impatiently. He stood up and came close, looking at her carefully. "No scars. No stitches. No zippers or buttons." He put his head close to he chest and she smiled happily, lips parted invitingly. He listened for a second, really listened, and raised an eyebrow. Standing up, he looked at her. "No heartbeat. No blood. What are you?"

Buffybot looked at him. "I'm Buffy!" She said cheerfully.

Spike went over to the chair again and sank down into it with a sigh. He was feeling better already. Damn bitch Slayer wasn't going to hold him back for long. The other Buffy stood there, watching him silently. "You know what? We're going to have a lot of fun, the two of us."

The Buffybot smiled at him and came to sit on his lap. "Can we have hot monkey sex now?"

Spike grinned at her, putting his arm around her waist. "Well luv, that would be grand, but I have bigger plans for you." He smiled rather evilly, enjoying the feeling of being wicked once again. Maybe he couldn't bite anyone, but he still had the ole big bad in him. He'd show them who was still able to create terror and havoc. Buffy slipped her hand into his shirt and he looked into her eyes. Damned if she didn't look just like the real Buffy.

*******************************************

Xander looked at Willow and shook his head. "I don't see why you think something's wrong with Buffy. Girl-girl kissing is perfectly normal." He pointed his Ho-Ho at the group seriously. "In fact, girls should do it more!" He got a glare from both Willow and Anya for his troubles. "What?"

Willow looked up from her books, rather defeated. "It's not just the, uh...you know. Kissing" She whispered. "It's the odd behavior. The forgetting..."

"That doesn't sound unusual." Anya said, shrugging. Buffy had seemed normal enough at the Bronze earlier, despite Xander's total drooling. Stupid Xander.

"Well, what about the teleporting. And, her outfits." Willow said worriedly.

Giles rubbed at his eyes. "I really don't know Willow. There's nothing in the books that describes what you're saying. Perhaps if we simply talked to her, which really, we should have done in the first place. I was just a little, erm, thrown off by the current events."

Xander swallowed his Ho-Ho and nodded at Giles. "Yes. Giles is right. Willow, you should talk to her as much as possible." He looked at his girlfriend. "Anya too."

Giles sighed.

Anya crossed her arms and leaned back into the couch in defiance. "I don't see what the big deal is. Girls kiss all the time."

Xander looked up. "Where!?"

"She probably wanted to experiment." Anya continued, ignoring him. "Like last night for instance, when Xander asked me to let him enter my portal of Sodom..."

Panicked, Xander shot up. "Uh!"

"Oh god!" Willow said, face white.

Giles removed his glasses, polishing fiercely.

"What?" Anya said, impatiently. "Sex is perfectly natural. You're all so uptight! Arrgh!" She stomped out of the room.

Everyone was silent.

"Maybe we should just go find Buffy." Xander said finally. Almost on cue, the door opened and Buffy came in. Xander looked at the group and shrugged. "Okay, that was easy."

"Buffy!" Willow said nervously, clutching her top closed tight. "Where have you been?"

"Patrolling." Buffy said. "Where else?" She smiled at Willow, who stepped back uncertainly, putting a chair between the two of them. "It's been a really strange day."

"So I've heard." Giles said slowly, not sure what to say. He looked her over, taking in her short white top and khaki pants. "She looks normal to me. Buffy, how are you feeling? Is everything alright? Something you need to talk about perhaps?" He added meaningfully, making Buffy frown.

"Uhh...noooo, I'm fine, but there have been some really stupid weird things happening." She answered carefully.

"Ah ha! See?" Willow looked triumphant.

"See what?" Xander asked. "She's just fine. Nothing wrong there."

Buffy looked back and forth at her friends. "She's right here, and her ears are working. She can hear everything you're saying." She crossed her arms and stared at the group. They shifted uncomfortably.

Anya came back into the livingroom. "Oh Buffy. You're here." Buffy nodded at her and she smiled soothingly. "I think your new lifestyle choice is perfectly okay. In fact, I'm more than comfortable with it. Congratulations!" She walked over to her, ignoring the confused look on her face and hugged her.

"New lifestyle choice?" Buffy mouthed over Anya's shoulder at Willow, who shook her head a few times, flustered. "Anya, I-" Buffy was cut of by a Anya's warm, slightly moist lips pressed up against her own. "Mmmrrffff..."

"Oh god." Xander breathed, watching Buffy and Anya. He swallowed hard as Anya pulled back, licking at Buffy's lips slightly as she went. "Oh...god."

"Oh god!" Buffy cried, one hand over her mouth. "Why? What?" She turned to Giles beseechingly, shoving Anya away with her other hand.

"Hey!" Anya pouted at her and sat down next to Xander, annoyed that her overtones of friendship had been rejected. Xander panted slightly, eyes glazed as he looked at her and she suddenly didn't care about what Buffy did. "Wanna...?" She whispered, nudging her head towards the washroom and smiling suggestively. Xander groaned under his breath, debating. His hormones won and he pulled her out of the room quietly. This wouldn't take long.

"Okay, seriously, what is going on?" Buffy took a few steps back in case someone else decided to make with the frenching. She didn't think she could live if Giles tried it, spell or no spell. "Hey. Wait. Kissing. Weirdness. Spell..." She looked at Willow who was now hugging a pillow across her chest defensively, alternating scared glances between Anya and Buffy. "You did a spell!"

Willow dropped the pillow in a panic. "No! Buffy, I swear I didn't!"

Buffy opened her mouth to argue, but was interrupted by the sound of sirens. Followed by the sounds of fire engines. And screaming. Also, a dog barked.

"What the?" Giles opened the front door as another police car raced past. He turned back, concerned. "Something's happened."

"We'd better go see." Buffy said, marching towards the door. Willow and Giles followed her as she turned to the group. "Something's happening, and it seems it's spread to the town, and..." She paused, frowning. "Where's Anya and Xander?"