DISCLAIMERS: The other night Joss takes me to a fancy restaurant, see? And I'm all dolled-up and stuff, cause I'm expecting him to pop 'the Question', so I've got on my slinky black dress and lacy thong-action happening. Joss takes my hand and I smile. "We have to talk." He says. I smile. "You keep calling me Joss." He says. I smile and nod happily. "See, thing is, my name is Fred. I keep telling you this..." I smile, breathless with excitement. "I don't want you to call me anymore. We're over. Oh, and I think you need some serious help." I throw my arms around him ecstatically, crying, "Yes! Yes, Joss yes, a thousand times yes, I'll be your wife!" Wow, are we ever happy!

THANKS: Thanks, y'all are the bestest. It makes me so happy to hear that you like this crazy little bot story. Long live the Bot, and long live the Bub!

DEEDLE-BONG!: What's going on now? Well, let's see. Buffy decided the entire town was nuts. The Scoobies wondered the same thing about her. Spike and the Bot had a little chat. Spike grinned evilly. The Scoobies heard chaotic noises. Xander and Anya did it in Giles' bathroom. That place gets more action than a wharf-whore when shore leave rolls in. Warren still hasn't gotten laid.

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Downtown Sunnydale had seen better days. Or nights, in this instance. Then again, it had seen worse. On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest and ten the highest, this rated about a seven on the crap-fest level. Not too bad, but plenty bad enough. As it was, storefronts were smashed, signs battered, doors in pieces. One place was in flames and firemen were running about, busily putting out the fire. People ran around, looting heavily, not caring about that, 'You shouldn't steal from your own neighborhood, dumbass' rule. Someone threw a mailbox into the window of the florist shop and the crowd cheered wildly, swarming in to run out with armfuls of roses and carnations.

"Idiots." Spike stood to one side, watching the show.

"Shall I smash some more too?" Buffybot asked, standing beside him. Spike shook his head.

"Soon luv."

They stood near the bushes silently, and soon enough a car pulled up, full of Scoobies. "Well! Now this is fun!" Spike said, watching them spill from Giles' vehicle, mouths open as they took in the scene.

"What's going on?" Xander gaped a little, watching as a large man walked by, a new TV. on his back.

"It's a riot Xander." Anya answered, matter-of-factly. "People are stealing en mass and destroying property. It's about money. It's always about the money." She looked thoughtful for a moment.

Buffy threw her shoulders back determinedly. "Well, it stops now." She said and marched her way into the crowd, ready to stop people from doing anymore damage. A young man stumbled by with, of all things, a bowling ball; about to hurl it through the local Dollar Store and she sighed. Plucking it effortlessly out of his hands, she tossed it, sending it flying down the street.

"Just what were you going to steal anyway?" Buffy asked, as the guy took off in a panic. "It's a dollar store!" She shook her head, forgetting about the bowling ball, which had now smashed into a fire hydrant, knocking the top off. Water burst into the air, spraying everywhere. In the distance, the firefighters could be heard cursing at the sudden fall in water pressure. "Oops."

"Nice work Buffy." Anya said, getting a glare from the group as they ran for cover from the icy water. "What? I was just trying to encourage her after her obvious blunder. She needs encouragement, like, 'go team go!' I mean, I didn't actually think she did a good job. You get that, right?"

"We get it An." Xander said, sliding back into Giles' car, despite the man's protests about getting the seats wet.

Buffy looked down at her soaking wet clothes, and then at the retreating Scoobies, annoyed and frozen. "Maybe I should just-"

A hand clamped down on her shoulder and she reached for it automatically, ready to flip the offender over her shoulder. The hand, however, whirled her around easily and she spun, surprised at the strength, finding herself face to face with a slim girl in a long trench coat and dark glasses, her hair tucked under a black knit cap.

"And who might you be?" Buffy asked, taking a fighting stance.

"I'm the Slayer!" The Bot answered.

Buffy laughed, bitter. "Oh, yeah, okay. So been there done that that it's not even funny." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Are you good, or bad? Maybe we should clear this up right away."

Buffybot smiled happily. "Bad!"

"Figures." Buffy muttered, and punched her in the face, snapping the Bot's head back sharply. "Well, let's get this over with, shall we?"

The Bot followed with a punch of her own and grabbed Buffy's arms, tossing her to the ground with a splash. "Ha! You're all wet. Take that!"

Buffy jumped up, tossing her wet hair off her face, laying a kick to the Bot's side and making her stumble. "We're both wet you lack-wit." They grappled, stumbling around. The Bot twisted in Buffy's grasp, lifting her up over her head easily.

"I don't like you!" Buffybot announced. She heaved and threw Buffy, sending her smashing through the nearby, second-hand store 'Fashion Trendz!' display window with a crash, sending glass spraying. Jumping in after her, she paused, seeing a smart leather skirt and belt combo. "Oooh, funky!" She bent to pick it up and hold it against her in contemplation, but was felled by a well-placed mannequin to the head, knocking her back onto the pavement. Buffy leapt through the ruined window on top of her.

"Just goes to show what you know." She panted, trying to get her arms free to punch. "That outfit was waaay too 80's to be cool. Plus, with those hips you'd never get into it." The Bot gave a shove, sending Buffy flying off her and skidding across the large pool of water that had formed. She slammed into a lamppost, cracking her head sharply on it, and saw stars.

"You're evil! I fight evil." The Bot said simply, coming over and yanking her up. Buffy shook her head, trying to focus as the Bot dragged her around. "You must be stopped. You must-" She paused abruptly, a surprised look on her face. Buffy blinked and Giles was standing in the distance, crossbow in his hands. The others were with him, holding weapons, ready to attack. The Bot dropped Buffy with a splash and reached around, yanking the arrow out of her shoulder. "Hey! You shot me, you big dumb jerks!"

Buffy flipped up and gave her a vicious roundhouse, shattering her glasses and sending the Bot to the cement. "You're the big dumb jerk!" She retaliated.

The Bot looked up at her, face exposed, and Buffy gasped in shock. "Nice move! I have to go now. Have a nice day!" She scrambled up and ran off across the street and into the bushes, disappearing quickly. Buffy watched her go, too astonished to give chase.

"Buffy!" Willow called, running over, stake in hand. She didn't answer, still staring into the distance. "Buffy, are you okay?"

Buffy nodded silently.

"That was a strong vampire. She kicked your ass." Anya said, getting yet another look from the group.

"That wasn't a vampire." Buffy muttered.

"Who was it then?" Xander asked. Buffy finally turned and looked at her friends, confusion all over her face.

"Me."

The group stared at her, water running over them in droves, not blinking. "Huh?" Xander said, finally.

"Well put." Giles stepped in, ready to take charge. "What do you mean Buffy?"

Buffy wiped the water off her face. "I mean, she was me. She looked just. Like. Me. I mean, exactly like me. Not a wee bit, not in a, 'hey, that girl kinda reminds me of you' way, but, me. To the last detail. And she said she was the Slayer."

Willow turned to Anya. "It was you all along, wasn't it!" She said, accusingly. "You did another spell to get your pendant back, and brought some kind of psudo-Buffy here in the process!"

"I didn't!" Anya said, looking quite offended. "And you're one to talk, little Miss Spell-Gone-Wrong!" She gave Willow a slight shove with her last word in emphasis.

"Hey!" Willow said, angry. "Don't shove me!" She pushed back, sending Anya stumbling slightly.

"Now, girls..."Giles said, worried.

"She started it!" Anya answered, pouty, and gave Willow another thrust with her fingertips.

"Ow! That one hurt! Giles!" Willow said, looking at the Watcher. She reached out and poked Anya back, making the ex-demon stumble a bit.

"Okay, that's it. I've had it up to my general height with you." Anya said firmly, and grabbed Willow, pushing her to the ground, hard. Willow grabbed at Anya as she went down and Anya's shirt tore, revealing her black lacey bra and heaving chest. Anya gasped, looking at the damage. "You! You...you...that cost a lot of money!" She jumped on top of Willow and ripped her shirt right off in retaliation, throwing it away angrily. Willow shrieked and tried to cover franticly, breasts peeking out the top of her white cotton bra, pink nipples prominent against the wet material. Anya threw herself on top of her, shouting about the exchanges of goods and services, and how Willow was obviously a communist pig.

"Oh good lord." Giles turned away, mortified at the sight.

"Uh..." Buffy said, completely at a loss on how to handle this.

Giles looked at Xander. "Do something." He demanded, his Englishness making it impossible to function in the current situation.

"Anya...Willow..." Xander took a step forward, torn between concern for his best friend and girlfriend, and being incredibly turned on by the sight of two gorgeous, half-dressed girls wrestling in the water. They ignored him, rolling around and screeching. He shrugged. "Well, I tried."

Giles resisted the urge to smack Xander and instead gave Buffy a beseeching look, making her sigh.

"Okay, okay." She sloshed over to the rolling tangle of wet, shiny limbs and paused, not really sure where to grab. Closing her eyes, she reached in blindly, pulling out Willow, who was looking as mad and miserable as a wet kitten.

"Xander!" Anya stood up, sporting a large, bright red scratch on her cheek. "Make Willow apologize."

Willow gasped, trying to wipe at her bloody nose and hide her front at the same time. "Me?" She demanded. Giles quickly handed her his blazer and she gratefully slipped it on. "You're the one who started it."

Anya stomped her foot, making her breasts jiggle enticingly, sending a splash over Willow's legs. "You started it, with a slanderous remark against me. Slanderous and untrue, and, and...and I could sue you." She pointed at Willow, glaring at her through the downpour. "For slander." Xander gulped and reached over, trying to pull her ruined top closed to hide the evidence of just how very cold the water was.

"Go ahead!" Willow said, smug now. "I'm Jewish!" The group looked at her and she raised her chin a notch. "Well...I'm sorry, but I'm a little upset right here. So I made a bit of a racial comment. Big deal, I'm entitled to a moment every now and then."

"All right, I think we're all a little over-stimulated..." Giles said. He looked over at a glazed-eyed Xander and winced at his choice of words. "I think we should all go and get some rest. We'll meet up tomorrow morning to talk further about this other Slayer." He looked around. "Where's Buffy gone to now?"

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"What a bunch of nimrods." Spike shook his head, watching the scene from the woods. "I can't believe-Oh! Cat fight!" He grinned, leaning forward a bit to get a better view, but was suddenly yanked back by the scruff of his coat. "Hey!"

"Spike. I should have known it was you." Buffy said coldly, arms crossed. She glared at him, hair still dripping icy water on the ground.

Spike scoffed, looking innocent. "Why am I always to blame? I was just out for a lovely evening stroll. Minding my own business, I was. I don't know what you're talking about. " Buffy pointed to the riot behind him. "Oh. That." He shrugged. "Well, you can't blame a fellow for coming out to watch the festivities. A person has to get a spot of violence in somehow, even if it is vicariously."

Buffy shook her head. "You're pathetic."

Spike snarled and lunged at her, getting a bolt of white-hot pain for his trouble. He buckled, holding his head and groaning miserably. Finally the pain cleared enough for him to look up at her, eyes narrow. "You'd better watch yourself Slayer. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"Well, if you're talking about scaring me by clutching at your head and yelling 'ow ow!' you've succeeded. Oooh! Very scary." She scoffed. "I'm terrified."

"God I hate you so much." Spike muttered, looking at her. His eyes traveled over her body, taking in the way everything clung in all the right places, how her nipples stood out against the wet fabric of her shirt. They lingered, making Buffy shuffle uncomfortably. "Hate you." He said, face softening. His body relaxed as he stared at her and he slowly got to his feet. Buffy watched him; unable to move from the melting look he was giving her. One hand reached out and he traced her outline, traveling down. "Hate....you." He whispered, one finger paused over by her nipple, touch feather light. Buffy was panting now, frozen. All she had to do was take deep breath he'd be touching her.

"Spike..." Buffy whispered. They stared at each other. "You're trembling."

"So are you." Spike whispered back.

"I'm cold." She said, but it lacked conviction.

Spike's head lowered and his lips brushed against hers, softly, making her gasp a bit in surprise. She didn't pull away like Spike expected; instead she leaned in with a little moan. "Buffy." He said against her mouth, reaching to pull her close.

Buffy felt his hands on her shoulders and she broke away in a panic, shoving him back. He stumbled, surprised.

"Stop doing that!" Buffy gasped, staring at him.

Spike straightened. "Because you like it too much." He said, smug. She glared.

"Shut up Spike." She crossed her arms and sighed. "I liked it better when you were trying to kill me."

"Well, it is called 'The Little Death'..."

She punched him and he went down into the grass. "I'm leaving." She announced, stomping off.

"Buffy-" He called after her, still down on the ground. She paused, not turning around and he felt that familiar irritation rise again, along with that other, also familiar rising. "Fine. Go back to your Scoobies. Looks like Harris was about to spill in his pants back there, better get him home." He smirked as she whirled around, disgusted. "Not my fault the kid's a wanker."

"Shut your mouth Spike." Buffy spat, face pink and flushed.

"Shut it for me, Slayer." Spike drawled, leaning back against the earth, arms behind his head, looking entirely too comfortable and relaxed for Buffy's liking. Oh, she'd put him in his place, and good.

"I'm going to see Riley." She blurted, pleased as Spike's head shot up, startled. Pleased by the reaction, she continued. "I think I have a kink in my neck..." She stretched sinuously, watching Spike watch her hungrily. "...And well, Riley, he gives such nice full. Body. Massages."

Spike's face hardened as she smiled and took off through the bushes to her friends and the waiting car. He watched as she ran, his body frozen with anger, jaw rigid. Play that game, would she? Well, he'd show her. He wasn't some little frat boy to be led about by the nose, oh no, he was dangerous, and she'd be good to learn that.

"That girl looks just like me."

Spike didn't look away from the street as Giles drove off. "Yes pet, she certainly does."

"Can we go back to your crypt now? I can do the splits you know."

Spike stood up slowly and looked at Buffybot. "No. We need to go see someone. There's something I need you to do, sweetheart."

Buffybot smiled, slipping her hand into his. "Yes Spike."