DISCLAIMERS: I am so breaking up with that Joss guy! I mean, who does he think he is, going off and leaving me for that hussy 'Firefly'? That show is SUCH a whore too! Screw him. Screw him all to hell.

THANKS: The updates are getting longer and longer...sigh. Life and work and school and yadda yadda. Sorry y'all. Oh, and thanks to Bub. I stole her famous word: 'UNGH'. And I am still waiting for the fic she promised me, in which the entire cast of BTVS say nothing but UNGH for the entire story. HAW!

WHAT'S HAPPENIN', HOT STUFF?: Well, let's see. Buffy took Spike and Buffybot to Giles'. Anya has perky breasts. Botty kissed Willow, again, who was more than tired of it. Spike demonstrated his power over the Bot by making her spin and sing. Buffy dragged Spike off to the bathroom to beat on him, but instead gave him a hand-job. How the hell did THAT happen, you ask? Well, hey, Spike is sexy. Anyways, Xander interrupted Buffy's 'pleasure moment' and they went back out to the living room. Willow demonstrated her amazing powers of looking in the phonebook and found Warren's address. Remember him? Warren? That geeky guy? Built the Bot? Anyone? Well anyways, start thinking hard, cause they are off to his house, and I'm pretty dang sure Buffy is pissed off at someone. I mean hey, she's the Slayer! I'd be pissed too!

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"Ignitusan plurabim hockil verdia. Sih defigis e seh defisn." Warren held the small cup over the pentagram drawn on the floor, face solemn. "Take this offering to thy power. Take this offering of thy power. Take this offering from thy power."

He tipped the cup, dribbling the blood from it drop by drop on each point of the star. The lines glowed, first white, then a murky, frightening green. Warren stepped back, pleased, and watched as the light grew and expanded, stepping back from any contact. Soon, the light grew white again, becoming brighter and brighter until he couldn't look into it any longer. He turned his head away, shielding his eyes. There was a terrible crack of noise, then all was silent and dark again.

Warren looked back. The pentagram was gone, and in it's place stood the eight-foot tall Merexe. He grinned. "Well. Good to see you made it. Now, let's get on with the killing, shall we? Cause, I've got a little problem, and seeing as how I now own you, you're going to fix it for me.

Merexe looked at the tiny one before him and narrowed one of it's four eyes. "You called me?" It rasped.

Warren frowned. "I'm sorry?" He tilted his head. "Did you say something? It's tough to understand you with all the bloody froth gurgling from your...uh, well, I guess that could be called a mouth. Well, whatever. It doesn't matter, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In your case, eyes."

Merexe frowned menacingly.

"So, I need you to kill the Slayer for me, and this vampire named Spike. They seem to have my robot, and I need it back. I need it back really, really, badl-UNGH!" He choked as Merexe lifted him by the throat with a bumpy claw.

"You called me, puny one?" It hissed again, shaking him like a rag doll. Warren flailed helplessly, collapsing in an untidy heap as the demon suddenly let him go. "You do not control me! Merexe is all-powerful!"

Warren looked up at the beast. "I called you!" He yelled. "I own you! I did the offerings! The ovary of an unborn female child, the finger from the corpse of the dammed! The day-old bagel from the cursed baker! The-"

"You did not offer me thy blood!" Merexe roared. Warren paused.

"Welll...technically, no." He smiled sheepishly. "Not MY blood per say. The blood of the Red Cross. See, my own blood makes me faint. It always has, since I was a kid and my tooth fell out and I saw all this blood on it...rather tramatic, when you're only five, and my Mom, she said..."

"Silence!" The demon swiped a long arm and Warren's desk was suddenly cleared in a noisy clatter. "Shut up, little one! No blood, no power!"

Warren scuttled over to the corner, thinking quickly. "We can work it out! Make a deal, the two of us!" Merexe ignored him, coming closer. Warren panicked. "You can take my Mom!"

Merexe paused. "I will take thy mother." It said slowly, spraying Warren with pink bubbly liquid as it talked.

Warren wilted in relief.

"I WILL TAKE THE BOTH OF YOU!" Merexe screamed, and swooped down.

**********************************

"I don't see why we all had to go." Anya complained, following the gang up the sidewalk. "I mean, it's just one little geek. How hard will it be to stop a geek? What's he going to do, type madly on his computer at us? He IS a geek after all."

Willow stopped suddenly and turned around. "I take offence to the word 'geek'. I think you should use something more politically correct."

Anya raised her eyebrows. "Oh? And what would you like me to use? 'Coolness-challenged'? 'Fashionly-disabled'?"

Xander gave a short laugh, stopping at Willow's look. "Just call him Warren, okay An?"

"Thank you Xander." Willow said, smiling.

"Thaaaya Xaaaya." Anya mimicked under her breath, feeling stung by her boyfriends defection.

"I heard that!" Willow hissed, turning back.

"Shhh!" Buffy whispered, standing at the bottom of the front steps. "Be quiet, we don't want anyone hearing-"

The porch light flipped on and they froze, weapons in hand.

The front door opened and, as one, the weapons disappeared behind their backs. A tidy-looking woman with fluffy hair poked her head out, looking surprised at the amount of people in front of her house. "Oh!" Warren's mom smiled tentatively. "Can I help you?"

No one moved.

"Oh, for the..." Spike rolled his eyes at the frozen Scoobies and stepped forward a bit. "Is Warren home?"

Warren's mom smiled. "Warren? Oh of course he is. Are you friends of his?"

They all looked at each other.

"Yes!" Anya piped up.

"How wonderful!" Warren's mom smiled, relieved that her son finally had a social life.

"I'm his girlfriend!" Anya blurted out, warming to her role. She pointed to Xander in contempt. "I used to go out with him, but once I met Warren, well, it was all over for us. Warren's a real man."

"Hey!" Xander looked at Anya, upset.

Warren's mom looked at the group, taking in the upset-looking young man (thrilled that her son had gotten such a pretty girl from that attractive boy), to the older gentleman (a little old to be hanging out with such a young crowd. Maybe he was a chaperone), to the incredibly handsome blonde man (she swallowed a bit) and finally at the four girls.

"Are you twins?" She asked, nodding at Buffy and the Bot. Buffy looked mortified.

"They bloody are." Spike said, getting a dirty look from the Slayer.

Warren's mom blinked a bit. "Why is she holding an axe?"

The Scoobies looked at the Bot, standing at the steps, heavy battleaxe still in plain view, smiling brightly.

"She's a fireman. Firewoman. Person. A fireperson." Buffy said, wide-eyed. "She fights fires."

"Never leaves home without it." Spike patted the Bot on the back heartily. "Our little rescue ranger!"

"Thank you Spike!" The Bot gave him a loving glance.

"That's nice." Warren's mom said, mesmerized by Spike's accent. He noticed and stood up straighter.

"So, what's a lovely young woman like yourself doing home on a beautiful night like tonight?" He came up the steps, a slight smile playing across his lips. "I imagine some dandy's swept you off your feet. Or maybe Mr. Warren has chased them all away?"

Warren's mom patted her hair, flustered. "Oh, there's no Mr. Warren here." She stammered, blushing. Spike titled his head, eyes giving her the once-over, lingering on her modest blouse.

"Mmmm...how convenient." Spike leaned against the doorframe, eyes not leaving hers.

Buffy crossed her arms, watching the display. "So." She said loudly. "About Warren..."

"I love that material." Spike drawled, ignoring Buffy. "It looks soft." His voice dropped down to a whisper. "But not as soft as your skin I imagine."

"Oh my!" Warren's mother stroked her shirt, giving Spike a shy smile. "Such a flirt!" They laughed together, Spike turning his head and grinning at Buffy over his shoulder, enjoying her furious expression. "Oh! How rude of me!" Warren's mom stepped back, motioning with her hand. "Please, come in."

Spike stepped over the threshold, sending a smirk at the others. "Why, thank you...I'm sorry, I don't know your name..."

Warren's mom paused. It had been a while since someone had actually cared. "Lenore."

Spike paused, almost oozing sexuality. "For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore." He quoted, making her knees weak.

Buffy stomped up the stairs, rudely shoving her way past the lovebirds. "Where's Warren?" She asked, moving aside for the others.

"Oh, downstairs. I think he's playing video games, there's been a lot of shouting and yelling. He loves his gamebox, my Warren. Never wants me to go down there, says I'd break something-" She was cut off by a piercing scream. "Ah yes, there he goes again."

Giles looked at the basement door. "Mmm. Perhaps we should go...erm, partake in the 'video games'?" He said, looking at Buffy. She nodded and ran over, throwing the door open. More screams could be heard.

"I'll make some Kool-Aid." Warren's mom shuffled off to the kitchen, humming.

******************************************

"Warren?" Buffy ran down the stairs, stopping suddenly at the sight she found. "Oh wow. Ugly."

Spike followed, stopping suddenly at the last step. "Bugger."

"What smells?" Xander asked, face screwed in a twist. He peered over the railing and almost fell the last five steps in shock. "Holy mother of pearl!"

Anya followed Xander, dragging the baseball bat she'd swiped in the hallway behind her. It thumped down each step as she walked. "Hey! I found a great weapon! It's good for swinging and hitting, causing much pain and humiliation for your opponent, and...oh." She stopped and waved at the slobbering demon holding the shaking body of Warren. "Hi there Merexe."

Merexe paused in his threatening of the wee human and turned, taking in the crowd that had gathered at the bottom of the stairs. "Anyanka! Blessed be, it's been eons! You look not a day over 800!"

Anya shrugged and fiddled with the bat, pleased by the compliment. "Why thank you! And you look great too..." She gestured vaguely at it's broken teeth and oozing body.

"Please tell me you don't know this demon." Xander said, rather tiredly. He looked over at Merexe, who had turned away again and resumed shaking Warren. "I mean, look at him. He's all...eyed and Cujoed. And not in a good way."

Buffybot peered around Xander. "I need to slay that demon!"

"Whoa back there, you." Buffy held up a hand and the Bot paused, head tilted. "Just hold on, Anya may have some important information on how to defeat this monster. No need to rush in all willy-nilly now, is there?"

"I think there's a reason!" Warren yelled, in between shakes. They ignored him.

Giles cleared his throat nervously. "Anya, what can you tell us about this demon? Any weaknesses?"

Anya shook her head. "Oh, defeat Merexe? No, Buffy can't. He'll kill her, and then slaughter us as we try to flee in terror. It's hopeless really." She poked Xander in the side, voice lowered conspiringly. "If we sneak away now, we can get out before the carnage."

Willow looked at Giles, wide-eyed.

"Thank you for that, Anya." Giles nodded towards Buffy. "I think you'd better use extreme caution."

Buffy looked at him. "You think?"

Giles frowned. "Sarcasm will not help right about now."

Warren tried to focus on the people gathered in his basement, feeling a bit groggy after all the pummeling. "I thought you helped people!" He pointed unsteadily. "You're The Slayer! So slay!"

Buffybot looked at Warren, her programming urging her to protect him warring with her reluctance to enter the basement again. "I slay demons." She whispered as she watched Warren struggle against Helexe. "I have to protect the innocent!"

Buffy turned to Spike, who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking bored. "How well does she fight?"

Spike straightened. "Not as well as I do."

They stared at each other. "And I'm supposed to trust you, why?"

"You know damn well why." Spike's jaw clenched, annoyed with her.

"That proved nothing."

"It proved everything!"

"In the way that it didn't."

Willow came forward nervously. "Um, Buffy?" She pointed to Merexe, who had started chanting unintelligibly, a dark glow forming in the other end of the room. "This isn't looking too great for Warren. I think he's opening a portal."

"He's opening the door to his nest. We're fodder for his brood." Anya said, matter-of-factly. "They'll devour us alive in horrifying pain. Can we go now?"

Xander poked his head between Buffy and Spike, who were still glaring at each other. "I vote we drop the secret code-talk till after the battle. There's a big nasty oozing nightmare that wants to use me for baby food and, I gotta be honest here, not liking the idea. I'm not liking the idea of Spike even more, but we need him."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Xander's right." Giles said.

Buffy sighed. "Fine. Spike, Giles, the robot and I will go in fighting. Xander and Anya, you try to get Warren and his Mom out of the house before they get taken." She glanced at Willow, who was watching Merexe's portal in fascination. We need that door closed. For good."

"No problem Buffy." Willow nodded.

"Okay, let's g-" Buffy stopped as the Bot ran into the fray, axe swinging. "Show off."

The fight began.