Disclaimer: I absolutely, positively do NOT own Chrono Trigger. And...if you've read all 13 of the other disclaimers, I'm sure you know that by now. Good for you!

A/N: There's something I wanna clear up before you read on. Um, I didn't really intend for Crono and the others to actually catch Lucca and Magus in the act yet at all. When I look back at it, it certainly does seem that way, so I apologize for any confusion. It certainly is a close call (read on to find out about it!), but they actually haven't been SEEN going at it by the others yet. *Snickers evilly* No, I've already planned a couple of even more embarrassing ways for it to happen.

Lucca tapped her foot in frustration as she peered up at the sky, praying for the dear Lord to give her some more patience. Whatever amount of it she usually had was being sorely exhausted at the moment.

The source was Marle, as usual. She had run into the store, promising that she'd she'd be right out and yada yada yada...but now it had been fifteen minutes and she wasn't back.

"Oh, come on," she muttered irately, her shoe scraping roughly upon the concrete in annoyance. "It's just deodorant, for crying out loud!"

Normally Lucca was a very patient person, even when it came to stupid people. Normally, mind you. But today wasn't normal. She couldn't just wait it out and be still. Why, you ask? Because every time she had sat still so far today she had inadvertently thought of the terrible events of the previous night. And man, had they been terrible.

~Flashback~

"What are you doing, four-eyes?" Magus hissed, sticking his head under the blanket. "I certainly don't want to be the one to talk to those morons!"

"Well, I can't do anything until you GET OFF OF ME, you idiot!" Lucca snarled, desperate to get away from him. "All two thousand pounds of you!" She couldn't figure out why she didn't want Crono and the others to see them so badly, but it seemed to be the best course of action to take.

"How DARE you call me chubby, you little geek! I'll have you know-"

"Shut up and get OFF! Do you want them to see us?!"

"What's with the secrecy all of a sudden, four-eyes? Personally, I don't give a rat's ass if the spiky-headed fool and his friends know it or not!"

"Speaking of asses, get your hands off of mine!"

"What about your lecherous little pair of hands, poindexter?!"

"There, they're off! Happy now, Oh Prince of Nothing?!"

"Geek."

"Bastard."

"Four-eyes."

"Retard."

"Wretch."

"Asshole."

At that moment in time, pervertedly enough, (perhaps it was the desperateness of the situation) their animal instincts kicked in and they started up right where they left off, but after a minute or so-

Kino's voice could be heard booming out from the other side of the fire, by the Front Gate, "Yes! Yes! I see Lucca! She and her man over by fire!"

Upon hearing that Lucca suddenly garnered enough strength and managed to knee him good and hard in the groin. That probably wasn't the best thing to do, but it looked like Magus was just going to sit there and argue to high heaven while still on top of her, sooo...

He jumped up right away, doing a funny little dance while holding on to the affected area. "Ugh," he moaned, "that - was - a - low - blow, - four - eyes..."

"Well, geez," Lucca huffed, dusting herself off. "What part of the I-don't-want-them-to-know-yet don't you understand?!"

"Hmpfh!"

"Oh, hmpfh yourself, you ass!"

"GEEK!"

"MORON!"

"WEAKLING!"

"PANSY!"

And that was how Crono and Co. found them, luckily enough.

~End of Flashback~

Lucca sighed. Just the thought of it was emotionally scarring. They had had quite a time keeping it from the others when they first saw them, too; despite the fact that they had been well apart by that time, both of their faces had been such a vivid, fire engine shade of red that they had Crono asking if they were feeling feverish at all.

Lucca sighed again. Was Magus mad at her because of the whole ordeal? She really had no way of telling; they hadn't been able to see or talk to each other alone since, well, last night. They had decided to stay put and spend the night in Ioka; Lucca had wasted the night away lying down on a large bed of pelts, with no Magus to keep her company, sadly enough.

When it all came down to it, she wouldn't blame him one bit if he was mad. After all, pushing him away like that HAD been childish. Why had she done that? If anything, Magus was something to be shown off; keeping someone like HIM a secret was just wrong. Was she afraid of the others' reactions? Was that it? Would they disapprove of her little affair with the dark, enigmatic warlock? She really had no idea why she felt this way...

But right now she didn't have the chance to ask him. She was standing outside a large shop in Porre circa 1000 A.D., waiting for Marle to just get her damn deodorant already. After waking up in Ioka around noon they had come here to stock up on weapons, armor, and just some general things to help them through their journeys; modern-day Porre was well-known for its fantastic shops and goods. Everyone else was scattered about, all doing the buying for themselves; Lucca had unfortunately been forced to tag along with Marle on special request. ("Oooh, Lucca!" she had squealed. "You had better come with me; girls should stick together when they shop!") Damn her. If she had had the choice she would have had a private little talk with Magus; she definitely wanted to tell him why she had acted the way she did. He deserved at least that much, at any rate.

Another fifteen minutes had passed by the time Marle emerged from the store, wearing apparently what had kept her from coming out.

"Look at my new tube top!" she squealed. "Isn't it cute, Lucca? When I saw it, I knew. I just KNEW I had to buy it!'

Her sugar-induced joy was immediately squashed after Lucca shot the Angry Glare of Death her way for about five seconds.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry," she managed to stammer, after the five hate-filled seconds had elapsed. "Did you wait a long time out here? I'm really really sorry, it's just that I saw these really cute barrettes by the counter and I said to myself, why don't I-"

"Where's your deodorant?" Lucca cut in, crossing her arms.

Marle smiled nervously as she searched her bag. "Oh, uh, whaddaya know, I think I forgot it. Maybe I should go back in and get some-"

Before she could even take a step back towards the store entrance, Lucca had managed to grab ahold of her. "Don't even think about it, missy. We are going back to the Epoch NOW. NOW. Let's go."

Sadly enough, Marle's shopping spree had just been the beginning of Lucca's torment. After maybe taking two steps towards their destination, she piped up brashly, a big grin on her face, "Sooooo...you told me about your little trip, but not everything, I'm betting. So did you and Magus do anything...interesting?"

Lucca rolled her eyes. She had seen it coming; after all, Marle was not one to let things go. Yes, she and Magus HAD done some rather interesting things yesterday and the day before, but was she going to tell Marle that? The answer was a big resounding NO!!

"I already told you what happened last night," she said testily, glaring at her companion. "And I've told you this before, too: there is absolutely NOTHING going on between me and Magus. NOTHING. He did nothing but yell himself hoarse the entire time-"

"Ooooo, I'll bet he did," Marle replied, grinning unabashedly.

"Get your mind out of the gutter! Geez..."

"But seriously," Marle went on, adjusting the straps of her purse, "I wish you'd just own up already! The chemistry is there, even though all you two seem to do is fight...but then again, fighting can be, heehee, naughty..."

"Whatever."

"Oh, come on, Lucca! I KNOW you like him, I can tell! What's not to like? And just between you and me, I think he's kinda hot. You know, I even wonder how he'd be in be-"

"MARLE!"

"Yeesh, Lucca, don't go so ballistic! I'm being honest, and it's between us girls, so what's the harm in it?"

(Oh, there's harm in it all right,) Lucca thought to herself, doggedly marching on to get back to the Epoch as fast as possible. (Harm to my mental well-being, that's for sure. Although I DO wonder about that myself...)

For the rest of that long, agonizing walk, Lucca made sure to block out every word of Marle's, as she was sure there had already been extensive damage done to her cranial organs. Hmmm, perhaps stupidity DID rub off on others...

***

"You know what?" said Crono, once everyone had returned from their individual little trips and piled back into the Epoch, ready for departure. "I think we should call it a day. What is it, maybe five o'clock now? I doubt we'll get anything done even if we do go on."

"Oh, you're such a honey!" squealed Marle, hugging him so tightly that he looked like he was going to gag. "That's just what I was thinking. That would be just great. Booking a nice hotel would really give us the chance for us to have, you know...some reeeeal quality time..."

A collective moan rose from everyone in earshot, after Marle had forced them to imagine various depictions of what went on during Crono and Marle's, well, alone-time. Lucca herself had to stifle a giggle. She had no idea how Crono could even STAND Marle and her ditziness. But not like that concerned HER anymore, she thought as she jerked her head towards Magus in the back seat, wondering if he was still angry. No, he didn't look like he was in a bad mood. He just looked a little grossed out at Marle's comment. But that was a totally normal reaction.

Crono continued on, a little red around the ears, "Er---so no one objects?"

"Nope," replied Lucca. "Just take us somewhere nice." She very much wanted to sleep on a BED tonight, as she had been deprived of one for the last three nights now (although Magus's body had been a wonderful substitute during one of those!).

"I guess that'll work," said Crono, shrugging and turning the Epoch's ignition. "Just hold on, let's get this thing further away from town..."

***

Lucca could not have been happier. She had had a decent meal (meaning a meal without Jerky and/or dinosaur meat), she was lying on a huge, cushy bed, and best of all, she had finally showered for the first time in four days. Crono had picked one of the better hotels in town; and that was something, considering Porre was big to begin with. Yes, killing all of those monsters DID have its merits, she concluded as she thumbed through her dog-eared copy of Hypotheses and Theories About Man's Relation to the Universe; it sure brought in the moola to do things like this. But there was one thing missing...and that was some good companionship.

Well, technically she DID have companionship at the moment, although Ayla snoring loud enough to wake the dead on the other side of the room perhaps wasn't a good example of it.

(Grrr,) thought Lucca, shifting position so that she was lying on her stomach, (Leave it to Crono to mess things up again. Although I can't really blame him for not putting me with Magus; the poor guy thinks he's actually doing me a favor.)

That's what she was getting at, of course. She would much rather be sitting exchanging insults and quips with Magus than just lying here reading physics theories (and being forced to listen to Ayla's snoring, if it all came down to it).

"Oh, hell," she grumbled, standing up and looking for her shoes, "I might as well just go down there."

Carefully stealing a glance at Ayla to see if she was still sound asleep, she quietly left the room, shutting the door behind her with a quiet click, and padded down the hallway to where she believed Magus's room was. As far as she knew, he wasn't sharing a room with anyone, so she wouldn't have to worry about someone else hovering around and making her life miserable. That would have been bad indeed...

She found him sprawled on the sofa when she entered his room, looking totally relaxed and at ease. Upon her arrival, he put down the book he had been reading and raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, well, you sure took your time in dropping by, four-eyes. I was starting to get bored."

Lucca raised her own eyebrows. After all, she HAD been expecting some flack from him to some degree about the episodes of the night previous. "You're not mad at me?" she asked him incredulously, shutting the door behind her and crossing the room.

"Mad? What about, poindexter?"

"You know, about last night."

There was a short pause. "Well, I suppose kneeing me in the groin WAS a low blow, even for you, four-eyes, but it's nothing for me to be unconditionally pissed about. Other than that, well, anything else that happened wasn't unusual."

"Oh, you know what I'm getting at, you moron, and it's not that!" Lucca reprimanded, frowning at him.

"Ohhhhh, I remember now," he replied, a smile creeping upon his thin lips. "That whole little episode where you were trying to get away from me. What WAS that about, anyway, four-eyes? A little afraid of what your buddies might think?"

"Well, how DO I tell my friends that for the past two days I've been going at it steady with a tall, blue-haired evil-turned-good wizard that enjoys blowing up things for fun?" Lucca said in a rush, sitting down on the bed.

Magus shrugged. "Personally, I don't care if you tell the morons or not. On the plus side, if we did we wouldn't have to sneak around and everything would be out in the open... but then again...that could actually just create more problems for us. I don't know...do what you want." He clearly looking tired of discussing the matter, so Lucca decided to drop it.

"So..."

"So..." Suddenly they both seemed a little uncomfortable. Tension again...

"So why don't we go out and do something?" Lucca suddenly blurted out before she even considered what she was thinking.

"Huh?"

"You heard me, let's go, get out of here, enjoy the night!" Lucca exclaimed, waving her arms around.

"Aw, geez," Magus groaned. "Do we have to go out in public?! As if I haven't seen enough idiots today already!"

Lucca rolled her eyes. "Will it kill you to just TRY to have fun, you dope?! And you still haven't taken me out on a date yet, I might add! If last night happened to be your idea of a date, then it was a poor excuse for one, if I do say so myself!"

"Oh, all right, all right," Magus caved, standing up and heading for the door. "ANYTHING'S better than just staying here, I suppose. But I'm warning you, geek: you're not dragging me to a beach, or a ballroom, or-or an art museum! I remember that last time I was at one of those, and it was not pleasant." He shuddered.

"What?!" he spat, seeing that she was still standing by the bed, her hands on her hips. "I thought you wanted to go!"

"You're forgetting something, buddy."

"Like what, four-eyes? I don't see what you're getting at!"

"Um---you are NOT going out into public with me wearing that cloak."

"What's wrong with it?!"

"What's wrong with it, you moron?! Oh, I don't even know where to start! It's old, it's holey, and it's got stains of Only-God-Knows-What all over it!"

Magus grumpily undid his cloak and tossed it on the sofa. "There," he retorted huffily. "Are you now not too ashamed to go out in public with me?"

"And drop the scythe. It's not harvest time."

"But WHY?!"

"Just do it."

It took a little while for Lucca to convince Magus to part with his most prized possession for a set period of time, but she finally managed to wrest it out of his grasp and they were ready to go.

It was about seven o'clock when they left the room and out into the streets of Porre, and both agreed that they should arrive back around ten. They would probably be fighting monsters and looking for God-Knows-Whatnot the next day, after all, so getting a good amount of sleep WOULD be in order. That left them three hours to do anything they pleased.

Little did they know that those next three hours would be the most disastrous ever known to man.

A/N: *Grins mischievously* I'll just leave you to ponder that for awhile. And has anybody noticed that they're in PORRE?? If you remember something back from a few chapters ago, well...this could be a potentially nasty situation. Never mind...it WILL be a nasty situation, heh heh.

I'll get Chapter 15 out pretty soon. And I'll try and make sure that it's a lot more funny. This chapter seemed really half-assed to me; maybe it's because it's different from most of the others. Damn, this fic seems to drag on and on! I remember when I first started writing this I intended only maybe 12 chapters.

Remember to review, if you please! The ones that I got for my last chapter were so wonderful!