A/N: Dear Readers--

This is my official apology to everyone who was offended by the words- "Big friggin deal! It's still better than a bunch of those out there! If I do say so myself…. {the huddled masses- O please! Silvertongue, o please, say so yourself, silvertongue! Silvertongue- Okay, okay, I'll say so myself!}"

I now realize that this wasn't the bestest-in-the-westest thing to say. I was just talking (well, typing) and that happened to be the result.

I personally know a bunch of stories out there that I completely love, and that are WAY better than my own.

I didn't even know people actually READ the a/ns.

Usually they just skip em and read the story…..

I just wanted to apologize, for this, and for waiting for so long to update my NOT-THE-BESTEST-IN-THE-WESTEST story.

Turelulelu-

Silvertongue

(Don't bother with your PalmPilot Dictionaries, kiddies, it's not a word.)

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CHAPTER 10!

September 29, 2002- Lilly's Room

ODE TO KIDNAPPERS

Kidnappers, oh kidnappers!

Why don't you let me be?

Must you lock me in a small boring room,

With a small boring place to pee?

There's nothing here to read,

There's nothing here to see!

Cruel, cruel, kidnappers!

Please just let me be!

Later-

I've given up on screaming.

I don't think anyone's home.

Where are Drs. Moscovitz when I need them? When I want them to go away, there they are, psycho-freaking-analyzing me. When I want to see them? Poof! Gone! Abracadabra! Yackety yak! Don't talk back!

I hope Fat Louie didn't get out.

I mean, when Ski Dude opened the door- no. I opened the door FOR Ski Dude. Yeah. And I doubt Michael had time to close it before he ran down the street to terrorize me.

I've been in here so long.

I'm hungry.

Alfalfa sprouts would taste good right now.

Maybe some vegetable lasagne. Cheese enchiladas. Candy corn. Those little cookies Grandmere serves at parties I'm not supposed to eat, but do anyway, because they'd be really good if they were bigger, so I actually eat like ten of them at a time.

Good going, princess.

You've succeeded in making yourself even MORE hungry.

Damn.

Oo! I just remembered something I saw on the internet the other day!

Okay, a palindrome is a word (sentence, paragraph, etc.) that spells the same thing backwards and forwards, right?

I found a really cool one-

Dammit I'm mad.

Cool, huh!

Oh my God. I've been kidnapped by my best friends. I'm locked in a room with no interesting reading material. I've been in the afore-mentioned room for 1 day? 2 days? I have a headache, a backache, and every other ache it's possible to have. And I'm rambling about how cool palindromes are. Maybe I hit my head harder than I thought.

OMG.

A the door just opened. The front one, I mean. Someone's here.

They're coming up the stairs!

They're almost here!

OMG! OMG! They're unlocking the door!

MORE LATER!

Later-

It was Michael again.

Michael: Mia? Are you alright? You look awful.

Me: Thanks, Mikey! (Michael winced) Just what I wanted to hear!

Michael: *Sigh* I wanna talk to you.

Me: You are talking to me…………

Michael: You….. I………. This is going to be hard.

Me: What?

Michael: Mia. I haven't been stalking you.

Me: (Eyebrows raised) Oh? (I sounded like Lilly, heehee)

Michael: Yes! Quite the contrary, actually.

Me: What about the Polaroid, then? You admitted to taking it.

Michael: I DID take it…Just…..Damn!
Me: Michael?

Michael: It's not what you think!

Me: What do I think?

Michael: You think I took it because I'm stalking you!

Me: Haven't exactly given me anything else to think, Mike!

Michael: Damn it. You hungry?

Me: What?

Michael: Hungry? You?

Me: Me? Yes.

Michael: That's nice.

Me: Hey!
Michael: I was kidding………….. I'll go get food. We'll talk…..

Me: Get something vegetarian!

Michael: I'm not an idiot.

Me: I know….

I'm waiting for him to come back.

I want him to explain things.

I want him to tell me that he's not my stalker, I'm wrong, and that he's given up meat, and joining Greenpeace, and doesn't care about his USA citizenship, and that he wants to marry me and live in Genovia with me forever and that he's going to buy a white horse and buy armor and ride with me into the sunset because it's really pretty and cool, and I always secretly wanted to do that, and to be able to say he's my knight in shining armor, and that we rode off in to the sunset because we will, and I want to live happily ever after.

But I'll be happy with alfalfa sprouts.