*Harry Potter* ~ Gone Bad ~ Harry: Blimey! This ButterBeer is soo strong! I swear I've gone drunk! Ron: I know! But I can tell you that it's been worth a galleon! Hermione: You know what Harry, Ron?? I think that you've been drinking to much! Ron: *hiccup* Tell us something *hiccup* we don't *hiccup* know. Hermione: .Boys. Harry: Oh wow! There goes Cho Chang! I'm going to try to do her in the booty tonight! Ron: Oh look! The girl from Beauxbatons! I'm surely going to do her in the booty and maybe something else tonight! Hermione: I'm off to go look for Viktor! Harry and Ron: Oh, well, ok then, tell him I says hi! Hermione: You two are sooo stupid! Malfoy: Shut up, you stupid Mudblood! Hermione: *sniff* Harry and Ron: Yes! You tell her Malfoy! Hermione: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Fred and George: Shut up, you stupid bushy-haired, book nerd, freak!! Hermione: I swear.I'll tell my pare- Malfoy: Oh, go on then, tell your muggle parents.gee what are they going to do? Attack us with a.a.thing that shoots rocks out of them a. Harry: A gun Malfoy, a gun. Malfoy: Yes, that's right a er gun. Ron: No they're not. They're probably gonna attack us with braces or toothbrushes, considering they're dentists. Hermione: I'm telling Dumbledore!! All of them: We don't care!!! Fred: Well now that, that lots been taken care of. All us pure bloods can celebrate without a mudblood around! Everyone: Hoorah! George: Anyone want target practice? I can transfigure that pillow, over there, to look like Hermione and well we'll shoot her with our spells! Malfoy: All right then, I say, I'm going pretty dull in my target practice! Ron: Yes, lets! Harry: No wait! Everyone: What?!?! Harry: Fred, can you transfigure it into a full muggle family? Fred: Gimme some more pillows. Harry: Oh alright then! I'll get Hermione's pillows! Ron: Great idea! I'll come with you! In case Parvati's changing, you know. Malfoy: Are they serious? Parvati? Changing? Oi! Wait for me! I want to see some privates! Harry and Ron: Hurry up then! Fred: They act like they haven't seen mom's or Angelina's. George: And you have? Fred: Well yeah! I raped mom last year and I slept with Angelina last night! Lee Jordan: Wow! George: So.how good was mom? Fred: Well you know.she's experienced and all. Ron: Eugh! Gross! You slept with mom!? Fred: No.you did! You just forgot about it! Malfoy: Aaw! I never got a chance to sleep with my mum. She's always usually to busy with my dad! Fred: Oh well, then, too bad for you! 'Cause experienced women are so good! Especially when they give head! George: Hey! Angelina! Angelina: What? George: Want to be my slut for the next few school terms? Angelina: Sure George! Let's get it on right now! George: See, Malfoy? It's that easy! Malfoy: Oh alright! Parvati!!! Would you be my hoe for the next few weeks? Parvati: Sure Malfoy! But do you have condoms? Malfoy: Eeerrr..? Harry: A rubber thing that muggle men put on their dicks to keep the women they sleep with unpregnant. Malfoy: Do you have any? Harry: Well yeah! Malfoy: Yeah! Parvati, I've some! Parvati: Oh alright then!! Malfoy: Hehehe! Hermione: Hey! All you stupid jerks!! Everyone (with the exception of George, Angelina, Malfoy, and Parvati): Great.she's back. Malfoy: Oooh and what goes in here?? Parvati: Agh!! Ooooh Malfoy!! George: Hehehe! Angelina: No! Go down more! Dumbledore: What's going on here? Parvati and Angelina: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Malfoy and George: Guy what the fu- Dumbledore: Yes, guy what the fu--.how come you didn't invite me to the party? Harry: Well.we didn't know you wanted to come. Dumbledore: Well I sure do! Lemme at Hermione!! Herione: Gosh! *blushes* this is such an honor, I mean you're the headmaster at Hogwarts and all. Can I have your baby? Dumbledore: Only if you give me head long. Hermione: Will you support the baby with me? Dumbledore: Ahh! Hell Noooo! Hermione: Waaaah! I'm gonna go screw my boyfriend Viktor!!! Oh Vicky!!! Viktor: Yes, me sweet Her-my-knee? Hermione: SCREW ME HARD AND SCREW ME GOOD!!! Viktor: Vinally ve get to do someving vorth zis relationzhip. Ron: How come she gets to screw him??!! Let me at Vicky too! Viktor: Oh yes! A treesome! Dumbledore: Well.gimme some of those butterbeers. Thanks me lad, Harry. Harry: Uh yeah.whatever. Dumbledore.I-I I've loved you since I first saw you! Dumbledore: Harry! Harry: Aw I'm sorry Mr. Dumbledore sir but I've just gotta say my feelin- Dumbledore: Harry, that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me.want to make out? Harry: Thought you'd never ask!

And thas the end of the first chapter!! Hahaha! Dontcha love it?? I dunno if there'll be more.