Author's Note: This is inspired by a very weird dream I had last night involving a girl who could morph into a Taxxon. As you can see, I didn't quite stick with my dream. (Then again Sailorsaturn also killed the girl in my dream, so yeah...) This is probably one of the most graphic fics I've ever written, but I really like it a lot.
Yes, I realize the Taxxon in this story is probably too smart for a regular Taxxon. But who ever said that if free of their hunger, Taxxons wouldn't be smart? Also, the reason that Irijill became a Taxxon-Controller will be revealed in the next chapter, along with why the Taxxon calls Irijill an "it". I really hope you guys like this, even if it is really graphic.

Desperate Freedom
Chapter 1

So...

So hungry!

No eat. The Yeerk inside, Yeerk which had promised meat, said no. Meat was not allowed, not for now.
There would be no food because we had something important to do.
So hungry...so very hungry...the Yeerk dragged me to the pool. We would have meat, Yeerk promised, after we did our important thing. Maybe even lots of meat.
I had become familiar with the Yeerk Pool. Even familiar with the Yeerk. The Yeerk did not do much talking to me anymore, like it had at first. At first the Yeerk had talked a lot -- mostly to itself. Trying to remain an honorable Yeerk. That is what it told me. I never knew how that had turned out; all I knew was that it no longer talked to me.
Except for now. For times when we could have no meat, like when we were on the Bug Fighters. The Yeerk piloted a Bug Fighter using my body. Did this have something to do with that? No matter, so hungry!
The Yeerk screamed that we could have no meat again and we kept going forward. I saw something...no, a someone standing in front of the pier. Andalite, but not Andalite. I had seen an Andalite before when in the Bug Fighter. This was not an Andalite. I was certain of it.

That is Visser One. The Yeerk said to me off-handedly.

The Yeerk was both excited and terrified at seeing the Visser, I could sense that. It was aware that the Visser had summoned it for some kind of honor, but the Yeerk was also horrified at the possibility of invoking the Visser's anger. So was I.
Irijill-Two-Nine-Six. I was almost worried you would not have the control to come here. The Visser said.
No, Visser. I am in control of my host. The Yeerk managed to answer, I could feel the fear it felt.
I shared that fear. Even I knew that it was unwise to attack an Andalite. I feared the tailblade of the Visser.
Perhaps that tailblade could provide me with the meat the Yeerk had promised? I hopefully wondered.
Visser One wouldn't dare degrade himself like that. The Yeerk sniped at me inside of my own head.

Then the Visser addressed all at the Pool. My fellow Yeerks! You are witnessing a moment of history! Irijill-Two-Nine-Six will be the first ever Taxxon-Controller to be given the morphing power! For dutifully piloting and eventually shooting down the ship of the traitor Irijill-Five-Three-Two; I give you the ability to morph. You will have the honor of being the first of an experiment to rid our Yeerk brethren of the foul Taxxon hunger! The Visser was almost beaming with the apparent genius of his idea.

Experiment? I heard my Yeerk say softly to itself. The Yeerk seemed to be contemplating something. I felt the Yeerk's anger at being used like this, as some sort of test. I also felt some of that anger, though I no longer cared very much. I knew that if something happened to the Yeerk I would be affected. But unlike the Yeerk, I felt a sort of hope. If the Yeerk could morph...then perhaps, perhaps the hunger would end.
I hoped and I even begged my Yeerk to take the offer. Please let the hunger end...even if I had no control over my own body it would not matter to me. I had never had control of the hunger. It was tearing me up even now. If I were free of the hunger, nothing would matter to me. Even being killed by this Visser did not matter to me.
The Yeerk had not yet reached a decision. Its repulsion at the assumption it would willingly agree to be a test subject was still gnawing at it. Then the Visser spoke.
Irijill-Two-Nine-Six, please place your claw on the Escafil Device. The Visser told my Yeerk.
Then without hesitating it did just that. I felt a strange sensation pass through my body -- a sort of tingling. It wasn't painful, like both I and the Yeerk had expected it to be.
Now, Irijill, go to the human feeding area and acquire a few morphs, then you will report back to me.

The human feeding area had always been a hard place for me to go to. There was so much food!
Surprisingly, I heard the Yeerk groan inside my head at the thought of food.
So we were both very aware that it had been so long since we had last eaten...
The first morph capable Taxxon-Controller. The Yeerk said to itself more than it did to me. Some honor.
It was still angry over that?! I could not possibly believe this. I knew that the Yeerk felt the hunger just as sharply as I did. In many respects it was as much a slave to it as I was. So why, why could it not see that we had been provided a way out of this hunger, even if only for short amounts of time?
For one, I have more self-respect than you, you vile worm. The Yeerk spat back in reply to me. I was used to it. The Yeerk often would say such things to me when we were hungry.

It no longer bothered me very much. It wouldn't have bothered me at all, except that the Yeerk was right.
I had sold my own freedom for meat. Not that it was really freedom in any true sense of the word, but that had been what I'd done nonetheless. I was one of many who had betrayed The Living Hive -- my own Mother and Father. I had betrayed myself and any semblance of freedom I'd had for meat. Just like any Taxxon, I was that bound to my hunger.
Then I heard the Yeerk yet again. Secondly, don't you realize that this is more torture, you idiot?! More than the hunger! Don't you understand? We will be free of that hunger only to be forced to experience it again! Visser One will not allow us to become free of the hunger! He will only use us to lure more of my brother Yeerks and you vile Taxxons to this sad fate! The Yeerk was screaming at me, and I felt its outrage and anger flowing through my body. I realized, only too late, that it was right. This would not be the freedom of the hunger that I had dreamed of. The Yeerk obviously knew this as well as I did. So I wondered...
Why had the Yeerk accepted to this new situation?

Because. The Yeerk replied solemnly. Because I couldn't resist to be free of the hunger, if only for a few hours. Then with a wistful tone, it added I'm sorry that you got stuck with me. You don't deserve this.
I was too shocked by the Yeerk's compassion to reply to what it had said. Instead I just let it drag me into the human feeding area. There was no one present inside of it, though whether they had cleared it because of my Yeerk and I or because of the scent, I could not tell. Yes, the scent was overpowering. There was a small handful of animals lined up inside of the feeding area -- near where the human things called dishes were placed. I was not unaccustomed to viewing gore or seeing other creatures being treated horribly, but even my Yeerk thought this was a bit much. I full-heartedly agreed.
The animals had all been placed into lidless glass cages, mostly labeled in human language that neither I nor my Yeerk could read -- we Taxxons have no written language. There were two kinds of winged animals that I assumed would be used for scouting. They were not moving, and there was bright blood coating their small bodies. Depressingly there were still small feathers still sticking to their bodies, but they were otherwise void of them.
My Taxxon senses knew these creatures were dead. I wanted to eat them.

I could not do that, no matter how powerful my hunger. The Yeerk desperately fought against it and there was only a small fact that kept me from devouring the pitiful creature -- by acquiring it, I could escape my hunger.
The Yeerk placed one of my arms into the lid and focused for about a second on turning into the animal. Into the thought of no longer feeling the hunger. We acquired both of the dead flying creatures.
Of course, they were more animals present. Small earth creatures called insects. I had eaten one once, with a hard brown shell. It had tasted very strange to me -- it was crunchy. I had never had something crunchy before. One of those was inside a cage.
The Yeerk groaned again. I need that morph, so please stop thinking about it. It begged me.
I tried my best to do so even though my stomach was screaming from the hunger. The Yeerk managed to touch the creature long to acquire it, but in a moment later my instinct won over and we ate it. The Yeerk seemed slightly relieved at having eaten something, though I suddenly began wondering what the other creatures in the room tasted like. It was horrible.
We also acquired another kind of insect. This one was black, and had eyes similar to mine. I noticed that it ate through a tube, as did the Yeerk. It's almost as disgusting as us. My Yeerk said, attempting to joke.

Finally the Yeerk used my eyes to look around the room for one last morph. I noticed it lying in the cage before the Yeerk had -- a sleek, long creature covered in scales that were black and a light brown. It made me think, vaguely, of my own body. It was similar in a way...but, I felt assured, it did not feel hunger as I did.
Would you like to acquire it? The Yeerk asked me. Once again I felt stunned -- the Yeerk had never before asked me if I would like to do anything. I was so surprised I did not answer for a moments until the Yeerk snapped at me. Well, would you or wouldn't you?
Yes, I told the Yeerk. Yes, I would very much like to acquire that animal. So we did.
With a total of 5 acquired animals, my Yeerk had decided we had gotten enough of them and we left the feeding area to report to the Visser.

Irijill-Nine-Two-Six, I see that you have returned. The Visser remarked as the Yeerk slithered his way towards him. Yes, Visser. I have come back to you. My Yeerk said. The Visser's next remark was really rather smug.
You have an amazing amount of control over your host, Irijill-Nine-Two-Six. I do believe this experiment of ours may work after all. The Visser honestly believed that? That was a shock to both me and the Yeerk.
Yes, Visser. I will not disappoint you. My Yeerk said and I noticed that his voice sounded oddly controlled.
To me, he said something else entirely. Get ready to run.
Run? I was completely confused. What was it talking about? Where could we run to, and why were we running?
Him. We're running away from Visser One. Away from this hunger. Is that all right with you? The Yeerk asked.
Yes, I told it. I had absolutely no objections to running from the Visser, or from the hunger. But how...?
Morphing, you idiot worm. I would personally suggest using one of the -- the winged creatures. The Yeerk explained, and I noticed it's voice had choked up on the mention of the flying creatures. It could not forget them.
Irijill-Two-Nine-Six, I would like for you to demonstrate your new ability to all those assembled here. Visser One said. For the first time I noticed that a large number of high-ranking human-Controllers and even a few more Hork-Bajir-Controllers were watching the Yeerk and I. This did not help our chances of escape.
You really think so? The Yeerk asked me as he began to morph, choosing to take the form of one of the winged creatures. Then fate decided to throw the two of us, the Yeerk and I, a chance.
One of the human-Controllers watching us had suddenly started to shake violently, and she collapsed to the ground holding her head. Then she broke out into frenzied screaming. "I AM ERIN!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "I AM ERIN! ERIN SCHINER! I AM A FREE HUMAN BEING! I AM FREE!" The Controller had lost all control over her host. The Visser was outraged. "Esrith-Three-Nine-Ten! Control your host! Control your host!" Without a moment's hesitation, the Visser raised his tailblade. "I AM FR--" The Visser silenced the girl by stabbing his tailblade directly into her back, an action that if not fatal, had severely harmed the girl.
She screamed so loud it echoed throughout the whole Pool. The thing I most noticed, though, was the smell of blood.

I had no control over my actions, nor did my Yeerk. It had stopped morphing the moment the girl had taken control. We were now mostly Taxxon, and already slithering towards the injured human. With the last shred of sanity I had left, I prayed that the girl would already be dead.
With a sickening sound, the Visser removed his tailblade from the girl's back. She landed onto the ground right in front of the Yeerk and I. Fresh meat, all ours for the taking. Desperately, both the Yeerk and I were trying to resist the lure of the fresh and new meat. We could not.
I have no way to know for certain whether or not the girl was dead when we began to feed. I will not lie about that.
The thing I do remember was that her eyes were closed, and that she did not appear to be breathing. I assume, I hope against all hope, that she was dead. It may seem strange to hear of a Taxxon regretting what he has eaten, but if there was ever one feed I wish I could have avoided -- that was it.
Not only because I regretted devouring a poor girl who only wanted her freedom, though I greatly regret that. I regret it even more because of the action my Yeerk had decided to take while we fed.

The Yeerk had acquired her.

When we were finished with our meal -- which had only lasted about a minute -- the Visser seemed pleased.
All of you, take note of that! Anyone who cannot control his host will now become food for the Taxxons!
It was a unanimous, shared thought between my Yeerk and I -- what had we done?
And now, when we going to escape the Visser and this all-consuming hunger! What had we done?
Now, Irijill-Nine-Two-Six, please continue your previous activity. The Visser commanded.
So the Yeerk did, once again commanding my body to morph into the shape of the flying creature. Was the Yeerk still planning to escape? Even after what we had done?
More than ever. The Yeerk said, it's voice thick with regret. If it doesn't work... The Yeerk let the sentence hang there. I knew in my heart was it wanted to do. The Yeerk wanted to die, and it was asking my permission.
No. That was my reply to the Yeerk. No, I would not die. I would not let it die, either. We would escape, the two of us. There was no time to consider death -- we had to focus on escaping and that was it. No other option!
All right, then. We may as well try it. The Yeerk said, seeming encouraged by my rebelling against death.
The morphing had almost finished, a process I had not really paid that much attention to.
The moment we were done morphing, I knew. Not by looking at myself, but because I did not feel it.
Hunger...the hunger was gone. I did not feel the hunger! It is an indescribable sensation, feeling freedom that I did at that moment. The Yeerk was so amazed that he had lost his control over me for a moment. It quickly snapped back, however, with the Visser's words.

Irijill-Two-Nine-Six, would you now kindly demonstrate? The Visser teasingly asked. He assumed the Yeerk could not move in the body of this animal.
Having seen winged Earth creatures fly before, I knew that involved moving their wings. The Yeerk immediately used my memory of that and attempted to flap...a harder action than I had assumed. However, it seemed to have worked. Then I felt a surprising new sensation -- the instincts of a bird. Of course! The Yeerk said to me.
This creature should know how to fly. The Yeerk said to himself. So the Yeerk began relying on the bird's instincts, and we had flown over the Visser's head. That was a little higher than he'd have liked.
Irijill-Two-Nine-Six, that is enough. Come down now, or I will feed you to the Taxxon-Controllers, morph capable or not. The Visser commanded. The Yeerk laughed suddenly. As if they could catch me, Visser.
My Yeerk's comment had severely angered the Visser, and we began flying faster than we could imagine. Where was the best escape? I remembered that there were windows inside of the human feeding area, so the Yeerk flew in that direction.

I was certain we were going to die, though the Yeerk didn't even seem to notice my concerns. There were human-Controllers firing at us, and Hork-Bajir were madly slashing the air. I'm not sure whether or not I take pride in knowing we had stabbed a few of the Hork-Bajir in the eyes with our talons. Nevertheless, we were suddenly inside of the human feeding area. On seeing it with the eyes of this flying creature (I later learned it was a hawk) I suddenly found the place disgusting, especially the dead animals lying inside of the glass cages.
Then flying at a ridiculous speed, I realized what the Yeerk intended to do. He was going to smash through the window -- assuming it didn't kill us. It was times like this that I regretted not being in control of my body.

I heard it then, the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my whole life. The sound of glass shattering.

We were free.