"Okay," Raphael dropped his armload onto one of Don's lab tables,"Here's what I got. Silly string, whoopie cushion, invisible ink, rubber chicken, fake wig, invisible dog leash..."
"You stole all that stuff from Mike, didn't you."
"Yeah, well, whatever gets the job done," Raph shrugged and then continued,"Metal floss, nerdy glasses with a big nose and a mustach, a pet bug, squirting bow tie, clown shoes, finger trap, a gun...," he paused and pulled the trigger. Donatello flinched as a little flag pop out exclaiming 'BANG!'. Casually, he placed it back in and continued to sort through the belongings.
"Beaver teeth, clap boards, flexible pencil, zapping hand shaker, and....," he paused again.
Both of their eyes grew wide as Raph pulled out a porn magazine. Don turned away and hid his eyes while blushing profusely. Raphael glanced around and secretly slid it in his belt, whistling innocently. When the coast was clear, Don turned back to the junk, deciding to move on and ignore it.
"Ahem...uuhh...okay. I brought a Solar Dynamic Power System, Digital Channel Simulator, Pressure Sensitive Paint, Microgravity Micro Accelerometer, Silicon Carbide Electronics for High-Power, Lithium Ion Batteries, Numerical Simulations of Multifluid, Lightweight Nickel Electrodes, Digital Encoder and Modulator..."
"Okay, okay! I get the idea!"
"And a Indium Cold Welding 41 Liquid Manipulation Acoustic."
"You are such an egghead."
"Am not!"
"Am too!"
"Am not!"
"Am too!"
"Am NOT. And, by the way, you would not say 'am too'...'ARE too' would be more proper from your perspective."
"My point proven."
"Shut up."
Ignoring eachother they gathered their war materials for assembly and departed to set them up.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Mike strolled casually down the side walk with his chin tucked deep into the collar of his trench coat. Some starred at his short and bulkyness, but very few got a glance of his green skin. Faint Christmas carols echoed across the tall buildings of New York City, and rang in his ears chearfully. Christmas was always the best holiday. People were unusually cheerful and giddy. The overall mood just seemed to add an extra spring to everyone's steps down the muddy sidewalks. Cars crowded the streets, throwing slush at all angles. As he passed a poor begger playing a harmonica on the street, he paused and let a coin drop into the collecting bowl.
"Merry Christmas to you Sir, and God bless!"
Mike grinned and gave a simple wave good-bye.When he finally reached the alley, he paused by the sewer lid and watched the people passing by the alley enterance totally oblivious to him. He sighed and wrapped his coat tighter around himself. Cold days like this one just adds more effort to any short walk, but it was usually worth it. Unfolding the damp newspaper, he began to thumb through it. Once Splinter and Leo got their hands on it, he'd probably never see it again. Sometimes he even asked them for some old ones for Klunk's litter box. Although he never knew exactly where they stashed them. Suddenly an article caught his attention named "Furby Frenzy". His eyes scanned it back and forth and when he finished he huffed.
"Well that's weird. What kind of toy would a woman actually tackle and injure a little kid just to get the last one in the store?"
Shrugging, he put it back into his pocket and opened the lid. Suddenly, a zap surged up his arm.
"OW!" his voice echoed several times between the two brick walls surrounding him," Jeez, what the hell was that!" Pausing, he listened carefully when he thought he heard some retreating snickers from below him. Looking around suspiciously, he decided to try the lid again.
Zzssttt.
"Yoowwchh!"
Becoming frustrated, he struggled to get a hold on the lid and open it with out burning his arm off. Zzzsssttt. Zzt. Zzzzt. Zsssttt. His teetch chattered as the electricity surged through him. Finally, he gave up and decided to find a sewer lid else where.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Splinter ambled into the kitchen and stopped at the "Mr. Tea" appliance to fill his cup back up. Leo sat in one of the chairs at the table, reading a book with the furby sleeping in his lap.
"Has Michaelangelo returned yet?"
"No, Master. Sorry."
"Where are your other brothers?"
Leonardo shrugged, not even looking up from his book. Splinter nodded with understanding and guided himself to a nearby chair by his son. Carefully, he straighted his kimono out and slowly sat down.
Ppppppppfffffffffffttttttttttt.
Leo looked up from his pages, rather disgusted by the sudden fart. Splinter's short whiskers twitched with embarassment.
"Excuse me, I did not forsee that."
Leonardo, looked around the kitchen uncomfortably.
"Splinter...you might want to check...."
Splinter gave him a confused look. Trying not to become impatient with him, he motioned for Spinter to stand up. His Master obeyed, and Leo reached for the whoopie cushion innocently deflated underneath.
"Mike...," Leo seethed. Splinter examined it carefully.
"Is this one of Michaelangelo's humor contraptions?"
"Yes, Master."
The rat shook his head, departed from the room. As Leo sat back down, and he listed to the mumbling from the hallway.
"Kids. Twenty flips for that one. Dishonorable..."
The voice faded and he returned to his book. After reading a couple pages, he reached for his coffee mug on the table nearby. Slowly, he took a sip, not even letting his eyes stray from the paper. As he set the mug back down, he let his fingers uncurl from the handle, but to his dismay they refused to obey. Frustrated, he brought his other hand over and tried to pry his fingers from the handle without avail.
"What the..."
He flicked it a few times, tried to pull it off with a spoon, and even placed the cup between his feet to stable his heaves. Finally, he gave up and let it dangle from his palm.
"What is going on here?"
He thoughts strayed to the whoopie cushion. He looked towards it with an acid glare. Then, some writting on the pinkish rubber caught his attention. Picking it up with his good hand, he read the message curiously.
'Surrender the Hairball, or else!'
D & R
Suspiciously, he looked around. Did Don or Raph have anything to do with this? They were acting rather strange lately. His eyes laid to rest on the furby. What would they want with Mike's toy? Although completely boggled, he decided to just ignore this for now, and deal with his current problem.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Jingle bells, Bat Man smells...Robin laid an egg...," Mike sang softly as he searched frantically for another sewer cover away from curious eyes. It seemed like hours had passed since he encountered the first one. He made a note to himself to tell Donny about the electrical problem there. Starring at his feet, he thought he finally saw a rough and rusted edge of a sewer lid. Leaning over, he brushed the slush off, and gratefullness flooded him. Looking towards the sky, he outstretched his arms and mouthed 'thank you!' silently. He easily moved the obstruction aside and dropped in with a slight splash from the water below. He replaced the lid and sang to himself as he strolled down the tunnels in complete darkness. Suddenly, his ankels came in contact with something stringy, and he fell face first into a gooey and thick substance. Prying his face from the ground, he let his hands explore his face. Taking his finger, he scooped up a bit and put it in his mouth.
"Mmmm! Syrup! That's kinda weird...," he began to grope around the walls searching for whatever he had fallen over. When he finally found it, he gave it a good tug and suddenly flour exploded in his face.
"Okay..that was a stupid."
He wiped as much flour from his face as the syrup allowed, and shouted into the depths of the sewer.
"ALRIGHT! VERRRYYY funny! Hardy har har!"
Nobody replied. Then a tiny dot of light caught his attention. He sprinted towards it and it turned out to be a flashlight hooked on the wall with a beam shining on a note.
'Surrender the Hairball! Or you'll regret it!'
D & R
"Hairball? Doh-Doh?," Mike's eyes grew wide and he gasped. His baby was in trouble! He had to hurry! By now the syrup had dried limiting his movements considerably, but he ran towards to lair as speedily as possible.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"T'was the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as musculus."
"Donny!"
"What?"
"If you're going to sing 'The Night Before Christmas' then do it right!"
"Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas."
A growl emerged from Raph.
"The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums."
"DONATELLO! SHUT UP!"
"Okay! Okay!"
The two sat crouched together in a nearby vent, waiting for Mikey to pass by.
"Do you think he's coming yet?"
"Well, YOU'RE the one who put syrup there! That should slow him down a bit."
"Oh yeah? Well, YOU'RE the one who hooked the zapper to the sewer lid, making him take that long of a detour!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
The two broke into a fist fight, and roughly fell from the vent to the tunnel ground below. They grunted slightly, and continued their brawl. Suddenly, another voice interupted them.
"So YOU'RE behind all of this!" Mike glared at them from behind his floury face. They stopped abrubtly and looked at him in shock. Then they got up, brushed them selves off, and posed threateningly.
"Ahem...surrender the Hairball, or you will payyyy!" Donatello boomed. Raph nodded approvingly.
Mike gawked at them obviously unimpressed.
"Why?" he shrugged. They looked at eachother.
"Because you will payyyyyy!"
Mike rolled his eyes.
"I don't have time for this. I need a shower, Doh-Doh's probably lonely, and Splinter would probably like his newspaper if he can pry it open from all this syrup," he stopped taking a deep breath.
Raph and Don looked at eachother again.
"Okay, you asked for it!"
They pulled out cans of silly string, and sprayed him down until their cans were empty. As Mike kneeled on the ground, fighting his way through the enigma of foam, Raph and Don ran away to formulate their next evil plan for the commencing battle ahead.
"You stole all that stuff from Mike, didn't you."
"Yeah, well, whatever gets the job done," Raph shrugged and then continued,"Metal floss, nerdy glasses with a big nose and a mustach, a pet bug, squirting bow tie, clown shoes, finger trap, a gun...," he paused and pulled the trigger. Donatello flinched as a little flag pop out exclaiming 'BANG!'. Casually, he placed it back in and continued to sort through the belongings.
"Beaver teeth, clap boards, flexible pencil, zapping hand shaker, and....," he paused again.
Both of their eyes grew wide as Raph pulled out a porn magazine. Don turned away and hid his eyes while blushing profusely. Raphael glanced around and secretly slid it in his belt, whistling innocently. When the coast was clear, Don turned back to the junk, deciding to move on and ignore it.
"Ahem...uuhh...okay. I brought a Solar Dynamic Power System, Digital Channel Simulator, Pressure Sensitive Paint, Microgravity Micro Accelerometer, Silicon Carbide Electronics for High-Power, Lithium Ion Batteries, Numerical Simulations of Multifluid, Lightweight Nickel Electrodes, Digital Encoder and Modulator..."
"Okay, okay! I get the idea!"
"And a Indium Cold Welding 41 Liquid Manipulation Acoustic."
"You are such an egghead."
"Am not!"
"Am too!"
"Am not!"
"Am too!"
"Am NOT. And, by the way, you would not say 'am too'...'ARE too' would be more proper from your perspective."
"My point proven."
"Shut up."
Ignoring eachother they gathered their war materials for assembly and departed to set them up.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Mike strolled casually down the side walk with his chin tucked deep into the collar of his trench coat. Some starred at his short and bulkyness, but very few got a glance of his green skin. Faint Christmas carols echoed across the tall buildings of New York City, and rang in his ears chearfully. Christmas was always the best holiday. People were unusually cheerful and giddy. The overall mood just seemed to add an extra spring to everyone's steps down the muddy sidewalks. Cars crowded the streets, throwing slush at all angles. As he passed a poor begger playing a harmonica on the street, he paused and let a coin drop into the collecting bowl.
"Merry Christmas to you Sir, and God bless!"
Mike grinned and gave a simple wave good-bye.When he finally reached the alley, he paused by the sewer lid and watched the people passing by the alley enterance totally oblivious to him. He sighed and wrapped his coat tighter around himself. Cold days like this one just adds more effort to any short walk, but it was usually worth it. Unfolding the damp newspaper, he began to thumb through it. Once Splinter and Leo got their hands on it, he'd probably never see it again. Sometimes he even asked them for some old ones for Klunk's litter box. Although he never knew exactly where they stashed them. Suddenly an article caught his attention named "Furby Frenzy". His eyes scanned it back and forth and when he finished he huffed.
"Well that's weird. What kind of toy would a woman actually tackle and injure a little kid just to get the last one in the store?"
Shrugging, he put it back into his pocket and opened the lid. Suddenly, a zap surged up his arm.
"OW!" his voice echoed several times between the two brick walls surrounding him," Jeez, what the hell was that!" Pausing, he listened carefully when he thought he heard some retreating snickers from below him. Looking around suspiciously, he decided to try the lid again.
Zzssttt.
"Yoowwchh!"
Becoming frustrated, he struggled to get a hold on the lid and open it with out burning his arm off. Zzzsssttt. Zzt. Zzzzt. Zsssttt. His teetch chattered as the electricity surged through him. Finally, he gave up and decided to find a sewer lid else where.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Splinter ambled into the kitchen and stopped at the "Mr. Tea" appliance to fill his cup back up. Leo sat in one of the chairs at the table, reading a book with the furby sleeping in his lap.
"Has Michaelangelo returned yet?"
"No, Master. Sorry."
"Where are your other brothers?"
Leonardo shrugged, not even looking up from his book. Splinter nodded with understanding and guided himself to a nearby chair by his son. Carefully, he straighted his kimono out and slowly sat down.
Ppppppppfffffffffffttttttttttt.
Leo looked up from his pages, rather disgusted by the sudden fart. Splinter's short whiskers twitched with embarassment.
"Excuse me, I did not forsee that."
Leonardo, looked around the kitchen uncomfortably.
"Splinter...you might want to check...."
Splinter gave him a confused look. Trying not to become impatient with him, he motioned for Spinter to stand up. His Master obeyed, and Leo reached for the whoopie cushion innocently deflated underneath.
"Mike...," Leo seethed. Splinter examined it carefully.
"Is this one of Michaelangelo's humor contraptions?"
"Yes, Master."
The rat shook his head, departed from the room. As Leo sat back down, and he listed to the mumbling from the hallway.
"Kids. Twenty flips for that one. Dishonorable..."
The voice faded and he returned to his book. After reading a couple pages, he reached for his coffee mug on the table nearby. Slowly, he took a sip, not even letting his eyes stray from the paper. As he set the mug back down, he let his fingers uncurl from the handle, but to his dismay they refused to obey. Frustrated, he brought his other hand over and tried to pry his fingers from the handle without avail.
"What the..."
He flicked it a few times, tried to pull it off with a spoon, and even placed the cup between his feet to stable his heaves. Finally, he gave up and let it dangle from his palm.
"What is going on here?"
He thoughts strayed to the whoopie cushion. He looked towards it with an acid glare. Then, some writting on the pinkish rubber caught his attention. Picking it up with his good hand, he read the message curiously.
'Surrender the Hairball, or else!'
D & R
Suspiciously, he looked around. Did Don or Raph have anything to do with this? They were acting rather strange lately. His eyes laid to rest on the furby. What would they want with Mike's toy? Although completely boggled, he decided to just ignore this for now, and deal with his current problem.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Jingle bells, Bat Man smells...Robin laid an egg...," Mike sang softly as he searched frantically for another sewer cover away from curious eyes. It seemed like hours had passed since he encountered the first one. He made a note to himself to tell Donny about the electrical problem there. Starring at his feet, he thought he finally saw a rough and rusted edge of a sewer lid. Leaning over, he brushed the slush off, and gratefullness flooded him. Looking towards the sky, he outstretched his arms and mouthed 'thank you!' silently. He easily moved the obstruction aside and dropped in with a slight splash from the water below. He replaced the lid and sang to himself as he strolled down the tunnels in complete darkness. Suddenly, his ankels came in contact with something stringy, and he fell face first into a gooey and thick substance. Prying his face from the ground, he let his hands explore his face. Taking his finger, he scooped up a bit and put it in his mouth.
"Mmmm! Syrup! That's kinda weird...," he began to grope around the walls searching for whatever he had fallen over. When he finally found it, he gave it a good tug and suddenly flour exploded in his face.
"Okay..that was a stupid."
He wiped as much flour from his face as the syrup allowed, and shouted into the depths of the sewer.
"ALRIGHT! VERRRYYY funny! Hardy har har!"
Nobody replied. Then a tiny dot of light caught his attention. He sprinted towards it and it turned out to be a flashlight hooked on the wall with a beam shining on a note.
'Surrender the Hairball! Or you'll regret it!'
D & R
"Hairball? Doh-Doh?," Mike's eyes grew wide and he gasped. His baby was in trouble! He had to hurry! By now the syrup had dried limiting his movements considerably, but he ran towards to lair as speedily as possible.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"T'was the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as musculus."
"Donny!"
"What?"
"If you're going to sing 'The Night Before Christmas' then do it right!"
"Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas."
A growl emerged from Raph.
"The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums."
"DONATELLO! SHUT UP!"
"Okay! Okay!"
The two sat crouched together in a nearby vent, waiting for Mikey to pass by.
"Do you think he's coming yet?"
"Well, YOU'RE the one who put syrup there! That should slow him down a bit."
"Oh yeah? Well, YOU'RE the one who hooked the zapper to the sewer lid, making him take that long of a detour!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
The two broke into a fist fight, and roughly fell from the vent to the tunnel ground below. They grunted slightly, and continued their brawl. Suddenly, another voice interupted them.
"So YOU'RE behind all of this!" Mike glared at them from behind his floury face. They stopped abrubtly and looked at him in shock. Then they got up, brushed them selves off, and posed threateningly.
"Ahem...surrender the Hairball, or you will payyyy!" Donatello boomed. Raph nodded approvingly.
Mike gawked at them obviously unimpressed.
"Why?" he shrugged. They looked at eachother.
"Because you will payyyyyy!"
Mike rolled his eyes.
"I don't have time for this. I need a shower, Doh-Doh's probably lonely, and Splinter would probably like his newspaper if he can pry it open from all this syrup," he stopped taking a deep breath.
Raph and Don looked at eachother again.
"Okay, you asked for it!"
They pulled out cans of silly string, and sprayed him down until their cans were empty. As Mike kneeled on the ground, fighting his way through the enigma of foam, Raph and Don ran away to formulate their next evil plan for the commencing battle ahead.