Men with Guns
Chapter Seven - Contemplations.
Heero stared blankly at the ceiling without seeing it. His entire body felt numb as if he'd been outside in a snowstorm without a jacket, and only the sharp ache in his heart made him aware he still had anything below his neck. It had taken him a while to move from where he had been frozen in place by Usagi's harsh words. When he did finally move all he could do was make it back to his room and collapse on his bed.
Usagi's cold voice, the harsh words falling from her lips, her chillingly cold stare all ricocheting around his head.
*As far as I'm concerned the sooner this is forgotten; the better!* But that was what he wanted from the beginning wasn't it?! Ever since Usagi had gotten here his grip on his emotions had been slipping. Hadn't he wanted to go back to before the silver-haired warrior arrived, back to when he had been perfectly in control and his world made sense?
But even as the thought ran through his head he knew it wasn't true. Even though his life as a soldier was non-complicated, consisting only of the need to for fill his mission and ignore the complications of emotions, his life had been empty. Many times during a mission he had been tempted to just 'accidentally' get himself killed after he had completed his objection, if only to end the empty void that was his life. But every time he would remember the words Dr J had said to him just before he left during Operation Meteor.
*You are the colonies last hope. The Gundam suit is a powerful weapon and it takes a strong person to pilot it without becoming corrupt. You are that person, Heero Yuy. It is on your shoulders that the peace of the colonies lie.*
Billions of people's hopes resting on him. If it were just his own life he was risking he would have sarcome to deaths siren call long ago; he was prepared to accept the consequences of his own actions as long as no one else suffered for it. But it was unacceptable for others to die just because he made a mistake. And it wasn't something Heero was prepared to let happen. Even after the war had ended the boy had found himself lost. All his life he had been a soldier, he didn't know how to be anything else. But then Usagi had entered his life, and everything changed.
Heero found himself taking notice of things he'd never taken notice of before - he took more care in what he did and how he acted, he even started to taker interest in what the others were doing with their lives - something he's never done before.
And it was all because of Usagi, because she had taken the time to befriend him and care about him even if it wasn't returned. The silver- haired girl took the time to heal his broken soul, and to teach him it wasn't too late to find happiness. And he had. He found it in her smile, her voice, her love. He had found acceptance and contentment. She had accepted him for who he was, emotionless mask, war torn past and all.
And what had he done in return? He had pushed her away, turned his back on her when she needed his comfort and support, and had caused her pain - the thing he regretted the most. The heartbroken look on her face as he once more became the Perfect Soldier. She was everything to him, he couldn't loose her! But after what he did to her he wouldn't be surprised if she never forgave him.
*You put as much passion into that kiss as I did!* Her words rang in his mind. *It ment more to me.* Heero suddenly blinked and sat up straight, The hollow ache in his chest receding as he closer examined her words. She had put passion into that kiss. Everything she had done she ment - the kiss, the kind words she spoke to him that day in the music room and again when his nightmares unsettled him. the love in her eyes when she held him. All of it was real and backed with feelings.
Slowly the pain faded until all that was left was a nervous thump in his heart. He had to find her; explain to her why he was such a fool. The same aching need to be near Usagi came again, just like before but stronger. Now he knew why he needed to be with his tenshi.
He loved her.
Swinging his legs off the bed, Heero stood and moved towards the door. Now that he knew he loved her for himself all he had to do was find her and tell her. And hope she felt the same way.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Setsuna stared hard at the intricately carved silver hand mirror she held. Safely locked in her room without fear of being disrupted, the Time Guardian had gone into her element and summoned the Mirror of Now; it would show whatever the holder wanted, no mater what, as long as it was happening in the present. She watched as the mirror showed her the two young teens kiss, something about the scene bothering her. Why did this picture look so familiar? It's possible that Setsuna had seen it while searching the time stream from one of her many missions. She was often shown many things not relevant to her purpose and easily dismissed them to continue on with her task - there was simply too much going on in the universe for her to take notice of everything.
But no, it was more than that. It was too familiar to merely be a passing scene. It was almost like she had watched this happen before. The Garnet eyed woman allowed her mind to wander as she continued to watch. She knew in about 30 seconds Trowa would come and interrupt the couple, but still she tried to recall why this scene was so familiar.
She watched the mirror absently, not really paying attention until she saw her princess place her hands on Heero's shoulders. Her focus snapped to the image as in her minds eye she saw a ghostly picture of a dark haired man appeared in Heero's place.
Sailor Pluto gasped.
*Endymion!*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Usagi stared hard at the range of mountains in front of her. After leaving Heero she had immediately blasted off to work out her frustrations. She now stood somewhere on the continent of Australia, the remote land mass perfect for her needs.
She scowled and cupped her hands together to form a ki blast. Sure she was angry at Heero; the bastard had hurt her deeply and she was seriously considering blasting the jerk into the next dimension. But then she calmed down when she realized she was more angry with herself for letting it happen in the first place.
'I'm such a fool!' The teen cursed herself. How on Earth could she have done such a stupid thing?! Falling in love with the mysterious boy had not been part of the plan when she'd decided to befriend him and try to get him over his haunting past. If her father could see her now he would be ashamed. A saiya-jin, the last of a mighty warrior race, brought down by a mere human.
At the thought of her father the ache in her heart deepened. She'd been here for nearly five months now and she missed her home terribly. Sure the guys made sure she wasn't lonely, but it still wasn't the same. She missed her mother's light-hearted chatter when the two women would share mother/daughter time. She missed her parent's arguments that always made the pain of her training worth while. And she even missed her father's arrogant words as he taught her to fight.
She paused in her attack. Would she ever get home? A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she was forced to ask the question she'd feared to ask herself. But she quickly shook her head and blinked away the tears from her vision. She needed time to think, without the boys there to disrupt her.
Thank goodness she had spent so much time with Gohan and learned to survive in the wilderness.
All done.
Chapter Seven - Contemplations.
Heero stared blankly at the ceiling without seeing it. His entire body felt numb as if he'd been outside in a snowstorm without a jacket, and only the sharp ache in his heart made him aware he still had anything below his neck. It had taken him a while to move from where he had been frozen in place by Usagi's harsh words. When he did finally move all he could do was make it back to his room and collapse on his bed.
Usagi's cold voice, the harsh words falling from her lips, her chillingly cold stare all ricocheting around his head.
*As far as I'm concerned the sooner this is forgotten; the better!* But that was what he wanted from the beginning wasn't it?! Ever since Usagi had gotten here his grip on his emotions had been slipping. Hadn't he wanted to go back to before the silver-haired warrior arrived, back to when he had been perfectly in control and his world made sense?
But even as the thought ran through his head he knew it wasn't true. Even though his life as a soldier was non-complicated, consisting only of the need to for fill his mission and ignore the complications of emotions, his life had been empty. Many times during a mission he had been tempted to just 'accidentally' get himself killed after he had completed his objection, if only to end the empty void that was his life. But every time he would remember the words Dr J had said to him just before he left during Operation Meteor.
*You are the colonies last hope. The Gundam suit is a powerful weapon and it takes a strong person to pilot it without becoming corrupt. You are that person, Heero Yuy. It is on your shoulders that the peace of the colonies lie.*
Billions of people's hopes resting on him. If it were just his own life he was risking he would have sarcome to deaths siren call long ago; he was prepared to accept the consequences of his own actions as long as no one else suffered for it. But it was unacceptable for others to die just because he made a mistake. And it wasn't something Heero was prepared to let happen. Even after the war had ended the boy had found himself lost. All his life he had been a soldier, he didn't know how to be anything else. But then Usagi had entered his life, and everything changed.
Heero found himself taking notice of things he'd never taken notice of before - he took more care in what he did and how he acted, he even started to taker interest in what the others were doing with their lives - something he's never done before.
And it was all because of Usagi, because she had taken the time to befriend him and care about him even if it wasn't returned. The silver- haired girl took the time to heal his broken soul, and to teach him it wasn't too late to find happiness. And he had. He found it in her smile, her voice, her love. He had found acceptance and contentment. She had accepted him for who he was, emotionless mask, war torn past and all.
And what had he done in return? He had pushed her away, turned his back on her when she needed his comfort and support, and had caused her pain - the thing he regretted the most. The heartbroken look on her face as he once more became the Perfect Soldier. She was everything to him, he couldn't loose her! But after what he did to her he wouldn't be surprised if she never forgave him.
*You put as much passion into that kiss as I did!* Her words rang in his mind. *It ment more to me.* Heero suddenly blinked and sat up straight, The hollow ache in his chest receding as he closer examined her words. She had put passion into that kiss. Everything she had done she ment - the kiss, the kind words she spoke to him that day in the music room and again when his nightmares unsettled him. the love in her eyes when she held him. All of it was real and backed with feelings.
Slowly the pain faded until all that was left was a nervous thump in his heart. He had to find her; explain to her why he was such a fool. The same aching need to be near Usagi came again, just like before but stronger. Now he knew why he needed to be with his tenshi.
He loved her.
Swinging his legs off the bed, Heero stood and moved towards the door. Now that he knew he loved her for himself all he had to do was find her and tell her. And hope she felt the same way.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Setsuna stared hard at the intricately carved silver hand mirror she held. Safely locked in her room without fear of being disrupted, the Time Guardian had gone into her element and summoned the Mirror of Now; it would show whatever the holder wanted, no mater what, as long as it was happening in the present. She watched as the mirror showed her the two young teens kiss, something about the scene bothering her. Why did this picture look so familiar? It's possible that Setsuna had seen it while searching the time stream from one of her many missions. She was often shown many things not relevant to her purpose and easily dismissed them to continue on with her task - there was simply too much going on in the universe for her to take notice of everything.
But no, it was more than that. It was too familiar to merely be a passing scene. It was almost like she had watched this happen before. The Garnet eyed woman allowed her mind to wander as she continued to watch. She knew in about 30 seconds Trowa would come and interrupt the couple, but still she tried to recall why this scene was so familiar.
She watched the mirror absently, not really paying attention until she saw her princess place her hands on Heero's shoulders. Her focus snapped to the image as in her minds eye she saw a ghostly picture of a dark haired man appeared in Heero's place.
Sailor Pluto gasped.
*Endymion!*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Usagi stared hard at the range of mountains in front of her. After leaving Heero she had immediately blasted off to work out her frustrations. She now stood somewhere on the continent of Australia, the remote land mass perfect for her needs.
She scowled and cupped her hands together to form a ki blast. Sure she was angry at Heero; the bastard had hurt her deeply and she was seriously considering blasting the jerk into the next dimension. But then she calmed down when she realized she was more angry with herself for letting it happen in the first place.
'I'm such a fool!' The teen cursed herself. How on Earth could she have done such a stupid thing?! Falling in love with the mysterious boy had not been part of the plan when she'd decided to befriend him and try to get him over his haunting past. If her father could see her now he would be ashamed. A saiya-jin, the last of a mighty warrior race, brought down by a mere human.
At the thought of her father the ache in her heart deepened. She'd been here for nearly five months now and she missed her home terribly. Sure the guys made sure she wasn't lonely, but it still wasn't the same. She missed her mother's light-hearted chatter when the two women would share mother/daughter time. She missed her parent's arguments that always made the pain of her training worth while. And she even missed her father's arrogant words as he taught her to fight.
She paused in her attack. Would she ever get home? A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she was forced to ask the question she'd feared to ask herself. But she quickly shook her head and blinked away the tears from her vision. She needed time to think, without the boys there to disrupt her.
Thank goodness she had spent so much time with Gohan and learned to survive in the wilderness.
All done.