The same old legal stuff: I don't own "Slayers" or its characters. That also includes Sailor Moon. I also don't own "Stake and Shake®", "Sweet n Low"®, Yahoo® or any product thingy I attach with an "®"
Enjoy the story!!
------------
Amelia Wil Tesla Sairuun and Xellos Metallum were sitting on a couch, sipping tea. In front of them was a plate full of Oreo® cookies (mmm…double stuff) set upon a glass coffee table. Unfortunately, their attention was not focused on the cookies, but toward a certain authoress whose focus was on the computer.
"Miss. Authoress, did you figure out a story line yet?" As the princess reaches for an Oreo®.
However, there was no answer from the girl in front of the computer. She was busily typing away as if her life depended on it. It had been like this for the past two hours. She had said not a word to her two anime guests after she had served them the tea and cookies. They had heard nothing but rigorous keystrokes and sudden movements of the mouse.
"Fillia!" Xellos yells out loud. He was having a dream about a certain golden dragon beating him up with her mace. For some strange reason—only monsters and masochists would know (since those terms define him so well)—was enjoying his beatings. "Yeah! Hit me baby one more time!"
"Mr. Xellos! Mr. Xellos wake up!!" as Amelia shakes the priest to wake him up.
"Huh, oh! How long was I asleep?" said the half awake, horny priest.
"Only a half an hour." Said the princess. "Fillia! Miss Authoress was right! Plus, I love Britney Spear's Music. She's like, totally cool. It' is so sad she broke up with Justin. Speaking of Justin, isn't he dreamy! Sigh! Oh, I wish I can get NSYNC tickets. They are so cool…"
The irate monster interrupts, "Never you mind what you heard. So, she's still at it?"
"Yeah!"
"Wow, she looks so serious!" said Xellos. "This should be an interesting story!"
"Well, I hope so."
Suddenly, the look of frustration crept upon the writer's face. Then she screamed, "No, no, no…Sailor Moon®…Sailor Moon®….argggg!"
Her two guests look puzzled after her remark. The monster was not really happy to hear what she was saying.
"Oh dear, I hope she doesn't make this a cross over with that meatball head!"
"Mr. Xellos, what's wrong with Miss. Serena? She is my hero. Sailor Moon® stands for truth, justice, and love; which are the three important things I base my life on!"
As she said all this, she strikes her famous pose on top of the coffee table. Luckily, the cookies come to no harm.
Xellos, looking very queasy, "That is what I'm afraid off."
"Bacon…you morons…its bacon!"
Xellos and Amelia, "Bacon!"
They both head towards the authoress and her computer with curiosity, and they take a look at the monitor. As soon as they look at the screen, they faint immediately. Apparently the authoress had been playing 'Yahoo Graffiti®' (an addicting fast action pictionary game) for the past two hours.
Meanwhile…"Hmmm. Lina, I wonder where Amelia and Xellos went, but most of all our authoress?" Asked Gourry Gabriev.
There was no answer from the sorceress. Amelia and Xellos are probably in a hotel room somewhere. 'Speaking of rooms, maybe Gourry and I should get a room together. We were so rudely interrupted. Also, I'm glad that stupid authoress is not here, but then again…she could be watching us right now. I have to be more careful. By the way, where's Zel?'
"Hey Lina, where's Zelgadis?"
"I was just about to ask that…he was following us a couple of seconds ago."
After the Amelia and Xellos incident, Lina, Gourry, and Zelgadis were traveling to the nearest town—or should one say--the nearest restaurant. On their way to the town, Zelgadis was unusually quiet. Zelgadis is usually a quiet man/chimera, but this sort of quietness was rather ere. He had a look of madness with a hint of revenge in his eyes as opposed to his usual placid deadpan visage. Of coarse he had a reason that he should look the way he does. The guy had just lost the love of his life (although the audience knows that the Amelia/Xellos thing was all an act) to Xellos. Not only did he lose his girl…no…now woman…to his most hated enemy, that hated enemy deflowered her. On top of that, he was a monster, the general/priest of a dark lord, and a handsome monster at that—according to what most fan girls say. Damn you, Rezo! What was bothering him the most was the deflowering part. He always thought of Amelia as someone to have relations with as soon as he became human. To him, the princess was everything that was pure and good. She had reached into his soul and brought out the best of his being. She gave him a reason for existence and the new reason why his cure was important. But most of all was what, he truly believed that…that…that he was the one and only one to deflower her!
'Why would the writers of the Slayers series pair me up with her? For crying out loud, we're a cannon couple…I think? We cast 'Rah Tilts' together. We are a team. And that…monster…that monster stole her away from me! I don't understand!'
**Flashback** .
"Look here, Mr. Zelgadis, I'm nearly seventeen years old (toward the end of Try) and I know more about sex than you do, right Xellos!"
**End Flashback**
"Why? Why, Amelia? I thought you loved me!'
Zelgadis glanced down on the bracelet that the dark haired princess had given him. 'No, my Amelia would never do this to me. She would never hurt me like this unless…unless if she were written like that. Yes, I forgot that this is a fanfic.' Zelgadis tightly grabs hold of the bracelet. 'I shall get my revenge on you, Authoress, and you too Xellos!' Zelgadis is now smirking while gazing upon the trinket at the same time stroking it. 'Ahh yes! Yes, my Amelia, you will be mine once more!'
*********
Now, if one is in deep thought and walking at the same time. That person tends to wonder off unknowingly. Which was the reason how our tortured chimera was separated from Lina and Gourry, who were looking for him.
"How in the world did we lose that stupid chimera, anyways? When I find him, I will make him pay dearly!" said Lina. They had been looking for their friend for some time. She was getting really irritated about the whole situation. If anyone who knows Lina Inverse, knows that the sorceress gets a bit cranky if she is hungry and tired. Also to note, it was extremely hot outside. This worsened her condition. She was a firecracker ready to ignite.
"Hey Lina, what are we doing again??" said Gourry looking idiotically innocent. (Poor Gourry.)
Firecracker ignited. Ready to setoff in 5…4…3…2…1…
"FIREBALL!!!"
After the wonderful display of pyrotechnics, Lina gathered the living remains of her blond guardian, and quickly 'ray winged' to the nearest town.
"We'll look for him after we get something to eat—and when we are properly rested. (That's if we get any rest. Heh, heh!) Zel's a big boy, he can take care of himself." Lina said to a burnt and unconscious Gourry.
When they reached the town, they noticed the towns people (mostly women) lining the streets.
"He's coming! How do I look?" said one woman fixing her hair.
"Not as good as I do!" said her friend adjusting her falsies to the correct height.
"Umm, what's going on here?" Lina asked the lady fixing her hair. Where did she get those falsies, they look so real!
The lady turned to Lina and said, "You better not get in my way. The prince is all mine!"
"Hey, he's mine!" her friend said automatically. A group of women surrounding them also argued and made claims on this so-called prince. Then a fight broke out.
"This is getting dangerous. Gourry, lets get out of here! Gourry?"
Lina then saw a woman with tacky makeup and an ugly dress dragging the poor man away.
"Hey, Lady, I'm spoken for. Lina, help me?"
"Flare Arrow!" Lina screamed hitting the woman and surprisingly missing Gourry. She then grabbed hold of the swordsman by the hair and dragged him away from the burnt mess.
"Thanks Lina!"
"How dare she try to steal what's mine. Grrrr!" Lina was about to cast another spell on the woman, but Gourry put a stop to that.
"Oh forget about her, she's knows now not to mess with you! Let's get us some food!!" The swordsman always has a way to calm her down.
"Food!" Lina then grabbed hold of his golden hair and dragged him to the nearest restaurant.
'Why the hair…why always the hair?' Gourry thought to himself.
****
After their large meal, Lina and Gourry were relaxing with their bellies full.
"Lina, wasn't that meal great!" Gourry said while picking his teeth with a small sharp chicken bone.
"Yup, isn't food wonderful? You know, Gourry, we have some time, to spend. Why won't we get a room and get some 'rest'? I bet Zel, will find his way here by himself." Lina said slyly with that carnal desire thing in her eyes.
"Yeah, it would be nice to get a few winks. I'll get the rooms for us!" Gourry said.
Then he realized something. "Did you say 'room'?"
"Yes. Wow, Gourry, that's uncharacteristically perceptive of you!"
Then he notices the look in her eyes and immediately carries her off to the nearest inn.
"We would like a room please and we would like one NOW!" Gourry demanded forcefully.
"I'm sorry, sir. There are no rooms available due to the annual prince convention." Said the receptionist.
"Oh, you will find a room for us, mister! Or else!" replied an evil looking Gourry.
"Or, else what, sir?" in that snooty John Cleese, 'Faulty Towers' British accent.
The blond gently puts Lina down. "Fireball!!!" as a huge ball of flame appears from the swordsman's hands and hits the jerk of a receptionist.
"Cough! Bellboy, take these fine people to their room, immediately!" said the crispy receptionist.
"Wow, Gourry, you're so demanding all of the sudden! Where did you learn how to fireball like that? Me likey!" Lina said in a seductive voice.
Gourry picks up the sorceress again and replies, "Well, Lina, you always fireball me…and well…"
Lina does not know how to react to this comment. Then Gourry immediately says, " fireballs remind me of my fiery passion for you!"
Nice save, blond man.
"I want you now!" growled Lina.
Gourry grabs the keys from the bellboy and runs to their room—with Lina in his arms. Unfortunately, the blond and the girl run into a wall…a very hairy wall. They both look up and see a familiar face.
They say in unison with that unbelievable look on their faces, "Prince Phil!"
"'Scream' It's him, Prince Phil, the sexiest man on earth!!" said a woman nearby.
Then the screaming barrage of women our two travelers met earlier, heard the woman's cries and chased after the hairy prince.
"Ahh, Lina, Gourry, help me!" as the prince hides behind them.
"So," said the sorceress supreme, how much are you going to pay us?"
==
Next time:
Will Lina and Gourry ever make it to their room?
What? Prince Phil and Sylphiel.
The authoress finally has a storyline.
You better watch out Xellos and Lady Authoress, Zelgadis is out for blood. (Does mazuku have blood??)
We still don't know how this all connects with saving the world?
Stay tuned!!!
===
Notes:
Yeah, another chapter finished! It has a bit of a serious/fluffy flare to it because of our lovable chimera. Also, I liked a bit of angsty Zel. He's a bit insane right now, and he'll get worse later on. Yeah!!! I also assumed that Amelia would like pop music. It's like totally her. I was getting lazy making up other names for the Slayers characters, but I'll try to make more up later on. If you have any ideas, feel free to share! Thanks for the reviews: Imaginary Oreo® Double stuff cookies for you guys!