again, i own nothing. i merely borrow without permission. Gee, that seems to sum up existence in general, doesnt it?
ahh, writing fanfic is good. an easy way to write because when i try to write my own things i get so hung up about it. *frowns* sorry to whine, im just having problems with something im writing right now. Stupid head o' mine.
thanks for the reviews, they make me feel all warm inside.
not much happens in this chapter, just people thinking and me obsessing over the image of the night i've created here. Fun.
gee, why am i so babbly tonight? and why does the word "gee" keep popping into my head. It's a fun sound though.
************************
The stars shot like bullets through that clear crisp night, eleven o'clock approaching swiftly and about to fall away - Rory leaned back on her bed, frowning, an open book (large and ominous school book) forgotten in her lap. Lorelai hadn't returned, Lane at the last possible minute sprinted reluctantly home, her eager energy clinging to each passing moment before returning to that strange world of her mother.
Dean had called, and as much as Rory wanted to be madly in love and happy, hearing his voice on the phone she wondered if he called because he missed her, or to check up on her, or because it was appropriate boyfriend behavior. The conversation rung hollow and mundane on the house strangely bright against the shattering night. Now, in the comforting dimness, Rory couldn't remember what they'd talked about, no matter how hard she concentrated.
But this wasn't supposed to end. And even if it wasn't working, how would it end? And what would life be like if there was suddenly no more Dean?
Maybe easier, she sighed. Was there a Dean now at all? Empty conversations and tense encounters. She could hardly even remember what it was they'd lost. But she didn't know how to change things for herself right now, only how to let them happen. Was that how she'd ended up with him in the first place? Perhaps. She couldn't remember any distinct decision, any effort she made. She realized now that she really didn't love him, that it was just easier to keep going until it faded away completely.
Lane had tried to encourage her to stick with Dean. Animosity toward Jess, perhaps. Or the hope that love and relationships - something so difficult for Lane to take part in - could remain beautiful, that romantic enthusiasm Lane had for the world outside Mrs. Kim's insanity.
She tossed her book on the floor with an annoyed exhalation, pouting at the air in front of her, eyes vacant. With a shake of her head, the frown melted away to discontent, and she leaned over to straighten out the thrown book before turning her light off and burrowing under the covers. Her eyes fixed themselves on the ceiling, waiting for sleep to sneak unnoticed upon her distressed mind.
*******
The night was beautiful in its dark clarity. Lorelai watched the sky from the center of town, her mind calmer and entranced, rippling out into the expanses of existence. With this calm, with this centering she focused on Luke. Imagined seeing him now, sharing this with him and feeling his embrace. She smiled, and listened to the soft tap of her footsteps as she floated home through the night.
Her body felt suddenly heavy and tired as she made those last steps into the house, into a brightly lit kitchen set against the darkness and silence of the rest of the house. Rory was in bed, she could tell, she could feel it in the heaviness of the world around her. Smiling slightly, Lorelai made her way to Rory's bedroom, peeking tentatively through the door.
"Long walk." Came the voice from the darkness, Rory lying on her back still staring at the ceiling.
"Yeah. Good walk. You're a smart one, kid."
"Any great epiphanies?"
"Other than deciding that Kirk and Taylor will fall madly in love and take over the town?"
Rory was sitting up now, smiling sleepily with her hair softly blanketing her.
She rolled her eyes, "About Luke."
"Maybe." Lorelai's grin was playful, her voice teasing.
"Well."
"I think I love him."
"You think?"
"I'm pretty sure."
"Wow."
"I know."
"Wow."
"You can stop saying that now."
"This is big."
"Yeah." Lorelai frowned, her mind emerging from the stillness of her walk, remembering the situation - the kiss, Luke - the euphoric cloud of her realization yielded to her fear of the reality. She frowned even more now, eyes seeking out the floor in consternation.
"That's great, Mom."
"How is that great?"
"You and Luke."
"No. Me ... In love with Luke, who doesn't love me."
"How do you know he doesnt love you?"
"It's not possible for me to be that lucky."
"Maybe," Rory began, "You haven't been lucky because you're meant to be with luke." Her voice filled the air, optimistic and comforting.
"So what do I do?"
"Difficult situation."
"Rooorrrryyy" Lorelai whined, but her face smiled vaguely through the darkness and she gave her daughter a playful shove.
"Sorry. Talk to him."
"What should I say? Do I apologize for my idiocy and have things be awkward for awhile, or tell him i love him and never see him again."
"Did he kiss you back?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm. I don't know, Mom."
"I need a new therapist."
"But we take far too long to grow. It'll be another 16 years before you'd have another as qualified as me so you better stick with the one you've got."
"You're saying only a homegrown therapist would suffice?"
"Trust me, Mom, it takes this many years of living with you to understand your mind at all. You're stuck with me."
"I should've traded you in early, huh?"
She hugged Lorelai, mumbling, "Cheer up, I'm sure everything will be fine."
"Easy for you to say. So how's the Dean issue?"
Rory groaned, rolling her face back to the bed to hide in the pillow.
"Oh, babe, you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm okay. We'll discuss it tomorrow. I just want to sleep right now."
"Alright hon. G'night." Lorelai kissed Rory's hair covered face, and softly left the room. She padded through the house, frowning slightly but protected still by the night, and went to bed.
ahh, writing fanfic is good. an easy way to write because when i try to write my own things i get so hung up about it. *frowns* sorry to whine, im just having problems with something im writing right now. Stupid head o' mine.
thanks for the reviews, they make me feel all warm inside.
not much happens in this chapter, just people thinking and me obsessing over the image of the night i've created here. Fun.
gee, why am i so babbly tonight? and why does the word "gee" keep popping into my head. It's a fun sound though.
************************
The stars shot like bullets through that clear crisp night, eleven o'clock approaching swiftly and about to fall away - Rory leaned back on her bed, frowning, an open book (large and ominous school book) forgotten in her lap. Lorelai hadn't returned, Lane at the last possible minute sprinted reluctantly home, her eager energy clinging to each passing moment before returning to that strange world of her mother.
Dean had called, and as much as Rory wanted to be madly in love and happy, hearing his voice on the phone she wondered if he called because he missed her, or to check up on her, or because it was appropriate boyfriend behavior. The conversation rung hollow and mundane on the house strangely bright against the shattering night. Now, in the comforting dimness, Rory couldn't remember what they'd talked about, no matter how hard she concentrated.
But this wasn't supposed to end. And even if it wasn't working, how would it end? And what would life be like if there was suddenly no more Dean?
Maybe easier, she sighed. Was there a Dean now at all? Empty conversations and tense encounters. She could hardly even remember what it was they'd lost. But she didn't know how to change things for herself right now, only how to let them happen. Was that how she'd ended up with him in the first place? Perhaps. She couldn't remember any distinct decision, any effort she made. She realized now that she really didn't love him, that it was just easier to keep going until it faded away completely.
Lane had tried to encourage her to stick with Dean. Animosity toward Jess, perhaps. Or the hope that love and relationships - something so difficult for Lane to take part in - could remain beautiful, that romantic enthusiasm Lane had for the world outside Mrs. Kim's insanity.
She tossed her book on the floor with an annoyed exhalation, pouting at the air in front of her, eyes vacant. With a shake of her head, the frown melted away to discontent, and she leaned over to straighten out the thrown book before turning her light off and burrowing under the covers. Her eyes fixed themselves on the ceiling, waiting for sleep to sneak unnoticed upon her distressed mind.
*******
The night was beautiful in its dark clarity. Lorelai watched the sky from the center of town, her mind calmer and entranced, rippling out into the expanses of existence. With this calm, with this centering she focused on Luke. Imagined seeing him now, sharing this with him and feeling his embrace. She smiled, and listened to the soft tap of her footsteps as she floated home through the night.
Her body felt suddenly heavy and tired as she made those last steps into the house, into a brightly lit kitchen set against the darkness and silence of the rest of the house. Rory was in bed, she could tell, she could feel it in the heaviness of the world around her. Smiling slightly, Lorelai made her way to Rory's bedroom, peeking tentatively through the door.
"Long walk." Came the voice from the darkness, Rory lying on her back still staring at the ceiling.
"Yeah. Good walk. You're a smart one, kid."
"Any great epiphanies?"
"Other than deciding that Kirk and Taylor will fall madly in love and take over the town?"
Rory was sitting up now, smiling sleepily with her hair softly blanketing her.
She rolled her eyes, "About Luke."
"Maybe." Lorelai's grin was playful, her voice teasing.
"Well."
"I think I love him."
"You think?"
"I'm pretty sure."
"Wow."
"I know."
"Wow."
"You can stop saying that now."
"This is big."
"Yeah." Lorelai frowned, her mind emerging from the stillness of her walk, remembering the situation - the kiss, Luke - the euphoric cloud of her realization yielded to her fear of the reality. She frowned even more now, eyes seeking out the floor in consternation.
"That's great, Mom."
"How is that great?"
"You and Luke."
"No. Me ... In love with Luke, who doesn't love me."
"How do you know he doesnt love you?"
"It's not possible for me to be that lucky."
"Maybe," Rory began, "You haven't been lucky because you're meant to be with luke." Her voice filled the air, optimistic and comforting.
"So what do I do?"
"Difficult situation."
"Rooorrrryyy" Lorelai whined, but her face smiled vaguely through the darkness and she gave her daughter a playful shove.
"Sorry. Talk to him."
"What should I say? Do I apologize for my idiocy and have things be awkward for awhile, or tell him i love him and never see him again."
"Did he kiss you back?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm. I don't know, Mom."
"I need a new therapist."
"But we take far too long to grow. It'll be another 16 years before you'd have another as qualified as me so you better stick with the one you've got."
"You're saying only a homegrown therapist would suffice?"
"Trust me, Mom, it takes this many years of living with you to understand your mind at all. You're stuck with me."
"I should've traded you in early, huh?"
She hugged Lorelai, mumbling, "Cheer up, I'm sure everything will be fine."
"Easy for you to say. So how's the Dean issue?"
Rory groaned, rolling her face back to the bed to hide in the pillow.
"Oh, babe, you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm okay. We'll discuss it tomorrow. I just want to sleep right now."
"Alright hon. G'night." Lorelai kissed Rory's hair covered face, and softly left the room. She padded through the house, frowning slightly but protected still by the night, and went to bed.