Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 2)
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com
Authors Note: Hi again! I'm seventeen now! Yay!! Yankees lost . . boo :( (poor Derek looked SOOO sad . . . but now my four year old half sister believes every professional baseball player MUST be Derek, it's so cute). . . anyway, I just LOVE this new season! I can't WAIT until the 10/13 episode (ironic, CC's bday . .) when V&W meet! YAY!
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!
It was already early evening by the time Vaughn walked into his quiet house, the sound of his footsteps the only thing he heard. Fingering his mail, he smiled at a letter from his niece. Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffeetable, he continued to walk into the kitchen, not paying attention to where he was going. Just as he was starting to open the envelope, the sound of someone clearing their throat made his blood go cold.
Jack Bristow stood tall and proud in front of Michael's kitchen table. Swallowing hard, he recognized the look on the senior Bristow's face - dissaproval, dissapointment, and an unhidden undercurrent of anger. "Am I to assume that you are aware of Sydney's . . condition?" He asked, his tone so cold that the younger man flinched.
"Yes." He answered, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.
"What were you thinking Mr. Vaughn? You are Sydney's case handler: Your job is to keep her safe!" He snapped, his face twisting with anger. "Are you aware of the new set of complications?"
"Yes."
"Your actions were irresponsible and will only result in grave consequences for both of you! If you really cared for my daughter-"
"I do care for your daughter!" He snapped. Michael knew he didn't have nearly the experience that Jack did, and he knew that Sydney's pregnancy was a huge hurdle to jump. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, however, was the implication that he didn't care for Sydney. "I would do anything for your daughter. We made a mistake -"
"For which the consequences could be deadly!" Jack cut him off. "Sloane now plans on having even more security on Sydney. You were both completely unprofessional. Her condition is not only a danger to you two, but also your unborn child and your jobs! This will also serve as a huge hinderance is trying to take down SD-6. You two are very lucky that the results of this foolishness won't be permanent termination!" He hissed. "Was it your plan to give them more artillery to use against Sydney?"
"No." Mike confessed, sighing. "We weren't thinking - "
"It is your job to think! You were not given Sydney's case for emotional purposes. Your only reason for being in my daughters life is to strategically plan countermissions that will take down SD-6 and keep her safe!"
Looking up at Jack, he decided to plead with his sentimental side. After all, Jack did have Sydney. "Is it so wrong to want what's normal?" He asked, his tone soft.
"No." Jack admitted. "However the life you two live is not normal. I am very sorry that you two couldn't of met under different circumstances. This is the life you two lead, this is the way things are, they cannot be changed. There is nothing wrong to imagine wanting normal things, however it is foolish to believe you can actually achieve them while you both continue to participate in this life. There is no escape, until SD-6 is down this is how it has to be. Not even Sydney's pregnancy can change the fact that she is a double agent and SD-6's security section will continue to follow her. For awhile she'll still be expected to perform countermissions." "Are they going to hurt the baby?"
"I will do everything in my power to assure that nothing is done to detriment the health of Sydney or the baby. That's my daughter and grandchild, Mr. Vaughn," he reminded him. "I do have great respect for you, don't think that I don't. I am dissapointed. Greatly. In you and in my daughter. Your actions were foolish. To feel something, while strongly discouraged isn't something that you can always control. Deciding to act upon your feelings was where you both went wrong. Now there will be consequences, and extra precautions will need to be taken. The CIA's already looking into ways to keep Sydney safe."
"The CIA knows?" He asked, his eyes wide. "The secretary said Devlin wouldn't be back until-"
"I contacted Ben's vacation home. Needless to say he's not pleased."
"Does he know-"
"No, I'm not foolish enough to tell him your the Father." Jack cut him off, nearly disgusted with the question he was about to ask. "Devlin is not pleased, and while he strongly suspects it's your child, there will be no action taken against you. Taking you away from Sydney will only be harmful to her as well as work against the CIA's plan to take down SD-6."
"So what do I do?" Michael asked.
"Wait. Continue to plan countermissions that help the CIA and keep Sydney safe."
"My job."
"Yes, Mr. Vaughn, your job. I do, however, strongly suggest that you be cautious. I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself being tailed for awhile, especially while going to meet Sydney." He advised. The younger man nodded. "I'll be watching you, we all will. One wrong move Mr. Vaughn, particularly one that harms my daughter, and you will be saying goodbye to your career at the CIA."
"Yes sir." He nodded. The senior Bristow nodded curtly as Michael watched, his eyes on the figure as he walked out of the backdoor and dissapeared into the night.
On the other side of town, Sydney was pulling into the familiar cemetary. The car was full of the scent of wildflowers as the bouquet rested safely on the drivers seat. With the sun still in the sky she decided to make one more stop before returning to the house. Will and Francie had keys if they needed to let themselves in, and Sydney didn't doubt that her friends would gladly make themselves at home and start without her.
She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She stopped at the passenger's door to pick up the flowers and then walked the short distance to Danny's headstone. Swallowing heavily, she carefully rested the flowers up against the headstone. Cautiously she glanced back over her shoulder, knowing that she couldn't say all that she wanted to say. Not even a cemetary was sacred to Sloane and those who worked for him. Brushing a piece of hair behind her ear, she squated down. She pulled a few weeds out from around the headstone, knowing she was killing time. She forced herself to look up at the headstone and do what she came to do.
"Francie and Charlie just celebrated their anniversary," she started. "They're really happy. Francie says . . she just wants one child," she explained, anger boiling inside her when she felt her eyes start to tear. "She said something about Will and Amy's bickering . . . . . They're talking about giving Will his own column. A weekly article to do with public interest . . . Charlie's law firm just hired a new lawyer. Female lawyer. He wants to set her up with Will." She told him.
Her eyes glanced up at the sky, searching briefly for nonexistent clouds. After a quick glance down at the ground, she looked back at the headstone. "I know you'd want me to be happy . . . I am happy . . . As happy as I can possibly be in this life." She explained. Somewhere, wherever Danny was, she hoped he would want and rejoice in her news. "I'm having a baby. In April." She told him. "I kept telling you we couldn't have children . . . . You wanted them so badly." She remembered as she wiped away her tears. "I basically told you no, which was a horrible thing for me to do. Please understand Danny, I shouldn't even be having this baby . . . I didn't plan this. I want it though," she confessed. "I shouldn't want it, but I do. It should be your baby . . We should be married. You should have your own practice and this should be your baby . . . " She realized and shrugged. "But it's not. I'm so sorry Danny. I'm so sorry I never gave you what you deserved . . I'm so sorry you never got what you wanted. A wife and a family . . I would never have been able to give you that. I wish I could," she admitted.
"Even if you lived . . . I'm not sure what would have happened to us," she whispered, feeling guilty at the truth behind her words. "I love you . . I always will. I don't know how our marriage would have gone . . ."
In her mind, she would never have told Danny and he would of lived. The truth about SD-6 would of come out in time. Sydney couldn't have lived her life lying to her husband. She would of needed something and someone to be real and true. That could never have been him, not if she wanted to keep him safe. The realization that her life would have led her to the CIA - to Vaughn - panged her. Had Danny lived, he would of been her husband. It was inevitable, however, that Vaughn would have been her truth.
"You deserved so much more then me . . I'm so sorry I never let you get it," she apologized. She reached into her pocket for a tissue to wipe away her tears. "I wanted you to know though. Before I told Francie or Will . . . that I'm pregnant. Please don't be mad at me," she pleaded. The waves in her stomach forced her to stand up. The heat and her exhaustive day had been too much for her and she knew she needed to go home. "I love you," she whispered before she returned to her car.
The sun was nearly set in the sky when Sydney pulled into her driveway that night. As she got out she wasn't surprised to see both Charlie and Will's cars already there. She grabbed her tote and walked into the house, calling out hello as she did so. "There you are!" Francie called from the living room.
She stepped inside and smiled at the sight. Will, Francie and Charlie were already gathered in the living room playing Monopoly and a large white pot boiled on the stove. "I was wondering where you were," Francie spoke.
Sydney looked at her and smiled. "I just had a long day. A lot of meetings." She shrugged.
"I say you quit." Will told her.
"I can't quit. I won't quit." She replied. "What's for dinner?"
"It's pasta. Don't worry, I'm making it," Charlie reassured her.
"I can cook just as well as you can," Francie insisted. Sydney laughed softly.
"Let me go get changed. I'll be right back." She promised.
Her bedroom was a dim, cool sanctuary from the tiresome day she had experienced. She had only been aware of her pregnancy for the past two days and she was already exhausted. As she sat on her bed, she wondered how exhausted she'd be after carrying a baby for eight months. The child, along with the rest of her secrets, might be a bit too much to carry. Looking at her reflection, she wondered if they might get lucky and take down SD-6 within the next eight months. All of her logic doubted it - it was at least another year of work, if not more.
As she undressed her eyes floated down to her stomach. It gave no outward indication of her condition. Reaching for her dresser, she dressed and imagined what she might look like by spring. Once she started to show it would be impossible for her to go on missions. She was still surprised at how easily Sloane took the news. His acceptance still rested uneasily with her, and she knew she was going to need to be a thousand times more cautious in the weeks ahead.
A short time later the four friends sat around the living room eating pasta. Will was explaining the basis for his next article and the upcoming trip he was going to be taking to San Francisco. The article involved a lesbian couple adopting four of their foster children and their adoption of a drug-addicted newborn. Sydney carefully put down her glass of water and decided that the mention of children and adoption was the best chance she'd get to start the conversation.
"What is it?" Will asked, reading her expression before she even spoke.
"What's what?" She asked him.
"What are you about to tell us?"
"What? It's nothing . . " she trailed off. "I mean, it is something but it's really not that important . ."
"Your lying!" Francie insisted. She laughed softly at Sydney's uneasiness. "It's definitely something! Is it a guy?"
"Not . . not really . . ." she said awkwardly, tracing the rim of her glass. "You have to promise not to make a big deal of this." she insisted.
"It's definitely a guy," Francie smirked.
"It's not a guy," she replied. "It's a baby. I'm . . I'm having a baby." She smiled.
"Oh my God!" Her best friend shrieked as both she and Charlie leaned over to hug her. Will was briefly pale, but to his credit he forced a smile and joined in on the hugs. "Congratulations! This is so awesome!" Francie declared.
"Really?" Sydney smiled, delighted at how well Francie took the news.
"Sure! This is wonderful news! I am so happy for you!" She grinned. "When is the baby due?"
"April. Late April. Maybe not even until May," she shrugged.
"Who's the Father?" Will demanded.
"Will!" Francie scolded as Sydney glanced at him and then back at her plate.
"What? I think it's a reasonable question! She hasn't brought home a guy . . in a long time!" Will pointed out, carefully skirting around the mention of Danny. "Unless you want us to believe that you got pregnant on purpose through a donor or something!"
Sydney smirked. "No, of course not. Can you imagine how the bank would of reacted to that?" She pointed out, feeling a slight urge to poke at the job she was starting to loathe.
"How did the bank take it?" Francie asked gently.
"Okay. A lot better then I thought," she admitted. "They're going to send me on a few more business trips . . but it'll slow down towards the end." She reassured them, hoping it was the truth.
"So who's the Father? When do we get to meet him?" Will persisted.
"Will! Can't you just be happy for her?" Francie questioned.
"I am! I am happy for her. I just want to know who the guy is."
"He's a guy . . a really nice guy," she smiled. She briefly looked for a way to tell them the truth without telling them too much. "He's from work."
"He works at the bank?" Charlie asked.
"No . . no, not at the bank," she shook her head. "He's from another bank . . another company. I work with him on some cases . . . "
"So it's not the gift guy?" Will asked. In his mind he freshly remembered the antique picture frame and an aged obviously antique teddy bear that she had received from a a friend at work during the last two Christmases. To Will both gifts looked a bit too expensive and thoughtful for a casual Secret Santa, although the teddy bear slightly mystified him.
Sydney looked at him and briefly debated whether or not to lie. This was one time she could be honest with her friends, and she couldn't turn her back to such a rare opportunity. "Yes, it's the gift guy," she agreed. "He's a really nice guy. It's just . . with work . . it's really complicated."
"Is he cute?" Francie asked as Charlie rolled his eyes.
"Yes, he's cute." She laughed.
"When do we get to meet him?" Will asked expectantly.
"You don't," she said to her friends obvious disappointment. "It's really so complicated . . the banks rules are so complicated . . . if we get caught we could get terminated."
"That sucks. Forbidden rendezvous are always so romantic and exciting though." Francie grinned. Not as much as you'd think, Sydney thought.
"How would you know?" Charlie teased.
"I've read books!" Francie insisted as they all laughed. "I think it's wonderful that you're going to be a Mom."
"Brave too," Will added with his mouth full of food.
"Brave?" Sydney asked.
"Yeah, sure. You're going to be a single Mom. Plus you've got that damn bank job. They hardly leave you enough time to pee and sleep. I just think it's brave of you to be having a baby." He shrugged.
"You won't be all alone. We'll help." Francie gently pat her knee. "I'm sure your Dad will help too." She added. Sydney smiled at the sentiment but doubted her Father's cooperation.
"I think you should name it William." Will teased as she shook her head.
"I'm not naming it William, Charles or Francine. That would be too confusing!" She laughed as Francie joined her.
"I think it's wonderful! This is going to be so exciting! Just don't expect me to be in the delivery room." Francie explained.
"She gets squirmish." Charlie explained.
"Yeah, I can't even watch A Baby Story on TLC without squirming. Sorry Syd, I'll be there just not in the room."
"It's fine," she smiled. "It's going to be fine. I've got plenty of time. I'm just glad you guys are okay with this."
"This is great, it's going to be great." Francie insisted, hugging her again as she smiled.
Sydney knew it wasn't going to be that easy, but her friends love and support made the burden slightly less heavy on her shoulders.
The mission a few days later was an easy success. Dixon created a diversion while she slipped way. Sloane's assessment had been right and there were no guards or security cameras. The biggest problem she had encountered was that the desk drawer containing the Bible was jammed. She was able to open it with the help of a nearby letter opener. She had switched the original with the CIA's duplicate within seconds and no one was any the wiser.
The best part of the mission, however, was that she was able to sleep in her own bed that night. She knew the next day involved having to meet with Sloane again, and she wasn't entirely comfortable with his initial reaction. The only thing she had to look forward to was the possibility of a meeting with Vaughn. At least she was going to be allowed to sleep in - her meeting at work wasn't until the early afternoon and she knew Vaughn wouldn't contact her before then. In her condition she needed the sleep more then ever.
Francie was sitting in the living room when she woke up the next morning. "What are you doing here?" Sydney smiled at her friend as she padded into the kitchen.
"Angie is opening the restaurant this afternoon," she explained. Angie was the manager of Francie's nearly year old restaurant, FC Cafe, which she concieved of during the time she was planning the wedding. Will joked that the restaurant was the only baby Charlie would let Francie have so early on in their marriage, and for the time being it was the only baby she was interested in having.
"Did Will leave?" She asked as she made herself a few pieces of toast and sat down with Francie.
"Yeah, yesterday afternoon. He said he'd be back by Monday," she explained. It was a Saturday. "I got you a present," she grinned. Sydney's brow scrunched as she watched her friend reach behind a nearby pillow and pull out a wrapped object.
"You didn't have to -"
"I wanted to. I didn't do it on purpose. I just saw it . . . I just wanted you to know that I'm behind you a hundred percent. I am so happy for you Syd, I know Danny would be too." She insisted. Sydney smiled, hoping it was true.
"Thanks Francie, that was so sweet of you," she remarked as she slowly unwrapped the present.
Within seconds she felt her eyes well. In her hands she held a copy of Two of Us Make a World: A Single Mother's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth & The First Year. She looked up at Francie and smiled. Although the title broke her heart, it was the cold reality of her life, and Francie's intentions had been well placed. "Thank you so much," she said and leaned over to hug her friend.
"You're welcome! I was at the mall and I saw it! I figure everyone else will be getting you What to Expect When Your Expecting. I saw some of the cutest outfits too, but Charlie said it's too soon to buy clothes."
"It probably is," she laughed. "They're all so cute though." She agreed.
"They are! I can't wait until we go buy that stuff! It's a good thing I'm out of here though, you'll get to make my room into a nursery."
"Yeah . . " she realized. The thought of actually holding the baby, of bringing it home to raise, hadn't hit her yet. She was too preoccupied with the notion of safely coming to term.
"I have some really great ideas for themes too! Will told me you probably have your own ideas, but I thought maybe if you needed some help -"
"I want your help. I'm going to need your help." She insisted with a smile. "The bank will probably want me working until the day before I have the baby," she said.
"As long as they cut back on those trips. I read that you can't fly in your third trimester anyway."
"You're really into this." Sydney smiled.
"Yeah . . I am. I only want one child, I know that. Now that you're having a baby . . it makes me want one sooner." She admitted as they both smiled.
"You are going to be a great Mom."
"So are you Syd." She smiled, pushing back a thick piece of Sydney's hair. "So, do I at least get to see a picture of this guy?"
Sydney laughed. "Hopefully one day you can meet him. It's just very complicated . . . You'd really like him."
"Is he cute?"
"He's adorable!" She laughed. "He's very handsome."
"Do you love him?" Francie asked.
She looked down at her plate of toast. Sydney had never said the words to Vaughn, she had never felt the need to. In return he had never said the words either. The truth was she did love him, so much that it went without saying. Sometimes she wondered if it was so powerful that it was obvious to those around them.
"You do love him," Francie remarked as she shrugged. "Does he know?"
"It's so complicated . . "
"Love's always complicated. This bank job isn't forever." Francie pointed out. I hope it's not forever, Sydney added to herself. "I don't want to make this any more difficult for you Syd. I'm so happy that you're making me an Aunt," she said as they both smiled. "I just hope one day I get to be your Maid of Honor. You deserve that. Danny would want it for you."
Sydney looked up, unable to hide the tears in her eyes. Francie sighed sympathetically and hugged her. "You are going to be fine. You're going to find a great guy . . maybe you already have. Plus, if you love him and he loves you, you'll work it out. No job is more important then being with the person you love."
Sydney sniffled and hugged her friend tighter.
One job's more important then being with the person you love, she thought miserably - mine.
Brigitte Vaughn led her son through the busy mall on the other side of town. Michael sighed heavily as they walked into yet another store. This time his Mother led him into Babies R Us - the largest one in Southern California. He wondered if this was his Mother's way of getting something out of him. "Charlotte and Patrick are having another baby." She said, her words finally earning her son's attention.
"What?" Michael asked, looking at her in surprise.
"Your sister and brother in law - "
"I know who they are Mom." He said as his Mother shook his head.
"I rarely get to go out with you Michael. If you had something else to do today you should of just said so. We could of had dinner this week instead." Brigitte reasoned.
"I'm fine Mom. I've just had a very busy week at work."
"That job . . it took your Father away from me. I refuse to let it take you away." She spoke strongly.
"I'm fine Mom. So Charlotte's pregnant?"
"Yes, the baby is due in May." She explained. "Don't you ever talk to your sister?"
"Apparently not as often as I should," he realized.
"That's okay, I'm sure she meant to call you soon." She smiled, holding up a tiny onesie covered in baseball items - balls, bats and caps. "What do you think of this?"
"Isn't it too soon to buy baby clothes?"
"I'm a Grandmother, it's never too soon to buy tiny little clothes." She grinned. He forced himself to look away as his Mother searched the various racks of tiny baby assembles.
"Isn't Maya a little young?" He asked. His niece had just turned two and he still imagined her as a baby.
"Hardly, she'll be two and a half, nearly three when this baby is born." His Mother explained. Brigitte turned towards him and smiled. "Michel, when your in love and love your family, it's never too soon or too much." She told him in french. He sighed and nodded. "So what has you so disturbed?" she asked, returning to English.
"Just . . a case . . a friend . ."
Brigitte led him further back into the store and briefly glanced at him over her shoulder. "I know I'm not a top-ranking official, but I am your Mother. You are allowed to occasionally tell me things about your job. Even about your life." She raised her eyebrows as he laughed.
"I do tell you," he insisted.
"You tell me what you think I want to hear. You tell me enough to keep me satisified. You don't tell me everything. Your Father was the same way . ."
"I just want to keep you safe." He insisted.
"I just want my son to tell me the truth," she said as she gave him a sharp glance.
"I want to tell you," he softly told her.
"Then tell me. I'm all ears." She pointed out. He sighed as she shook her head. "My guess would be that it involves a girl."
"It does . ."
"Please tell me it's not Alice." She pleaded as he laughed. His on again/off again relationship with Alice had never been something his Mother approved of. Something about Alice had always bothered Brigitte, although she had yet to pinpoint it's source.
"It's not Alice Mom. You've never met her."
"So, what's she like?"
"She's from work," he explained.
"So she's dangerous."
"No, she's not dangerous." He insisted. He knew Sydney could be dangerous, but not in the way his Mother meant.
"I think your in love." His Mother grinned and lead him out of the store.
"Mom, it's my job." Michael pointed out as she walked into a bookstore.
"I'm going to go look at books on Menapause." She looked at him as his face scrunched in disgust. "Since it's safe to assume you don't wish to look at such books, so can you keep yourself amused for five minutes?" She asked as he laughed.
"Yes Mom." He agreed. Brigitte made her way to the Woman's Health section of the store as he floated through.
Michael ended up in the Pregnancy/Childbirth section. His eyes scanned the titles, amazed at the scope of things one could write about on one topic. His heart stopped when his eyes landed on The Expectant Father. While he knew he shouldn't, he picked it up and flipped through the pages. There was so much to learn, and apparently so much he could and should do for his upcoming arrival. He closed the book and regretfully put it back on the shelf. For him his older sister's pregnancy couldn't of been more ill-timed. He'd have to watch his family celebrate his sister's arrival while hiding his own joy. The last thing he did was begrudge his sister and brother in laws good fortune, he just wished that some would turn his way.
He eyed the book one more time, wanting to buy it. In his perfect world he and Sydney were married, and SD-6 didn't exist. It was ironic, since without the existence of his enemy he never would have met her. His imagination bore no consideration of that though. Instead they were married with a tiny little beach front house. Francie, Will, Charlie and Eric came over often. Charlotte and Syndey were fabulous friends. Sydney taught high school Literature. They walked the beach with Donovan at night and they had been eagerly planning their upcoming arrival.
His Mother's voice reluctantly drew him back to reality. A world where he and Sydney couldn't acknowledge knowing one another. She had been set to marry Danny - and would have. He lived in a condo with Donovan while Eric dropped by. Sydney had her house, where her friends were often over for dinner and board games. The only time he was even able to look at her was in a dark warehouse. His sister didn't even know Sydney existed. Nothing was how it was supposed to be. That was reality though, and he had to make the best of what he had.
"Michael? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine Mom." He smiled at her.
"I think your sister had all of the books she needs . . " Brigitte commented, looking at the shelves of pregnancy books in front of them. "Make sure you call her after dinner tonight to congratulate them."
"I will," he promised.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine Mom." He insisted. Brigitte nodded although she still didn't believe him. Michael was much like his Father, and neither Father or Son had been particularly good liars.
"Just tell me. Is this girl French?" She questioned as her son laughed.
"I don't know . . she might be." He shrugged. She's Russian, he thought to himself, KGB actually. "Do you believe in fate?" He asked as they walked back into the main part of the mall.
"Yes . . I suppose so. I believe that your Father and I were supposed to be together. When I look at your sister and Patrick I have to believe the same thing. You and Alice . . I'm sorry sweetheart, but that just didn't seem right." She smiled apologetically.
"It's fine Mom. It's been awhile since we broke up." He reminded her.
"What about you Michel? Do you believe in fate?"
"I don't know. I'm not so sure that everything is predetermined." He spoke, his mind drifting back to Milo Rimbaldi's prophecy. "Don't we have choices?"
"Of course we do. We have choices that, if we're lucky, lead us to the right person." His Mother explained.
"What if we make the wrong decisions?" He asked. Brigitte grew briefly pensive and shrugged.
"Then we make a brief wrong turn. Hopefully it'll still lead us to another decision which then leads you to the right person." She explained. "Why so many questions?"
"Just curious." He insisted.
"It's definitely a young woman." Brigitte decided as they both laughed. "Let's go, I'll let you buy me lunch."
Sydney strode proudly on her heels into the cage of the warehouse. Her jaw was set and Vaughn's stomach dropped at her expression. He watched as she walked over tower over him as he sat on a crate. She remained silent as she reached into her tote and pulled out a book, nearly throwing it onto his lap.
He felt his stomach drop when he read the title. "'Two of Us Make A World: A Single Motehr's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth and the First Year' . . ." he read outloud, fingering through the pages. "Looks interesting." He mused, looking up to find Sydney obviously not pleased.
"I can't do this." She declared, resting her hands on her hips.
"Syd, I know you, you can do this." He insisted, not doubting it for a moment. Deep in his heart he was so confident of her ability to embark on the journey ahead of her that he silently wondered if she'd even want his help when the opportunity arose.
"I don't want to do this." She restated, pacing the tiny area. "I don't want to be a single Mother! I don't want to have to explain everything to Will and Francie! I hate having to look them in the eye - "
"I know Syd - "
"No Vaughn, you don't know!" She snapped. "You have absolutely no idea what this is like for me!" She insisted loudly, stepping closer to him. "I'm not sleeping at night. I'm terrified to think of what SD-6 is trying to do to me and this baby! When I'm not preoccupied with this baby's safety, I'm in the bathroom sick!" She said.
"Don't you think I want to be there?" He snapped, slapping the book down on the crate and standing. "I know your doing this by yourself. I think about that all of the time!" He stopped, taking a second to calm down before things got out of control. They needed to work through this together, and arguing wouldn't accomplish that. "I had lunch with my Mother yesterday." He told her.
"Really? How'd that go?" She asked calmly, surprising him at her sudden mood change. Damn hormones, his mind reminded him.
"My sister's pregnant again. She and my brother in law are having another baby in May." He explained as she looked down at her feet. "I had to look my Mother in the eye and not say a single thing about you. Don't you think I'd like to be there for you? Damn, I hate not being able to do a damn thing for you. I can't say anything to anyone about any of this! If I could switch places with you, I would in a heartbeat."
"Well at least my Father's reacting well." She mumbled under her breathe, sitting down again. Vaughn looked back at her sharply. "What? He's not?"
"Devlin knows. He was on vacation. Your Father called him. We're putting plans into action to keep you and the baby safe." He explained, sitting down as she nodded. "Your Father visited my apartment a few days ago . ." He added. He looked up at her, not surprised to see her anxious eyes. "He's greatly disapointed. He accused me of being careless . . reckless . . . a poor case handler . . all of which are true." He added and ran a hand through his hair.
"Hey," she said softly, reaching out to grab his hand. He looked up in surprise, reassured to find her smiling gently. "It was a mistake. It's not like we sat down and plotted this." She said as he laughed and nodded. Her smaller hand squeezed his before letting go. "Congratulations to your sister. You have a niece already, right?"
"Yeah, Maya. She's two." He smiled, touched that she remembered. "My Mother's out shopping already. . . " He trailed off awkwardly.
"I'm sorry Vaughn." She whispered. "I'm so sorry I got you into this mess . ."
"Hey, I was already in this life when I met you." He reminded her.
"I brought you in even deeper . . . . if your Mother ever knew what I've forced you into, she'd hate me."
"My Mother wouldn't hate you." He insisted with a smile. "You never forced me into anything Syd. Anything I've done with you has been of my own choice."
"Will says the baby should be William." She said as he laughed. "I've been thinking about names . . which I know it's totally insane," she admitted with a silly grin. "It's just something fun to think about . . . So far I've got a list of names we can't use that's bigger then the list of names I like."
Vaughn smiled, glad she was able to enjoy a brief, simple pleasure that all mothers-to-be enjoyed. "What names can't we use?" He asked, looking at her. She'd have to leave in a few moments, or else their meeting would become suspiciously long, but he enjoyed the brief opportunity to just look at her and talk to her.
"Arvin, of course." She grinned as he laughed. "Laura, Alexander, Irina, Steven . . There's quite a few." She admitted with a grin. "What's your Mom's name?"
"Brigitte." He explained as she smiled.
"That's very pretty."
"Very french." Sydney grinned.
"Hey, are you french?" He asked. Sitting across from him, she nearly laughed at the question.
"I don't know . . " She admitted. "Why?"
"Just wondering." He shrugged.
"What's your sisters name?"
"Charlotte. She's married to Patrick."
Sydney smiled. Even their names made them sound like such nice, decent people. They were his relatives, and she couldn't imagine any relative of his being anything else. Her family, however, she thought in slight disgust. At least her Father was a respectable human being, despite his usual emotional distance. Her Father loved her, and unlike her Mother, Jack Bristow always had her best interest at heart.
"I should be going." She realized. Sydney stood and grabbed her tote.
"Here, don't forget this." He awkwardly handed her the book.
"Thanks." She smiled and slipped it back into her bag. "Francie bought it for me." She added, realizing she had never told him.
"Your friends want to help you." He said as she nodded.
"Yeah, I know." She said. "You'll contact me when they figure out what the code in the Bible means?"
"Of course. Make sure you get some rest." He advised. Sydney smiled.
"I'm going to try."
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com
Authors Note: Hi again! I'm seventeen now! Yay!! Yankees lost . . boo :( (poor Derek looked SOOO sad . . . but now my four year old half sister believes every professional baseball player MUST be Derek, it's so cute). . . anyway, I just LOVE this new season! I can't WAIT until the 10/13 episode (ironic, CC's bday . .) when V&W meet! YAY!
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!
It was already early evening by the time Vaughn walked into his quiet house, the sound of his footsteps the only thing he heard. Fingering his mail, he smiled at a letter from his niece. Dropping the rest of the mail on the coffeetable, he continued to walk into the kitchen, not paying attention to where he was going. Just as he was starting to open the envelope, the sound of someone clearing their throat made his blood go cold.
Jack Bristow stood tall and proud in front of Michael's kitchen table. Swallowing hard, he recognized the look on the senior Bristow's face - dissaproval, dissapointment, and an unhidden undercurrent of anger. "Am I to assume that you are aware of Sydney's . . condition?" He asked, his tone so cold that the younger man flinched.
"Yes." He answered, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.
"What were you thinking Mr. Vaughn? You are Sydney's case handler: Your job is to keep her safe!" He snapped, his face twisting with anger. "Are you aware of the new set of complications?"
"Yes."
"Your actions were irresponsible and will only result in grave consequences for both of you! If you really cared for my daughter-"
"I do care for your daughter!" He snapped. Michael knew he didn't have nearly the experience that Jack did, and he knew that Sydney's pregnancy was a huge hurdle to jump. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, however, was the implication that he didn't care for Sydney. "I would do anything for your daughter. We made a mistake -"
"For which the consequences could be deadly!" Jack cut him off. "Sloane now plans on having even more security on Sydney. You were both completely unprofessional. Her condition is not only a danger to you two, but also your unborn child and your jobs! This will also serve as a huge hinderance is trying to take down SD-6. You two are very lucky that the results of this foolishness won't be permanent termination!" He hissed. "Was it your plan to give them more artillery to use against Sydney?"
"No." Mike confessed, sighing. "We weren't thinking - "
"It is your job to think! You were not given Sydney's case for emotional purposes. Your only reason for being in my daughters life is to strategically plan countermissions that will take down SD-6 and keep her safe!"
Looking up at Jack, he decided to plead with his sentimental side. After all, Jack did have Sydney. "Is it so wrong to want what's normal?" He asked, his tone soft.
"No." Jack admitted. "However the life you two live is not normal. I am very sorry that you two couldn't of met under different circumstances. This is the life you two lead, this is the way things are, they cannot be changed. There is nothing wrong to imagine wanting normal things, however it is foolish to believe you can actually achieve them while you both continue to participate in this life. There is no escape, until SD-6 is down this is how it has to be. Not even Sydney's pregnancy can change the fact that she is a double agent and SD-6's security section will continue to follow her. For awhile she'll still be expected to perform countermissions." "Are they going to hurt the baby?"
"I will do everything in my power to assure that nothing is done to detriment the health of Sydney or the baby. That's my daughter and grandchild, Mr. Vaughn," he reminded him. "I do have great respect for you, don't think that I don't. I am dissapointed. Greatly. In you and in my daughter. Your actions were foolish. To feel something, while strongly discouraged isn't something that you can always control. Deciding to act upon your feelings was where you both went wrong. Now there will be consequences, and extra precautions will need to be taken. The CIA's already looking into ways to keep Sydney safe."
"The CIA knows?" He asked, his eyes wide. "The secretary said Devlin wouldn't be back until-"
"I contacted Ben's vacation home. Needless to say he's not pleased."
"Does he know-"
"No, I'm not foolish enough to tell him your the Father." Jack cut him off, nearly disgusted with the question he was about to ask. "Devlin is not pleased, and while he strongly suspects it's your child, there will be no action taken against you. Taking you away from Sydney will only be harmful to her as well as work against the CIA's plan to take down SD-6."
"So what do I do?" Michael asked.
"Wait. Continue to plan countermissions that help the CIA and keep Sydney safe."
"My job."
"Yes, Mr. Vaughn, your job. I do, however, strongly suggest that you be cautious. I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself being tailed for awhile, especially while going to meet Sydney." He advised. The younger man nodded. "I'll be watching you, we all will. One wrong move Mr. Vaughn, particularly one that harms my daughter, and you will be saying goodbye to your career at the CIA."
"Yes sir." He nodded. The senior Bristow nodded curtly as Michael watched, his eyes on the figure as he walked out of the backdoor and dissapeared into the night.
On the other side of town, Sydney was pulling into the familiar cemetary. The car was full of the scent of wildflowers as the bouquet rested safely on the drivers seat. With the sun still in the sky she decided to make one more stop before returning to the house. Will and Francie had keys if they needed to let themselves in, and Sydney didn't doubt that her friends would gladly make themselves at home and start without her.
She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She stopped at the passenger's door to pick up the flowers and then walked the short distance to Danny's headstone. Swallowing heavily, she carefully rested the flowers up against the headstone. Cautiously she glanced back over her shoulder, knowing that she couldn't say all that she wanted to say. Not even a cemetary was sacred to Sloane and those who worked for him. Brushing a piece of hair behind her ear, she squated down. She pulled a few weeds out from around the headstone, knowing she was killing time. She forced herself to look up at the headstone and do what she came to do.
"Francie and Charlie just celebrated their anniversary," she started. "They're really happy. Francie says . . she just wants one child," she explained, anger boiling inside her when she felt her eyes start to tear. "She said something about Will and Amy's bickering . . . . . They're talking about giving Will his own column. A weekly article to do with public interest . . . Charlie's law firm just hired a new lawyer. Female lawyer. He wants to set her up with Will." She told him.
Her eyes glanced up at the sky, searching briefly for nonexistent clouds. After a quick glance down at the ground, she looked back at the headstone. "I know you'd want me to be happy . . . I am happy . . . As happy as I can possibly be in this life." She explained. Somewhere, wherever Danny was, she hoped he would want and rejoice in her news. "I'm having a baby. In April." She told him. "I kept telling you we couldn't have children . . . . You wanted them so badly." She remembered as she wiped away her tears. "I basically told you no, which was a horrible thing for me to do. Please understand Danny, I shouldn't even be having this baby . . . I didn't plan this. I want it though," she confessed. "I shouldn't want it, but I do. It should be your baby . . We should be married. You should have your own practice and this should be your baby . . . " She realized and shrugged. "But it's not. I'm so sorry Danny. I'm so sorry I never gave you what you deserved . . I'm so sorry you never got what you wanted. A wife and a family . . I would never have been able to give you that. I wish I could," she admitted.
"Even if you lived . . . I'm not sure what would have happened to us," she whispered, feeling guilty at the truth behind her words. "I love you . . I always will. I don't know how our marriage would have gone . . ."
In her mind, she would never have told Danny and he would of lived. The truth about SD-6 would of come out in time. Sydney couldn't have lived her life lying to her husband. She would of needed something and someone to be real and true. That could never have been him, not if she wanted to keep him safe. The realization that her life would have led her to the CIA - to Vaughn - panged her. Had Danny lived, he would of been her husband. It was inevitable, however, that Vaughn would have been her truth.
"You deserved so much more then me . . I'm so sorry I never let you get it," she apologized. She reached into her pocket for a tissue to wipe away her tears. "I wanted you to know though. Before I told Francie or Will . . . that I'm pregnant. Please don't be mad at me," she pleaded. The waves in her stomach forced her to stand up. The heat and her exhaustive day had been too much for her and she knew she needed to go home. "I love you," she whispered before she returned to her car.
The sun was nearly set in the sky when Sydney pulled into her driveway that night. As she got out she wasn't surprised to see both Charlie and Will's cars already there. She grabbed her tote and walked into the house, calling out hello as she did so. "There you are!" Francie called from the living room.
She stepped inside and smiled at the sight. Will, Francie and Charlie were already gathered in the living room playing Monopoly and a large white pot boiled on the stove. "I was wondering where you were," Francie spoke.
Sydney looked at her and smiled. "I just had a long day. A lot of meetings." She shrugged.
"I say you quit." Will told her.
"I can't quit. I won't quit." She replied. "What's for dinner?"
"It's pasta. Don't worry, I'm making it," Charlie reassured her.
"I can cook just as well as you can," Francie insisted. Sydney laughed softly.
"Let me go get changed. I'll be right back." She promised.
Her bedroom was a dim, cool sanctuary from the tiresome day she had experienced. She had only been aware of her pregnancy for the past two days and she was already exhausted. As she sat on her bed, she wondered how exhausted she'd be after carrying a baby for eight months. The child, along with the rest of her secrets, might be a bit too much to carry. Looking at her reflection, she wondered if they might get lucky and take down SD-6 within the next eight months. All of her logic doubted it - it was at least another year of work, if not more.
As she undressed her eyes floated down to her stomach. It gave no outward indication of her condition. Reaching for her dresser, she dressed and imagined what she might look like by spring. Once she started to show it would be impossible for her to go on missions. She was still surprised at how easily Sloane took the news. His acceptance still rested uneasily with her, and she knew she was going to need to be a thousand times more cautious in the weeks ahead.
A short time later the four friends sat around the living room eating pasta. Will was explaining the basis for his next article and the upcoming trip he was going to be taking to San Francisco. The article involved a lesbian couple adopting four of their foster children and their adoption of a drug-addicted newborn. Sydney carefully put down her glass of water and decided that the mention of children and adoption was the best chance she'd get to start the conversation.
"What is it?" Will asked, reading her expression before she even spoke.
"What's what?" She asked him.
"What are you about to tell us?"
"What? It's nothing . . " she trailed off. "I mean, it is something but it's really not that important . ."
"Your lying!" Francie insisted. She laughed softly at Sydney's uneasiness. "It's definitely something! Is it a guy?"
"Not . . not really . . ." she said awkwardly, tracing the rim of her glass. "You have to promise not to make a big deal of this." she insisted.
"It's definitely a guy," Francie smirked.
"It's not a guy," she replied. "It's a baby. I'm . . I'm having a baby." She smiled.
"Oh my God!" Her best friend shrieked as both she and Charlie leaned over to hug her. Will was briefly pale, but to his credit he forced a smile and joined in on the hugs. "Congratulations! This is so awesome!" Francie declared.
"Really?" Sydney smiled, delighted at how well Francie took the news.
"Sure! This is wonderful news! I am so happy for you!" She grinned. "When is the baby due?"
"April. Late April. Maybe not even until May," she shrugged.
"Who's the Father?" Will demanded.
"Will!" Francie scolded as Sydney glanced at him and then back at her plate.
"What? I think it's a reasonable question! She hasn't brought home a guy . . in a long time!" Will pointed out, carefully skirting around the mention of Danny. "Unless you want us to believe that you got pregnant on purpose through a donor or something!"
Sydney smirked. "No, of course not. Can you imagine how the bank would of reacted to that?" She pointed out, feeling a slight urge to poke at the job she was starting to loathe.
"How did the bank take it?" Francie asked gently.
"Okay. A lot better then I thought," she admitted. "They're going to send me on a few more business trips . . but it'll slow down towards the end." She reassured them, hoping it was the truth.
"So who's the Father? When do we get to meet him?" Will persisted.
"Will! Can't you just be happy for her?" Francie questioned.
"I am! I am happy for her. I just want to know who the guy is."
"He's a guy . . a really nice guy," she smiled. She briefly looked for a way to tell them the truth without telling them too much. "He's from work."
"He works at the bank?" Charlie asked.
"No . . no, not at the bank," she shook her head. "He's from another bank . . another company. I work with him on some cases . . . "
"So it's not the gift guy?" Will asked. In his mind he freshly remembered the antique picture frame and an aged obviously antique teddy bear that she had received from a a friend at work during the last two Christmases. To Will both gifts looked a bit too expensive and thoughtful for a casual Secret Santa, although the teddy bear slightly mystified him.
Sydney looked at him and briefly debated whether or not to lie. This was one time she could be honest with her friends, and she couldn't turn her back to such a rare opportunity. "Yes, it's the gift guy," she agreed. "He's a really nice guy. It's just . . with work . . it's really complicated."
"Is he cute?" Francie asked as Charlie rolled his eyes.
"Yes, he's cute." She laughed.
"When do we get to meet him?" Will asked expectantly.
"You don't," she said to her friends obvious disappointment. "It's really so complicated . . the banks rules are so complicated . . . if we get caught we could get terminated."
"That sucks. Forbidden rendezvous are always so romantic and exciting though." Francie grinned. Not as much as you'd think, Sydney thought.
"How would you know?" Charlie teased.
"I've read books!" Francie insisted as they all laughed. "I think it's wonderful that you're going to be a Mom."
"Brave too," Will added with his mouth full of food.
"Brave?" Sydney asked.
"Yeah, sure. You're going to be a single Mom. Plus you've got that damn bank job. They hardly leave you enough time to pee and sleep. I just think it's brave of you to be having a baby." He shrugged.
"You won't be all alone. We'll help." Francie gently pat her knee. "I'm sure your Dad will help too." She added. Sydney smiled at the sentiment but doubted her Father's cooperation.
"I think you should name it William." Will teased as she shook her head.
"I'm not naming it William, Charles or Francine. That would be too confusing!" She laughed as Francie joined her.
"I think it's wonderful! This is going to be so exciting! Just don't expect me to be in the delivery room." Francie explained.
"She gets squirmish." Charlie explained.
"Yeah, I can't even watch A Baby Story on TLC without squirming. Sorry Syd, I'll be there just not in the room."
"It's fine," she smiled. "It's going to be fine. I've got plenty of time. I'm just glad you guys are okay with this."
"This is great, it's going to be great." Francie insisted, hugging her again as she smiled.
Sydney knew it wasn't going to be that easy, but her friends love and support made the burden slightly less heavy on her shoulders.
The mission a few days later was an easy success. Dixon created a diversion while she slipped way. Sloane's assessment had been right and there were no guards or security cameras. The biggest problem she had encountered was that the desk drawer containing the Bible was jammed. She was able to open it with the help of a nearby letter opener. She had switched the original with the CIA's duplicate within seconds and no one was any the wiser.
The best part of the mission, however, was that she was able to sleep in her own bed that night. She knew the next day involved having to meet with Sloane again, and she wasn't entirely comfortable with his initial reaction. The only thing she had to look forward to was the possibility of a meeting with Vaughn. At least she was going to be allowed to sleep in - her meeting at work wasn't until the early afternoon and she knew Vaughn wouldn't contact her before then. In her condition she needed the sleep more then ever.
Francie was sitting in the living room when she woke up the next morning. "What are you doing here?" Sydney smiled at her friend as she padded into the kitchen.
"Angie is opening the restaurant this afternoon," she explained. Angie was the manager of Francie's nearly year old restaurant, FC Cafe, which she concieved of during the time she was planning the wedding. Will joked that the restaurant was the only baby Charlie would let Francie have so early on in their marriage, and for the time being it was the only baby she was interested in having.
"Did Will leave?" She asked as she made herself a few pieces of toast and sat down with Francie.
"Yeah, yesterday afternoon. He said he'd be back by Monday," she explained. It was a Saturday. "I got you a present," she grinned. Sydney's brow scrunched as she watched her friend reach behind a nearby pillow and pull out a wrapped object.
"You didn't have to -"
"I wanted to. I didn't do it on purpose. I just saw it . . . I just wanted you to know that I'm behind you a hundred percent. I am so happy for you Syd, I know Danny would be too." She insisted. Sydney smiled, hoping it was true.
"Thanks Francie, that was so sweet of you," she remarked as she slowly unwrapped the present.
Within seconds she felt her eyes well. In her hands she held a copy of Two of Us Make a World: A Single Mother's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth & The First Year. She looked up at Francie and smiled. Although the title broke her heart, it was the cold reality of her life, and Francie's intentions had been well placed. "Thank you so much," she said and leaned over to hug her friend.
"You're welcome! I was at the mall and I saw it! I figure everyone else will be getting you What to Expect When Your Expecting. I saw some of the cutest outfits too, but Charlie said it's too soon to buy clothes."
"It probably is," she laughed. "They're all so cute though." She agreed.
"They are! I can't wait until we go buy that stuff! It's a good thing I'm out of here though, you'll get to make my room into a nursery."
"Yeah . . " she realized. The thought of actually holding the baby, of bringing it home to raise, hadn't hit her yet. She was too preoccupied with the notion of safely coming to term.
"I have some really great ideas for themes too! Will told me you probably have your own ideas, but I thought maybe if you needed some help -"
"I want your help. I'm going to need your help." She insisted with a smile. "The bank will probably want me working until the day before I have the baby," she said.
"As long as they cut back on those trips. I read that you can't fly in your third trimester anyway."
"You're really into this." Sydney smiled.
"Yeah . . I am. I only want one child, I know that. Now that you're having a baby . . it makes me want one sooner." She admitted as they both smiled.
"You are going to be a great Mom."
"So are you Syd." She smiled, pushing back a thick piece of Sydney's hair. "So, do I at least get to see a picture of this guy?"
Sydney laughed. "Hopefully one day you can meet him. It's just very complicated . . . You'd really like him."
"Is he cute?"
"He's adorable!" She laughed. "He's very handsome."
"Do you love him?" Francie asked.
She looked down at her plate of toast. Sydney had never said the words to Vaughn, she had never felt the need to. In return he had never said the words either. The truth was she did love him, so much that it went without saying. Sometimes she wondered if it was so powerful that it was obvious to those around them.
"You do love him," Francie remarked as she shrugged. "Does he know?"
"It's so complicated . . "
"Love's always complicated. This bank job isn't forever." Francie pointed out. I hope it's not forever, Sydney added to herself. "I don't want to make this any more difficult for you Syd. I'm so happy that you're making me an Aunt," she said as they both smiled. "I just hope one day I get to be your Maid of Honor. You deserve that. Danny would want it for you."
Sydney looked up, unable to hide the tears in her eyes. Francie sighed sympathetically and hugged her. "You are going to be fine. You're going to find a great guy . . maybe you already have. Plus, if you love him and he loves you, you'll work it out. No job is more important then being with the person you love."
Sydney sniffled and hugged her friend tighter.
One job's more important then being with the person you love, she thought miserably - mine.
Brigitte Vaughn led her son through the busy mall on the other side of town. Michael sighed heavily as they walked into yet another store. This time his Mother led him into Babies R Us - the largest one in Southern California. He wondered if this was his Mother's way of getting something out of him. "Charlotte and Patrick are having another baby." She said, her words finally earning her son's attention.
"What?" Michael asked, looking at her in surprise.
"Your sister and brother in law - "
"I know who they are Mom." He said as his Mother shook his head.
"I rarely get to go out with you Michael. If you had something else to do today you should of just said so. We could of had dinner this week instead." Brigitte reasoned.
"I'm fine Mom. I've just had a very busy week at work."
"That job . . it took your Father away from me. I refuse to let it take you away." She spoke strongly.
"I'm fine Mom. So Charlotte's pregnant?"
"Yes, the baby is due in May." She explained. "Don't you ever talk to your sister?"
"Apparently not as often as I should," he realized.
"That's okay, I'm sure she meant to call you soon." She smiled, holding up a tiny onesie covered in baseball items - balls, bats and caps. "What do you think of this?"
"Isn't it too soon to buy baby clothes?"
"I'm a Grandmother, it's never too soon to buy tiny little clothes." She grinned. He forced himself to look away as his Mother searched the various racks of tiny baby assembles.
"Isn't Maya a little young?" He asked. His niece had just turned two and he still imagined her as a baby.
"Hardly, she'll be two and a half, nearly three when this baby is born." His Mother explained. Brigitte turned towards him and smiled. "Michel, when your in love and love your family, it's never too soon or too much." She told him in french. He sighed and nodded. "So what has you so disturbed?" she asked, returning to English.
"Just . . a case . . a friend . ."
Brigitte led him further back into the store and briefly glanced at him over her shoulder. "I know I'm not a top-ranking official, but I am your Mother. You are allowed to occasionally tell me things about your job. Even about your life." She raised her eyebrows as he laughed.
"I do tell you," he insisted.
"You tell me what you think I want to hear. You tell me enough to keep me satisified. You don't tell me everything. Your Father was the same way . ."
"I just want to keep you safe." He insisted.
"I just want my son to tell me the truth," she said as she gave him a sharp glance.
"I want to tell you," he softly told her.
"Then tell me. I'm all ears." She pointed out. He sighed as she shook her head. "My guess would be that it involves a girl."
"It does . ."
"Please tell me it's not Alice." She pleaded as he laughed. His on again/off again relationship with Alice had never been something his Mother approved of. Something about Alice had always bothered Brigitte, although she had yet to pinpoint it's source.
"It's not Alice Mom. You've never met her."
"So, what's she like?"
"She's from work," he explained.
"So she's dangerous."
"No, she's not dangerous." He insisted. He knew Sydney could be dangerous, but not in the way his Mother meant.
"I think your in love." His Mother grinned and lead him out of the store.
"Mom, it's my job." Michael pointed out as she walked into a bookstore.
"I'm going to go look at books on Menapause." She looked at him as his face scrunched in disgust. "Since it's safe to assume you don't wish to look at such books, so can you keep yourself amused for five minutes?" She asked as he laughed.
"Yes Mom." He agreed. Brigitte made her way to the Woman's Health section of the store as he floated through.
Michael ended up in the Pregnancy/Childbirth section. His eyes scanned the titles, amazed at the scope of things one could write about on one topic. His heart stopped when his eyes landed on The Expectant Father. While he knew he shouldn't, he picked it up and flipped through the pages. There was so much to learn, and apparently so much he could and should do for his upcoming arrival. He closed the book and regretfully put it back on the shelf. For him his older sister's pregnancy couldn't of been more ill-timed. He'd have to watch his family celebrate his sister's arrival while hiding his own joy. The last thing he did was begrudge his sister and brother in laws good fortune, he just wished that some would turn his way.
He eyed the book one more time, wanting to buy it. In his perfect world he and Sydney were married, and SD-6 didn't exist. It was ironic, since without the existence of his enemy he never would have met her. His imagination bore no consideration of that though. Instead they were married with a tiny little beach front house. Francie, Will, Charlie and Eric came over often. Charlotte and Syndey were fabulous friends. Sydney taught high school Literature. They walked the beach with Donovan at night and they had been eagerly planning their upcoming arrival.
His Mother's voice reluctantly drew him back to reality. A world where he and Sydney couldn't acknowledge knowing one another. She had been set to marry Danny - and would have. He lived in a condo with Donovan while Eric dropped by. Sydney had her house, where her friends were often over for dinner and board games. The only time he was even able to look at her was in a dark warehouse. His sister didn't even know Sydney existed. Nothing was how it was supposed to be. That was reality though, and he had to make the best of what he had.
"Michael? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine Mom." He smiled at her.
"I think your sister had all of the books she needs . . " Brigitte commented, looking at the shelves of pregnancy books in front of them. "Make sure you call her after dinner tonight to congratulate them."
"I will," he promised.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine Mom." He insisted. Brigitte nodded although she still didn't believe him. Michael was much like his Father, and neither Father or Son had been particularly good liars.
"Just tell me. Is this girl French?" She questioned as her son laughed.
"I don't know . . she might be." He shrugged. She's Russian, he thought to himself, KGB actually. "Do you believe in fate?" He asked as they walked back into the main part of the mall.
"Yes . . I suppose so. I believe that your Father and I were supposed to be together. When I look at your sister and Patrick I have to believe the same thing. You and Alice . . I'm sorry sweetheart, but that just didn't seem right." She smiled apologetically.
"It's fine Mom. It's been awhile since we broke up." He reminded her.
"What about you Michel? Do you believe in fate?"
"I don't know. I'm not so sure that everything is predetermined." He spoke, his mind drifting back to Milo Rimbaldi's prophecy. "Don't we have choices?"
"Of course we do. We have choices that, if we're lucky, lead us to the right person." His Mother explained.
"What if we make the wrong decisions?" He asked. Brigitte grew briefly pensive and shrugged.
"Then we make a brief wrong turn. Hopefully it'll still lead us to another decision which then leads you to the right person." She explained. "Why so many questions?"
"Just curious." He insisted.
"It's definitely a young woman." Brigitte decided as they both laughed. "Let's go, I'll let you buy me lunch."
Sydney strode proudly on her heels into the cage of the warehouse. Her jaw was set and Vaughn's stomach dropped at her expression. He watched as she walked over tower over him as he sat on a crate. She remained silent as she reached into her tote and pulled out a book, nearly throwing it onto his lap.
He felt his stomach drop when he read the title. "'Two of Us Make A World: A Single Motehr's Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth and the First Year' . . ." he read outloud, fingering through the pages. "Looks interesting." He mused, looking up to find Sydney obviously not pleased.
"I can't do this." She declared, resting her hands on her hips.
"Syd, I know you, you can do this." He insisted, not doubting it for a moment. Deep in his heart he was so confident of her ability to embark on the journey ahead of her that he silently wondered if she'd even want his help when the opportunity arose.
"I don't want to do this." She restated, pacing the tiny area. "I don't want to be a single Mother! I don't want to have to explain everything to Will and Francie! I hate having to look them in the eye - "
"I know Syd - "
"No Vaughn, you don't know!" She snapped. "You have absolutely no idea what this is like for me!" She insisted loudly, stepping closer to him. "I'm not sleeping at night. I'm terrified to think of what SD-6 is trying to do to me and this baby! When I'm not preoccupied with this baby's safety, I'm in the bathroom sick!" She said.
"Don't you think I want to be there?" He snapped, slapping the book down on the crate and standing. "I know your doing this by yourself. I think about that all of the time!" He stopped, taking a second to calm down before things got out of control. They needed to work through this together, and arguing wouldn't accomplish that. "I had lunch with my Mother yesterday." He told her.
"Really? How'd that go?" She asked calmly, surprising him at her sudden mood change. Damn hormones, his mind reminded him.
"My sister's pregnant again. She and my brother in law are having another baby in May." He explained as she looked down at her feet. "I had to look my Mother in the eye and not say a single thing about you. Don't you think I'd like to be there for you? Damn, I hate not being able to do a damn thing for you. I can't say anything to anyone about any of this! If I could switch places with you, I would in a heartbeat."
"Well at least my Father's reacting well." She mumbled under her breathe, sitting down again. Vaughn looked back at her sharply. "What? He's not?"
"Devlin knows. He was on vacation. Your Father called him. We're putting plans into action to keep you and the baby safe." He explained, sitting down as she nodded. "Your Father visited my apartment a few days ago . ." He added. He looked up at her, not surprised to see her anxious eyes. "He's greatly disapointed. He accused me of being careless . . reckless . . . a poor case handler . . all of which are true." He added and ran a hand through his hair.
"Hey," she said softly, reaching out to grab his hand. He looked up in surprise, reassured to find her smiling gently. "It was a mistake. It's not like we sat down and plotted this." She said as he laughed and nodded. Her smaller hand squeezed his before letting go. "Congratulations to your sister. You have a niece already, right?"
"Yeah, Maya. She's two." He smiled, touched that she remembered. "My Mother's out shopping already. . . " He trailed off awkwardly.
"I'm sorry Vaughn." She whispered. "I'm so sorry I got you into this mess . ."
"Hey, I was already in this life when I met you." He reminded her.
"I brought you in even deeper . . . . if your Mother ever knew what I've forced you into, she'd hate me."
"My Mother wouldn't hate you." He insisted with a smile. "You never forced me into anything Syd. Anything I've done with you has been of my own choice."
"Will says the baby should be William." She said as he laughed. "I've been thinking about names . . which I know it's totally insane," she admitted with a silly grin. "It's just something fun to think about . . . So far I've got a list of names we can't use that's bigger then the list of names I like."
Vaughn smiled, glad she was able to enjoy a brief, simple pleasure that all mothers-to-be enjoyed. "What names can't we use?" He asked, looking at her. She'd have to leave in a few moments, or else their meeting would become suspiciously long, but he enjoyed the brief opportunity to just look at her and talk to her.
"Arvin, of course." She grinned as he laughed. "Laura, Alexander, Irina, Steven . . There's quite a few." She admitted with a grin. "What's your Mom's name?"
"Brigitte." He explained as she smiled.
"That's very pretty."
"Very french." Sydney grinned.
"Hey, are you french?" He asked. Sitting across from him, she nearly laughed at the question.
"I don't know . . " She admitted. "Why?"
"Just wondering." He shrugged.
"What's your sisters name?"
"Charlotte. She's married to Patrick."
Sydney smiled. Even their names made them sound like such nice, decent people. They were his relatives, and she couldn't imagine any relative of his being anything else. Her family, however, she thought in slight disgust. At least her Father was a respectable human being, despite his usual emotional distance. Her Father loved her, and unlike her Mother, Jack Bristow always had her best interest at heart.
"I should be going." She realized. Sydney stood and grabbed her tote.
"Here, don't forget this." He awkwardly handed her the book.
"Thanks." She smiled and slipped it back into her bag. "Francie bought it for me." She added, realizing she had never told him.
"Your friends want to help you." He said as she nodded.
"Yeah, I know." She said. "You'll contact me when they figure out what the code in the Bible means?"
"Of course. Make sure you get some rest." He advised. Sydney smiled.
"I'm going to try."