Title: Coming to Terms (Chapter 4)
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com
Authors Note:
My life is sad - I'm watching a Yankees-Braves 1996 World Series Game on ESPN Classic. Good news is that UConn season starts November 23rd! Yay! :)
Thank you SOO much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I love you all **So** much. I would love to respond to you personally, but right now I only have internet @ my Dads, and I'm only there twice a week (at best) so it's kind of hard to do. Please don't think I don't appreciate it. Whoever said they were adding this story to their favorite stories list, THANK YOU SOO MUCH! lol, I spent all of last Saturday SOOO excited about that, I told my Mom, Dad & sister, I was soo excited :) Everyone's kind words mean so much to me.
Also (if anyone cares) any guesses on what Syd's having and a name? The clock is ticking now. I'm trying not to skip over significant periods of time while also not dragging my heels too long at one stage in the story/pregnancy. If anyone has any comments on whether I'm going to fast/slow, feel free to leave me a comment. Plus, let me add that I already know what Syd's having AND I'm cemented on a first name. My sister and I are debating middle names, we're not quite in agreement yet, but we've got time (my poor little sister's sick, keep her in your prayers!) But I'm open to suggestions on names, especially if I can tie them in with the middle name. I think my first name is SOO original - I swear, if anyone takes it in a story before I get to post the birth, I will be SOO bummed. Hopefully I can churn this baby out quick enough that I keep my name idea my own :)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, The Little Mermaid, Star Wars,the Lakers, Kobe Bryant, The Kings and certainly not any Alias-related character, place, etc. I'm having fun, please don't sue.
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). I mention Emily still being alive. It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!
Also, I've never had a baby, and at the rate my body works, I probably never will. I do know that ultrasounds take place *usual* in a healthy pregnancy during the 20th week. I've read various places about different points in the pregnancy to take childbirth classes, so just go with it, okay? :)
Okay, finally, here's the story! (Please read & respond :))
A Wednesday evening meeting at SD-6 was filled with Sloane telling her and Dixon was patriots they were and how wonderfully they served their country.
The half hour long meeting caused Sydney's nausea to return.
For their accomplishments, Sloane awarded them the rest of the week off. After all, in his words they had helped secure their beloved countries safety and security. They should be proud of themselves. Sydney was proud of herself, although more for successfully betraying Sloane then having helped advance his interests. Helping a snake like Sloane was the absolute last thing she wanted to do ever again.
Sydney spent most of Thursday sleeping. There was too much, good and bad, racing in her head. Soon enough not all the make up or clothes in the world would be able to hide her pregnancy. That weekend she had promised Francie they'd go shopping for maternity clothes, a promise she knew she'd have to keep. Now that Francie was married with the restaurant, they never seemed to have enough time together. With her baby's birth just a few months away their time to hang out together would soon enough be cut even more short. She knew Francie would help her with as much as she could, and she didn't doubt her friends' word, but helping her with a baby wouldn't be the same as the two of them having fun together.
Friday morning she went for a run, taking in the cool early November air. Houses and public buildings were preparing for Thanksgiving and soon enough it would be Christmas. A look at her watch reminded her that Vaughn's birthday was only three weeks away. Yet another significant thing she wouldn't be able to celebrate with him. In her heart and dreams she hoped that at that time next year things would be different. Maybe she'd be teaching. Maybe she'd take some time off. The most important thing was that she dreamed of having a normal life, of being happy with her child and Vaughn. If she were lucky, perhaps her Dad would be a significant part in her life. Nothing would make her happier.
In the park she saw young parents walking babies or playing with toddlers. There were even a few grandparents out with their children and grandchildren. Normalcy was something so many people took for granted. People like Francie and Charlie, Will and Jennie . . . They took it for granted that they'd wake up every morning next to the person they loved. They had the freedom to be with whomever they loved. They were free to have children without fear that the child would become a pawn.
Sydney knew in a perverse way she enjoyed being a spy. The fundamentals of espionage were in her blood. Both of her parents were spies and she could only imagine how far back it went in her Mother's family. She would gladly drain it from her system to allow her the possibility of being normal. Being normal with Vaughn wouldn't be like it would have been with Danny. No matter how much she loved Danny - and she had full heartedly loved him - it would have been a ruse. Vaughn would never ask her Father's permission to marry her like Danny had, even though the gesture would have been more significant now then it was then. Jack Bristow, she hoped, respected Vaughn enough to approve of his relationship with his daughter - once, of course, SD-6 was no longer in existence.
She paused to rest at a bench and caught her Father walking towards her. She blinked a few times to make certain who it was while he sat down next to her. "Is running safe in your condition?"
"I'm fine," she smiled as she took a deep breath. "Helps me clear my mind."
"You did good in New York."
"Thanks," she smiled. "Sometime in February or March can I get into the storage facility and get some things for the nursery?"
"Of course. Will you need help moving things?"
"Sure," she agreed, happy he had offered. "Charlie and Will are going to help too."
"Francie and Charlie's Halloween party was very nice."
"Yes, they said it was great." She nodded. "Francie and I are going shopping this weekend."
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm okay." She insisted with a smile. She stood and stretched for a second before she looked back at him. "I'll see you later." Her Father simply nodded and she went back to her jogging.
The next afternoon Francie and Sydney went baby/maternity shopping for the first time. She was nearly sixteen weeks and while she thought she was showing, everyone else thought she was insane. Although Francie insisted she didn't want any children yet and when she did she only wanted one, she had an excellent time shopping. They kept to their agreement and only bought maternity items, even though both were tempted when they stopped to look at baby clothes and other tiny infant items.
Saturday night was spent alone. Her eyes kept wandering over to the phone and her fingers itched to call Vaughn. Instead she laid on her couch, looking over Our Lady of Mercy's pamphlet on childbirth classes and tours of the hospital. Her pregnancy still had a long ways to go, but there was so much to do and prepare for. The worse part was the sense of dread in her blood, knowing Vaughn couldn't be a part of any of it.
Since she wanted to see him so badly, it only made sense that Sydney didn't get to see Vaughn again until the following Wednesday. Sloane had sent Dixon on a solo mission to Tokyo for the duration of the week to obtain information on Rimbaldi. With the possibility of the destruction of SD-6 so close at hand, Sydney knew that the Rimbaldi artifact had taken the back burner. That had meant there was no counter mission, leaving her to wonder why he had called her to the warehouse Wednesday night.
"Hi," she greeted with a smile as she walked in.
"Hey," he smiled, his grin silly as he looked at her. "Are those clothes new?" He asked.
Sydney felt her cheeks turn red as she looked down at her outfit. The November night was as chilly as it ever became in California, and she had grabbed a large denim jacket to toss over her corduroy overalls and black-shirt. She had bought all of it the weekend before, and since her original plans had included stopping at the restaurant, she thought it would be nice to wear the clothes she and Francie had just bought. "Yeah. Maternity clothes." She confessed.
"Well . . They're nice." He complimented as they smiled at one another. "Cavilerri's finally talking."
"That's great. We're one step closer to the take down. I'm just sorry I couldn't go get the Rimbaldi information."
"Don't worry about it, Rimbaldi's the least of the CIA's concerns. If the FBI worries about it that much, they can use their own resources, right now we're busy with the Alliance."
"Is that why you called me?"
"No . . I called you because I was worried." He admitted, unable to meet her gaze. "I haven't had the chance to see you in awhile . . I know it's dangerous and against protocol, but I just needed - "
"I'm glad you called." She stopped him with her words and her smile. "I've . . Missed you." She muttered softly, just loud enough for him to hear her and smile. "How's Charlotte doing?"
"She's fine. Feeling much better now." Vaughn explained. "I'm sorry about Halloween . . And Maya. I didn't even consider the possibility of ending up at your house."
"Maya is very cute." She commented as he nodded.
"She looks a lot like my sister."
Sydney smiled; trying to imagine what Maya would look like as an adult. Her mind created a picture of a tall woman with features similar to Vaughn's.
"How did the Halloween party go at Francie and Charlie's restaurant?"
"Very well, but it always does well," she smiled as he nodded. "I should go," she realized regretfully. Vaughn understood with a nod.
"Take care," he spoke softly. She smiled and nodded as she turned and walked out of the warehouse.
There was plenty to keep her busy of the next couple of days, both in and outside of the Credit Dauphine building. Francie realized that Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away as Sydney realized that Vaughn's birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year. The restaurant was historically deserted on Thanksgiving Day. With that in mind, Syd suggested that Will, Jennie, Francie and Charlie come over and celebrate with her. Not only would that give her the privilege of having her friends around her on the special day, but it also meant that someone else would be doing the cooking.
The second Monday of November marked the sixteenth week or fourth month of her pregnancy. Will left that morning for a journalist's convention in Sacramento. The week was remarkably quiet, with Will gone and Francie and Charlie busy with the restaurant. Francie managed to come over a few nights that week. They'd sit around watching television and debating names that Francie found in a book of baby names she had bought. Her best friend enthusiastically made suggestions, with names ranging from Brittany ("Francie, are you serious? Brittany Bristow?" She pointed out as Francie had wrinkled her nose in disgust) to Anaken ("Anaken? There's no way that's in there!" She protested. "It is, it's right here!" Francie insisted. "I'm not giving birth to a Star Wars character.") To Sebastian ("This is a baby, not a red lobster from a Disney movie," had been Sydney's response) to Sabrina ("When she grows up, she'll be a teenage witch?" Sydney asked her best friend dryly). By the end of the week she was still left with a list of names she disliked that was longer then the list of names she liked.
With SD-6 taking her health in to consideration, Sloane sent her on fewer missions. As a result, she had significantly less work-related reason to meet with Vaughn. It also affected how much Intel the CIA was getting, although her Father was still in Sloane's good graces. According to her Father, the CIA was making huge progress in destroying the Alliance and SD-6 without her help. She was glad that the CIA was making progress that would allow her freedom, but she couldn't help but wonder if she was needed at all. If she wasn't needed to help take down SD-6, what was her purpose, to help the enemy by pushing papers?
"The work you've done - and will continue to do - is extremely vital to what we're doing." Vaughn strongly reminded her as he sat across from her in the warehouse. She had called him there on the third Tuesday of the month in a hormonal phase of self-doubt. Having spent most of her recent days sitting in meetings and filling out paperwork at her SD-6 desk, she had grown despondent and depressed. At seventeen weeks she hadn't even felt the baby move yet and was frustrated that all of her second trimester energy was going to waste while she sat at a desk.
"I'm sick of doing absolutely nothing!"
"You're doing something Sydney, you're growing a child." He gently pointed out.
"Yes, I'm growing a child, and by not working to take down SD-6, I'm not doing a damn thing to insure that this baby will be able to live a safe, happy life."
"What do you think I'm doing?" He questioned in a low baritone. "Working to take down the Alliance is the only thing I can do for the both of you. Trust me, trust that I'm doing everything I can to insure that you and the baby *will* have a safe, happy future."
While her mind had been working overtime, flooded with thoughts and ideas as she sat at her desk in boredom, she had never considered it from that angle. Her trust in him was not to be questioned, she trusted him with everything vital in her life. He was the only person in her life who listened and supported her without question. Even the vast shadow of the CIA and its protocol hanging over them, he supported her because of who he was and not because of his job description.
"I'm sorry," she shook her head and smiled at him. "You know I trust you. I just *hate* that I can't do anything."
"Syd, you've already done so much. We wouldn't have the Bible or the disks in our possession. If we didn't have the Bible, we certainly wouldn't have Cavilerri in custody," he reminded her. "Just because you need to stop now doesn't mean that your work has gone unnoticed or no longer matters. What you have done is *essential*, and will not be forgotten by anyone at the CIA anytime soon. I promise you that."
"I hate waiting."
"I know," he nodded. "What are you going to do for Thanksgiving?"
"Francie, Charlie, Will and Jennie are coming over," she explained. "I was thinking of inviting my Dad too."
"Good," he commented.
"Thanksgiving is your birthday, isn't it?" She casually asked, although she was already aware that it was his birthday.
"Yeah, it is." He nodded, a hint of a smile on his face. "I'm going to my Mother's house. Charlotte, Patrick and Maya should be there."
"That's nice." She smiled. He looked at her and nodded, a trace of sadness on his face. There was no point in hiding the longing they both felt to spend the holiday with one another. In his dreams, Vaughn would walk in to his Mother's house with Sydney by his side, introducing her to his immediate family and joyously announcing their upcoming arrival. The real world, however, would see him with his Mother, sister and brother in law and she with her friends, a short geographical distance apart but it might as well be a million worlds away.
"I hope that your Father accepts your invitation."
"Yeah, me too." She nodded. "I should get going. I'm supposed to pick Will up at the airport. He's getting back from his journalist convention."
Vaughn nodded, working to contain the jealousy he felt towards a man he had never even met. An insane jealousy, given the fact that he was the one with the girl and not Will, but he wanted nothing more then to share the simple, normal things that Will was able to share with Sydney. No matter what he felt towards Sydney, or her towards him, he was still very much an outsider on her life, his nose pressed up against the window and his wide eyes carefully looking in.
Sydney flashed him a full smile, her dimples visible before she walked past him. He was unable to stop himself from looking over his shoulder and watching her walk out of the warehouse, and once again out of his life.
Friday came, and with it the unofficial countdown to the beginning of the holiday season. She sat at her desk, completing even more mind-numbing SD-6 paperwork, when her Father walked by. "Dad?"
Jack stopped and looked at his only daughter. "Yes, Sydney?"
"Do you have a minute?" She asked softly. Without hesitation he nodded and led her into the empty conference room. He pulled out his pen and reminded her that they had three minutes. "I was wondering if you were doing anything for Thanksgiving."
"No, I have no plans," he blankly responded.
"Well . . Francie and Charlie are coming over, and Will's coming with his new girlfriend . . .Would you like to come?" She questioned, struggling to keep a neutral expression.
Her Father took only a few seconds of deliberation to respond. "Yes, that would be fine."
"Okay. You could come over at about four, we'll eat a little bit after that." She suggested with a smile. This was the first Thanksgiving since her childhood that they would spend together, and the first one in her adult life that they would choose to spend together.
"I'll be there," he nodded and stood up. Sydney watched as he walked out of the room.
Sydney spent the majority of her weekend with Francie. Charlie and Will managed the restaurant while they went shopping to prepare for Thanksgiving. There was a menu to prepare and recipes to find. Jennie had already agreed to bring dessert for her new friends, meaning one less thing to buy and prepare. Francie's one attempt at cooking a turkey, on the Thanksgiving that Charlie proposed, had been disastrous. Needless to say Sydney agreed that she would make the turkey and stuffing and her friend could cook all of the side dishes.
The last week of November was a short week at SD-6. Sloane was leaving Tuesday night with Emily, who had decided it would be a nice idea to spend Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Since her remission, she had been suggesting they travel and see more, taking advantage of the time she had been given. She was even trying to convince Sydney to allow her to throw her a baby shower, thrilled at Sydney's upcoming arrival. While Sloane's implications that she was like a daughter to him made her skin crawl, Sydney smiled at Emily's maternal instinct towards her. Laura Bristow was dead, and Irina Derevko was the enemy. Emily Sloane, regardless of her choice in spouse, was the best and closest thing she had to a mother.
Francie arrived late Wednesday night to start preparing for the next big day. Sydney hadn't seen Vaughn all week and fought the urge to call him. There would be the proper place and time to wish him a happy birthday, and it wasn't when he was spending time with his family. She had her own plans to look forward to, including her first real holiday with her Father. Starting that night, Francie kept her too busy in the kitchen to consider her Father or Vaughn, or even the destruction of the Alliance. Instead she focused on making candied potatoes and mashed potatoes from scratch. There was stuffing to be made and muffins to be baked. She had to live the life she had instead of focusing on the life she so desperately wanted.
Will and Jennie arrived late Thursday morning. Charlie and Will parked themselves in the living room watching the various Thanksgiving Day football games. Francie and Sydney had been up early watching the Thanksgiving Day parade before returning to work in the kitchen. The day was filled with a lot of rushing to prepare meals before they had to sit down and wait for everything to be done cooking.
"Syd, what's wrong?" Will asked, nudging her with his foot. She looked up in surprise. Her Father would be there soon, but instead of being worried about having him there, she was far too preoccupied with what she was missing.
"Nothings wrong." She insisted with an attempt at a smile.
"You're not nervous about your Dad, are you?" Francie asked sympathetically. "It's going to be fine Syd, I'm really glad he's coming."
"Me too," she sincerely replied. No matter how thrilled she was at her Father's presence, her mind kept wandering back to who wasn't there. That was Vaughn's birthday, and he was somewhere without her. With her pregnancy and their baby's life growing more everyday inside of her, it only seemed right that he should be there with her. Under any other circumstances, and he would have been in a heartbeat.
A short time later Francie went to start set the table and brought the side dishes out. The doorbell rang only seconds later, announcing Jack Bristow's arrival. Sydney stood and straightened the wrinkles out of her black maternity jacket. She opened the door and smiled at her Father, instantly relieved that he was there.
"Hi," she moved out of the way to let him in.
"Hi," he greeted, carrying a bottle of wine.
"Hey Mr. Bristow," Will greeted, standing to shake the man's hand.
"Mr. Tippin," Jack greeted. Will then introduced Jack to Jennie and Charlie reintroduced himself before he offered to take Jack's coat.
"I know you can't drink it, but I bought wine."
"Thanks Dad," Sydney smiled and took the bottle. Before she could walk into the kitchen, Francie walked out to announce that dinner was ready. She took the wine from Sydney and directed everyone to go wait in the dining room, refusing all offers Sydney made to help.
Jack carved the turkey and everyone sat down to dish out his or her sides. The dining room was quickly filled with the scent of good food and the sound of laughter. Will related a few anecdotes from his recent trip to Sacramento while Francie shared the horrors that came with the inner workings of a restaurant. Eventually, just as it always did those days, by dessert the topic of conversation turned towards Sydney's upcoming arrival.
"At least work isn't sending you on as many business trips." Francie commented.
"Yeah, although I never realized how boring it is to just sit at a desk and do paperwork." Sydney responded.
"Hey, have you felt the baby move yet?" Jennie asked with a smile, fascinated by her new friend's pregnancy.
"Not yet. I'm eighteen weeks, so I feel like I should have by now."
"What does the doctor say?" Jack said with paternal concern in his eyes. She knew her Father's first thoughts went to the possibility that Sloane had done something to harm the baby
"That as long as I feel movement by the twentieth week, it's fine. Since this is my first pregnancy, I might not recognize the baby moving even if I do feel it."
"I think it's a boy," Will reminded them as he took a huge bite of his pie.
"You just want it to be a boy. There's no way you have any intuition about it whatsoever." Sydney protested with a smile.
"What do you think she's having, Mr. Bristow?" Francie asked.
Jack glanced sideways at Sydney. "As long as I have a healthy grandchild, I have no preference."
"I really hope it's a girl so you can name it Laura." Francie commented. Both Jack and Sydney looked briefly at her and then exchanged glances. While they were still rebuilding their relationship, he knew that his daughter would not name her daughter Laura for a myriad of legitimate reasons.
"I like Alexandra, it means protector of mankind." Jennie suggested cheerfully. She smiled at the suggestion but knew it wasn't going to happen. No matter how nice the meaning of the name, Alexandra was far too close to the name Alexander Khasinau for her to use the name on any child of hers.
"William Bristow," Will mumbled.
"No!" Francie, Jennie and Sydney all protested in unison. Jack and Charlie laughed as Will's cheeks turned red.
"I can't until Christmas is done and you let me start getting the nursery ready. I can't wait to see all of your families old baby pieces," Francie smiled.
Sydney grinned, "calm down. I have the rest of the pregnancy to go, there's plenty of time for you to finish the nursery."
"Mr. Bristow, will you be helping us move furniture?" Will asked.
"Yes, of course. I'll be there."
"Syd, have you signed up for childbirth classes yet? You should probably start them soon." Charlie reminded her.
"I'm going to sign up next week." She smiled.
"Francie, will you be Sydney's coach?" Jack asked as she wrinkled her nose.
"Oh no Mr. Bristow, I would be a horrible coach. Sydney needs someone who can help her, not someone who will pass out at the first sign of body fluids!" She insisted as they all laugh.
"I'm planning on being there in the room with Syd." Will spoke up. Jack nodded and glanced at his daughter, wondering if she had informed Agent Vaughn of her plans.
"You still look really good Syd, I'm so jealous. I hope when I'm pregnant I look half as good as you do." Francie complimented.
"You're being silly. I'm only eighteen weeks. Soon enough my belly button will pop and my ankles will be swollen," she insisted.
"I'll go with you to sign up for classes if you want," Francie offered. "Just not until next week. We're going away tomorrow."
"You are?" Sydney asked in surprise.
"Yeah," Charlie grinned. "It was sort of a surprise. We're going to Arizona for a long weekend."
"That's really sweet," she smiled as everyone agreed. "Are you two doing anything?" She asked, directing her question at Jennie and Will.
"We both have to do some work, but we'll probably hang out at my place. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Jennie asked in concern.
"I'll be fine," she insisted with a smile. Deep down she wanted to tell them that she had plans of her own, but she knew she couldn't.
"Jennie, this pie was delicious." Charlie complimented.
"It was. Anyone want seconds?" Sydney offered, grinning as she stood up.
They sat talking and eating pie long into the night. Sydney watched, as her Father seemed to slightly relax as the evening progressed. At some points he was just as involved in the conversation as she was. Her Father sat talking to Charlie and Will about the Lakers. Jack insisted that Kobe Bryant was overrated, which led to Francie joining the conversation to defend her beloved basketball player. Sydney was surprised at how, for a brief time, her Father seemed normal. Apparently he watched basketball and read the newspaper and lived a life just like any other Father in the world. More then that, despite his initial protests, he was an eager Grandfather-to-be. Most of all that realization warmed her heart and made her smile.
"I really think tonight was a success." Francie smiled warmly. Jack and Jennie had left and Will and Charlie watched football in the living room. Syd was in the kitchen with Francie, wrapping up the leftovers and cleaning up from the mess. "Your Dad seems to be warming up to the idea of being a Grandfather."
"Yeah, he is." She agreed. "He wasn't really happy in the beginning. He was worried about me not being married . . About how my boss would react if he found out who the Father is . ."
"Does your Dad know the baby's Father?"
"Yes, he does. I haven't come out and told my Dad who the Father is, but I know he knows."
"Does he like him?"
"Does my Dad like the baby's Father or does the baby's Father like my Dad?" She asked, confused with the question.
"Both."
"The baby's Father . . . He doesn't always agree with my Father, but he respects him. I don't think he'd ever admit it, but he admires my Father. Sometimes I think it's impossible not to admire my Father in some way." She pointed out with a shrug. "My Dad . . . I don't think I'm ever going to find a man that my Father will ever completely approve of, but I really do believe that Dad likes him. Even if he refuses to admit it."
Francie laughed. "My Dad took awhile to warm up to Charlie, but now I think he likes Charlie more then me!"
"I guess Fathers never stop seeing us as the five year old girls who adored them." She suggested in a low voice with a soft smile.
"Yeah," Francie agreed. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Nothing, why?" She asked, alarmed that her friend had sensed something.
"I think you've got a little secret rendezvous with your mystery man that you don't want Will or your Dad to know about." She whispered with a grin. "I think it's wonderful too. I really can't wait to meet the guy."
"I hope you get to meet him one day Francie, he would love to meet you."
"He knows about me?"
"Of course he knows about you!" Sydney insisted.
"I'm so jealous of you, you know that, you are barely even showing." She commented again. Sydney shook her head and looked down at her stomach. She was wearing a black dress with a matching black blazer. Black was by far her best and most thinning color.
"I can't even fit into my regular clothes anymore. I'm starting to show and I'm starting to gain weight."
"It's totally normal. Your body is so unfair Syd, seriously, you'll probably give birth and be your normal weight the next day." She playfully teased.
"We'll see about that. Just promise me you'll be there as soon as I'm done giving birth."
"I promise, once all the blood and body fluids are gone, Charlie and I will be there with bells on."
Sydney smiled and hugged her. "Thanks Francie."
"Your welcome Syd," she smiled and pulled back. "Have fun tomorrow, promise me, no matter what your doing. Don't go to the bank."
"I'll stay very far away from the bank and work, I promise."
Sydney lay wrapped up in the warm bed. A tiny voice in the back of her mind kept reminding her why she shouldn't be there and why instead she should be a hundred miles away at home. She needed this though, for her heart and her soul, she needed a few stolen hours. It was Thanksgiving weekend, and with Sloane away and her Father temporarily in control of SD-6, this was her best and probably last chance to do this before the baby was born.
The bed dipped down with his weight as he slipped in to the bed behind her, snuggly wrapping his arms around her. His breath was warm on her cheek when he rested his chin on her shoulder and nestled her close to him. "You're worried," he whispered and brushed a kiss across her ear.
"I'm always worried. Aren't you?" She glanced over her shoulder and briefly met his lips.
"Right now, here with you, I try not to." He explained as she smiled at him.
"I feel safe here with you, if that's what you're worried about."
Silently he held her tighter and she felt him nod against her shoulder. Her eyes slipped shut and she allowed her breathing to slow down as she relaxed. "I wish it didn't have to be like this," he whispered.
Slowly she opened her eyes and wrapped her arms over his. "So do I."
"At least I'm here, celebrating my birthday with you." He pointed out. Her head shook and she looked back at him.
"Today's not your birthday."
His green eyes closely studied her for a second before he dropped a kiss to her bare shoulder. "Let's just pretend it is."
"How long can we keep pretending?"
"As long as it takes." He whispered. She lay still as his body moved so that he was looking down at her, meeting her eyes. "Syd . . This . . Us. What we have here isn't pretending." He reminded her gently.
She looked up at him, her brown eyes full of trust as she nodded. "I know," she agreed as their lips met for a few seconds of safekeeping.
They separated and he pulled her back into his arms. Sydney peacefully laid there, enjoying the brief time where she could be happy, comfortable and at peace. She was only seconds away from caving in to sleep when her eyes shot open. "Syd? Syd, what is it?"
Without speaking she took his hands and placed them on her slightly curved stomach. "I think I felt the baby move." She whispered.
"Really? For the first time?" He was unable to hide his smile when she nodded.
"Yeah, I think so," she glanced back at him and smiled. "Whoa, I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to feel the baby move."
His warm chuckle soothed her spirit. "Don't worry, if the baby is anything like it's Father, it'll be playing hockey in there before this is all over with."
"I'm having a single baby, not the entire Kings starting line up." She dryly pointed out.
"I know," he laughed. "How much longer until the ultrasound?"
"Seventeen days," she informed him and squeezed his hand. If there were any way to have him safely at the ultrasound, she would do it in a heartbeat. There was no way though, not without risking severe harm to him or their child, and she refused to compromise them. They were far too ingrained in her future post-SD-6 plans to even gamble the chance. They were going to be her future, and she needed to see to it that they were safe. In turn, she and the baby were his future and he took every step to insure their safety.
"Are you going to ask what is it?"
"Nope, I want to be surprised," she grinned as he smiled.
"Surprises are good. What do you think it is?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I really just want to be surprised."
"Me too." He agreed. "Just as long as it isn't an Arvin," he pointed out and kissed her cheek.
"No Arvin's," she vowed as she cuddled closer to him. "I decided on a theme for the nursery."
"Yes?"
"Teddy Bears. It was the same theme my nursery had."
He smiled, "I like that."
"Me too. Francie was thrilled when I told her." She grinned at the memory.
"Do you remember that teddy bear I gave you last Christmas?" He questioned as she nodded with an odd glance in his direction. "The obviously aged one?"
"Yes, I remember. I had a very difficult time explaining where I got it."
His arms grew tighter before he continued. "My Grandparents were wonderful people. Very wonderful people. My Grandmother would let me get away with anything growing up . . . " He smiled at the memory. "They loved one another very much. My parents loved one another very much too, but it was different. They went through a lot in their marriage. It took them seven years to conceive my Mother, and my Grandmother almost died having her . . . My Grandfather would do anything for my Mother or Grandmother . . . They were married for about fifty years before my Grandmother died of colon cancer. They loved one another very, very much. My Mother used to tell Charlotte and I that if we ever wanted to see what love looked like, we should just look at a picture of our Grandparents together. You could actually see the love between them, it was amazing."
Sydney looked at him, a small smile on her confused features. "What does that have to do with the bear?"
"That teddy bear was the very first thing my Grandfather ever gave my Grandmother. When we were cleaning their home after my Grandfather's death, my Mother gave it to me. Both she and Charlotte loved that bear, and it was obvious they both would have taken it, but she gave it to me."
"Why?" She asked quietly, now fully confused.
"It's become a symbol in my family, an heirloom. My Grandparents are the type of couple that Charlotte tells Maya about in fairy tales. My Mother gave me the bear because she wanted me to save it and give it to the woman I intended to bring into our family."
"Thank you," she whispered, moving in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. "That's beautiful."
"I wanted you to have it, you don't need to thank me." He whispered back, kissing the shell of her ear.
She smiled and looked up at him, deciding to change the subject to something more light-hearted. "What do you think of the name Emily?"
"After Emily Sloane?"
Sydney glanced up at him, "yes, but she's a wonderful woman."
"Yes, I'm sure she's a wonderful woman. It's a nice name. Just very common nowadays."
"Why? You don't like common names?" She asked, sitting up and pulling the sheet with her.
"No, Syd, of course not, common names are fine." He sat up and sighed. Times such as that, when they could really be together, were so rare that he didn't want to disturb their created sanctuary by starting an argument. "I grew up with a common name though, and it can really be a pain in the ass to always be referred to be your name and last initial."
"Oh," she thoughtfully declared. "I hadn't thought of it that way."
"It's okay," he smiled and kissed her shoulder. "There's plenty of time Syd, I'm sure whatever name you pick out I'll like."
She nodded and watched as he slipped out of bed. "I should go shower."
"Okay," she said with a small smile, her eyes on him until he was out of sight.
She stayed there, laying in his arms and feeling their baby's first movements, until the earliest hours on Saturday morning. The streetlights were still on when she pulled out of the parking lot and started the two-hour drive home. He had been half awake when she kissed him and snuck out, knowing it wasn't safe to risk staying any longer. Even with aliases and havens hours from home didn't make things completely safe. It had broken her heart to leave him there, not daring to leave him a note on the slight chance it fell into the wrong hands. Now she had to return to Los Angeles, to her life as Sydney Bristow, super spy and future solo mommy.
There was something beautiful and poignant about seeing the California sunrise while one drove on the Pacific Highway heading home. Her thoughts danced over her uncertain future. So much was unknown, would the Alliance really face destruction, would she ever have the normalcy she craved. Life could be so bitterly unfair. A decade ago she had had no idea what she was getting in to, what a life altering decision it would be to call the number on that crisp, white business card. She had been insane, believing she fit a profile. What profile is that, she wondered, the profile of your average daughter of two spies? How many of us can there possibly be, she thought questionably.
Now she was having her own child. Her greatest wish for her child was that it would be happy and raised as the child of two normal, loving parents. Gender was unimportant, her Father had been correct. In her line of work, in her life, the most essential thing was that the baby was healthy. Sydney was not going to be like her own Mother. She had her Father and Vaughn to insure that it never happened. There was no way she would ever willingly walk away from her own child or lie to the baby's Father. She might have half of Irina Derevko's blood running through her veins, but Sydney was not her Mother. Jack Bristow's influence was too strong for her to ever become that type of person, and Vaughn's belief and faith in her far too true to ever allow her character to falter.
Sydney remained busy the remainder of the weekend. She helped run the cash register at the restaurant Saturday and Sunday afternoons when Francie was short staffed. The rest of the time, she and Francie sat debating various drawings and colors for the nursery. All of her friends had been thrilled when she announced that she had experienced the first movement, now just waiting for the time when they could feel the baby moving too.
SD-6 kept her busy on Monday. She spent her morning in meetings about Rimbaldi, Jeter and Cavilerri, listening to Sloane go on about how the government's security was being compromised because of Jeter and Cavilerri. Afterwards she patiently sat in Marshall's office, watching as he showed off all of his new gadgets and ideas. He was sweet and entertaining. Plus, anything was better then doing more paperwork.
Sydney took the next day, the first Tuesday of December, off. At nineteen weeks she drove over to Our Lady of Mercy Hospital. There seemed to be hundreds of sheets of paperwork to fill out in order to register for childbirth classes and a tour of the maternity ward. Even though she was only filling out paperwork, she was relieved to be doing something productive, even if it wasn't at all related with destroying the Alliance.
In the early afternoon Sydney attempted to lie down for a nap before the phone rang and Joey's Pizza summoned her to the warehouse. She took a jog to the warehouse, allowing herself to exercise and enjoy the early winter air. Winter, Christmas and the New Year were just around the corner. More important in Sydney's mind, however, was that her ultrasound was a short six days away. Her first glimpse at the life she was soon to bring into the world.
Vaughn was waiting for her, going over files when she walked in. He looked up and his face flirted with a smile, allowing his dimples to show. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," she smiled. "I signed up for childbirth classes today."
"That's good. Our Lady of Mercy?" He asked as she nodded. Vaughn had anticipated that her labor would take place at an SD-6 hospital and knew it was impossible to stop it. "Did Francie go with you?"
"No. Actually, Will's going to be my coach."
His eyes widened and he was obviously displeased with the news. "Will? Why Will?"
"Because I asked Will." She shrugged, not seeing why this meant so much to him.
"Damn it Sydney, I don't want him as your coach!" He snapped. Sydney's eyes widened and she stepped back slightly.
"That sounds suspiciously like an order." She pointed out in a low voice.
"Your right, it is." He agreed, not lowering his voice. "It's my baby too and I *don't* want Will to be your coach!"
"Damn it, I'm the one who's going to be in labor!" She reminded him loudly. "It's not as though you can be there!"
His face darkened at her words. "Don't you think I know that? That I don't sit at night agonizing over the fact that you're going to bring my child into the world and I can't even be within a fifty mile radius when it happens?" He reminded her. His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sydney silently watched as he took a few seconds to pace and regain his composure. Turning back towards her, he spoke gently. "Can't you just ask Francie?"
"No, I asked Will. Francie gets squeamish." She restated. "What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that I don't want Will's face to be the first male face my child sees!" He snapped.
Sydney's face softened and she dared to step closer, placing a hand on his arm. "Vaughn," she whispered, beckoning his eyes to meet hers. "You don't have to worry about that. I promise. This baby will never confuse Will as its Father. This baby will know that you are its Father, I promise."
"I know," he nodded; glad to hear the words from her mouth. "What about your Father?" He suggested gently. "Especially since you're in an SD-6 hospital, wouldn't it be safest to have your Father as your coach?"
She had never considered her Father, although it did make sense. Even if Francie weren't squeamish, having her Father by her side would only be right. That way the first male face her child sees would be it's only Grandfather. Plus, having her Father there could only help their relationship and hopefully help foster a good relationship between the future child and it's Grandfather. Especially if her Father was going to help her with childcare as he promised.
"Think about it." Vaughn smiled.
"I will. Are you okay with this?"
"In time I will be," he nodded. This wasn't an easy transition. Becoming a Father never was, especially if you can only see the Mother of your child in dark warehouses under the guise of giving her nonexistent counter missions. Looking at her, he thought of a million things he wanted to say and nothing seemed appropriate. Certain things needed to be held back until it was safe, until the time was right for things to be said and shared.
"I should go. I was going to rest for a little while."
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine, I can handle everything." She promised. Vaughn smiled and nodded as she reached out to briefly squeeze his hand before walking out of the warehouse.
Sydney went Christmas shopping with Jennie and Francie that weekend. She had already been invited to the Sloane house for Christmas Eve and was unable to refuse Emily's sweet invitation. The mall was a madhouse, full of teenagers and people Christmas shopping. Her eyes were drawn to strollers carrying newborns and toddlers, preschoolers who scampered after their parents and begged for toys. The three women snuck into the various baby stores, studying the tiny little outfits, shoes and various baby accessories that were out there. There were so many things to buy, so many things to choose from. On that particular day, however, she found her eyes drawn back to a tiny L.A. Kings onesie with thoughts of one day.
The obstetrician's office didn't open until nine in the morning. Sydney had scheduled the earliest appointment, eager to get a glimpse at her baby. Francie had thought ahead and snuck a blank tape into her tote bag with a note to ask the sonographer to tape the ultrasound so they could all see it. The idea was ingenious and she made a mental note to thank her best friend for being so wonderful.
She flipped through parenting magazines as she anxiously waited to be called in. The waiting room was once again full of couples, not single Mothers, and she felt incredibly alone. Nothing about life was fair, a bitter lesson that she had begun to learn at a young age. There was certainly nothing in her life that was fair. Finally, twenty minutes after she arrived, she was ushered in to a room.
They sat going through the necessary humdrum at the beginning of her appointment. She was surprised to find out she had only gained twelve pounds. Her stomach was swollen and she was unable to hide the life growing inside of her. She had been so certain she had gained more then that. Her doctor promised she and the baby were fine, she was the right size and her baby's heartbeat was fine.
After being handed a paper gown and slippers, she was led into a back room with a sonography and a sonogram machine. Carefully she lay down and held her breath as the sonographer placed a cool jelly on her rounded belly. "How have you been feeling?" Her doctor asked with a kind smile.
"Pretty good. I just keep waiting to wake up one morning and feel horrible, but so far it hasn't happened. I still really like Twinkies." She admitted as her doctor laughed.
"Your on desk duty at work?"
"Yes, completely. It's nearly mind numbing," she confessed.
"You'll be back on your feet and busy way too soon. Enjoy the time while you have it," she advised. "You've been avoiding stress?"
"The best I can," she smiled. That was impossible as a double agent, even a double agent on desk duty, but she had been resting as much as possible.
"I saw you signed up for childbirth classes. Pretty soon it'll be the final count down."
"Yeah, I can't believe how real it all is. I'm hoping my Dad will be my labor coach."
"That would be nice," the doctor agreed. "Ready to see your baby?"
"Yes," her grin so wide it nearly broke her face. The doctor gently pressed the machine down on her stomach. Within seconds the familiar thumpthumpthump of her baby's rapid heartbeat danced through the room. She smiled and watched as a grainy image popped up on the massive machine. "That's my baby," she whispered in awe.
"That's the baby," the doctor agreed. "There's the head," she pointed to the screen. "Those are the legs . . . Looks like it's a thumb sucker," she suggested as Sydney's eyes filled with tears of joy. "Would you like to know what you're having?"
"No, no thank you, I want to be surprised."
"The baby's heartbeat is nice and strong. Looks like the baby doesn't want to stay still either," she commented as the baby's image danced on the screen and she felt the movement inside of her. "Would you like some pictures too?"
"Yes, that would be wonderful," she agreed. The doctor nodded and went to get some pictures printed out. Sydney laid on her back, staring in fascination at the grainy image that moved on the screen. That was her child, and in a few short months it would be out in the world, it's own human being. Her hand wandered down to her stomach, resting it over the gentle swell. Boy or girl didn't matter, it was apparently healthy and it was her job to insure that it was happy too.
"Here you go," the doctor smiled as she walked in. The doctor wiped the gel off of her stomach and helped her sit up.
"Thank you," she smiled when she was handed the glossy black and white images of her child.
"When you leave, make an appointment with the receptionist. We're going to want to do a glucose test in about a month and a half to see if you have gestational diabetes."
"Okay," she nodded. "Thank you so much."
"Your welcome Ms. Bristow, and congratulations." She commented, handing her the videotape out of the machine. "Remember to take it easy."
"I'll try."
"And have a nice Christmas!"
"You too!" Sydney called over her shoulder, smiling and waving as she walked out of the exam room.
Author: UConn Fan (Michele)
E-Mail: LoveUConnBasketball@yahoo.com
Authors Note:
My life is sad - I'm watching a Yankees-Braves 1996 World Series Game on ESPN Classic. Good news is that UConn season starts November 23rd! Yay! :)
Thank you SOO much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I love you all **So** much. I would love to respond to you personally, but right now I only have internet @ my Dads, and I'm only there twice a week (at best) so it's kind of hard to do. Please don't think I don't appreciate it. Whoever said they were adding this story to their favorite stories list, THANK YOU SOO MUCH! lol, I spent all of last Saturday SOOO excited about that, I told my Mom, Dad & sister, I was soo excited :) Everyone's kind words mean so much to me.
Also (if anyone cares) any guesses on what Syd's having and a name? The clock is ticking now. I'm trying not to skip over significant periods of time while also not dragging my heels too long at one stage in the story/pregnancy. If anyone has any comments on whether I'm going to fast/slow, feel free to leave me a comment. Plus, let me add that I already know what Syd's having AND I'm cemented on a first name. My sister and I are debating middle names, we're not quite in agreement yet, but we've got time (my poor little sister's sick, keep her in your prayers!) But I'm open to suggestions on names, especially if I can tie them in with the middle name. I think my first name is SOO original - I swear, if anyone takes it in a story before I get to post the birth, I will be SOO bummed. Hopefully I can churn this baby out quick enough that I keep my name idea my own :)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, The Little Mermaid, Star Wars,the Lakers, Kobe Bryant, The Kings and certainly not any Alias-related character, place, etc. I'm having fun, please don't sue.
PLEASE NOTE: This was written PRIOR to MANY MANY MANY late season 1 episodes. Sydney's Mother has not been found. Will is still oblivious to Syd's true occupation. Charlie isn't a creep (obviously, they're married). I mention Emily still being alive. It's all pretty obvious. Please don't hold the timeline against me. I had no idea of all the twists and turns JJ was going to make. Please just enjoy the story as it, and please please PLEASE give me feedback! :) I just LOVE everyone that has!
Also, I've never had a baby, and at the rate my body works, I probably never will. I do know that ultrasounds take place *usual* in a healthy pregnancy during the 20th week. I've read various places about different points in the pregnancy to take childbirth classes, so just go with it, okay? :)
Okay, finally, here's the story! (Please read & respond :))
A Wednesday evening meeting at SD-6 was filled with Sloane telling her and Dixon was patriots they were and how wonderfully they served their country.
The half hour long meeting caused Sydney's nausea to return.
For their accomplishments, Sloane awarded them the rest of the week off. After all, in his words they had helped secure their beloved countries safety and security. They should be proud of themselves. Sydney was proud of herself, although more for successfully betraying Sloane then having helped advance his interests. Helping a snake like Sloane was the absolute last thing she wanted to do ever again.
Sydney spent most of Thursday sleeping. There was too much, good and bad, racing in her head. Soon enough not all the make up or clothes in the world would be able to hide her pregnancy. That weekend she had promised Francie they'd go shopping for maternity clothes, a promise she knew she'd have to keep. Now that Francie was married with the restaurant, they never seemed to have enough time together. With her baby's birth just a few months away their time to hang out together would soon enough be cut even more short. She knew Francie would help her with as much as she could, and she didn't doubt her friends' word, but helping her with a baby wouldn't be the same as the two of them having fun together.
Friday morning she went for a run, taking in the cool early November air. Houses and public buildings were preparing for Thanksgiving and soon enough it would be Christmas. A look at her watch reminded her that Vaughn's birthday was only three weeks away. Yet another significant thing she wouldn't be able to celebrate with him. In her heart and dreams she hoped that at that time next year things would be different. Maybe she'd be teaching. Maybe she'd take some time off. The most important thing was that she dreamed of having a normal life, of being happy with her child and Vaughn. If she were lucky, perhaps her Dad would be a significant part in her life. Nothing would make her happier.
In the park she saw young parents walking babies or playing with toddlers. There were even a few grandparents out with their children and grandchildren. Normalcy was something so many people took for granted. People like Francie and Charlie, Will and Jennie . . . They took it for granted that they'd wake up every morning next to the person they loved. They had the freedom to be with whomever they loved. They were free to have children without fear that the child would become a pawn.
Sydney knew in a perverse way she enjoyed being a spy. The fundamentals of espionage were in her blood. Both of her parents were spies and she could only imagine how far back it went in her Mother's family. She would gladly drain it from her system to allow her the possibility of being normal. Being normal with Vaughn wouldn't be like it would have been with Danny. No matter how much she loved Danny - and she had full heartedly loved him - it would have been a ruse. Vaughn would never ask her Father's permission to marry her like Danny had, even though the gesture would have been more significant now then it was then. Jack Bristow, she hoped, respected Vaughn enough to approve of his relationship with his daughter - once, of course, SD-6 was no longer in existence.
She paused to rest at a bench and caught her Father walking towards her. She blinked a few times to make certain who it was while he sat down next to her. "Is running safe in your condition?"
"I'm fine," she smiled as she took a deep breath. "Helps me clear my mind."
"You did good in New York."
"Thanks," she smiled. "Sometime in February or March can I get into the storage facility and get some things for the nursery?"
"Of course. Will you need help moving things?"
"Sure," she agreed, happy he had offered. "Charlie and Will are going to help too."
"Francie and Charlie's Halloween party was very nice."
"Yes, they said it was great." She nodded. "Francie and I are going shopping this weekend."
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm okay." She insisted with a smile. She stood and stretched for a second before she looked back at him. "I'll see you later." Her Father simply nodded and she went back to her jogging.
The next afternoon Francie and Sydney went baby/maternity shopping for the first time. She was nearly sixteen weeks and while she thought she was showing, everyone else thought she was insane. Although Francie insisted she didn't want any children yet and when she did she only wanted one, she had an excellent time shopping. They kept to their agreement and only bought maternity items, even though both were tempted when they stopped to look at baby clothes and other tiny infant items.
Saturday night was spent alone. Her eyes kept wandering over to the phone and her fingers itched to call Vaughn. Instead she laid on her couch, looking over Our Lady of Mercy's pamphlet on childbirth classes and tours of the hospital. Her pregnancy still had a long ways to go, but there was so much to do and prepare for. The worse part was the sense of dread in her blood, knowing Vaughn couldn't be a part of any of it.
Since she wanted to see him so badly, it only made sense that Sydney didn't get to see Vaughn again until the following Wednesday. Sloane had sent Dixon on a solo mission to Tokyo for the duration of the week to obtain information on Rimbaldi. With the possibility of the destruction of SD-6 so close at hand, Sydney knew that the Rimbaldi artifact had taken the back burner. That had meant there was no counter mission, leaving her to wonder why he had called her to the warehouse Wednesday night.
"Hi," she greeted with a smile as she walked in.
"Hey," he smiled, his grin silly as he looked at her. "Are those clothes new?" He asked.
Sydney felt her cheeks turn red as she looked down at her outfit. The November night was as chilly as it ever became in California, and she had grabbed a large denim jacket to toss over her corduroy overalls and black-shirt. She had bought all of it the weekend before, and since her original plans had included stopping at the restaurant, she thought it would be nice to wear the clothes she and Francie had just bought. "Yeah. Maternity clothes." She confessed.
"Well . . They're nice." He complimented as they smiled at one another. "Cavilerri's finally talking."
"That's great. We're one step closer to the take down. I'm just sorry I couldn't go get the Rimbaldi information."
"Don't worry about it, Rimbaldi's the least of the CIA's concerns. If the FBI worries about it that much, they can use their own resources, right now we're busy with the Alliance."
"Is that why you called me?"
"No . . I called you because I was worried." He admitted, unable to meet her gaze. "I haven't had the chance to see you in awhile . . I know it's dangerous and against protocol, but I just needed - "
"I'm glad you called." She stopped him with her words and her smile. "I've . . Missed you." She muttered softly, just loud enough for him to hear her and smile. "How's Charlotte doing?"
"She's fine. Feeling much better now." Vaughn explained. "I'm sorry about Halloween . . And Maya. I didn't even consider the possibility of ending up at your house."
"Maya is very cute." She commented as he nodded.
"She looks a lot like my sister."
Sydney smiled; trying to imagine what Maya would look like as an adult. Her mind created a picture of a tall woman with features similar to Vaughn's.
"How did the Halloween party go at Francie and Charlie's restaurant?"
"Very well, but it always does well," she smiled as he nodded. "I should go," she realized regretfully. Vaughn understood with a nod.
"Take care," he spoke softly. She smiled and nodded as she turned and walked out of the warehouse.
There was plenty to keep her busy of the next couple of days, both in and outside of the Credit Dauphine building. Francie realized that Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away as Sydney realized that Vaughn's birthday fell on Thanksgiving that year. The restaurant was historically deserted on Thanksgiving Day. With that in mind, Syd suggested that Will, Jennie, Francie and Charlie come over and celebrate with her. Not only would that give her the privilege of having her friends around her on the special day, but it also meant that someone else would be doing the cooking.
The second Monday of November marked the sixteenth week or fourth month of her pregnancy. Will left that morning for a journalist's convention in Sacramento. The week was remarkably quiet, with Will gone and Francie and Charlie busy with the restaurant. Francie managed to come over a few nights that week. They'd sit around watching television and debating names that Francie found in a book of baby names she had bought. Her best friend enthusiastically made suggestions, with names ranging from Brittany ("Francie, are you serious? Brittany Bristow?" She pointed out as Francie had wrinkled her nose in disgust) to Anaken ("Anaken? There's no way that's in there!" She protested. "It is, it's right here!" Francie insisted. "I'm not giving birth to a Star Wars character.") To Sebastian ("This is a baby, not a red lobster from a Disney movie," had been Sydney's response) to Sabrina ("When she grows up, she'll be a teenage witch?" Sydney asked her best friend dryly). By the end of the week she was still left with a list of names she disliked that was longer then the list of names she liked.
With SD-6 taking her health in to consideration, Sloane sent her on fewer missions. As a result, she had significantly less work-related reason to meet with Vaughn. It also affected how much Intel the CIA was getting, although her Father was still in Sloane's good graces. According to her Father, the CIA was making huge progress in destroying the Alliance and SD-6 without her help. She was glad that the CIA was making progress that would allow her freedom, but she couldn't help but wonder if she was needed at all. If she wasn't needed to help take down SD-6, what was her purpose, to help the enemy by pushing papers?
"The work you've done - and will continue to do - is extremely vital to what we're doing." Vaughn strongly reminded her as he sat across from her in the warehouse. She had called him there on the third Tuesday of the month in a hormonal phase of self-doubt. Having spent most of her recent days sitting in meetings and filling out paperwork at her SD-6 desk, she had grown despondent and depressed. At seventeen weeks she hadn't even felt the baby move yet and was frustrated that all of her second trimester energy was going to waste while she sat at a desk.
"I'm sick of doing absolutely nothing!"
"You're doing something Sydney, you're growing a child." He gently pointed out.
"Yes, I'm growing a child, and by not working to take down SD-6, I'm not doing a damn thing to insure that this baby will be able to live a safe, happy life."
"What do you think I'm doing?" He questioned in a low baritone. "Working to take down the Alliance is the only thing I can do for the both of you. Trust me, trust that I'm doing everything I can to insure that you and the baby *will* have a safe, happy future."
While her mind had been working overtime, flooded with thoughts and ideas as she sat at her desk in boredom, she had never considered it from that angle. Her trust in him was not to be questioned, she trusted him with everything vital in her life. He was the only person in her life who listened and supported her without question. Even the vast shadow of the CIA and its protocol hanging over them, he supported her because of who he was and not because of his job description.
"I'm sorry," she shook her head and smiled at him. "You know I trust you. I just *hate* that I can't do anything."
"Syd, you've already done so much. We wouldn't have the Bible or the disks in our possession. If we didn't have the Bible, we certainly wouldn't have Cavilerri in custody," he reminded her. "Just because you need to stop now doesn't mean that your work has gone unnoticed or no longer matters. What you have done is *essential*, and will not be forgotten by anyone at the CIA anytime soon. I promise you that."
"I hate waiting."
"I know," he nodded. "What are you going to do for Thanksgiving?"
"Francie, Charlie, Will and Jennie are coming over," she explained. "I was thinking of inviting my Dad too."
"Good," he commented.
"Thanksgiving is your birthday, isn't it?" She casually asked, although she was already aware that it was his birthday.
"Yeah, it is." He nodded, a hint of a smile on his face. "I'm going to my Mother's house. Charlotte, Patrick and Maya should be there."
"That's nice." She smiled. He looked at her and nodded, a trace of sadness on his face. There was no point in hiding the longing they both felt to spend the holiday with one another. In his dreams, Vaughn would walk in to his Mother's house with Sydney by his side, introducing her to his immediate family and joyously announcing their upcoming arrival. The real world, however, would see him with his Mother, sister and brother in law and she with her friends, a short geographical distance apart but it might as well be a million worlds away.
"I hope that your Father accepts your invitation."
"Yeah, me too." She nodded. "I should get going. I'm supposed to pick Will up at the airport. He's getting back from his journalist convention."
Vaughn nodded, working to contain the jealousy he felt towards a man he had never even met. An insane jealousy, given the fact that he was the one with the girl and not Will, but he wanted nothing more then to share the simple, normal things that Will was able to share with Sydney. No matter what he felt towards Sydney, or her towards him, he was still very much an outsider on her life, his nose pressed up against the window and his wide eyes carefully looking in.
Sydney flashed him a full smile, her dimples visible before she walked past him. He was unable to stop himself from looking over his shoulder and watching her walk out of the warehouse, and once again out of his life.
Friday came, and with it the unofficial countdown to the beginning of the holiday season. She sat at her desk, completing even more mind-numbing SD-6 paperwork, when her Father walked by. "Dad?"
Jack stopped and looked at his only daughter. "Yes, Sydney?"
"Do you have a minute?" She asked softly. Without hesitation he nodded and led her into the empty conference room. He pulled out his pen and reminded her that they had three minutes. "I was wondering if you were doing anything for Thanksgiving."
"No, I have no plans," he blankly responded.
"Well . . Francie and Charlie are coming over, and Will's coming with his new girlfriend . . .Would you like to come?" She questioned, struggling to keep a neutral expression.
Her Father took only a few seconds of deliberation to respond. "Yes, that would be fine."
"Okay. You could come over at about four, we'll eat a little bit after that." She suggested with a smile. This was the first Thanksgiving since her childhood that they would spend together, and the first one in her adult life that they would choose to spend together.
"I'll be there," he nodded and stood up. Sydney watched as he walked out of the room.
Sydney spent the majority of her weekend with Francie. Charlie and Will managed the restaurant while they went shopping to prepare for Thanksgiving. There was a menu to prepare and recipes to find. Jennie had already agreed to bring dessert for her new friends, meaning one less thing to buy and prepare. Francie's one attempt at cooking a turkey, on the Thanksgiving that Charlie proposed, had been disastrous. Needless to say Sydney agreed that she would make the turkey and stuffing and her friend could cook all of the side dishes.
The last week of November was a short week at SD-6. Sloane was leaving Tuesday night with Emily, who had decided it would be a nice idea to spend Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachusetts. Since her remission, she had been suggesting they travel and see more, taking advantage of the time she had been given. She was even trying to convince Sydney to allow her to throw her a baby shower, thrilled at Sydney's upcoming arrival. While Sloane's implications that she was like a daughter to him made her skin crawl, Sydney smiled at Emily's maternal instinct towards her. Laura Bristow was dead, and Irina Derevko was the enemy. Emily Sloane, regardless of her choice in spouse, was the best and closest thing she had to a mother.
Francie arrived late Wednesday night to start preparing for the next big day. Sydney hadn't seen Vaughn all week and fought the urge to call him. There would be the proper place and time to wish him a happy birthday, and it wasn't when he was spending time with his family. She had her own plans to look forward to, including her first real holiday with her Father. Starting that night, Francie kept her too busy in the kitchen to consider her Father or Vaughn, or even the destruction of the Alliance. Instead she focused on making candied potatoes and mashed potatoes from scratch. There was stuffing to be made and muffins to be baked. She had to live the life she had instead of focusing on the life she so desperately wanted.
Will and Jennie arrived late Thursday morning. Charlie and Will parked themselves in the living room watching the various Thanksgiving Day football games. Francie and Sydney had been up early watching the Thanksgiving Day parade before returning to work in the kitchen. The day was filled with a lot of rushing to prepare meals before they had to sit down and wait for everything to be done cooking.
"Syd, what's wrong?" Will asked, nudging her with his foot. She looked up in surprise. Her Father would be there soon, but instead of being worried about having him there, she was far too preoccupied with what she was missing.
"Nothings wrong." She insisted with an attempt at a smile.
"You're not nervous about your Dad, are you?" Francie asked sympathetically. "It's going to be fine Syd, I'm really glad he's coming."
"Me too," she sincerely replied. No matter how thrilled she was at her Father's presence, her mind kept wandering back to who wasn't there. That was Vaughn's birthday, and he was somewhere without her. With her pregnancy and their baby's life growing more everyday inside of her, it only seemed right that he should be there with her. Under any other circumstances, and he would have been in a heartbeat.
A short time later Francie went to start set the table and brought the side dishes out. The doorbell rang only seconds later, announcing Jack Bristow's arrival. Sydney stood and straightened the wrinkles out of her black maternity jacket. She opened the door and smiled at her Father, instantly relieved that he was there.
"Hi," she moved out of the way to let him in.
"Hi," he greeted, carrying a bottle of wine.
"Hey Mr. Bristow," Will greeted, standing to shake the man's hand.
"Mr. Tippin," Jack greeted. Will then introduced Jack to Jennie and Charlie reintroduced himself before he offered to take Jack's coat.
"I know you can't drink it, but I bought wine."
"Thanks Dad," Sydney smiled and took the bottle. Before she could walk into the kitchen, Francie walked out to announce that dinner was ready. She took the wine from Sydney and directed everyone to go wait in the dining room, refusing all offers Sydney made to help.
Jack carved the turkey and everyone sat down to dish out his or her sides. The dining room was quickly filled with the scent of good food and the sound of laughter. Will related a few anecdotes from his recent trip to Sacramento while Francie shared the horrors that came with the inner workings of a restaurant. Eventually, just as it always did those days, by dessert the topic of conversation turned towards Sydney's upcoming arrival.
"At least work isn't sending you on as many business trips." Francie commented.
"Yeah, although I never realized how boring it is to just sit at a desk and do paperwork." Sydney responded.
"Hey, have you felt the baby move yet?" Jennie asked with a smile, fascinated by her new friend's pregnancy.
"Not yet. I'm eighteen weeks, so I feel like I should have by now."
"What does the doctor say?" Jack said with paternal concern in his eyes. She knew her Father's first thoughts went to the possibility that Sloane had done something to harm the baby
"That as long as I feel movement by the twentieth week, it's fine. Since this is my first pregnancy, I might not recognize the baby moving even if I do feel it."
"I think it's a boy," Will reminded them as he took a huge bite of his pie.
"You just want it to be a boy. There's no way you have any intuition about it whatsoever." Sydney protested with a smile.
"What do you think she's having, Mr. Bristow?" Francie asked.
Jack glanced sideways at Sydney. "As long as I have a healthy grandchild, I have no preference."
"I really hope it's a girl so you can name it Laura." Francie commented. Both Jack and Sydney looked briefly at her and then exchanged glances. While they were still rebuilding their relationship, he knew that his daughter would not name her daughter Laura for a myriad of legitimate reasons.
"I like Alexandra, it means protector of mankind." Jennie suggested cheerfully. She smiled at the suggestion but knew it wasn't going to happen. No matter how nice the meaning of the name, Alexandra was far too close to the name Alexander Khasinau for her to use the name on any child of hers.
"William Bristow," Will mumbled.
"No!" Francie, Jennie and Sydney all protested in unison. Jack and Charlie laughed as Will's cheeks turned red.
"I can't until Christmas is done and you let me start getting the nursery ready. I can't wait to see all of your families old baby pieces," Francie smiled.
Sydney grinned, "calm down. I have the rest of the pregnancy to go, there's plenty of time for you to finish the nursery."
"Mr. Bristow, will you be helping us move furniture?" Will asked.
"Yes, of course. I'll be there."
"Syd, have you signed up for childbirth classes yet? You should probably start them soon." Charlie reminded her.
"I'm going to sign up next week." She smiled.
"Francie, will you be Sydney's coach?" Jack asked as she wrinkled her nose.
"Oh no Mr. Bristow, I would be a horrible coach. Sydney needs someone who can help her, not someone who will pass out at the first sign of body fluids!" She insisted as they all laugh.
"I'm planning on being there in the room with Syd." Will spoke up. Jack nodded and glanced at his daughter, wondering if she had informed Agent Vaughn of her plans.
"You still look really good Syd, I'm so jealous. I hope when I'm pregnant I look half as good as you do." Francie complimented.
"You're being silly. I'm only eighteen weeks. Soon enough my belly button will pop and my ankles will be swollen," she insisted.
"I'll go with you to sign up for classes if you want," Francie offered. "Just not until next week. We're going away tomorrow."
"You are?" Sydney asked in surprise.
"Yeah," Charlie grinned. "It was sort of a surprise. We're going to Arizona for a long weekend."
"That's really sweet," she smiled as everyone agreed. "Are you two doing anything?" She asked, directing her question at Jennie and Will.
"We both have to do some work, but we'll probably hang out at my place. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" Jennie asked in concern.
"I'll be fine," she insisted with a smile. Deep down she wanted to tell them that she had plans of her own, but she knew she couldn't.
"Jennie, this pie was delicious." Charlie complimented.
"It was. Anyone want seconds?" Sydney offered, grinning as she stood up.
They sat talking and eating pie long into the night. Sydney watched, as her Father seemed to slightly relax as the evening progressed. At some points he was just as involved in the conversation as she was. Her Father sat talking to Charlie and Will about the Lakers. Jack insisted that Kobe Bryant was overrated, which led to Francie joining the conversation to defend her beloved basketball player. Sydney was surprised at how, for a brief time, her Father seemed normal. Apparently he watched basketball and read the newspaper and lived a life just like any other Father in the world. More then that, despite his initial protests, he was an eager Grandfather-to-be. Most of all that realization warmed her heart and made her smile.
"I really think tonight was a success." Francie smiled warmly. Jack and Jennie had left and Will and Charlie watched football in the living room. Syd was in the kitchen with Francie, wrapping up the leftovers and cleaning up from the mess. "Your Dad seems to be warming up to the idea of being a Grandfather."
"Yeah, he is." She agreed. "He wasn't really happy in the beginning. He was worried about me not being married . . About how my boss would react if he found out who the Father is . ."
"Does your Dad know the baby's Father?"
"Yes, he does. I haven't come out and told my Dad who the Father is, but I know he knows."
"Does he like him?"
"Does my Dad like the baby's Father or does the baby's Father like my Dad?" She asked, confused with the question.
"Both."
"The baby's Father . . . He doesn't always agree with my Father, but he respects him. I don't think he'd ever admit it, but he admires my Father. Sometimes I think it's impossible not to admire my Father in some way." She pointed out with a shrug. "My Dad . . . I don't think I'm ever going to find a man that my Father will ever completely approve of, but I really do believe that Dad likes him. Even if he refuses to admit it."
Francie laughed. "My Dad took awhile to warm up to Charlie, but now I think he likes Charlie more then me!"
"I guess Fathers never stop seeing us as the five year old girls who adored them." She suggested in a low voice with a soft smile.
"Yeah," Francie agreed. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Nothing, why?" She asked, alarmed that her friend had sensed something.
"I think you've got a little secret rendezvous with your mystery man that you don't want Will or your Dad to know about." She whispered with a grin. "I think it's wonderful too. I really can't wait to meet the guy."
"I hope you get to meet him one day Francie, he would love to meet you."
"He knows about me?"
"Of course he knows about you!" Sydney insisted.
"I'm so jealous of you, you know that, you are barely even showing." She commented again. Sydney shook her head and looked down at her stomach. She was wearing a black dress with a matching black blazer. Black was by far her best and most thinning color.
"I can't even fit into my regular clothes anymore. I'm starting to show and I'm starting to gain weight."
"It's totally normal. Your body is so unfair Syd, seriously, you'll probably give birth and be your normal weight the next day." She playfully teased.
"We'll see about that. Just promise me you'll be there as soon as I'm done giving birth."
"I promise, once all the blood and body fluids are gone, Charlie and I will be there with bells on."
Sydney smiled and hugged her. "Thanks Francie."
"Your welcome Syd," she smiled and pulled back. "Have fun tomorrow, promise me, no matter what your doing. Don't go to the bank."
"I'll stay very far away from the bank and work, I promise."
Sydney lay wrapped up in the warm bed. A tiny voice in the back of her mind kept reminding her why she shouldn't be there and why instead she should be a hundred miles away at home. She needed this though, for her heart and her soul, she needed a few stolen hours. It was Thanksgiving weekend, and with Sloane away and her Father temporarily in control of SD-6, this was her best and probably last chance to do this before the baby was born.
The bed dipped down with his weight as he slipped in to the bed behind her, snuggly wrapping his arms around her. His breath was warm on her cheek when he rested his chin on her shoulder and nestled her close to him. "You're worried," he whispered and brushed a kiss across her ear.
"I'm always worried. Aren't you?" She glanced over her shoulder and briefly met his lips.
"Right now, here with you, I try not to." He explained as she smiled at him.
"I feel safe here with you, if that's what you're worried about."
Silently he held her tighter and she felt him nod against her shoulder. Her eyes slipped shut and she allowed her breathing to slow down as she relaxed. "I wish it didn't have to be like this," he whispered.
Slowly she opened her eyes and wrapped her arms over his. "So do I."
"At least I'm here, celebrating my birthday with you." He pointed out. Her head shook and she looked back at him.
"Today's not your birthday."
His green eyes closely studied her for a second before he dropped a kiss to her bare shoulder. "Let's just pretend it is."
"How long can we keep pretending?"
"As long as it takes." He whispered. She lay still as his body moved so that he was looking down at her, meeting her eyes. "Syd . . This . . Us. What we have here isn't pretending." He reminded her gently.
She looked up at him, her brown eyes full of trust as she nodded. "I know," she agreed as their lips met for a few seconds of safekeeping.
They separated and he pulled her back into his arms. Sydney peacefully laid there, enjoying the brief time where she could be happy, comfortable and at peace. She was only seconds away from caving in to sleep when her eyes shot open. "Syd? Syd, what is it?"
Without speaking she took his hands and placed them on her slightly curved stomach. "I think I felt the baby move." She whispered.
"Really? For the first time?" He was unable to hide his smile when she nodded.
"Yeah, I think so," she glanced back at him and smiled. "Whoa, I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to feel the baby move."
His warm chuckle soothed her spirit. "Don't worry, if the baby is anything like it's Father, it'll be playing hockey in there before this is all over with."
"I'm having a single baby, not the entire Kings starting line up." She dryly pointed out.
"I know," he laughed. "How much longer until the ultrasound?"
"Seventeen days," she informed him and squeezed his hand. If there were any way to have him safely at the ultrasound, she would do it in a heartbeat. There was no way though, not without risking severe harm to him or their child, and she refused to compromise them. They were far too ingrained in her future post-SD-6 plans to even gamble the chance. They were going to be her future, and she needed to see to it that they were safe. In turn, she and the baby were his future and he took every step to insure their safety.
"Are you going to ask what is it?"
"Nope, I want to be surprised," she grinned as he smiled.
"Surprises are good. What do you think it is?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I really just want to be surprised."
"Me too." He agreed. "Just as long as it isn't an Arvin," he pointed out and kissed her cheek.
"No Arvin's," she vowed as she cuddled closer to him. "I decided on a theme for the nursery."
"Yes?"
"Teddy Bears. It was the same theme my nursery had."
He smiled, "I like that."
"Me too. Francie was thrilled when I told her." She grinned at the memory.
"Do you remember that teddy bear I gave you last Christmas?" He questioned as she nodded with an odd glance in his direction. "The obviously aged one?"
"Yes, I remember. I had a very difficult time explaining where I got it."
His arms grew tighter before he continued. "My Grandparents were wonderful people. Very wonderful people. My Grandmother would let me get away with anything growing up . . . " He smiled at the memory. "They loved one another very much. My parents loved one another very much too, but it was different. They went through a lot in their marriage. It took them seven years to conceive my Mother, and my Grandmother almost died having her . . . My Grandfather would do anything for my Mother or Grandmother . . . They were married for about fifty years before my Grandmother died of colon cancer. They loved one another very, very much. My Mother used to tell Charlotte and I that if we ever wanted to see what love looked like, we should just look at a picture of our Grandparents together. You could actually see the love between them, it was amazing."
Sydney looked at him, a small smile on her confused features. "What does that have to do with the bear?"
"That teddy bear was the very first thing my Grandfather ever gave my Grandmother. When we were cleaning their home after my Grandfather's death, my Mother gave it to me. Both she and Charlotte loved that bear, and it was obvious they both would have taken it, but she gave it to me."
"Why?" She asked quietly, now fully confused.
"It's become a symbol in my family, an heirloom. My Grandparents are the type of couple that Charlotte tells Maya about in fairy tales. My Mother gave me the bear because she wanted me to save it and give it to the woman I intended to bring into our family."
"Thank you," she whispered, moving in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. "That's beautiful."
"I wanted you to have it, you don't need to thank me." He whispered back, kissing the shell of her ear.
She smiled and looked up at him, deciding to change the subject to something more light-hearted. "What do you think of the name Emily?"
"After Emily Sloane?"
Sydney glanced up at him, "yes, but she's a wonderful woman."
"Yes, I'm sure she's a wonderful woman. It's a nice name. Just very common nowadays."
"Why? You don't like common names?" She asked, sitting up and pulling the sheet with her.
"No, Syd, of course not, common names are fine." He sat up and sighed. Times such as that, when they could really be together, were so rare that he didn't want to disturb their created sanctuary by starting an argument. "I grew up with a common name though, and it can really be a pain in the ass to always be referred to be your name and last initial."
"Oh," she thoughtfully declared. "I hadn't thought of it that way."
"It's okay," he smiled and kissed her shoulder. "There's plenty of time Syd, I'm sure whatever name you pick out I'll like."
She nodded and watched as he slipped out of bed. "I should go shower."
"Okay," she said with a small smile, her eyes on him until he was out of sight.
She stayed there, laying in his arms and feeling their baby's first movements, until the earliest hours on Saturday morning. The streetlights were still on when she pulled out of the parking lot and started the two-hour drive home. He had been half awake when she kissed him and snuck out, knowing it wasn't safe to risk staying any longer. Even with aliases and havens hours from home didn't make things completely safe. It had broken her heart to leave him there, not daring to leave him a note on the slight chance it fell into the wrong hands. Now she had to return to Los Angeles, to her life as Sydney Bristow, super spy and future solo mommy.
There was something beautiful and poignant about seeing the California sunrise while one drove on the Pacific Highway heading home. Her thoughts danced over her uncertain future. So much was unknown, would the Alliance really face destruction, would she ever have the normalcy she craved. Life could be so bitterly unfair. A decade ago she had had no idea what she was getting in to, what a life altering decision it would be to call the number on that crisp, white business card. She had been insane, believing she fit a profile. What profile is that, she wondered, the profile of your average daughter of two spies? How many of us can there possibly be, she thought questionably.
Now she was having her own child. Her greatest wish for her child was that it would be happy and raised as the child of two normal, loving parents. Gender was unimportant, her Father had been correct. In her line of work, in her life, the most essential thing was that the baby was healthy. Sydney was not going to be like her own Mother. She had her Father and Vaughn to insure that it never happened. There was no way she would ever willingly walk away from her own child or lie to the baby's Father. She might have half of Irina Derevko's blood running through her veins, but Sydney was not her Mother. Jack Bristow's influence was too strong for her to ever become that type of person, and Vaughn's belief and faith in her far too true to ever allow her character to falter.
Sydney remained busy the remainder of the weekend. She helped run the cash register at the restaurant Saturday and Sunday afternoons when Francie was short staffed. The rest of the time, she and Francie sat debating various drawings and colors for the nursery. All of her friends had been thrilled when she announced that she had experienced the first movement, now just waiting for the time when they could feel the baby moving too.
SD-6 kept her busy on Monday. She spent her morning in meetings about Rimbaldi, Jeter and Cavilerri, listening to Sloane go on about how the government's security was being compromised because of Jeter and Cavilerri. Afterwards she patiently sat in Marshall's office, watching as he showed off all of his new gadgets and ideas. He was sweet and entertaining. Plus, anything was better then doing more paperwork.
Sydney took the next day, the first Tuesday of December, off. At nineteen weeks she drove over to Our Lady of Mercy Hospital. There seemed to be hundreds of sheets of paperwork to fill out in order to register for childbirth classes and a tour of the maternity ward. Even though she was only filling out paperwork, she was relieved to be doing something productive, even if it wasn't at all related with destroying the Alliance.
In the early afternoon Sydney attempted to lie down for a nap before the phone rang and Joey's Pizza summoned her to the warehouse. She took a jog to the warehouse, allowing herself to exercise and enjoy the early winter air. Winter, Christmas and the New Year were just around the corner. More important in Sydney's mind, however, was that her ultrasound was a short six days away. Her first glimpse at the life she was soon to bring into the world.
Vaughn was waiting for her, going over files when she walked in. He looked up and his face flirted with a smile, allowing his dimples to show. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," she smiled. "I signed up for childbirth classes today."
"That's good. Our Lady of Mercy?" He asked as she nodded. Vaughn had anticipated that her labor would take place at an SD-6 hospital and knew it was impossible to stop it. "Did Francie go with you?"
"No. Actually, Will's going to be my coach."
His eyes widened and he was obviously displeased with the news. "Will? Why Will?"
"Because I asked Will." She shrugged, not seeing why this meant so much to him.
"Damn it Sydney, I don't want him as your coach!" He snapped. Sydney's eyes widened and she stepped back slightly.
"That sounds suspiciously like an order." She pointed out in a low voice.
"Your right, it is." He agreed, not lowering his voice. "It's my baby too and I *don't* want Will to be your coach!"
"Damn it, I'm the one who's going to be in labor!" She reminded him loudly. "It's not as though you can be there!"
His face darkened at her words. "Don't you think I know that? That I don't sit at night agonizing over the fact that you're going to bring my child into the world and I can't even be within a fifty mile radius when it happens?" He reminded her. His eyes closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sydney silently watched as he took a few seconds to pace and regain his composure. Turning back towards her, he spoke gently. "Can't you just ask Francie?"
"No, I asked Will. Francie gets squeamish." She restated. "What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that I don't want Will's face to be the first male face my child sees!" He snapped.
Sydney's face softened and she dared to step closer, placing a hand on his arm. "Vaughn," she whispered, beckoning his eyes to meet hers. "You don't have to worry about that. I promise. This baby will never confuse Will as its Father. This baby will know that you are its Father, I promise."
"I know," he nodded; glad to hear the words from her mouth. "What about your Father?" He suggested gently. "Especially since you're in an SD-6 hospital, wouldn't it be safest to have your Father as your coach?"
She had never considered her Father, although it did make sense. Even if Francie weren't squeamish, having her Father by her side would only be right. That way the first male face her child sees would be it's only Grandfather. Plus, having her Father there could only help their relationship and hopefully help foster a good relationship between the future child and it's Grandfather. Especially if her Father was going to help her with childcare as he promised.
"Think about it." Vaughn smiled.
"I will. Are you okay with this?"
"In time I will be," he nodded. This wasn't an easy transition. Becoming a Father never was, especially if you can only see the Mother of your child in dark warehouses under the guise of giving her nonexistent counter missions. Looking at her, he thought of a million things he wanted to say and nothing seemed appropriate. Certain things needed to be held back until it was safe, until the time was right for things to be said and shared.
"I should go. I was going to rest for a little while."
"Do you need anything?"
"I'm fine, I can handle everything." She promised. Vaughn smiled and nodded as she reached out to briefly squeeze his hand before walking out of the warehouse.
Sydney went Christmas shopping with Jennie and Francie that weekend. She had already been invited to the Sloane house for Christmas Eve and was unable to refuse Emily's sweet invitation. The mall was a madhouse, full of teenagers and people Christmas shopping. Her eyes were drawn to strollers carrying newborns and toddlers, preschoolers who scampered after their parents and begged for toys. The three women snuck into the various baby stores, studying the tiny little outfits, shoes and various baby accessories that were out there. There were so many things to buy, so many things to choose from. On that particular day, however, she found her eyes drawn back to a tiny L.A. Kings onesie with thoughts of one day.
The obstetrician's office didn't open until nine in the morning. Sydney had scheduled the earliest appointment, eager to get a glimpse at her baby. Francie had thought ahead and snuck a blank tape into her tote bag with a note to ask the sonographer to tape the ultrasound so they could all see it. The idea was ingenious and she made a mental note to thank her best friend for being so wonderful.
She flipped through parenting magazines as she anxiously waited to be called in. The waiting room was once again full of couples, not single Mothers, and she felt incredibly alone. Nothing about life was fair, a bitter lesson that she had begun to learn at a young age. There was certainly nothing in her life that was fair. Finally, twenty minutes after she arrived, she was ushered in to a room.
They sat going through the necessary humdrum at the beginning of her appointment. She was surprised to find out she had only gained twelve pounds. Her stomach was swollen and she was unable to hide the life growing inside of her. She had been so certain she had gained more then that. Her doctor promised she and the baby were fine, she was the right size and her baby's heartbeat was fine.
After being handed a paper gown and slippers, she was led into a back room with a sonography and a sonogram machine. Carefully she lay down and held her breath as the sonographer placed a cool jelly on her rounded belly. "How have you been feeling?" Her doctor asked with a kind smile.
"Pretty good. I just keep waiting to wake up one morning and feel horrible, but so far it hasn't happened. I still really like Twinkies." She admitted as her doctor laughed.
"Your on desk duty at work?"
"Yes, completely. It's nearly mind numbing," she confessed.
"You'll be back on your feet and busy way too soon. Enjoy the time while you have it," she advised. "You've been avoiding stress?"
"The best I can," she smiled. That was impossible as a double agent, even a double agent on desk duty, but she had been resting as much as possible.
"I saw you signed up for childbirth classes. Pretty soon it'll be the final count down."
"Yeah, I can't believe how real it all is. I'm hoping my Dad will be my labor coach."
"That would be nice," the doctor agreed. "Ready to see your baby?"
"Yes," her grin so wide it nearly broke her face. The doctor gently pressed the machine down on her stomach. Within seconds the familiar thumpthumpthump of her baby's rapid heartbeat danced through the room. She smiled and watched as a grainy image popped up on the massive machine. "That's my baby," she whispered in awe.
"That's the baby," the doctor agreed. "There's the head," she pointed to the screen. "Those are the legs . . . Looks like it's a thumb sucker," she suggested as Sydney's eyes filled with tears of joy. "Would you like to know what you're having?"
"No, no thank you, I want to be surprised."
"The baby's heartbeat is nice and strong. Looks like the baby doesn't want to stay still either," she commented as the baby's image danced on the screen and she felt the movement inside of her. "Would you like some pictures too?"
"Yes, that would be wonderful," she agreed. The doctor nodded and went to get some pictures printed out. Sydney laid on her back, staring in fascination at the grainy image that moved on the screen. That was her child, and in a few short months it would be out in the world, it's own human being. Her hand wandered down to her stomach, resting it over the gentle swell. Boy or girl didn't matter, it was apparently healthy and it was her job to insure that it was happy too.
"Here you go," the doctor smiled as she walked in. The doctor wiped the gel off of her stomach and helped her sit up.
"Thank you," she smiled when she was handed the glossy black and white images of her child.
"When you leave, make an appointment with the receptionist. We're going to want to do a glucose test in about a month and a half to see if you have gestational diabetes."
"Okay," she nodded. "Thank you so much."
"Your welcome Ms. Bristow, and congratulations." She commented, handing her the videotape out of the machine. "Remember to take it easy."
"I'll try."
"And have a nice Christmas!"
"You too!" Sydney called over her shoulder, smiling and waving as she walked out of the exam room.