Chapter Four:
Were Running Out Of Time
"Your not really here," I say, closing my eyes. "Jeannie's fucking with me again."
"Stop bullshitting yourself boy. I'm really here. Look at me when I'm talking to you," my father ordered me.
"No," I shake my head.
"What'd you say?"
"I said no!"
He looked at me with hatred in his eyes, like I had never took my time to appreciate the things he'd done for me. What has he done for me? Nothing. My father never thought I was any good to him. Always thought I was useless. So he'd beat me to teach me a lesson. Even if I didn't do anything, just because he was drinking. Was I afraid of my father? Yes. He did disappear one night though and never came home. The cops said he could've been killed but mom and I didn't care. That asshole was gone for good.
For now at least. We were always in constant fear that he would return and we didn't have enough money to get a new home. He never did return though, and I was always worried he'd come back. Jeannie managed to surf around in the deepest parts of my memory and threw them right back at me. My father vanished and I was left alone in the morning sunset. My car still sounding of that annoying racket. I'll come back. I said, getting up and running to the subway.
It was still early when I came to Terry's house. I probably looked like shit, but I didn't care for my looks, all I cared about was her. I knocked on her door. No answer. I tried again. Still nothing. I reached for the knob, the door was unlocked. I hoped nothing had happened to her. It's not usual to keep your door unlocked this early in the morning. Especially in New York.
"Terry?" I spoke out. No answer. I'm not surprised. I have my gun out in front of me, checking her apartment. Everything seems in place, so I sit myself down in her chair, dozing off. I don't know how long I was out, but I heard the door creek open. There she was, seeming perfectly fine. Terry walks into her house, my heart racing.
"Shouldn't leave your front door open." I say, and Terry seems overwhelmed to see me.
"Oh my god," she says, almost dropping her bags.
".Invites illegal entry," I finish my sentence.
"Mike!" She exasperates, running over to me.
We embrace each other. God! I missed hugging her. Her slender body presses against mine and the heat from her presence makes me glad to see she's alright. We pull back from each other, staring into one another's eyes, but I notice something else. Her nose has began to bleed Please tell me she didn't. God please. But I know what happened. She went on the site. "Terry. What did you do?"
She looks at me with sadness in her eyes. "Why?" I continue, pleading in my head.
"You just ran out didn't you?" Terry says.
I would've come back. I wouldn't leave you forever. "More like a slow job."
"You've got to go back."
My head pounded and I quietly cried out in pain. Have to keep talking straight. Have to keep myself sane for Terry. "No. They can't help me now." The hospital didn't do shit for me, just let me sleep, ever so checking up on me. In the corner of my eye, I saw my father. I fought against my own will to get rid of him. "I'm just slipping in and out more and more."
"Okay."
"Running out of time," I say to her, indicating that she could loose her mind at any moment.
"We gotta go."
"Where are we going?"
"To the morgue."
"Your not really here," I say, closing my eyes. "Jeannie's fucking with me again."
"Stop bullshitting yourself boy. I'm really here. Look at me when I'm talking to you," my father ordered me.
"No," I shake my head.
"What'd you say?"
"I said no!"
He looked at me with hatred in his eyes, like I had never took my time to appreciate the things he'd done for me. What has he done for me? Nothing. My father never thought I was any good to him. Always thought I was useless. So he'd beat me to teach me a lesson. Even if I didn't do anything, just because he was drinking. Was I afraid of my father? Yes. He did disappear one night though and never came home. The cops said he could've been killed but mom and I didn't care. That asshole was gone for good.
For now at least. We were always in constant fear that he would return and we didn't have enough money to get a new home. He never did return though, and I was always worried he'd come back. Jeannie managed to surf around in the deepest parts of my memory and threw them right back at me. My father vanished and I was left alone in the morning sunset. My car still sounding of that annoying racket. I'll come back. I said, getting up and running to the subway.
It was still early when I came to Terry's house. I probably looked like shit, but I didn't care for my looks, all I cared about was her. I knocked on her door. No answer. I tried again. Still nothing. I reached for the knob, the door was unlocked. I hoped nothing had happened to her. It's not usual to keep your door unlocked this early in the morning. Especially in New York.
"Terry?" I spoke out. No answer. I'm not surprised. I have my gun out in front of me, checking her apartment. Everything seems in place, so I sit myself down in her chair, dozing off. I don't know how long I was out, but I heard the door creek open. There she was, seeming perfectly fine. Terry walks into her house, my heart racing.
"Shouldn't leave your front door open." I say, and Terry seems overwhelmed to see me.
"Oh my god," she says, almost dropping her bags.
".Invites illegal entry," I finish my sentence.
"Mike!" She exasperates, running over to me.
We embrace each other. God! I missed hugging her. Her slender body presses against mine and the heat from her presence makes me glad to see she's alright. We pull back from each other, staring into one another's eyes, but I notice something else. Her nose has began to bleed Please tell me she didn't. God please. But I know what happened. She went on the site. "Terry. What did you do?"
She looks at me with sadness in her eyes. "Why?" I continue, pleading in my head.
"You just ran out didn't you?" Terry says.
I would've come back. I wouldn't leave you forever. "More like a slow job."
"You've got to go back."
My head pounded and I quietly cried out in pain. Have to keep talking straight. Have to keep myself sane for Terry. "No. They can't help me now." The hospital didn't do shit for me, just let me sleep, ever so checking up on me. In the corner of my eye, I saw my father. I fought against my own will to get rid of him. "I'm just slipping in and out more and more."
"Okay."
"Running out of time," I say to her, indicating that she could loose her mind at any moment.
"We gotta go."
"Where are we going?"
"To the morgue."