By tea, of course, he meant a full meal. I've always been impressed by his spread. Really I have. He's got a real carnivorous bend to his diet; I suppose it's all part of his sick sense of humor.
See, I've always suspected Knives was a twisted guy. There's a good reason for it. He is a twisted guy. Honestly, I think he'd offer me human flesh if it weren't for the fact that I made it clear that I wasn't a cannibal. "But, Reverend, don't you take the body and blood of Christ on a weekly basis?" "Yes, but there's this whole savior of mankind thing going on behind that. And it's symbolic, anyway." "Well... You know, some people get some pretty interesting ideas about my brother..." "Yes, like that nitwit musical notation of yours. Do you really enjoy watching him lick your brother like that daily?" "...I suppose we'll accommodate your diet some other way, human."
"Would you care to say grace?" he said, in that mocking tone of his. Yes, I'd like to say grace, and I'd like to finish it up by giving you the finger, blaspheming briefly, and going home. But I suppose for the moment a prayer will do.
"Why, certainly. Anything for the sake of preserving my dear employer's soul."
"I don't suppose you could manage it in one of those dead languages?" He really is fond of dead things, especially dead people. Big surprise. I know what he's getting at; unfortunately, I spent most of my time in Latin class rolling cigarettes out of bible pages, soo...
"Ah... In vino veritas; festina lente carpe diem. Memento mori, aliciae per speculum transitus, aliciae in terra mirabilis." Riight. Okay. None of that was in the least religious. "Pies iesu domine, dona eis requiem." Hah. One prayer. Go me.
He merely smiled. With my luck, he was likely fluent in Latin. Yeah. Well I could roll a better cigarette any day, so there. I wondered briefly if it was tea he was drinking, or Miracle Gro.
"That was lovely, Reverend. Not your usual prayer; but I suppose that's all we can expect from you."
"God forbid I be predictable."
"I suppose you'd know very well what God forbids or encourages. What was the verdict on killing again?"
"It's actually 'thou shalt not murder...'"
"Same thing, in your case."
I really, really do know when not to answer. See? Be amazed. Besides, there wasn't really anything for me to say.
"In any case. I do have a particular mission for you... "
Fabulous. What this time? Kill things? Maim? Destroy? Put glue in his toothpaste, for pete's sake? Knives might be an evil genius, but he's not too clever with thinking up tactics. You know, a good old fashioned human education on this boy and... well, humanity'd be screwed.
"I want you to hit him where it hurts. Seduce the short girl."
Freeze. Sweatdrop. Stare. Knives is smirking again. That means he's serious.
Lord have mercy upon my soul.