Many people might want to know why I started SLF fics and I will be sure to tell you, I have always wanted to help people, and by writing my fics I warn and help people and that is one of the best feelings you can ever feel. What got me started was a fanfic I wrote and some one commented, "With out your help I would probably be dead." To hear those words made me want to help more people, I'm a big supporter of Awareness Ribbons of all kind and the way I show my support is by writing. Since, I don't have much to donate. But I'm trying to find way to help more, if you know some please email me.
I hope my fics help some of you out there; cause to touch a heart is something you can never by with money.
Another good site about miscarriages is http://www.hygeia.org/
(I don't own any of the sites I name, so don't sue, they are only references for all of you!)
Regaining Strength
By MoshiMoshiQueen
~Thoughts~
"Talking"(Me Talking)
Tomoyo's POV
Grieving is the only word to explain the pain that Sakura and Syaoran were going threw and as their long-time friend I felt bad because I was helpless to help. I could only be a shoulder for them to cry on but as a friend the worst thing you can fell is being helpless to help your best friends.
Someone how I knew that they could make it threw this but as days turned to weeks but hope was slowly disappearing. If there was not hope for their marriage every other marriage would fall as well, because theirs was strong and got strong when Sakura got pregnant but that all crumbled under their feet.
Syaoran started working burning him self in work leaving Sakura alone and afraid. It left them both broken and incomplete. Those two some how had to realize that they couldn't make this on their own, they had to work together…
As they had for many years before their world shattered… before their daughter died at birth leaving them both dead to the world…
Watching day to day made you want to cry but you can't because when you're a best friend you're their shoulder, you're their hope and strength. They need you to be there for them no matter what. You need to pull threw; that's was friends are for but you can't help but cry your self.
And then you need that shoulder to cry on. I knew I couldn't be a shoulder for Sakura, her husband had to be and I needed to snap Syaoran out of his trance. But I couldn't do that but I knew someone who could…
My husband, his best friend…
Eriol's POV
I walked up the tall building walking up the stairs I knew so well, but they looked so different at midnight.
I walked slowly to the door that had golden letters, which engraved the words 'Li Syaoran'
Inside was a grieving man with picture of his wife and baby that never came.
I stopped before opening, I knew what I had to do but it is no east thing trying to get your best friend back into reality after his daughter died at birth. I couldn't relate to him and really I hope I never had to.
I opened the door slowly looking inside at Syaoran with big bags under his eyes and his hair messed up surrounded with papers and books. "Come on Syaoran lets go."
"I can't."
"Yes, you can come on."
"Eriol, I can't. I can't go home."
"Then lets not go home, lets go out and get you out of this place."
Syaoran got up slowly and followed behind me, dragging his feet trying not to loss to the sleep that was calling his name.
He got in my car and it truly did make me want to cry, I had never seen him like this ever, he looked so hurt and sad.
I couldn't stand seeing him like this as much as Tomoyo couldn't stand seeing Sakura like this. They were both hurting so badly inside, we all knew it but that hurt couldn't be fixed by me or their friends, they needed each other.
We stopped at a coffee shop sitting down slowly smelling the sweat bitterness of our surroundings.
I took a sip of my tea and looked at Syaoran who only looked at it, "You need to go home."
"I can't go home."
"You need to your wife needs you Syaoran. She needs you now more than ever."
"How can I help her when I can't help myself?"
"You can't get threw this alone. You need each other."
I knew Syaoran knew I was right but his mind was still screaming from the pain he held inside.
"Please Syaoran do this not because of me or Tomoyo, do this for you and Sakura. Let me take you home."
"I'll walk, I need some time."
I wanted to yell at him then to scream 'your wife is wasting away! Can't you both see you can't do this alone!' but yelling never helped much.'
I knew he needed to think; he needed the fresh air and the night that gave you a free mind to think and comprehend what was going on.
I watched him leave the coffee shop, my job was done but I wished I could help him more. Just take away all of his pain. To endure all the pain for them. But there is only so much a best friend can do but as a best friend you always want to do more…
Syaoran's POV
I knew Eriol was right but I don't know how I could handle things, every time I went it was another fight and harsh words. Every time I looked at her it strung in my heart. I knew it was not her fault but I couldn't touch her to hold her with out feeling more pain.
She was feeling my pain but could we make it threw this? I wanted to forget it, I wanted to leave it all behind but life is never easy. Life is never the same after some part of you dies. I felt my daughter in my heart I only wish I could have held her just once, to feel her soft skin.
I was hoping it was a dream, a horrible nightmare but I saw it in Sakura's eyes, I knew we lost our daughter and we lost a part of us.
I looked up at out home and could picture Sakura sitting at the table wishing I was home or wondering where I was. I knew she was probably sitting in the rocking chair holding Ying fa's blanket close to her.
I opened the door and the baby's light was on and Sakura crying with the blanket to her body never wanting to let go.
I wanted to hold her to take all her pain away but something stopped me, but I needed to get past that. I needed to help her, Eriol was right we couldn't make it alone.
"Sakura come with me, please?"
She looked up holding the blanket that was now socked with tears, "please come with me."
She got up slowly and I held her hand tightly, "Let's get into bed."
She looked at me asking me if I was asking what was true, I nodded. (Did that make any sense at all?????)
We walked to our room slowly and I laid her on the bed kissing up her neck and kissing her tears away and stopping my tears from coming out.
"I love you Sakura." Was what I said over and over as I kissed her weak body.
That night was the first step to healing, the first time we admitted we needed each other; we needed each other's help. As we made love for the first time since that day, we regain feelings we lost.
We started to heal… one bit at a time.
This chapter made me teary eyed. My heart was aching when it was Syaoran's POV, it was like I knew how he felt, but I can't know, because that feelings is unknown to me and I hope any one who has felt it or is feeling it knows that they need to heal, but they can't do it alone.
I hoped you liked this chapter, here is another site: http://www.missfoundation.org/