Title: Intended Amnesia
Author: Jozzy
Summary: after W/A spend the night together
Rating: R
Spoilers: None this and AU.
Part 2
Hurt. Pain. Betrayal. Blonde. Brunette. Xander. An angel. Night. Darkness.
Belle awoke, her lungs scrambling for air. Her body was sticky with sweat and her hands gripped the covers. The same dream, the blur, the one that she never quite remembered. It was like watching a slide show in fast forward, she could only make out certain things but nothing that could arrange to create a bigger picture.
The dreams had become more frequent since that night. The night with the dark angel. He was haunting her now. She couldn't go out without seeing him lurking in every shadow. He frightened her deeply.
He was from the TIME OF NO MEMORY, from the time when Willow Rosenberg still dwelled in her body. He knew Willow, loved her. He would want her back. Belle feared dying, simply disappearing as she had made her reclusive alter do years ago.
Most of the time she pushed the man out of her mind. It wasn't the first time she had ever regretted a one night stand. Usually the guys weren't in love with her and not nearly as beautiful. But it didn't matter if he was Adonis or Apollo, she would push him out of her mind as she did many of the men who shared her bed.
Pulling herself out of bed with the last of her will, Belle dragged her self to the communal bathrooms of her dormitory. Belle liked to get up early in the morning, before the rest of the floor a woke, before the sun had risen and take her shower in the dark. Belle liked to do everything in the dark.
She stepped into the small stall and felt along the wall for the knobs. The water came out almost boiling hot, the way she liked it, the best part of morning was the water pressure. Belle let the hot water burn the sweat and grime from her body. Showers melted off the evidence of her past as it washed off her sins.
She felt the eyes on her again. Lately, whenever in a place of shadows, Belle could feel stares on her body. Sometimes she allowed herself to fantasize that it was the dark angel. She would close her eyes and remember his embrace. It had felt familiar and new at the same time.
Belle couldn't remember ever pining for a guy like she did now. Men had been entertainment to her. A momentary distraction, from that ache she felt when the stars came out. None of them memorable, half of them hadn't even lasted a full night.
It was different with him though. He was on her mind constantly. In the art classes she took, his figure drifted into all her works. The chocolate eyes that drowned her, the lips which enticed, and the lean muscle that soothed her.
He had had a tattoo on his left shoulder blade. Normally tattoos were a major turn off to Belle. The men that wore them usually fake, wanting to prove their masculinity through ink and flesh carving. He was no such man. There was an aura of power around him. He needed to prove nothing.
The sun shone brightly on her as she moved across campus. The students milled around her, swarming like ants. She didn't say hello to a single soul, a practice ingrained since grade school when she had no friends to wave at. In the land of the sun Belle sometimes felt lonely.
The sun was like a magnifying glass, taking her problems enlarging them and making sure she could not escape. People with their smiles and secret societies, living full complete lives, not missing anything, not missing the flaws in their minds.
The land of the sun was somewhere Belle didn't like to be. She waited patiently, through dull classes, until she could come home to the night. The stars sparkled in the sky leading her, one day, to that truth in her dreams.