I wasn't about to let my perilous trip to the Orange Kid's house go wasted. I was told to go to Dr. Andonuts by one person I trusted. Possibly another one I never even saw, but I'm not sure if I was told to go to Dr. Andonuts. After I heard about him, that was my gut instinct. I borrowed a chair from the bakery, made a trip to the drug store for some reading material, poster board and a sharpie. I made a noticeable sign that said "WAITING FOR CAB" then waited outside the bakery. I got through my entire magazine, but there was no cab. I looked around and saw the same bike I got back in. I was hesitant to go back on, but looked at the bike and decided that if I was able to out-run that many zombies on a bike, I was good enough to get around in broad daylight on one.

I got on and sped westward. I went right by the fabled green house, but noticed it. I stopped, knocked and was brought in quickly. "Hi, I'm Andonuts. What brings you here?" He talked quickly as he rushed around to clean the place up.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I was with the Onett police force. I've seen much worse."

"Thanks. It may not look like it, but I have an organizing system here that works pretty well if you know what it is. Unfortunately, the only people who know about it are me and the Apple Kid over there." He pointed to a chubby red-haired kid dressed almost completely in red.

"Apple Kid? Any relation to the Orange Kid?"

"He wishes there were some relation. He's a womanizer and a self-absorbed idea man. I'm a genuine inventor." He scratched his worked-up butt and went back to what he was working on.

"Sorry about that. So, care to explain some of your inventions, Dr. Andonuts?"

"Well, all I have here are the beginnings of new projects. All my stuff was left at home, so we've been a bit slow getting things going."

"How did you get here? I'd understand if you wouldn't know. I'm having some problems remembering that myself."

"I was in my sky runner. You may have heard about that. It's my famed flying device, not in commercial development yet. I was on a trip to see my son, Jeff in Saturn Valley, but somehow, I lost control of my machine and was forced to utilize the untested ejector seat. Luckily, it worked fine, but the sky runner ended up going through the cemetery. I haven't been back to check on it yet. That place is always guarded." He looked at the Apple Kid and saw he was too busy to explain his situation. "Apple Kid over there has a more typical story. He was kidnapped, blindfolded and hogtied. We assume the last was merely for entertainment. Once he was let go, he was in the middle of Threed."

"Dang. Was I the only one to get knocked out?"

"Perhaps it was someone other than the zombies who got to you."

"Nope," I didn't remember it all, but I remembered that what Dr. Andonuts suggested was not a possibility. "I'm pretty sure it was. I saw them."

"Well, you can't doubt the human vision."

"Dr. Andonuts, I was told you had some pretty good ideas about zombies. Care to share them?"

"Of course. What's the point in having knowledge if you can't share it?" He got up and flipped the blackboard around. He did plenty of unnecessary pointing during his explanation. "My theory is a simple one that goes back but has never been proven. I have evidence that these aren't actually zombies. These are aliens." Before I got a chance to make a rhetorical question, he went on with his explanation. "For one, the complexion of the zombies isn't completely humanlike. Yes, I will not deny that there are obvious similarities, but are there not similarities between man and ape? This could help fuel the theory that aliens were here before man. That man is part of that alien species. Secondly, the coloration is nothing like what zombie experts predicted zombies would look like. It is more similar to the probable complexion of an alien from one of the outer planets. One of the gaseous planets, smaller, colder planets or something out of our solar system. The chemical makeup in those planets does not allow for the type of diet that would lead to our coloration. Instead, it would lead to a greenish coloration observed by the naked eye. However, if these were aliens from the inner planets, there would be a drastic change in coloration. Mars aliens would be more of a grayish color. The planets between the earth and the sun would provide us with beings of a brownish tint. If everything adds up, the aliens began in one of the outer planets. They overpopulated their planets and began colonizing the other planets, with the proper equipment to survive on those planets. Obviously, they wouldn't sent their most contributing members of society, which explains why we are so behind. Now, my third, but not as important or researched point…"

I was about to fall asleep and stopped him there. "Ok, I get the point. No need to go further. Do you have any physical evidence you've found here?"

"Of course. Let's go out back."

"Wait a minute, I have a question."

"What's your question?"

"You seem to know quite a bit about these aliens, so why would they be so hostile?"

"Who cares? They're eating our brains."

"Now, do you think they're too strong for us?"

"I'm not too sure. I haven't seen them do anything noteworthy yet."

"Well, do you think Ghandi could beat up Peter the Great?" I was hoping he would let me stay on track with this.

"Sure. I have no doubts that Ghandi could do it."

"Yeah, he'd probably whip off his diaper and choke Peter the Great to death with it. You think he ever had problems with a gap in that thing?" Dr. Andonuts probably wasn't familiar with the gap. I guess that's what happens when you're completely isolated from any neighbors knocking on your door at midnight in their boxers. "Well, my point is that there's probably some kind of weakness there. You got a good brain there, Andonuts. You should try to use it a bit more quickly. We don't have much time left."

Andonuts just led the way to the back yard. It didn't look like it had been mowed in a while until we got on the roof for a better look. "See anything familiar, Captain Strong?"

"Yeah, these look like those crop circle things."

"Exactly, although I'm not sure what it means. It's probably just a simplified version of the Stonehenge thing. Have you ever been there?"

"Nope. I wasn't even sure it was real. I heard rumors, but just rumors."

"I have two working theories on that now." Oh, great. The theories. I had to get down and get a closer look while he spent another half hour making himself feel like more of a genius. "Hey, stop! You really need to hear my first theory before you go closer!"

"I'm waiting."

"The Stonehenge led to an underground headquarters. Some kind of lab thing. It got blown up, so I wasn't able to do much with that. Second theory is just that they're some weird means of communication."

I was sure that nothing would happen to me if I stepped in one of the circles. But I decided to do something just to please the old brainiac. I shot down a decent-sized branch and brought it with me on the roof. I took a few seconds to get ready then threw it like a lance. It landed right in the middle of one of the circles and stuck. Nothing happened, so I was given the green light by Andonuts. I went back down and slowly went through the tall, waist-high grass. I saw something on the ground, but it turned out to be something pretty expected-a rake. I went further into the circle, which turned out to be a bit sloppier than the alien documentaries built them up to be. Then I finally saw something to prove the doctor wrong. A half circle, with a knocked down lawnmower and some rotted limb. I crouched down to get a closer look at the bottom of the half-circle. I saw nothing on the flat portion of the circle, then I let my eyes stray as I thought about what could have happened and spotted something in the tall grass. I saw a beige piece of cloth protruding out, pulled on it and found myself with a nice and unusually clean and wearable pair of pants. Luckily, I also had a new wallet in my hands.

"I think I know what's with the circles."

"What? The current theories baffle me since there has been so much going both against and for the crop circles."

I threw the limb at him and showed him the wallet. He threw the limb off the roof before I got a chance to speak and looked a bit sick. "The guy was an alien freak. Look at the wallet. Big contributor to S.E.T.I., member of one national and two local alien clubs and for some reason, he had a picture of David Duchovony in the picture slips. Not sure if this is Duchovony's kid or if he felt Duchovony was a more influential part of his life than his father or any other non-mom relatives. Unless that's Fox Mulder's wife, mom, long-lost-alien-hunting-cousin, whatever. I never watched the show on a weekly basis."

"What does that have to do with circles?"

"The kid was fascinated with aliens. He must have made these himself. I've heard about cases like these. Not too often if you have the right people screwing with the kids' minds."

Before I was able to try to make stronger attempts to wipe all this alien junk out of Andonuts's head, I heard a weird scream. I wasn't able to tell if it was from a woman or a man at first, but then I remembered the Apple Kid. I looked down and only saw a big bloody pile of something. It was too late and before I was able to insure that I wasn't going to suffer from the same fate, I felt two cold hands grabbing my skull. I instinctively gave the zombie a swift and effective head butt. The zombie obviously went to his instincts too since I felt a slight tug on my hair during the fast-paced escape. My hair had been wettened minorly and I told Andonuts not to panic.

I looked around then remembered the one thing I forgot. The ladder. Luckily, it wasn't too late to do anything about it now. I saw the head popping up and ran at it. I had never done it on a roof before, but I performed an ideal baseball slide and broke a few shingles during the stop. I probably busted up the zombie's skull or what was left of it. It was flat on its bloodied back and I began pulling the ladder up. It was heavy enough and I had to drop it once I felt some more pressure on it. I threw it away from the roof and flattened another zombie in the process.

I got back to a safer point of the roof where the doctor had taken refuge. "Fascinating, ain't it?" He didn't respond. He was too busy observing a pack of zombies hunting down a defenseless old man and disemboweling him. I'm not sure if it was the violence that he was so shocked by or the fact that he wasn't able to do anything reasonable. During the eating of the disemboweled old man, I heard some scraping on the house. I felt pretty safe at this higher altitude and was ready to camp out all night. Safe enough to check on the zombies determined to eat us even if it made them even deader. The zombies were slowly climbing the sides of the house. Some fell off, but others had longer nails, probably just for this. I shot all the house-scaling zombies and rushed back to the center of the house. "They're climbing up to the roof. We have to get out," I explained.

"How? I don't think my body could handle a leap to the ground now."

"Your fragile butt can't afford to get eaten either." I began looking for anything to climb down from. I saw nothing. The closest tree was too far away and the base of the tree was surrounded by zombies anyways. I turned around as I heard a loud crashing. A zombie arm had just forced itself through the roof. Andonuts wasn't the quickest on the reflexes and was slowly drug down to the house, taking a bit of the roof with him. I didn't bother checking on him, especially after I heard his chilling screams.

I heard something coming from my right. I looked and wasn't able to make it out at first. As it got closer, I was able to see what it was. A bus. Convenient. It turned out to be too convenient. I jumped on the roof since anything seemed to be better than the green house, which was going to fall apart faster than the Titanic. That hard, cold metal smacking your torso isn't the most ideal feeling to have. It always looks easier when done by a professional, but I landed on something and already felt a good bruise right below my ribcage. I rolled over and grabbed it then felt a bump right on the back of my spine. The zombies were back at their roof destruction antics. Luckily, buses have a tendency to be made out of hard-to-pierce metal and all that touched me then was a slight protrusion of the metal. I sat up, facing the front of the bus just to avoid any hilarious "sweet, I survived" decapitations. I heard something bumping the front of the bus and kept my distance due to my desire not to get split in half and because I was still a bit sore after the landing. The bumping didn't last very long. I heard some glass shattering; bumping then saw what looked like the decapitated body of a bus driver rolling behind the bus. That's never a good sign.

I instantly felt some good swerving. I've never felt swerving this extreme, even during that time I let my 6-year old take over the driver's seat of Onett's top police cruiser. Luckily, the swerving evened out even if the rest of the ride wasn't the most ideal. Unfortunately, every good thing that happened to me that night seemed to have some kind of drawback. I saw the hatch being opened in the back and looked for some way out. One zombie climbed out, only to receive a quick bullet to the head from my trigger-happy hands. He rolled off and if Dr. Andonuts had a theory that zombies roll off busses better then men, this would have proven it. Another zombie climbed up, but was a bit luckier. I had run out of bullets and looked for some route of escape. He was going to get to me eventually, so I ran at him and dove at him headfirst. I smacked him in the face with my emptied out gun and he slid off the roof with ease. I almost did the same, but I have reflexes. I grabbed onto something on the edge of the bus and was able to quickly pull myself back up.

I looked around to see where I was. I saw that we were on my new street, but another zombie had climbed onto the roof and we were still going too quickly to just jump off. I remember a decent-sized tree near the bakery and kept an eye out for it. I jumped as we got close and was able to grab onto a branch. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a good grip and fell right off. Oh well, it's better than rolling or just plain succumbing to my death. Finally, I caught a break. There were no zombies around and I was able to slowly drag by bruised and battered body to the bakery. I was expected and was brought in more quickly than a NASCAR pit crew by Sharon and the baker. "Hey, at least I didn't bust up the windows this time," I said as I went out once again.