Part One: Revisiting the Past
all disclaimers, and notes apply.

Thursday rolled around, and Harry was on the edge of his seat waiting for Professor Lupin. He made breakfast quickly, and after setting the table went upstairs for a shower. The bathroom had become a little bit intimidating. The mirror was something he tended to avoid. It wasn't that he didn't like looking at himself- he wasn't that bad looking, it was just distressing to see someone else staring at him. Someone he almost didn't recognize.

He stayed out of the way as best he could until the doorbell rang at quarter to one. He raced down the stairs to see Petunia staring at Remus. "I don't wish to buy anything today sir.'

"I'm not selling anything, Maam."

"I don't want to be converted either."

"No maam. I'm here to –"

"I don't care what you're here for. Go away." She went to close the door but Remus got a hand in, and held the door in place. Of course, he was a werewolf and possessed superhuman strength. She hadn't a chance in hell of shutting the door. "Aunt Petunia! He's here to see me!"

"He's one of you then!" She became visibly more distressed. While I had rules about magic, this adult did not. Hagrid had scarred them even more after he'd affixed Dudley's gargantuan ass with a curly pig's tail.

"He'll behave! I promise. We'll stay outside even! I just- I have to talk to him. It's very important."

"Why didn't you just send him a letter then with those ridiculous insufferable birds."

"I did! But its really important, he's got to see me. Please, Aunt petunia, I swear he won't do any magic at all! Even if he did- I'd get in trouble- they'd think I did! He won't. I swear."

Remus stared at the boy that was pleading with his aunt. That--- that was not James' son. There was no doubt. That was a Snape.

*

"Did you sleep with Lily?"


Severus turned around from his work at the potions bench. "Excuse me?"


Remus growled under his breath. "You heard me, Sev. Did. You. Sleep. With. Lily?"


"Where would you get a ridiculous idea like that?"


Remus stalked forward, and handed his lover Harry's letter. "Read it."


Severus read to himself. "And, you read this and thought, 'Oh! I know. Severus slept with Lily?' I'm not following."


"It was the line about being the wrong shape that caught my attention the first time. Then I went to see him. You know, be a nice guy, give my best friend's orphan son a little love and kindness. He's not my best friend James' orphan son, though. He's my good friend Lily's, but certainly not James'. You slept with Lily, Severus. There's no other way to explain it. Harry looks just like you. Almost overnight. His hair even grew out to your length, as if it were genetic."


Severus' shaking hand, pushed a bit of hair away from his eyes. "Let me pour this down the drain and we'll discuss this downstairs." Remus's eyes followed after him, watching as his lover moved though his normally graceful motion, with stiff movements, and a face full of anxiety. Remus sighed, he'd approached Severus in the entirely wrong manner. Lily must have known that the baby wasn't James'. Harry had been too much like his father when he was younger. And Lily had been a whiz at charms and transfiguration. Why had it disintegrated and faded, though? Had he grown past the limits of her charms? He trailed Severus out of his lab, and into the sitting room. Severus chose the farthest chair from him.

"She wasn't supposed to keep him."


Remus frowned. "What?"


"Lily, bless her, was a muggle-born, and you know full well what Voldemort thought of muggle-borns, and muggles. He wanted them all destroyed. I couldn't hurt her! But I was instructed to bring back evidence that I had, or be killed myself. I was working for Albus at the time, and I knew Lily from school, of course. What to do? Then it hit me. Destruction came in many forms, and Voldemort would know that. So I posed her several options. I would give her a child. I can do that- I follow a lot of muggle science. They're incredibly intelligent for having survived without magic. Lily knew about it as well. They call it artificial insemination. I never slept with Lily, but I got proof that I had "raped" her. There would be a child. She was supposed to get rid of it, Remus. Then- Harry looked so much like James, I thought, maybe it just gave her a taste of motherhood, and so she got pregnant again. I thought for sure that was what had happened."


"Lily was an expert at charms, and transfiguration. Sucked at potions, as you well know, but was very good at the others. She might have constructed a mix of both to hide him when he was younger, at least. I've always felt they both knew what was coming. She might have done it to hide him until the war was over? I'm not sure."


"He looks like me?"


"Very much. Lily's eyes still, and her nose, thankfully. It always was adorable, that upturned little slope at the end. You should tell him, Severus. He'll figure it out when he sees you in the mirror, at Hogwarts."


"How do I tell him that? Yes, well I suppose, I was your sperm donor. You dad wasn't what you thought he was. It'd break his heart Remus. As much as I don't coddle the boy, he doesn't need anyone else mooning over him, but he doesn't deserve that."

"What do you want to do then? Just- let him be miserable, and confused, and then figure it out on his own? If he doesn't on his own, Hermione will know in a second!"


Severus sighed. "Can you tell him? You're his-- confidant if nothing else. He wrote to you to ask questions about puberty. That's trust."


Remus giggled- then laughed. "He did, didn't he? Oh dear God, I'm going to kill Sirius. He's supposed to deal with this stuff. All right. All right. I'll do it, but you should - write him, after, or something. It's going to sting a bit, that the man that is his father, tortures him in school."


"School! Oh, God, what happens when he shows up at school?"


"We'll cross that bridge-"


"Oh, fuck off with your stupid placating nonsense, Rehmy. Make me a cup of tea, will ya? I just found out I'm a dad."


"You're supposed to get a cigarette for that."


"A cigar, Remus. Cigarettes are for after sex."


Finally Remus succumbed, and burst out laughing, crossing the room to kiss his lover once before slipping out to make them both some tea.

***

Harry had gotten an owl from Remus within a day of Remus having seen him. He knew it was bad.

Harry,

I'm going to pick you up, and we're going to Gringott's to look for anything that James and Lily might have left there. I have a rather strong suspicion that there's at least a letter in there someplace. It's all right, Harry, everything is pretty much the way it should be. I'll be there tomorrow morning at eleven. Sleep in, its summer holiday for crying out loud.

As Ever-
Remus

It was eleven oh five, and he was late. "He's late, you little shit."

"Well, we don't know how he's getting here. Let me go check the living room. Maybe he's stuck in the fireplace again." He was certain that a man as intelligent as Remus wouldn't make that mistake, but one never knew. He was right, he hadn't. At quarter after a rather slick black car pulled into the drive. Harry's eyes could have passed for saucers they were so round behind his black glasses. What was poor professor Lupin doing driving that car? The man looked good too- healthy, and well dressed. Maybe he'd come into some inheritance? Or Hogwarts paid that well? It certainly wasn't because the Goblins gave him a good exchange rate on wizard to muggle money.

"That's your teacher?"

Harry nodded. "Yup!" He walked out of the house, and smiled up at his most beloved teacher. "Hi."

"How are you doing, Harry?"

"Pretty good. Besides the whole thing with my face or whatever. You look good. Healthy."

"I am. Professor Snape has been good enough to continue making Wolfsbane for me, and sending it by owl. It still hurts of course, but it makes things so much easier. Now then, let's get you to Gringotts, hmm?"

Remus went around to the driver's side and Harry got in. "Bye! I'll be back later!"

"So, what is it then?" Harry asked once they were inside the car and speeding down the street.


"Well, hmm, first, have you ever explored your Gringott's vault, Harry? Checked for things - toy brooms, or letters, or objects other than coins?"


"No. I barely even look, just take as much as I need for school. I usually go with Ron, you know, and I don't want anyone to see-"


Remus nodded. "I know how rich James was, don't worry, Harry. But, I can't help but think that Lily would have left you at least a letter. That's the kind of woman she was- and no one was deluded enough to think that nothing could happen. I imagine they prepared for the worst possibility. Like appointing Sirius as your godfather. I know that James had a rather extensive will. There's a lot of magical ways one can be not dead, but unable to function."


"Like Neville's parents?"


Remus looked over at Harry, and sighed. "Yes. Like Frank and Sarah."


"I feel bad for Neville. It's unfair that he has parents that don't know him."


"I know. Poor little bloke. Good kid though, good kid. I hear he's a genius at herbology. Professor Sprout, the year I taught, simply raved over him to the teachers. Severus of course had much to say about his performance in potions, but I can certainly understand his impaired ability. I would love to have Neville over some time, show him that he needn't fear Severus, just- deal with him."


They parked in the municipal lot for park and ride, just a small walk from the underground station where Hagrid and he had gotten off on their first trip to Diagon Alley. They made their way through the London traffic, and to the run down and blackened entrance to the Leaky Cauldron. They headed out the back way, thought the brick wall. Harry still thought that was one of the coolest things he'd ever seen, and found themselves, in the midst of a bustling alleyway, and a grouping of busy shops. They made their way towards the largest of them all- the marble front of Gringott's bank. Harry presented the goblin with his key. Inside Harry went, followed by Remus.


"What are we looking for?"


"An envelope, maybe? Really, I think Lils would have left SOMETHING, but I haven't a clue what really. Could be anything, really. Depends on what she wanted to instill with information. She was a master at charms- could be an object. Pick up everything, but coins, I suppose."


Harry stared at a beaten weathered brown box in the corner. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't small. Something had been saved! Something that belonged to his family. He walked over, and opened the flaps. "Professor Lupin-"


Remus moved through the small piles of coins dropped on the floor. Sirius' vault, from what he remembered from ages ago, was much less tidy- strewn with things- his first broom, a few things they'd found on their adventures at Hogwarts as animagi and wolf, a few things he'd bought in Japan, on a trip they'd taken. "What'd you find, Harry?"


"Dunno, its heavy though! Help me lift it out, I don't want to break it." Harry watched, eyes wide, as Remus lifted the heavy object as if it weighed no more than a feather. The two unwrapped it- it was wrapped in parchment, and leather, to cushion it from the goblins, and whatever else might jostle it. Harry's eyes grew when he realized what he was looking at. "A pensieve!" Their memories!


Remus pulled from within in the leather, a note. "It's a note. Probably instructions. Here." Remus handed Harry the note.

Harry,
I see you've found the pensieve. James and I hope you won't ever have to use this, but we didn't want to take a chance. The contents of the pensieve you see before you, a mix of all kinds of memories. James has donated a memory of a Hogsmeade weekend, in fifth year when I joined the Marauders for the first time, a day on the shore surfing, the day he got his Auror's certificate. But, I'd like to warm you also, that not everything in here is innocuous and happy. If my charms and transfiguration work fails for some reason, you'll seek this pensieve for answers about your father. I won't say anymore on that matter. I hope you won't seek that information out, you'll find it within, but seek with caution, my son, you may not like what you find.
I love you, my Harry.
Mum

Harry wanted to cry, but steeled himself. "Remus- how bad is it? You know, what's made me look like this, right?"


Remus nodded, slowly.


"How bad? Can you, not tell me, then?"


"Do you want to know or not? It'll come out sooner or later, Harry. Your mom can show you, or the mirror will. You won't like it, Harry, not at first, but maybe, maybe you can gain something from it. I can take you to the Leaky Cauldron, and we'll get a room and you can look at it, all right?"


Harry nodded, and the two left the vault, speeding back up to the bank at surface level.

**

Harry stared into the silvery white liquid. "How do I get them?"


"I want you to experience all of them, not just the memories for the situation, right now. Ask to see the marauders, first."


Harry spoke. "Show me the Mauraders!"


Suddenly he was swept away in a chilly white mist, and found himself in Hogsmeade. Kids were everywhere.


"Lils! I can't believe you'd come with us." It was a younger, Remus, that looked just as tired and worm as the older one did. He was walking along side of Sirius and Lily. Sirius stood notably closer than Lily, who was standing rather close to James, hands tucked together.


Sirius laughed, and reached over to smack James Potter's arm. "Riight. Cuz she came to see us. Ha. We're a sorry lot, Rehmy. Jaime here is the lucky one, I'm sorry to say."

Though," Sirius said, surprising Harry with his next statement made in a deep throaty sexy voice, "I can't complain much, can I?" He nuzzled in, against Remus' throat, and his fingers played with little whisps of hair at Remus' neck. Peter, the ugly traitorous bastard, blushed and giggled at the display.


Lily smiled, huge and filled with sunshine and joy, and tucked her arms around Remus, and James. "My boys." It was a moment of bliss.

Clearly one that belonged to Lily. The white mist surrounded him again, and he was in the room in the Leaky Cauldron again.
"You and Sirius were uhm- together?"


"Before he was sent to prison. Not that I don't believe he's innocent- I do. But, he changed, and I changed, and we're not who we were when we were kids. He'll find happiness when its all over, I'm sure of it. Now then, do you want to get the other memory?"


"I- I guess."


"Ask to see your mother's secret."


"All right." He sat down, and stared into the pensieve, a little whispy woman waved at him. Grandmother Evans. He'd seen her picture in the Dursley's family albums. "Show me my mother's secret."

The mist surrounded him once again, and he was in a poorly lit stone room, where he had no idea. Lily was in the corner of the room, bound. "Mum!" he was shocked. What was going on!? The door opened and a well groomed, younger, handsomer, but no less creepy Severus Snape walked into the room.


He sat down on the stone next to his mum, and loosed her from her bindings. He pulled the gag from her mouth, and after swallowing, she spoke. "Thank you." It was raspy, as if she'd been screaming.


"I'm sorry, Lily. If I had known what they were doing- I - I would have found some way to protect you from it."


"They want me dead."


"Yes. I was ordered to destroy you." She whimpered. "I'm not going to hurt you, Lily. I promise."


"Why not? Do you think its funny to lie to me? Tell her she's safe, make her promises that sound, oh so sincere, and then laugh all the harder with those BASTARDS," she spit back at him, "later, after I've been passed around, pillaged and killed?"


Severus' eyes sharpened, and stared at her. "I'm a spy, Lily. I work for Albus. I'm going to find a way to get you out of this. I- I actually had one, it'd be entirely painless. Just a small deception on my part. Voldemort may have been Head Boy, but he's not very smart anymore. He's blind and stupid in his burning rage at the muggles. He's lost his sense. Destroy can mean many things. Everyone knows you've been with Potter since fifth year.

It'd destroy you to have a wedge driven between you, wouldn't it? An affair, and unwanted child?"

Her eyes grew wide. "Are you asking my permission to rape me?!"

Severus sighed, and shook his head. "No, don't be stupid. Even muggles are capable of conception outside of the strict bounds of sex-"

"What, like test-tube babies?"

"And, artificial insemination. You could be perfectly untouched by me, and conceive, and then after I have proof against Veritaserum, you can get rid of the fetus if you want."

Lily stared, long and hard. "Can I think about it?"

"Yes, but please, for the sake of my life, don't think too long." The mist swirled him away.

The same room, the sun had risen. Breakfast dishes were at Lily's feet, she stared at the wall. Snape entered. "Good morning, Lily."

"Why can't you just let me go? Tell him, I got away."

"From what? My island in the middle of the Atlantic, protected by so many wards, and spells that it takes three hours to get through them all? Voldemort is already impatient for news of your death. Please Lily, I'm begging for my life. It's yours or mine, or both. Did you come up with anything?"

She sobbed and shook her head, resting her face against her knees. "No. All right. All right." Mist clouded his vision again.

James Potter was crying, staring at Lily. "What?"

"You heard me, James. I'm not giving this baby up, not going to just- get rid of it. Sybil wrote me specifically not to. You KNOW I haven't told anyone but Remus that I'm pregnant. She said the boy would be great, do great and good things. He'd be a savior. Jamie, if she's right- we can have more children. You know that. We can give him half siblings. A Weasley size family, if you want. You and Severus were never friends, I know. But, he and Remus got on, before Sirius ruined it. Maybe Rehmy could raise him. The baby deserves a chance. We've no viable reason to terminate it- no lack of funds, no lack of people who would care for it- no real danger."

"No danger? You were snatched."

"We could go into hiding. Behind the Fidelis Charm."

"I don't like this."

"I know, Jamie, but please, for me, for everyone, let me keep the baby. I'll give you more, I promise." The next memory was happier at least. Lily was rounded with child, sitting on a couch, Sirius, and Remus sitting on either side. James was sitting in a chair, looking considerably happier than he had in the last memory.

"Have you picked names yet?" Remus asked, his legs out, feet on the coffee table.

Lily smiled. "Yes. Gwyneth Rose, for a girl, and Harry James for a boy."

"Good strong names," Sirius said, a smile on his face. "Good job, guys." Remus laughed, and the other three joined in moments later.

Mist swept him away and he found himself back on the floor with Remus. He stared in horror at the man across from him. "You knew?!"

Remus shook his head. "Not until I saw you, the other day. I went straight home, and demanded to know. He told me. What'd you find out?"

"Snape is my father. He helped her conceive, but she was supposed to get rid of me. Sybil- I guess that's Trelawney, told her I would save everyone. Ironic isn't it? She jumped in front of me, to protect me, thinking that I was already a savior, when truly I was only a savior because she sacrificed herself for me. If I was a girl I would have been named Gwyneth."

"I'd forgotten that. Are you going to be all right?"

Harry whimpered, realizing as he did so, he sounded just like his mother had in Snape's island dungeon. "I hate my own father. My own father—thinks that I'm a big-headed stupid foolish child. He thinks I'm nothing important and everything that annoys him. The Dursleys think I'm a freak, and would rather be without me, and sometimes stop feeding me, but they don't HATE me with the fire of a thousand burning phoenixes."

Remus sighed. That wasn't good. He knew that Harry and Severus had – difficulties getting along, but he hadn't expected this reaction- the fire of a thousand phoenixes was considerable indeed. He wished, not for the first time, that he'd gotten custody of the little one after James and Lily died. The poor boy was so confused about everything- about the world he lived in. He needed to understand what had happened then, to understand the now. "How about I take you to Florean's and then we can drive back, and I'll see what I can do about your situation."