Friday, January 12th 2002 Dear Jurnal- I heard some guys in my math class today talking about how smashed they got at this party.. All these memories came flying back. I remember this one time, my best friend Alli and I were at some guys house out in the middle of no where. There were like almost a 100 people there, the music was blasting, people were shouting, laugin dancing. I remember as if it were yesterday. It was the day that I met my ex, Chase. I in the kitchen, there were people smokeing pot like 2 feet away, and Alli and I were on our third beer. Someone bumped into me, causing me to drop my glass. After I retirived it, I stood up, and was face to face with him. His eyes were as blue as the early borning sky, his eyes were deep brown, with one look into them, I knew that I was lost in them, and never wanted to be found. "Hey." He smiled, backing away a bit, he pulled his free hand through his spiked brown hair, brought it back down and put in back in his pocket. "Hey," I ran my tounge slowly over my lips, makeing them shiny and inviting. We started talking, had 3 more beers, and the next thing I knew we were in the up stairs bathroom makeing out. The next morning I woke up in his arms, I felt safe and secure, even though I had no idea where I was. I thought that I would never see him again, but he stayed with me that morning, he held my thick hair back, as I puked up all the contents of my stomach. After that day, we were practicly imseprable. Untill that is, when my parents deiceded to send me to that damn private school. It was about 45 miles out of where we lived. He would come out as often as possible. Even on the days that visiting was not allowed. He would sneek in through my balcony window. It worked really well, untill some bitch next door ratted me out, and they found him hideing in my closet. Man I really fucked her up after that. I'm surprised I didn't cause her brain damage by the amount of times I bashed her head into that wall. But i'm over that now. I've come past my anger, i've learned to channel it, and release it in a positive way. Well at least thats what my mom and my pyschologist thinks. In fact if I had the chance to I would tottaly go out and get drunk, beat some girls head in and then after that go and watch and even race in some street races. Not like they do any of that stuff here, they all just go out and lasso cows for fun. God I can't wait till spring vacation. We get to go back over to L.A. to visit Rosalyn, and by then I will have my parents trust back to the point that I can go out and meet some of my old friends again. Anyways, We switched seats in english today, and ironicly, I got placed right next to Jack. We sit in the near back of the room, so we just talked the whole time today. It was really cool. I found out that he has a sister who's 13, and an older brother who's 22, maybe he'll buy me alchol.. ok not going down that path again. Well he told me that his parents are going out of town for the weekend, and wanted to know if I would like to come over tonight to "help" him with his math since I am in a higher math then he is. I agreed, and am due over there in like 20 minutes, so I suposse I should go and get ready. I'll tell ya about it later, ~*~Tuseday~*~