Dude, Where's Your Dad's Car?
Disclaimer- The characters arent mine.except for Lee, he is ALL mine! *goes off to snog with Lee* The original idea is, DUH, from the movie "Dude, Where My Car?" but I have remastered it and made it better by adding Fred, George, Lee, some O/P slash and Mac, the Macaroni Man.
Warning- Oliver/Percy SLASH. Don't like it, don't read it. That's the policy.
Chapter 1- Dude..
Lee, sleeping wearing only half on, half off boxers- Oh yeah, baby, that's-
Author- O.O Ah, the simple pleasures of life. *goggles at Lee's goodies*
Lee- the spot, right there, m-hmm.
George- Hehe.This'll wake him up for sure.
Fred- Shh!
Fred and George lifted the fish tank up over the sleeping Lee Jordan's head.
Lee- That's it baby, I like it, you know I do-
Fred- Who do you reckon he's dreaming about?
George- Probably Filch and Angelina.
Fred- At the same time?! Weak.
Then they dumped it over Lee.
Lee, still asleep- Mm, Filch, was that you? Hmm, musta been me.
Fred- Aw, sick.
George- Why didn't he wake up?
Fred- Maybe he created an immunity to water.
George- He's not smart enough to do that.
Fred kicks Lee.
Lee flutters his eyes open- Ow, what was that for?
Fred- Oh, sorry, didn't mean to disturb you and Filch. *snickers*
Lee- O.O Um, I have to go, um, something suddenly came up. *runs away to his room*
Later, after they're all dressed.
Lee- Man, that was some party we had last night.
He looked around and saw McDonalds wrappers, paper, cups and trash strewn across the floor.
Fred- Yeah, your parents should suddenly die of a severe case of poison ivy more often.
Lee- Yeah.
George- Does anyone actually remember what happened last night?
Crickets Chirp.
Lee- All I remember is you getting a little busy with the pizza delivery guy, George.
George- No, that was Fred.
Lee- Really?
Fred beams.
Lee- Hey, what's this?
Lee pulls a video tape out of the twin's bag.
Fred grins- That, my friend, is a tape we planted in Percy's room. We wanted to see what kind of stuff he was up to, spending all his time in there like a robot, and the night we planted it, we heard some stuff coming out of Percy's room.
Lee- Have you looked at it yet?
George- No, but were about to.
He popped it in Lee's VCR and the tv flickered on.
On the television-
Percy runs around his room frantically, appears to be looking for something. He sighs deeply as he picks up a long brunette wig from the bottom of his dresser.
(Lee, George & Fred- 0.o?)
There's a tap on his window.
"Hold on a second!" Percy whispers and hurriedly puts the wig and some lipstick on.
(Lee, George & Fred- 0.o?)
Percy then runs to the window and opens it, and who comes in, but-
"Oh, Oliver, Im so glad you could make it!" Percy shrieked.
(Lee, George & Fred- 0.0!!!!!!!!!)
"How could you have found the time to get here with such a busy schedule?" Percy asked.
"I would give up my broomstick for you, doll face." Oliver said dreamily.
"Would you give up quidditch for me, too?"
There was a long pause.
"As I said, I'd give up my broomstick for you."
They immediately start snogging and the snogging leads to some really graphic stuff. So graphic, I wouldn't be able to keep the rating R, let alone PG 13, so I won't talk about it. I think you get the picture.
After about a half hour, the tape runs out of film.
Lee, George and Fred- :o
George- My dear lord.
Lee- It burns!!!!! *rubs his eyes insanely*
Fred- Make it stop! *tries to erase his memory*
Later that day-
Lee, George and Fred walk out of the house.
George- That was sick. I knew Perce was kind of disturbed, but that was freaky!
Fred- Yeah, no wonder Wood was always so easy on us!
George- Wood was never easy on us.
Fred- Oh yeah.
Lee- I never want to see anything like that- EVER- again.
They all pause.
George- Dude, where's your dad's car???
Lee looks around- Dude, I don't know.
Fred- Where's your dad's car, dude?
Lee shrugs- I don't know, dude.
George- Where's your dad's car, dude?
Lee- I DONT KNOW, OKAY?! It was there last night.. wasn't it?
George and Fred shrug.
George- Well, lets not waste our time here.
Some guy falls from the roof of Lee's house.
Fred- Yeah, lets go trash our house.
Lee- Okay.
Later, after they have apparated to the Weasley's house.
Pixel- What? They can't apparate!
Author- Of course they can, you silly girl.
Pixel- Bu-
Author- On with the story!
George Fred and Lee walk into the house, where a rabid monkey is terrorizing the house to shreds.
Percy- NOOO! I must maintain order!
Lee gets a vision of Percy- Ack! It burns! *rubs his eyes*
Percy spots the 3- Ah, its about time you 3 showed up. Ive been waiting for you.
Fred snickers and George smirks.
Percy- What's so funny?
Fred- Oh, nothing.
George straightens up- Hey, um, Perc, we can't find Lee's dad's car. What do you think we should do?
Perc- Well, its about time you started asking for my opinion.
Lee- O.O We don't want ALL of your opinions.just the one about the car.
Perc- Yeah, well. If you ask me, I think you'd better-
Fred- So, youre saying we should go on a road trip to find the car and along the way meet many strange people and risk getting mugged and have all 3 of us find the love of our lives? Oh, great plan Percy. *sarcastic*
Perc- No, that's not what I was going to say at all, I was saying-
George- Question! What are we going to take the road trip in? We don't have the car!
Perc- Will you listen to me? Im just-
Lee- We never should have asked your opinion, your such a git!
Perc storms off and leaves- : -(
George- Come to think of it, a road trip may not be such a bad idea.
Fred- Your right. But how would we go?
Lee- Duh, use your dad's muggle car!
George- Oi corro! ((So smart!))
Fred- Sukena! ((Sweet!))
Lee- Mushi! Mai mai len tu biesco en su len len de hauro!!! ((Dude!!!)))
As the brainless buddies prepared for they're big trip, an author sat at home, feeling the cold chill of failure run down her spine.
Author- Well, there it is. Chapter one. I'm so proud!
Lee- Hey, baby cakes, whats up?
Author- Don't talk to me! I know the whole dream about that Filch you were having!
Lee- What? How did you find out?!
Author- How did I find out? How did I find out?! I invented it, you numbskull! Mushi! Mai mai len tu biesco en su len len de hauro!!! You are a sucky boyfriend!!!!!!
Crickets chirp
Lee- But how do you REALLY feel???
Author- RRRR! *whacks Lee with a broomstick*
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Please R/R! If I get enough reviews on this, I might add another story where Lee is not a perverted butt munch who digs on Filch and actually gets the girl. MWAHAHA! PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im feeling really desperate for reviews! Check out mah other stories too, please.
Chapter 2 soon to come (?)!!!!!
Disclaimer- The characters arent mine.except for Lee, he is ALL mine! *goes off to snog with Lee* The original idea is, DUH, from the movie "Dude, Where My Car?" but I have remastered it and made it better by adding Fred, George, Lee, some O/P slash and Mac, the Macaroni Man.
Warning- Oliver/Percy SLASH. Don't like it, don't read it. That's the policy.
Chapter 1- Dude..
Lee, sleeping wearing only half on, half off boxers- Oh yeah, baby, that's-
Author- O.O Ah, the simple pleasures of life. *goggles at Lee's goodies*
Lee- the spot, right there, m-hmm.
George- Hehe.This'll wake him up for sure.
Fred- Shh!
Fred and George lifted the fish tank up over the sleeping Lee Jordan's head.
Lee- That's it baby, I like it, you know I do-
Fred- Who do you reckon he's dreaming about?
George- Probably Filch and Angelina.
Fred- At the same time?! Weak.
Then they dumped it over Lee.
Lee, still asleep- Mm, Filch, was that you? Hmm, musta been me.
Fred- Aw, sick.
George- Why didn't he wake up?
Fred- Maybe he created an immunity to water.
George- He's not smart enough to do that.
Fred kicks Lee.
Lee flutters his eyes open- Ow, what was that for?
Fred- Oh, sorry, didn't mean to disturb you and Filch. *snickers*
Lee- O.O Um, I have to go, um, something suddenly came up. *runs away to his room*
Later, after they're all dressed.
Lee- Man, that was some party we had last night.
He looked around and saw McDonalds wrappers, paper, cups and trash strewn across the floor.
Fred- Yeah, your parents should suddenly die of a severe case of poison ivy more often.
Lee- Yeah.
George- Does anyone actually remember what happened last night?
Crickets Chirp.
Lee- All I remember is you getting a little busy with the pizza delivery guy, George.
George- No, that was Fred.
Lee- Really?
Fred beams.
Lee- Hey, what's this?
Lee pulls a video tape out of the twin's bag.
Fred grins- That, my friend, is a tape we planted in Percy's room. We wanted to see what kind of stuff he was up to, spending all his time in there like a robot, and the night we planted it, we heard some stuff coming out of Percy's room.
Lee- Have you looked at it yet?
George- No, but were about to.
He popped it in Lee's VCR and the tv flickered on.
On the television-
Percy runs around his room frantically, appears to be looking for something. He sighs deeply as he picks up a long brunette wig from the bottom of his dresser.
(Lee, George & Fred- 0.o?)
There's a tap on his window.
"Hold on a second!" Percy whispers and hurriedly puts the wig and some lipstick on.
(Lee, George & Fred- 0.o?)
Percy then runs to the window and opens it, and who comes in, but-
"Oh, Oliver, Im so glad you could make it!" Percy shrieked.
(Lee, George & Fred- 0.0!!!!!!!!!)
"How could you have found the time to get here with such a busy schedule?" Percy asked.
"I would give up my broomstick for you, doll face." Oliver said dreamily.
"Would you give up quidditch for me, too?"
There was a long pause.
"As I said, I'd give up my broomstick for you."
They immediately start snogging and the snogging leads to some really graphic stuff. So graphic, I wouldn't be able to keep the rating R, let alone PG 13, so I won't talk about it. I think you get the picture.
After about a half hour, the tape runs out of film.
Lee, George and Fred- :o
George- My dear lord.
Lee- It burns!!!!! *rubs his eyes insanely*
Fred- Make it stop! *tries to erase his memory*
Later that day-
Lee, George and Fred walk out of the house.
George- That was sick. I knew Perce was kind of disturbed, but that was freaky!
Fred- Yeah, no wonder Wood was always so easy on us!
George- Wood was never easy on us.
Fred- Oh yeah.
Lee- I never want to see anything like that- EVER- again.
They all pause.
George- Dude, where's your dad's car???
Lee looks around- Dude, I don't know.
Fred- Where's your dad's car, dude?
Lee shrugs- I don't know, dude.
George- Where's your dad's car, dude?
Lee- I DONT KNOW, OKAY?! It was there last night.. wasn't it?
George and Fred shrug.
George- Well, lets not waste our time here.
Some guy falls from the roof of Lee's house.
Fred- Yeah, lets go trash our house.
Lee- Okay.
Later, after they have apparated to the Weasley's house.
Pixel- What? They can't apparate!
Author- Of course they can, you silly girl.
Pixel- Bu-
Author- On with the story!
George Fred and Lee walk into the house, where a rabid monkey is terrorizing the house to shreds.
Percy- NOOO! I must maintain order!
Lee gets a vision of Percy- Ack! It burns! *rubs his eyes*
Percy spots the 3- Ah, its about time you 3 showed up. Ive been waiting for you.
Fred snickers and George smirks.
Percy- What's so funny?
Fred- Oh, nothing.
George straightens up- Hey, um, Perc, we can't find Lee's dad's car. What do you think we should do?
Perc- Well, its about time you started asking for my opinion.
Lee- O.O We don't want ALL of your opinions.just the one about the car.
Perc- Yeah, well. If you ask me, I think you'd better-
Fred- So, youre saying we should go on a road trip to find the car and along the way meet many strange people and risk getting mugged and have all 3 of us find the love of our lives? Oh, great plan Percy. *sarcastic*
Perc- No, that's not what I was going to say at all, I was saying-
George- Question! What are we going to take the road trip in? We don't have the car!
Perc- Will you listen to me? Im just-
Lee- We never should have asked your opinion, your such a git!
Perc storms off and leaves- : -(
George- Come to think of it, a road trip may not be such a bad idea.
Fred- Your right. But how would we go?
Lee- Duh, use your dad's muggle car!
George- Oi corro! ((So smart!))
Fred- Sukena! ((Sweet!))
Lee- Mushi! Mai mai len tu biesco en su len len de hauro!!! ((Dude!!!)))
As the brainless buddies prepared for they're big trip, an author sat at home, feeling the cold chill of failure run down her spine.
Author- Well, there it is. Chapter one. I'm so proud!
Lee- Hey, baby cakes, whats up?
Author- Don't talk to me! I know the whole dream about that Filch you were having!
Lee- What? How did you find out?!
Author- How did I find out? How did I find out?! I invented it, you numbskull! Mushi! Mai mai len tu biesco en su len len de hauro!!! You are a sucky boyfriend!!!!!!
Crickets chirp
Lee- But how do you REALLY feel???
Author- RRRR! *whacks Lee with a broomstick*
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Please R/R! If I get enough reviews on this, I might add another story where Lee is not a perverted butt munch who digs on Filch and actually gets the girl. MWAHAHA! PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im feeling really desperate for reviews! Check out mah other stories too, please.
Chapter 2 soon to come (?)!!!!!