SEPERATION OF SIBBLINGS
By Mikila
Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ, don't want to.
Warning: Sap content, OOCness of characters--especially Vegeta. No swearing. This one follows after "Bulma's Last Picnic" and makes much more sense if you've read That. It also makes more sense (or more reason for allowance of so much sap) if you've read Vegeta's Promise. BTW: High doses of sap in this story.
Flamers: If you ignore the warning, I ignore you.
"Stop," Trunks elbowed his four year old sister.
"Trunks!" Vegeta snapped, giving him a hard glare.
Trunks looked at him with indignance, then scowled, folding his arms tight across his chest.
"Stop that behavior, immediately. You are seventeen years old and we are in public," Vegeta spoke quietly and very firmly.
Trunks was furious. He looked at his father with hurt and anger, then stood.
"Trunks, sit down right now!" Vegeta was loosing patience. "We're having a family dinner!"
"Oh, didn't know I was part of the family," Trunks muttered, ignoring his father.
Bulma stood before Vegeta could react. "Don't, Vegeta, he's at a delicate age. Give him some space. He'll calm down."
Vegeta glared at his son's retreating form for a few seconds. Things had been different between them lately and he hated it. Deep down he wished Trunks would have stayed a child and not become a teenager. At least Bura was still little.
"Daddy, lookit!" Bura held up a packet of suger she had emptied on herself.
"Bura, honey, don't do that," Bulma instructed.
Vegeta lifted his daughter into his lap. Trunks turned watching the scene for a couple seconds. He missed the time he'd used to spend with his father. But Vegeta no longer wanted it. He didn't care about Trunks anymore. Bura was enough for him. Trunks left the restaraunt and flew home, sitting in his room with the music blasting so
nobody could hear his cries if they came home.
* * * * *
"Trunks, can we talk?" Bulma opened the door when Trunks didn't answer her knocking.
He looked up, eyes full of pain he was trying to hide. "About what?" his voice was low as he turned his head away again.
"Tonight. What happened?"
Trunks sighed. "Mom...," he hesitated, then turned to look at her, with almost a pleading face and tone. "Bura was poking me and all I did was tell her to stop...and I didn't even do it at first. I WAS being patient and Dad yelled at ME. Bura never ever gets yelled at."
"Honey, it was just one time. Your father makes mistakes..."
"He ALWAYS does this! No matter what Bura does, she doesn't get in trouble. I get screamed at when I even LOOK at her wrong!"
Bulma sighed. She wasn't sure what to say. "Give him a break, Trunks. He's just trying to be a good father. He doesn't know what he's doing."
"Yeah, to BURA! He doesn't even know I'm alive anymore, Mom! He doesn't care!"
"Now that's enough," Bulma hardened her voice. "You KNOW that isn't true."
"Actions speak louder than words, Mom. Everything I do is wrong. Dad just thinks I'm a big screw-up. He didn't even want me! I was an accident!" Trunks walked to the door. "I wish I was never born," he muttered, opening the door and slamming into his father's stomach.
He took a step back, a little surprised by his presence. He quickly hardened his features even though he felt on-edge as he looked at his father's fuming face. He turned to walk in the opposite direction, but his mother was blocking him, a hard expression as well. Trunks sighed and backed against the wall, between the two, crossing his arms and
looking down in frustration. "Now what'd I do?" he mumbled.
"I'm not going to having you talking in such a way, do you hear me?" Bulma lectured.
"Fine," Trunks answered in a low voice. He tried again to walk away, but she blocked him.
"I'm not satisfied, young man."
"Well what the *heck* do you want from me?" Trunks was irritated.
"Don't speak to your mother like that," Vegeta growled.
Trunks threw his arms in the air, rolling his eyes as he again moved to the wall.
"That statement was as good as a suicide threat, Trunks, and you PROMISED me you wouldn't do that, do you remember?" Bulma continued.
Trunks let out a frustrated breath.
"Do you?"
"Mom, I'm not breaking any promises...even if I DO have grounds."
"You do NOT have grounds!" Vegeta interupted, angrier now.
Trunks glanced at him with disgust, then continued looking down, muttering, "Whatever."
Vegeta grabbed his ear. "That's it!"
Trunks yelped, stance quickly changing. He was lead to the gravity chamber and pushed inside. Vegeta shut the door and stared at his son as he rubbed his ear with a scowl.
"Start talking," Vegeta ordered.
"There's nothing to say!" Trunks retorted.
"Obviously there is when I hear you talking about having grounds to break your promise! And what the *heck* is this crap about not wanting to be born?!"
"It's too late for that one, Dad. I WAS born. Sorry!"
"What is going on with you?!"
"There's a novel question," Trunks turned his back.
Vegeta reappeared in front of his son. "Why?"
"Why what?!" Trunks was irritated.
"WHY is that a novel question?!" Vegeta was loosing patience.
"Like you REALLY care what's going on with ME! Go play with Bura and leave me alone!" Trunks turned his back again and started walking. But Vegeta appeared in front of him. He turned again, but Vegeta appeared there too, and again a third time. Trunks let out a frustrated scream. "Just go away!"
Vegeta slapped his face. Trunks looked at him with surprise and a touch of anger; just the response Vegeta wanted from him. Now he was paying attention. "I will NOT go away until you tell me why you're behaving like this! I want to know why you think you shouldn't have been born, because I disagree with that one-thousand percent!"
"Because of you!" Trunks yelled. "You didn't want me! I was an accident!"
"I did TOO want you!" Vegeta spat.
"Fine, maybe you DID, but you don't NOW! All you care about now is Bura!"
"What the *HECK* are you talking about?!"
"Nothing I do is good enough for you! And every time Bura is bugging me and I tell her to stop you yell at ME! She NEVER gets in trouble for ANYTHING! I get in trouble for EVERYTHING! Especially where's SHE's concerned!"
"That's not true!"
"YES IT IS! If I wanted too, I DO have every grounds for killing myself! You said my end of the bargain was up if you stopped loving me!" Trunks forced back a strong oncoming of tears.
Vegeta roughly grabbed his son's shoulders. "I said if you ASKED me and I said NO, you're end was up! You have NEVER asked me! I have NEVER said I don't love you!"
"You don't have to, Dad! Your actions speak a lot louder than your words!"
Trunks tried to wipe his eye, feeling a little water building up.
Vegeta gave him a hard shake, forcing his vision back to him. "The DEAL said you have to ASK and I have to say NO!"
"FINE!" Trunks screamed, then he mimiced the question he now found completely rediculous. "Do you still love me?"
"YES, *gosh darnit*, I DO! Do you hear me?! I DO still love you!"
A few tears escaped his son's glare. "...I don't believe you."
"I don't give a *crap* whether or not you believe me! That doesn't change the *gosh darn* truth, Trunks!"
Trunks tried to back away, but Vegeta instead pulled him into a tight hug, using one arm to force the back of his head to his father's shoulder. He was loosing his fight against the on-slaught of tears. Trunks took in a couple breaths, then tried to back away. It quickly turned into a struggle when his father wouldn't let him.
"Let me go!" Trunks yelled. "Dad!!" He let out a scream as he gave a hard push. It still wasn't enough. Both had gone super sayain, and even super sayain 2, but Vegeta upped to super sayain 3, which Trunks couldn't do. Trunks started sobbing. He was quickly weakening. "Let go...," he tried one last time to push away before his legs gave out. He sank to the floor and Vegeta sank with him.
"I can't. My words aren't enough for you...THIS is an action."
Trunks couldn't fight anymore, not right now. He felt incredibly uncomfortable in the situation, but his feelings were coming on too strong for him to do anything more until he calmed down. Unfortunately it would HAVE to be in his father's arms. He let his head fall on his father's shoulder. His body shook with his sobs, but Vegeta's hold was firm.
Trunks tried to ease the oddness of it by imagining he was younger. But it didn't help. Remembering how secure he'd used to feel in his father's arms only made his heart ache more. When Bura was born that had mostly stopped. He was thirteen then. He
should have been old enough to not care, but he wasn't. He should have been
too old to care NOW, at seventeen! Still, deep down, he wanted to be held. Yet here and now...it didn't feel right. It hurt.
The onslaught lasted a long time and his father's hold never wavered, not even for a second. Just when he'd thought he could gain composure, another wave of awful pain would come and overtake him again. His face burned. It had been more than half an hour now. Finally it was coming to an end. Trunks felt drained in every way. He stared blankly looking at the wall from the sideways view he had of it.
"Trunks...tell me...was all that pain caused by me?" Vegeta asked, sensing that it was finally ending.
The question surprised Trunks. He lifted his head, thinking about it, then turned his vision to look at Vegeta straight on. Even he was a tad surprised by the answer. "Yes."
A hurt look that nobody but Trunks would have caught passed through his father's eyes. "What are the things that I've done to you? ...to cause that much hurt." Trunks could tell it was a very difficult thing for his father to ask.
This was his chance. He wouldn't miss it. Trunks drew in a long breath.
"Tell me from the beginning," Vegeta promted. "From the earliest sources."
"...Well...you never...," Trunks was having difficulty saying such words. He hadn't EVER talked about feelings with his father! Not like this anyway. He swallowed. "You never held me when I was little. The first time I remember was...after Majin Buu...kinda before too, but that was different," Trunks shook the memory out of his head. "And then of course there WAS everything about Majin Buu, but I'm mostly over that."
Vegeta knew this wasn't the half of it. "Go on..."
"Then everything was great for awhile, after I got kidnaped that first time, but it was bad too because I tasted what I'd missed and then...then Bura was born...and...it's not that I don't like her because I do. None of this is her fault...but..."
"Trunks, just say it, I won't get mad."
"Once she was born you forgot about me."
Vegeta bit his tongue. He had NEVER forgotten about Trunks! Not for a SECOND! In fact, Bura made him think about Trunks MORE often.
"You never held me anymore...I mean, I was thirteen, yeah, but...I still kinda... wanted it, you know?" Trunks was embarrassed that he'd still desired affection at an older age. "Then you started breaking your promise. The only time we spent together was training, except when we both watched Bura a couple times. But nothing like we used to anymore. You got too busy taking care of her to play video games, or go anywhere with me. Then you started getting mad all the time...," Trunks was on a roll, but he had to stop and take a few breaths so the feelings wouldn't rush back over him.
"The only time I ever saw you was when I was in trouble or getting my butt kicked in here. And I figured that out too, so I just got in trouble more often...but it wasn't the same. It was all wrong and it...well...it was just depressing. Then I stopped and tried for the old kind of attention, but you were always busy playing with Bura and I was too old for those games, or you'd tell me to stop messing around. And then I just gave up completely and Bura was old enough to learn the art of pestering, so she did, and *dang*! I have never seen ANYONE get away with it like her! She must be the most intelligent thing in the whole universe, I swear! She started jabbing at me so I did it back, and then I got in trouble. Then I learned to be more patient about it. Mom told me to ask her nicely to stop, so I tried that and it didn't work and I STILL got in trouble. I mean, yeah, I was getting attention again, but it was all the negative and all the possitive went to bura...it GOES to Bura! That's right now. She pesters, I finally get sick of it, I get in trouble, she gets held. It's the going pattern around here," Trunks sighed, looking away. "I mean, naturally... how am I supposed to think you really care when that's how I'm treated?"
Vegeta turned Trunks face back to his. "I'm sorry, son. I never knew I was doing
that to you." The two looked at each other for a few seconds. "Will you hear my side?"
Trunks waited a few seconds, unsure if he wanted to, then slowly nodded.
"When Bura was born I saw you in her. When I held her, I remembered holding you. It gave me that same feeling, only with Bura I didn't reject it. I encompassed it. I decided I was going to do it right this time. Every time I played with her, I was playing with you and every time I held her, I was holding you...I was trying to make up for everything I didn't do with you...as if somehow I could make the past right. But I've only been doing both of you wrong. I don't know Bura for who she is. I see her as my chance to correct the way I raised you. And in doing that...I went back into the past and forgot that I still have you NOW, as a teenager. I didn't want to admit...I DON'T want to admit I lost my chance to love you the way I should have when you were a child. And now I'm loosing my chance to love you as a teenager because my guilt from the past is so strong. It seems I'm ALWAYS ten years behind the present."
Trunks was speachless.
"I never forgot about you, Trunks...I thought about you even more, but I thought about who you used to be. I thought about the little boy I used to hear laughing and running at four years old and how I always wanted to hold him, but my pride kept me from it. I thought about the baby in his room crying and how I always wanted to go to him, but instead I left it entirely to your mother. And Bura was you...and you...the real you...didn't exist," Vegeta let out a sad chuckle. "I haven't even realised I have a daughter...a whole different person. I've never loved her for her." He looked up.
"I've always loved you for you. I want you to know that. It never seemed like it, I know, but it's the truth." Vegeta looked his son over and rested his gaze on his eyes. He looked sad and proud at the same time. "Look at you...you're almost grown completely...and I've somehow missed it. I've missed four years of your life...four CRITICAL years. If I could have one wish, Trunks...I would start over...from the beginning, with the knowledge I have now, and I would raise you right. I would read you
bed-time stories, comfort your nightmares..."
"You did, Dad."
Vegeta cracked a small smile. "Not as soon as I should have. I would tell you every day that I love you, and I would MEAN it, and I'd make sure you KNEW I meant it. And I would take you places...starting with the park. And I would be consistent from the very beginning. Then, when Bura is born, I would do the same for her. I would get to know who SHE was, but I wouldn't forget about you. I would still remember to take you places, and to hold you and tuck you in at night..."
"At thirteen?" Trunks smirked.
"I would KNOW you wanted me to, even if you protested...like now," Vegeta pulled Trunks back into a hug.
"Dad...," Trunks whined, pushing away.
Vegeta gave him a hard kiss on the side of the head. "Every day I would show you affection...like that. I'd love you so much, you'd be wishing I DIDN'T love you."
"*Dang*! I think you're right. Maybe I've got it pretty good NOW."
"Maybe not, Trunks," Vegeta gave him another hug and a kiss. "I think you've unleashed a monster in me."
Trunks backed away. "Dad, you don't have to be THAT affectionate. Come on, I'm seventeen."
"I know, but son, I just can't see you like that. Too me you're still a little boy...thirteen at the oldest and you still need affection."
"But not THAT much..."
"You just proved you do, Trunks."
"Well, I'll unprove it."
"Don't worry. I won't do it when people are around. I'll save it for home."
Trunks sighed. He'd unleashed a monster for SURE! He'd have to have a constant following of friends to keep his Dad away from his now! Deep down, he really
liked the thought. "Ok, Dad, can I go now, PLEASE?"
"All right, but just one more thing..."
Trunks stood, turning to him.
Vegeta smiled. "You're the air that I breath, Trunks. I love you," again he hugged him.
"Aw Dad! Go get hug happy with Bura! Honestly!" Trunks shook his head, hiding a smile.
* * * * *
"Play, play, play, Twunks," Bura tapped her brother's leg continually.
Trunks leaned his head back against the couch. "Mom...," he whined helplessly.
"Bura, honey, go play with your dolls," Bulma tried to help.
"No, I want Twunks to play...," Bura continued tapping his leg until he sat up.
"I can't play right now, Bura, I'm really tired. I've had a long day...," he paused. Why was he trying to explain this to a four year old? She obviously had no idea what he was talking about.
"Play aiwplane with me."
Trunks shook his head, leaning back again. "I'm too tired, Bura."
"Play...," she began tapping him again.
"Bura, please stop tapping me."
Bura smiled and continued, making it into a game.
Trunks moaned. "Mother, please..."
"Go in your room, Trunks," Bulma suggested.
"I DID! She followed me."
"Well...," Bulma thought.
"Play!" Bura continued.
"Bura!" everyone was surprised by Vegeta's gruff no-nonsense voice, especially Bura, who had never had it directed at her. "That's enough. Leave your brother alone,
he said he doesn't want to play."
"But I want to play...," Bura whined, turning on her puppy eyes.
"You have plenty of toys."
"But I want to play with Twunks!" Bura was becoming stubborn.
Trunks sighed. "How about hide and go seek? Go hide, Bura, I'm counting ...one...," he pretended to close his eyes, and opened them when she didn't respond.
"No, aiwplane, Twunks."
"I'm not playing airplane right now, ok? Maybe later."
"Now," Bura poked him again.
"What did I tell you, young lady?" Vegeta marched over to her and picked her up. Bura was confused. "I said no more. You're going to time-out."
Bura's eyes widened. Vegeta NEVER sent her to time-out, only Bulma did, and she had NEVER gotten in trouble for picking on Trunks. He was her giant doll, only tonight he wasn't cooperating very well. "But I want to play aiwplane with Twunks," she pouted.
"He doesn't want to."
"But I want to," Bura's face hardened.
"Don't you talk back to me or I'll spank you, understand?" Vegeta matched her stubborness ten times over.
Bura's eyes widened. Her father was actually punishing her! Vegeta carried his daughter around the couch. He stopped behind Trunks and ruffled his hair, then kissed the top of his head before continuing off toward Bura's room. Trunks, surprised by the action turned and watched them go down the hallway. Bulma poked her head out of the kitchen, smiling. Trunks turned his surprised face toward Bulma.
"You see that Trunks? He DOES care."
Trunks smirked, turning back toward the TV. He knew.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
By Mikila
Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ, don't want to.
Warning: Sap content, OOCness of characters--especially Vegeta. No swearing. This one follows after "Bulma's Last Picnic" and makes much more sense if you've read That. It also makes more sense (or more reason for allowance of so much sap) if you've read Vegeta's Promise. BTW: High doses of sap in this story.
Flamers: If you ignore the warning, I ignore you.
"Stop," Trunks elbowed his four year old sister.
"Trunks!" Vegeta snapped, giving him a hard glare.
Trunks looked at him with indignance, then scowled, folding his arms tight across his chest.
"Stop that behavior, immediately. You are seventeen years old and we are in public," Vegeta spoke quietly and very firmly.
Trunks was furious. He looked at his father with hurt and anger, then stood.
"Trunks, sit down right now!" Vegeta was loosing patience. "We're having a family dinner!"
"Oh, didn't know I was part of the family," Trunks muttered, ignoring his father.
Bulma stood before Vegeta could react. "Don't, Vegeta, he's at a delicate age. Give him some space. He'll calm down."
Vegeta glared at his son's retreating form for a few seconds. Things had been different between them lately and he hated it. Deep down he wished Trunks would have stayed a child and not become a teenager. At least Bura was still little.
"Daddy, lookit!" Bura held up a packet of suger she had emptied on herself.
"Bura, honey, don't do that," Bulma instructed.
Vegeta lifted his daughter into his lap. Trunks turned watching the scene for a couple seconds. He missed the time he'd used to spend with his father. But Vegeta no longer wanted it. He didn't care about Trunks anymore. Bura was enough for him. Trunks left the restaraunt and flew home, sitting in his room with the music blasting so
nobody could hear his cries if they came home.
* * * * *
"Trunks, can we talk?" Bulma opened the door when Trunks didn't answer her knocking.
He looked up, eyes full of pain he was trying to hide. "About what?" his voice was low as he turned his head away again.
"Tonight. What happened?"
Trunks sighed. "Mom...," he hesitated, then turned to look at her, with almost a pleading face and tone. "Bura was poking me and all I did was tell her to stop...and I didn't even do it at first. I WAS being patient and Dad yelled at ME. Bura never ever gets yelled at."
"Honey, it was just one time. Your father makes mistakes..."
"He ALWAYS does this! No matter what Bura does, she doesn't get in trouble. I get screamed at when I even LOOK at her wrong!"
Bulma sighed. She wasn't sure what to say. "Give him a break, Trunks. He's just trying to be a good father. He doesn't know what he's doing."
"Yeah, to BURA! He doesn't even know I'm alive anymore, Mom! He doesn't care!"
"Now that's enough," Bulma hardened her voice. "You KNOW that isn't true."
"Actions speak louder than words, Mom. Everything I do is wrong. Dad just thinks I'm a big screw-up. He didn't even want me! I was an accident!" Trunks walked to the door. "I wish I was never born," he muttered, opening the door and slamming into his father's stomach.
He took a step back, a little surprised by his presence. He quickly hardened his features even though he felt on-edge as he looked at his father's fuming face. He turned to walk in the opposite direction, but his mother was blocking him, a hard expression as well. Trunks sighed and backed against the wall, between the two, crossing his arms and
looking down in frustration. "Now what'd I do?" he mumbled.
"I'm not going to having you talking in such a way, do you hear me?" Bulma lectured.
"Fine," Trunks answered in a low voice. He tried again to walk away, but she blocked him.
"I'm not satisfied, young man."
"Well what the *heck* do you want from me?" Trunks was irritated.
"Don't speak to your mother like that," Vegeta growled.
Trunks threw his arms in the air, rolling his eyes as he again moved to the wall.
"That statement was as good as a suicide threat, Trunks, and you PROMISED me you wouldn't do that, do you remember?" Bulma continued.
Trunks let out a frustrated breath.
"Do you?"
"Mom, I'm not breaking any promises...even if I DO have grounds."
"You do NOT have grounds!" Vegeta interupted, angrier now.
Trunks glanced at him with disgust, then continued looking down, muttering, "Whatever."
Vegeta grabbed his ear. "That's it!"
Trunks yelped, stance quickly changing. He was lead to the gravity chamber and pushed inside. Vegeta shut the door and stared at his son as he rubbed his ear with a scowl.
"Start talking," Vegeta ordered.
"There's nothing to say!" Trunks retorted.
"Obviously there is when I hear you talking about having grounds to break your promise! And what the *heck* is this crap about not wanting to be born?!"
"It's too late for that one, Dad. I WAS born. Sorry!"
"What is going on with you?!"
"There's a novel question," Trunks turned his back.
Vegeta reappeared in front of his son. "Why?"
"Why what?!" Trunks was irritated.
"WHY is that a novel question?!" Vegeta was loosing patience.
"Like you REALLY care what's going on with ME! Go play with Bura and leave me alone!" Trunks turned his back again and started walking. But Vegeta appeared in front of him. He turned again, but Vegeta appeared there too, and again a third time. Trunks let out a frustrated scream. "Just go away!"
Vegeta slapped his face. Trunks looked at him with surprise and a touch of anger; just the response Vegeta wanted from him. Now he was paying attention. "I will NOT go away until you tell me why you're behaving like this! I want to know why you think you shouldn't have been born, because I disagree with that one-thousand percent!"
"Because of you!" Trunks yelled. "You didn't want me! I was an accident!"
"I did TOO want you!" Vegeta spat.
"Fine, maybe you DID, but you don't NOW! All you care about now is Bura!"
"What the *HECK* are you talking about?!"
"Nothing I do is good enough for you! And every time Bura is bugging me and I tell her to stop you yell at ME! She NEVER gets in trouble for ANYTHING! I get in trouble for EVERYTHING! Especially where's SHE's concerned!"
"That's not true!"
"YES IT IS! If I wanted too, I DO have every grounds for killing myself! You said my end of the bargain was up if you stopped loving me!" Trunks forced back a strong oncoming of tears.
Vegeta roughly grabbed his son's shoulders. "I said if you ASKED me and I said NO, you're end was up! You have NEVER asked me! I have NEVER said I don't love you!"
"You don't have to, Dad! Your actions speak a lot louder than your words!"
Trunks tried to wipe his eye, feeling a little water building up.
Vegeta gave him a hard shake, forcing his vision back to him. "The DEAL said you have to ASK and I have to say NO!"
"FINE!" Trunks screamed, then he mimiced the question he now found completely rediculous. "Do you still love me?"
"YES, *gosh darnit*, I DO! Do you hear me?! I DO still love you!"
A few tears escaped his son's glare. "...I don't believe you."
"I don't give a *crap* whether or not you believe me! That doesn't change the *gosh darn* truth, Trunks!"
Trunks tried to back away, but Vegeta instead pulled him into a tight hug, using one arm to force the back of his head to his father's shoulder. He was loosing his fight against the on-slaught of tears. Trunks took in a couple breaths, then tried to back away. It quickly turned into a struggle when his father wouldn't let him.
"Let me go!" Trunks yelled. "Dad!!" He let out a scream as he gave a hard push. It still wasn't enough. Both had gone super sayain, and even super sayain 2, but Vegeta upped to super sayain 3, which Trunks couldn't do. Trunks started sobbing. He was quickly weakening. "Let go...," he tried one last time to push away before his legs gave out. He sank to the floor and Vegeta sank with him.
"I can't. My words aren't enough for you...THIS is an action."
Trunks couldn't fight anymore, not right now. He felt incredibly uncomfortable in the situation, but his feelings were coming on too strong for him to do anything more until he calmed down. Unfortunately it would HAVE to be in his father's arms. He let his head fall on his father's shoulder. His body shook with his sobs, but Vegeta's hold was firm.
Trunks tried to ease the oddness of it by imagining he was younger. But it didn't help. Remembering how secure he'd used to feel in his father's arms only made his heart ache more. When Bura was born that had mostly stopped. He was thirteen then. He
should have been old enough to not care, but he wasn't. He should have been
too old to care NOW, at seventeen! Still, deep down, he wanted to be held. Yet here and now...it didn't feel right. It hurt.
The onslaught lasted a long time and his father's hold never wavered, not even for a second. Just when he'd thought he could gain composure, another wave of awful pain would come and overtake him again. His face burned. It had been more than half an hour now. Finally it was coming to an end. Trunks felt drained in every way. He stared blankly looking at the wall from the sideways view he had of it.
"Trunks...tell me...was all that pain caused by me?" Vegeta asked, sensing that it was finally ending.
The question surprised Trunks. He lifted his head, thinking about it, then turned his vision to look at Vegeta straight on. Even he was a tad surprised by the answer. "Yes."
A hurt look that nobody but Trunks would have caught passed through his father's eyes. "What are the things that I've done to you? ...to cause that much hurt." Trunks could tell it was a very difficult thing for his father to ask.
This was his chance. He wouldn't miss it. Trunks drew in a long breath.
"Tell me from the beginning," Vegeta promted. "From the earliest sources."
"...Well...you never...," Trunks was having difficulty saying such words. He hadn't EVER talked about feelings with his father! Not like this anyway. He swallowed. "You never held me when I was little. The first time I remember was...after Majin Buu...kinda before too, but that was different," Trunks shook the memory out of his head. "And then of course there WAS everything about Majin Buu, but I'm mostly over that."
Vegeta knew this wasn't the half of it. "Go on..."
"Then everything was great for awhile, after I got kidnaped that first time, but it was bad too because I tasted what I'd missed and then...then Bura was born...and...it's not that I don't like her because I do. None of this is her fault...but..."
"Trunks, just say it, I won't get mad."
"Once she was born you forgot about me."
Vegeta bit his tongue. He had NEVER forgotten about Trunks! Not for a SECOND! In fact, Bura made him think about Trunks MORE often.
"You never held me anymore...I mean, I was thirteen, yeah, but...I still kinda... wanted it, you know?" Trunks was embarrassed that he'd still desired affection at an older age. "Then you started breaking your promise. The only time we spent together was training, except when we both watched Bura a couple times. But nothing like we used to anymore. You got too busy taking care of her to play video games, or go anywhere with me. Then you started getting mad all the time...," Trunks was on a roll, but he had to stop and take a few breaths so the feelings wouldn't rush back over him.
"The only time I ever saw you was when I was in trouble or getting my butt kicked in here. And I figured that out too, so I just got in trouble more often...but it wasn't the same. It was all wrong and it...well...it was just depressing. Then I stopped and tried for the old kind of attention, but you were always busy playing with Bura and I was too old for those games, or you'd tell me to stop messing around. And then I just gave up completely and Bura was old enough to learn the art of pestering, so she did, and *dang*! I have never seen ANYONE get away with it like her! She must be the most intelligent thing in the whole universe, I swear! She started jabbing at me so I did it back, and then I got in trouble. Then I learned to be more patient about it. Mom told me to ask her nicely to stop, so I tried that and it didn't work and I STILL got in trouble. I mean, yeah, I was getting attention again, but it was all the negative and all the possitive went to bura...it GOES to Bura! That's right now. She pesters, I finally get sick of it, I get in trouble, she gets held. It's the going pattern around here," Trunks sighed, looking away. "I mean, naturally... how am I supposed to think you really care when that's how I'm treated?"
Vegeta turned Trunks face back to his. "I'm sorry, son. I never knew I was doing
that to you." The two looked at each other for a few seconds. "Will you hear my side?"
Trunks waited a few seconds, unsure if he wanted to, then slowly nodded.
"When Bura was born I saw you in her. When I held her, I remembered holding you. It gave me that same feeling, only with Bura I didn't reject it. I encompassed it. I decided I was going to do it right this time. Every time I played with her, I was playing with you and every time I held her, I was holding you...I was trying to make up for everything I didn't do with you...as if somehow I could make the past right. But I've only been doing both of you wrong. I don't know Bura for who she is. I see her as my chance to correct the way I raised you. And in doing that...I went back into the past and forgot that I still have you NOW, as a teenager. I didn't want to admit...I DON'T want to admit I lost my chance to love you the way I should have when you were a child. And now I'm loosing my chance to love you as a teenager because my guilt from the past is so strong. It seems I'm ALWAYS ten years behind the present."
Trunks was speachless.
"I never forgot about you, Trunks...I thought about you even more, but I thought about who you used to be. I thought about the little boy I used to hear laughing and running at four years old and how I always wanted to hold him, but my pride kept me from it. I thought about the baby in his room crying and how I always wanted to go to him, but instead I left it entirely to your mother. And Bura was you...and you...the real you...didn't exist," Vegeta let out a sad chuckle. "I haven't even realised I have a daughter...a whole different person. I've never loved her for her." He looked up.
"I've always loved you for you. I want you to know that. It never seemed like it, I know, but it's the truth." Vegeta looked his son over and rested his gaze on his eyes. He looked sad and proud at the same time. "Look at you...you're almost grown completely...and I've somehow missed it. I've missed four years of your life...four CRITICAL years. If I could have one wish, Trunks...I would start over...from the beginning, with the knowledge I have now, and I would raise you right. I would read you
bed-time stories, comfort your nightmares..."
"You did, Dad."
Vegeta cracked a small smile. "Not as soon as I should have. I would tell you every day that I love you, and I would MEAN it, and I'd make sure you KNEW I meant it. And I would take you places...starting with the park. And I would be consistent from the very beginning. Then, when Bura is born, I would do the same for her. I would get to know who SHE was, but I wouldn't forget about you. I would still remember to take you places, and to hold you and tuck you in at night..."
"At thirteen?" Trunks smirked.
"I would KNOW you wanted me to, even if you protested...like now," Vegeta pulled Trunks back into a hug.
"Dad...," Trunks whined, pushing away.
Vegeta gave him a hard kiss on the side of the head. "Every day I would show you affection...like that. I'd love you so much, you'd be wishing I DIDN'T love you."
"*Dang*! I think you're right. Maybe I've got it pretty good NOW."
"Maybe not, Trunks," Vegeta gave him another hug and a kiss. "I think you've unleashed a monster in me."
Trunks backed away. "Dad, you don't have to be THAT affectionate. Come on, I'm seventeen."
"I know, but son, I just can't see you like that. Too me you're still a little boy...thirteen at the oldest and you still need affection."
"But not THAT much..."
"You just proved you do, Trunks."
"Well, I'll unprove it."
"Don't worry. I won't do it when people are around. I'll save it for home."
Trunks sighed. He'd unleashed a monster for SURE! He'd have to have a constant following of friends to keep his Dad away from his now! Deep down, he really
liked the thought. "Ok, Dad, can I go now, PLEASE?"
"All right, but just one more thing..."
Trunks stood, turning to him.
Vegeta smiled. "You're the air that I breath, Trunks. I love you," again he hugged him.
"Aw Dad! Go get hug happy with Bura! Honestly!" Trunks shook his head, hiding a smile.
* * * * *
"Play, play, play, Twunks," Bura tapped her brother's leg continually.
Trunks leaned his head back against the couch. "Mom...," he whined helplessly.
"Bura, honey, go play with your dolls," Bulma tried to help.
"No, I want Twunks to play...," Bura continued tapping his leg until he sat up.
"I can't play right now, Bura, I'm really tired. I've had a long day...," he paused. Why was he trying to explain this to a four year old? She obviously had no idea what he was talking about.
"Play aiwplane with me."
Trunks shook his head, leaning back again. "I'm too tired, Bura."
"Play...," she began tapping him again.
"Bura, please stop tapping me."
Bura smiled and continued, making it into a game.
Trunks moaned. "Mother, please..."
"Go in your room, Trunks," Bulma suggested.
"I DID! She followed me."
"Well...," Bulma thought.
"Play!" Bura continued.
"Bura!" everyone was surprised by Vegeta's gruff no-nonsense voice, especially Bura, who had never had it directed at her. "That's enough. Leave your brother alone,
he said he doesn't want to play."
"But I want to play...," Bura whined, turning on her puppy eyes.
"You have plenty of toys."
"But I want to play with Twunks!" Bura was becoming stubborn.
Trunks sighed. "How about hide and go seek? Go hide, Bura, I'm counting ...one...," he pretended to close his eyes, and opened them when she didn't respond.
"No, aiwplane, Twunks."
"I'm not playing airplane right now, ok? Maybe later."
"Now," Bura poked him again.
"What did I tell you, young lady?" Vegeta marched over to her and picked her up. Bura was confused. "I said no more. You're going to time-out."
Bura's eyes widened. Vegeta NEVER sent her to time-out, only Bulma did, and she had NEVER gotten in trouble for picking on Trunks. He was her giant doll, only tonight he wasn't cooperating very well. "But I want to play aiwplane with Twunks," she pouted.
"He doesn't want to."
"But I want to," Bura's face hardened.
"Don't you talk back to me or I'll spank you, understand?" Vegeta matched her stubborness ten times over.
Bura's eyes widened. Her father was actually punishing her! Vegeta carried his daughter around the couch. He stopped behind Trunks and ruffled his hair, then kissed the top of his head before continuing off toward Bura's room. Trunks, surprised by the action turned and watched them go down the hallway. Bulma poked her head out of the kitchen, smiling. Trunks turned his surprised face toward Bulma.
"You see that Trunks? He DOES care."
Trunks smirked, turning back toward the TV. He knew.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~