Hey, I'm sorry for the recap in this chapter, but some people I have
reading this haven't read the books, so I need to put these things in. If
you just can't stand to read it, tell me in a review and I'll add a summary
of this chapter. Book titles from now on are in ^.^ k? Cool.
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 6- Heart to Heart
"You can still call me by my first name," Snape said, grinning.
Sass raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I don't know it, since I'm assuming it's not Samuel."
He smacked his head and rolled his eyes, looking a little embarrassed. "Of course, I'd forgotten. It's Severus. And please, sit."
As Sass sat down, she saw Severus eyeing her, no doubt trying to see if she'd been getting enough to eat with Michelle and Emara. "I've been eating very well since I got adopted," she said bluntly, causing him to jump a little before sitting down himself. "Of course, I skipped dinner, so food would be perfectly welcome," she continued hopefully.
Severus laughed, a soft, gentle laugh that would have surprised those who didn't know him well. He was not a man who laughed very often, but when he did, it was a treat. Then he magicked up a several dishes of food, which she eagerly helped herself to before looking back up at him.
"You got the better part of my story today after class," she said, "but I still don't know that much about you. So tell. I want to hear everything you can stand to tell me, from childhood up."
So as she ate, she listened to his life story, starting a little when he mentioned his rivalry with James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Rumus Lupin, though he wasn't telling her everything, she felt.
"Isn't James Potter the father of Harry Potter? And are you talking about Lupin who teaches at this school?" she asked. Severus nodded. "Ah, so that's the reason behind 'Snape's legendary hatred of Harry Potter.'"
Severus nodded. "The four of them were the most arrogant brats I'd ever met. We hated each other right from the start. " He continued, describing some of the things they'd done to each other, including the time Sirius Black tried to kill him, and Severus' subsequent discovery that- Severus stopped talking suddenly, and Sass wondered what he had kept from her, but nodded for him to continue. He told her that he'd become a Death Eater under Lord Voldemort, and how he had turned spy for Dumbledore about two years before the Dark Lord's downfall.
"But why?" Sass asked. "Why did you turn? I know it was the right thing, but there must have been something that convinced you to go over."
Severus' face clouded. "It was Halloween night. Lord Voldemort had planned an attack on a hospital in London that was particularly popular with witches. We swept in, hooded and cloaked as always. He instructed us very carefully. 'Kill only the adults,' he'd said. 'Leave the babies alive.' After we were done, he went to the nursery. Then he did something that completely disgusted me. He set each and every babe afire, and used that power, with help from us, to put a curse on the room. Babes delivered in that hospital on Halloween between sunset and midnight, he decreed, would be orphaned sometime in the first six months of their life. I was horrified. I always did have a soft spot for children- he probably should have ordered me to stay home that night.
"The next day I apparated to outside Hogwarts and went straight to Dumbledore. He didn't trust me at first, but since I always told him the truth, he eventually came to rely on my spying. It was me who told him that there was a leak in /his/ system. I had no idea who, but I was sure there was. I tipped him off that Voldemort was after the Potters. I hated James, but I had come to understand that no one deserved the death that Lord Voldemort dealt out. But it turned out it was for nothing. Sirius Black, Potter's best friend, was the leak. They had used him to help them hide, and he betrayed them." Severus' face twisted bitterly. "They never deserved that. I know what Voldemort did to his victims before he killed them. I would wish that on no one."
Then he sighed, and let the anger drain from his frame, slumping back in his chair. "After Voldemort fell, Dumbledore vouched for me, so I was not accused of being a Death Eater. But we agreed I had better lie low for several years until it all died down. So I pretended to be a muggle, and taught in orphanages all over London. I always felt the worst about the hospital. I thought that perhaps I could make up for what I had done by helping another orphan be successful. But no one ever really touched my heart, until."
"Me," Sass said quietly.
Severus smiled a little. "Yes, Sass," he said quietly. "You. And now, I have to ask you if you still want to talk to me."
"Why?" Sass asked, surprised.
"Because I think everything wrong in your life is my fault. The hospital we attacked burned down several years after Voldemort's downfall, but I always searched for children born on Halloween."
Sass inhaled sharply. "I was born on Halloween," she said, her voice shaking.
He nodded. "I checked your records after I found out. It was that hospital. And you were born at eleven fifty-two p.m. Sass- I'm sorry." She could see the naked anguish in his eyes.
She tucked her knees up to her chest and curled up into a small ball. "It's alright," she said, holding back tears. "I understand. Good people do terrible things sometimes, and- well, you made up for it." She tried to smile a little, without success. Severus made a motion as if to stand up, then sank back down.
"Do you hate me?" he asked quietly, looking at her.
Sass thought long and hard. She did not want to lie to him. After what seemed like hours she looked up and met his eyes squarely. "No. I hate what you did. I hate Lord Voldemort. I do not hate you. I have a great deal of respect for you. You felt one way, but something changed your mind. You had the courage to admit this, and act on it, endangering yourself in the process. When you got the chance, you tried to help those that you hurt. And," she added, "you had the courage to tell me the truth, which I appreciate more than you can know. So," she reached her hand across the table, putting her feet back on the floor, "are we friends?"
Severus reached out and grasped her hand, smiling. "I'd like that," he said. "Thank you, Sass. You are wise beyond your years.
"Now, on a completely different note, I want to talk to you about your class schedule." At Sass' puzzled look, he continued. "Do you remember the lists I gave you to memorize? After Kincaid said he wanted you to have a better memory?" Sass nodded. "Well, for lack of anything better to use, I made those lists the brewing of simple potions." He nodded as understanding dawned on her face. "You are already as advanced in Potions and Herbology as a graduating second year. I have talked to both Professor Sprout and Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Sprout is delighted. I think Albus will agree to my plan- he said he'd think about it."
Sass gasped. "You mean-"
Severus grinned. "Starting next week, you have Potions and Herbology with the third years. Now, this means you will have to take History of Magic with them, but it also means you have several free periods, namely when they are in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfigurations. You will still be in those classes of your own, and one Herbology class with the first years every week, but I was wondering- would you like to go to those classes anyway?"
Sass frowned for a minute, then grinned. "Sure! Why not? After all, I may need that knowledge next year for scheduling. So what I really need to do," she paused, "is hit my history books."
Severus nodded. "I thought you might like this arrangement. This way I can teach you so much more than if you were in your regular classes. Just. have you ever met Professor Dumbledore, before you came to Hogwarts?"
"No, why?"
"Well, I expect it's nothing, it's just- well, he didn't really seem to like you. He can't have a problem with making an exception; he's done that enough times for Potter... He just seemed reluctant to put you in the advanced classes. And I wondered if he'd already gotten a bad impression of you."
Sass shrugged. "I dunno. I can't think of why he wouldn't like me, unless it has something to do with my history. How much did you talk to him about me, when you left the orphanage?"
"Not that much, actually. He obviously felt really bad for you, and I didn't want to bring it up. Bad enough that I couldn't stop thinking about it, I didn't think there was any reason to worry him." Severus paused. "But what could that have to do with anything?" Sass sighed. "I don't know Severus, I just don't." Then she started to yawn. She hid it, but not before Severus noticed.
"God, it's almost two in the morning! No wonder you're tired. Go on," he said, shooing her out of his office, "back to sleep. If Filch catches you, send him to me. Good night," he said, opening the door for her. "Sleep well."
Sass grinned back at him as she exited. "Don't worry," she said. "I will."
* * * * *
Sass couldn't wait for her new classes. She studied her history books intently, in addition to- well, everything except for Charms and Wizard Basics. She continued to meet about every other night with Severus, though, and after the third time Filch brought her back to Severus' office, he simply started ignoring her when he saw her out after hours. The only person she told about her schedule changes was Sandy, although she was a little nervous about it. She and Sandra were becoming good friends, despite the other first years, who had persisted in ignoring Sass ever since their Potions lesson. Sass supposed that Jessica and Marisa, the twins, had spread it around that Sass was sucking up to the Gryffindors' least favorite teacher, namely, Severus.
Sass didn't worry about it, though she expected she would once she stopped having to play catch-up for her classes. As it was, she ordered ^The Standard Book of Spells^ in the nest two levels, plus a bunch of extra history books, and concentrated on committing as much as she could to memory. Monday afternoon was her first new class, History of Magic. The class was boring- it was taught by a ghost who had simply left his body behind one morning as he went to teach- but not horrible. Sass managed to stay awake throughout, and take some semblance of good notes.
However, the /really/ bad part started right afterwards. As the class filed out of the room, Sass noticed several people giving her funny looks, especially the girls, who were more observant. Finally it came to a head as a third-year girl named Parvati Patil walked right up to her and said, "What are you doing in our class? You're a first year."
Sass would have blushed if she hadn't been steeling herself for this very moment. Instead she replied evenly, "I have been moved up in several classes to this level, and so due to scheduling, I am taking five subjects with you."
People who had been watching the exchange curiously drew back in horror, as if Sass had a terrible disease that might spread to them. Parvati looked disgusted. "I suppose this is all because you keep sucking up to Snape?"
Sass sighed. There was no point in trying to explain to them, they wouldn't believe her even if she tried. So she said simply, "Yes."
Parvati looked a little taken aback at that, but after a moment, she turned on her heel and left, as though she couldn't stand to be in Sass' company for a moment more. Sass walked down the hall, her expression unchanged, but inwardly she cried at the way the third years were drawing back from her with loathing expressions on their faces. /By this time next week/, she thought, /I bet there's not a single student in the school who doesn't cringe at the sight of me, Ginny and Sandra included/. She turned into a little-used corridor and walked glumly down it. /Not that I blame them. But- why can't people just be a little more accepting?/ She saw a bathroom on her right and stepped in, figuring it was as good a place to be upset as any. She was a little surprised, though, at the state of decay it was in. The mirror was spotty, the sinks were chipped, and one of the doors was hanging off its hinges. Sass shrugged inwardly. At least no one would be interrupting her.
Suddenly, a /ghost/ flew through one of the stall doors, looking at Sass with curiosity. Sass knew that there were many ghosts at Hogwarts, but she had never actually seen one before, except, of course, for the History teacher. "Who are you?" Sass asked.
The ghost, a slightly chubby girl with a dismal face, frowned. "I'm Myrtle," she said. "But who are /you/? /No/ one comes in here to pee anymore."
Sass shrugged. "My name is Sass. I'm sorta upset and this was the closest place where I could be assured some privacy. Do you- er- /live/ here?"
Myrtle nodded. "I died here, so this is where I live. That's the way it works." Then she looked hard at Sass. "Do- you want to talk about it?" she asked. "I used to come in here a lot to cry and I just /hated/ not having anyone to talk to."
"Sure, why not?" Sass sighed. Then she perched on one of the sinks. "Well, I'm a first year here, in Gryffindor, that is."
Several hours later, Sass' stomach gave a loud rumble, bringing her back to earth. She and Myrtle had gotten on quite well, one thing leading to another, and she had completely lost track of time. "Hey, Myrtle?" she said when there was a break in the conversation. "I have to go, or I'll miss dinner. I'll come see you again sometime, and feel free to visit me whenever." She jumped off the sink and headed for the door, waving. "See you!" As Myrtle waved goodbye, Sass smiled, much happier now that she had been before. She even whistled a soft tune as she went down to the Great Hall, ready to deal with the other students.
* * * * *
On Tuesday evening after a dismal dinner, in which Jessica had 'accidentally' dumped a bowl of mashed potatoes in Sass' lap, Sass headed for Professor Lupin's office. She really didn't feel like talking about dementors or anything else, but a promise /was/ a promise.
She knocked softly, unnerved by the silence within. There was no answer, so she slowly pushed the door open.
~~~
What's in there? Go read the next chapter to find out! And PLEASE! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 6- Heart to Heart
"You can still call me by my first name," Snape said, grinning.
Sass raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I don't know it, since I'm assuming it's not Samuel."
He smacked his head and rolled his eyes, looking a little embarrassed. "Of course, I'd forgotten. It's Severus. And please, sit."
As Sass sat down, she saw Severus eyeing her, no doubt trying to see if she'd been getting enough to eat with Michelle and Emara. "I've been eating very well since I got adopted," she said bluntly, causing him to jump a little before sitting down himself. "Of course, I skipped dinner, so food would be perfectly welcome," she continued hopefully.
Severus laughed, a soft, gentle laugh that would have surprised those who didn't know him well. He was not a man who laughed very often, but when he did, it was a treat. Then he magicked up a several dishes of food, which she eagerly helped herself to before looking back up at him.
"You got the better part of my story today after class," she said, "but I still don't know that much about you. So tell. I want to hear everything you can stand to tell me, from childhood up."
So as she ate, she listened to his life story, starting a little when he mentioned his rivalry with James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Rumus Lupin, though he wasn't telling her everything, she felt.
"Isn't James Potter the father of Harry Potter? And are you talking about Lupin who teaches at this school?" she asked. Severus nodded. "Ah, so that's the reason behind 'Snape's legendary hatred of Harry Potter.'"
Severus nodded. "The four of them were the most arrogant brats I'd ever met. We hated each other right from the start. " He continued, describing some of the things they'd done to each other, including the time Sirius Black tried to kill him, and Severus' subsequent discovery that- Severus stopped talking suddenly, and Sass wondered what he had kept from her, but nodded for him to continue. He told her that he'd become a Death Eater under Lord Voldemort, and how he had turned spy for Dumbledore about two years before the Dark Lord's downfall.
"But why?" Sass asked. "Why did you turn? I know it was the right thing, but there must have been something that convinced you to go over."
Severus' face clouded. "It was Halloween night. Lord Voldemort had planned an attack on a hospital in London that was particularly popular with witches. We swept in, hooded and cloaked as always. He instructed us very carefully. 'Kill only the adults,' he'd said. 'Leave the babies alive.' After we were done, he went to the nursery. Then he did something that completely disgusted me. He set each and every babe afire, and used that power, with help from us, to put a curse on the room. Babes delivered in that hospital on Halloween between sunset and midnight, he decreed, would be orphaned sometime in the first six months of their life. I was horrified. I always did have a soft spot for children- he probably should have ordered me to stay home that night.
"The next day I apparated to outside Hogwarts and went straight to Dumbledore. He didn't trust me at first, but since I always told him the truth, he eventually came to rely on my spying. It was me who told him that there was a leak in /his/ system. I had no idea who, but I was sure there was. I tipped him off that Voldemort was after the Potters. I hated James, but I had come to understand that no one deserved the death that Lord Voldemort dealt out. But it turned out it was for nothing. Sirius Black, Potter's best friend, was the leak. They had used him to help them hide, and he betrayed them." Severus' face twisted bitterly. "They never deserved that. I know what Voldemort did to his victims before he killed them. I would wish that on no one."
Then he sighed, and let the anger drain from his frame, slumping back in his chair. "After Voldemort fell, Dumbledore vouched for me, so I was not accused of being a Death Eater. But we agreed I had better lie low for several years until it all died down. So I pretended to be a muggle, and taught in orphanages all over London. I always felt the worst about the hospital. I thought that perhaps I could make up for what I had done by helping another orphan be successful. But no one ever really touched my heart, until."
"Me," Sass said quietly.
Severus smiled a little. "Yes, Sass," he said quietly. "You. And now, I have to ask you if you still want to talk to me."
"Why?" Sass asked, surprised.
"Because I think everything wrong in your life is my fault. The hospital we attacked burned down several years after Voldemort's downfall, but I always searched for children born on Halloween."
Sass inhaled sharply. "I was born on Halloween," she said, her voice shaking.
He nodded. "I checked your records after I found out. It was that hospital. And you were born at eleven fifty-two p.m. Sass- I'm sorry." She could see the naked anguish in his eyes.
She tucked her knees up to her chest and curled up into a small ball. "It's alright," she said, holding back tears. "I understand. Good people do terrible things sometimes, and- well, you made up for it." She tried to smile a little, without success. Severus made a motion as if to stand up, then sank back down.
"Do you hate me?" he asked quietly, looking at her.
Sass thought long and hard. She did not want to lie to him. After what seemed like hours she looked up and met his eyes squarely. "No. I hate what you did. I hate Lord Voldemort. I do not hate you. I have a great deal of respect for you. You felt one way, but something changed your mind. You had the courage to admit this, and act on it, endangering yourself in the process. When you got the chance, you tried to help those that you hurt. And," she added, "you had the courage to tell me the truth, which I appreciate more than you can know. So," she reached her hand across the table, putting her feet back on the floor, "are we friends?"
Severus reached out and grasped her hand, smiling. "I'd like that," he said. "Thank you, Sass. You are wise beyond your years.
"Now, on a completely different note, I want to talk to you about your class schedule." At Sass' puzzled look, he continued. "Do you remember the lists I gave you to memorize? After Kincaid said he wanted you to have a better memory?" Sass nodded. "Well, for lack of anything better to use, I made those lists the brewing of simple potions." He nodded as understanding dawned on her face. "You are already as advanced in Potions and Herbology as a graduating second year. I have talked to both Professor Sprout and Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Sprout is delighted. I think Albus will agree to my plan- he said he'd think about it."
Sass gasped. "You mean-"
Severus grinned. "Starting next week, you have Potions and Herbology with the third years. Now, this means you will have to take History of Magic with them, but it also means you have several free periods, namely when they are in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfigurations. You will still be in those classes of your own, and one Herbology class with the first years every week, but I was wondering- would you like to go to those classes anyway?"
Sass frowned for a minute, then grinned. "Sure! Why not? After all, I may need that knowledge next year for scheduling. So what I really need to do," she paused, "is hit my history books."
Severus nodded. "I thought you might like this arrangement. This way I can teach you so much more than if you were in your regular classes. Just. have you ever met Professor Dumbledore, before you came to Hogwarts?"
"No, why?"
"Well, I expect it's nothing, it's just- well, he didn't really seem to like you. He can't have a problem with making an exception; he's done that enough times for Potter... He just seemed reluctant to put you in the advanced classes. And I wondered if he'd already gotten a bad impression of you."
Sass shrugged. "I dunno. I can't think of why he wouldn't like me, unless it has something to do with my history. How much did you talk to him about me, when you left the orphanage?"
"Not that much, actually. He obviously felt really bad for you, and I didn't want to bring it up. Bad enough that I couldn't stop thinking about it, I didn't think there was any reason to worry him." Severus paused. "But what could that have to do with anything?" Sass sighed. "I don't know Severus, I just don't." Then she started to yawn. She hid it, but not before Severus noticed.
"God, it's almost two in the morning! No wonder you're tired. Go on," he said, shooing her out of his office, "back to sleep. If Filch catches you, send him to me. Good night," he said, opening the door for her. "Sleep well."
Sass grinned back at him as she exited. "Don't worry," she said. "I will."
* * * * *
Sass couldn't wait for her new classes. She studied her history books intently, in addition to- well, everything except for Charms and Wizard Basics. She continued to meet about every other night with Severus, though, and after the third time Filch brought her back to Severus' office, he simply started ignoring her when he saw her out after hours. The only person she told about her schedule changes was Sandy, although she was a little nervous about it. She and Sandra were becoming good friends, despite the other first years, who had persisted in ignoring Sass ever since their Potions lesson. Sass supposed that Jessica and Marisa, the twins, had spread it around that Sass was sucking up to the Gryffindors' least favorite teacher, namely, Severus.
Sass didn't worry about it, though she expected she would once she stopped having to play catch-up for her classes. As it was, she ordered ^The Standard Book of Spells^ in the nest two levels, plus a bunch of extra history books, and concentrated on committing as much as she could to memory. Monday afternoon was her first new class, History of Magic. The class was boring- it was taught by a ghost who had simply left his body behind one morning as he went to teach- but not horrible. Sass managed to stay awake throughout, and take some semblance of good notes.
However, the /really/ bad part started right afterwards. As the class filed out of the room, Sass noticed several people giving her funny looks, especially the girls, who were more observant. Finally it came to a head as a third-year girl named Parvati Patil walked right up to her and said, "What are you doing in our class? You're a first year."
Sass would have blushed if she hadn't been steeling herself for this very moment. Instead she replied evenly, "I have been moved up in several classes to this level, and so due to scheduling, I am taking five subjects with you."
People who had been watching the exchange curiously drew back in horror, as if Sass had a terrible disease that might spread to them. Parvati looked disgusted. "I suppose this is all because you keep sucking up to Snape?"
Sass sighed. There was no point in trying to explain to them, they wouldn't believe her even if she tried. So she said simply, "Yes."
Parvati looked a little taken aback at that, but after a moment, she turned on her heel and left, as though she couldn't stand to be in Sass' company for a moment more. Sass walked down the hall, her expression unchanged, but inwardly she cried at the way the third years were drawing back from her with loathing expressions on their faces. /By this time next week/, she thought, /I bet there's not a single student in the school who doesn't cringe at the sight of me, Ginny and Sandra included/. She turned into a little-used corridor and walked glumly down it. /Not that I blame them. But- why can't people just be a little more accepting?/ She saw a bathroom on her right and stepped in, figuring it was as good a place to be upset as any. She was a little surprised, though, at the state of decay it was in. The mirror was spotty, the sinks were chipped, and one of the doors was hanging off its hinges. Sass shrugged inwardly. At least no one would be interrupting her.
Suddenly, a /ghost/ flew through one of the stall doors, looking at Sass with curiosity. Sass knew that there were many ghosts at Hogwarts, but she had never actually seen one before, except, of course, for the History teacher. "Who are you?" Sass asked.
The ghost, a slightly chubby girl with a dismal face, frowned. "I'm Myrtle," she said. "But who are /you/? /No/ one comes in here to pee anymore."
Sass shrugged. "My name is Sass. I'm sorta upset and this was the closest place where I could be assured some privacy. Do you- er- /live/ here?"
Myrtle nodded. "I died here, so this is where I live. That's the way it works." Then she looked hard at Sass. "Do- you want to talk about it?" she asked. "I used to come in here a lot to cry and I just /hated/ not having anyone to talk to."
"Sure, why not?" Sass sighed. Then she perched on one of the sinks. "Well, I'm a first year here, in Gryffindor, that is."
Several hours later, Sass' stomach gave a loud rumble, bringing her back to earth. She and Myrtle had gotten on quite well, one thing leading to another, and she had completely lost track of time. "Hey, Myrtle?" she said when there was a break in the conversation. "I have to go, or I'll miss dinner. I'll come see you again sometime, and feel free to visit me whenever." She jumped off the sink and headed for the door, waving. "See you!" As Myrtle waved goodbye, Sass smiled, much happier now that she had been before. She even whistled a soft tune as she went down to the Great Hall, ready to deal with the other students.
* * * * *
On Tuesday evening after a dismal dinner, in which Jessica had 'accidentally' dumped a bowl of mashed potatoes in Sass' lap, Sass headed for Professor Lupin's office. She really didn't feel like talking about dementors or anything else, but a promise /was/ a promise.
She knocked softly, unnerved by the silence within. There was no answer, so she slowly pushed the door open.
~~~
What's in there? Go read the next chapter to find out! And PLEASE! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!