AN: Okay, who thinks my geography's really bad? Konan means "Crimson South" and I had Ami-ai say it was in the west. Go figure. And it's even more amazing that on my bad directions the bandits still got to the right place. WOW, those guys are GOOD!! I wrote this chapter for you Maze!!!
Chapter 3: How Far To Iceland or The Chapter in Which Everyone Acts Really Weird
(This title will be explained, promise. Why it is an important fact that KoKourin is singing "Singing in the Rain" will also be explained. Maybe)
Well, we haven't focused very much lately on Nak-alina and Tomo, so we'd better go there. The love triangle begins.
Soi glanced over at Tomo. A huge weasel stood behind stood behind. "Ahhhh, Tomo, watch out!!" she yelled. Tomo turned around...and screamed like a girl. Soi felt her admiration drop a few notches.
"Get Kai-Ka if you want to slay the GIANT WEASEL!" said "Kai-Ka's" parents, popping up for a moment.
Soi didn't listen, but pulled the sword out of her back and stabbed the weasel in the head with it. (The Improbability Drive comes into action, eh, Obake-chan?)
"Wow! You're better then Kai-Kai!"
"I try," said Soi.
The authoress began screaming, "YOU'RE NOT BETTER THEN KAI-K - I MEAN, AMI-AI!!!!! HE'S WAY COOLER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!!!!! AND HE WOULDN'T NEED TO KILL THE GIANT WEASEL WITH A STUPID SWORD LODGED IN HIS STUPID BACK!!!!!! HE'D JUST USE HIS SUPER-COOL FLUTE!!! **She begins to lay about at people with her own flute** DIE EVIL MARBLEHEADS!!! THANKS MAZE!!!!
"Let's make me calm down and get back to the subject here. Thanks. Next Obake-chan's gonna lose control. Heh heh. Hikitsu appearance."
(Waen drools. "Hey, Hikitsu, did you know, I have a horse?"
"Really? What breed?"
"It's an Arab!"
"Neat! Aren't those the ones bred for speed? Who's her(?) sire?"
"I don't know her sire, but I think she's related to Anasta Iben Halen."
"Wow! Can I ride her?"
"Sure!"
"I haven't ridden a horse in 200 years."
"Poor thing! Let's go over to my place. Maybe you could stay for dinner?"
"Maybe you could stay forever?" says Mulan's grandma in chibi. But KoKourin quickly gets rid of her using her flute. That's the kind of thing that happens when Hikitsu's around)
"Looks like we'll be Obake-chan-less for a good part of this fanfic. (Thank Suzaku).
Waen pops up. "I heard that! I wanted to tell you, even though you are a bratty sister, that me 'n' Hiki-chan are engaged!"
"I know. I found that out in "Korin is Random"."
(The real Waen hits KoK successive times with a frying pan. "It's Hikitsu and I, not me 'n' Hiki-chan!! You don't even have the right to call him Hiki-chan!!" *Moves on to bashing KoK with a spork*
"But, but, I was writing it in for YOU!"
"I don't care!!"
"You know, maybe we should get back to this fanfic.'
"Good idea.")
Soi ran away from the flute of KoKourin, and went to check on Tomo. She was contemplating cheering him up by kissing him on his cute little nose, but instead opted for making him hot chocolate.
"For you Tomo-kins." She clapped a hand over her mouth. "Here, Tomo-the-homo." She hit herself in the head. "None of those. I made hot chocolate for everyone, and here's your cup." (This said despite the fact that Amiboshi, Suboshi, Miboshi, Nakago, and Ashitare were all chocolate-less. But the last was away in England, finishing her book, and munching tea and crumpets with her boyfriend. (I don't pretend to own this. It belongs to Purple Mouse. She writes really good stuff. If you haven't already read "Ashitare's Story: The Unedited Truth" I suggest you do so. And while you're at it, read all her fics! YAY Purple Mouse!!))
Well, this is getting very confusing; suffice to say that we are creating a love triangle that is scaring ourselves. And we are going to focus on the Suzaku seishi, and leave you to work out the mysteries of this section yourself.
Tasuki and Chichiri sat on a quilted mat that they'd made for themselves, painting each other's nails.
"It's so much fun being a girl. No one expects me to be macho and everything. I can be myself!!" Tasuki beamed and gave a bottle of nail polish a tessen blast for the fun of it. She then handed it to Chichiri, who inspected it suspiciously.
"What colour is this na no da?"
"Oh, just some colour." Tasuki grinned evilly.
Chichiri had no choice but to put some on. (Yes he did, why did you say he had no choice Obake-chan? **Waen** It's more fun that way) It turned out to be a sick lime colour that Chichiri hated. "Kuso no da!"
"Kekekekekeke!"
"What the HELK no da???"
"What the hell? What kinda word is helk?"
"Well, I don't swear, unlike some people no da!"
"Well, you sound stupid."
"So do you no da!"
"Cat fight!" Kouji grinned like an idiot.
"What? We ain't fighting like ****in' girls!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Lover's quarrel na no da!" Chichiri cracked up.
"What? Yeah right! We ain't ****in' lovers!"
"That sounded really bad Gen-chan!"
"Go to helk!"
"Now you're using my words no da!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are no da!"
"Am not!"
"Are too no da!"
"Am not!"
"Are too no da!"
"SHUT THE ****IN' HELL UP THIS INSTANT!!!!" roared Tamahome.
"Shh, you've disturbed Miaka!" said Chiriko.
"Oops! I'm so sorry Miaka-ai."
Fighting is fun. But we're going to move on to the beloved twins...er...look-alikes for a moment to explain the first title of this story...
Ami-ai was having...difficulties. Thanks to a mistake with the flute, Suboshi was now singing "Never Get Away" for him. Which was not something he wanted. (BTW, the reason it's important that KoKourin was singing "Singing in the Rain" is so I don't get locked up for freaky-ness. You'll see.)
"Kai-Ka!!! You slew the giant weasel!!" His parents were also still terrorizing him.
Amiboshi, so as to block out the sound of this and like remarks, began singing loudly, "I'm laughing at clouds. So dark up above! The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!"
"That's what we think too, Kai-Ka! That's why we want you to marry that Miaka girl!"
"Leave me in peace, I love SUBOSHI!!!" Ami-ai shrieked.
KoKourin glared at the muse and sister helping her write the fanfic and declared, "I don't LIKE this part!"
"Live with it," said Kouji, "You're making me date Gen-chan. You deserve some punishment."
"And you were rude to me when I told you I was engaged, AND you made me grammatically incorrect! You deserve punishment for that too!" added Waen.
"You...love...YOUR BROTHER??" said someone who hadn't been paying attention when I said they weren't related anymore. Or to the fact that Su's a girl.
"NO!" said Amiboshi, shocked, "I love my adopted brother who is no longer my brother but now my sister and isn't even related to me in this fic!"
The real Amiboshi who was not trapped in the fic of doom remarked placidly, "Yes, our relationship does not resemble Ren and Miisu's. We are just close."
KoK remarked pointedly that 'just cause you're close to your brother doesn't mean that you can't be close to someone else', and sidled in his direction.
Taira handed her a curtain.
KoK gave Taira a Nuriko plushie. She also gave Suboshi a Yui plushie. Then she gave everyone plushies of the people they liked. Except for Amiboshi. She gave him a KoK plushie. Then she went back to the story, casting an eye with a hentai mind behind it over the horse-obsessed Hikitsu and Waen.
Anyway! Chichiri had a problem. He may have looked like a girl, but he was technically a man, and dating Mitsukake didn't really appeal to him. Besides, he had just met a lovely girl called Maze, and, well, he didn't want to be a girl at ALL any more. He decided to go on a mission to turn himself back.
He also decided that he wasn't going to change Tasuki back (REVENGE!!! For the nail polish) nor would he change Nuriko back, because the feminine seishi was finally happy. However, he compassionately thought he might pop over to the Seiryuu side to see if they had the same problem, and then offer his services.
//Aha. I'm such a nice guy no da! Er...wait... I'm such a nice person no da! Look, I have tears of compassion running down my face na no da!!//
"Ano, Peacock Bangs, that's overdoing it a bit," muttered Waen in chibi.
"How can you read my thoughts no da?????"
"I'm one of the authoresses, blue boy,"
"Would you cut it out with the nicknames no da?!?"
"Nope," Waen answered.
Hikitsu gently guided Waen away, "Ano, Waen, let's be nicer to our friends..."
"He's not one of MY friends!"
"Waen! You shouldn't say that in front of him!"
"Hiki-chan, you're way too polite!"
"I try," the seishi muttered, steering her toward the stables.
"Have a nice ride, if that's actually what you do!" yelled KoK
They both turned and stuck their tongues out. "If it were Amiboshi, you wouldn't be riding!"
"I know!"
"Authoress no da? Can we continue no da? I'd like to be changed back as soon as possible, or at least in time for the wedding na no da."
"WHAT????"
"I _said_, I'd like to be changed back in time for the wedding no da."
"What wedding? Who is she? How old? She's not too young for you, is she? Have you been dating long? What's her name? Where does she live? Do you know where her father is? I mean, he's not in prison or anything?"
"Have you ever heard of _privacy_ no da?"
"No, wassat?"
--;;;;;;; "Never you mind no da. Just get on with the fanfic, okay no da?"
"Right, right."
So Chichiri teleported to the Seiryuu camp. White flag in hand, he approached a hysterical Amiboshi.
"Uh, ossul no da. Watashi wa Ri Houjun."
"Watashi wa Bu Koutoku! Heeellllllp!!!!" He threw himself at the surprised Suzaku seishi, crying his head off.
"It's okay, what's wrong, Kou no da?"
"My parents want me to marry Suzaku no Miko!!!!!" *sob* *sob*
"Oh no da. Well, Suzaku no Miko is engaged already na no da. So you can't marry her no da."
"Tell that to my parents."
"Um, no no da . Can you direct me to the Seiryuu camp no da?"
"You're at it. My seishi name is Amiboshi."
"Oh, KONNINICHIWA NO DA!!!!!"
"Yahhh!" Amiboshi screamed
"Anyway no da, has any of your group been mysteriously girl-ized?"
*nodnod* "That's my problem. I'm falling in love with one of my fellow seishi who's been made a girl."
"Well, that's okay no da! Because I'm going on a mission to turn myself back no da! I'm really a man no da."
"I was wondering why you had a man's name. But I thought your parents might be weirdos, which would also explain it."
*glareglare* "My parents were NOT weirdos, they're dead!"
"So're mine! What do you think they've been reincarnated as?"
"This is not relevant no da! All I wanna know is, how many of you are girls and do you want to be turned back no da??!!"
"Nakago wants back.... and I know Suboshi does, but Ashitare is gone, and I think he's happy."
"YES, I am!! I've finally been able to work on my book!" Ashitare stuck her head in.
"WILL ALL THESE PEOPLE GO AWAY AND LET US FINISH THE FIC SO I CAN GET MARRIED NO DA??????????" shrieked Chichiri.
"Fine, I'll go, I know when I'm not wanted," Ashitare said huffily. Her boyfriend put an arm around her and they went out to a nearby bookstore for hot chocolate and biscotti.
"Gomen no da," the blue-haired man muttered.
He could do no more than that, however, because the authoress was neglecting him for the visions of biscotti dancing around her head.
"You just stay there, okay? I have to run over to my granddad's house and see if he's been making biscotti." *drool* "Or maybe I'll go visit Uncle Joi and see if he's made any brunterta."
"Wait, where do these people live no da?
"In Tennessee and Iceland, why?"
"We're in PENNSYLVANIA NO DA!!! How long will this take you na no da?"
"Using my authoress powers, 'bout four minutes."
"Oh, okay no da." Chichiri relaxed
"But they would freak if I popped in out of a plot hole, so I'm going to walk."
"WHAAAAAAATTTTTT NO DAAAAAAAAA?????????"
"Kidding. Aw, I wish Maze were here. You're an adorable chibi."
"Go away no da," he sighed, looking pathetic.
"You look pathetic."
"Go AWAY no da!!!"
"Don't shout. Go turn yourself back."
"You know," Waen intervened, sticking her head through a plot hole, right under KoK's nose, "This is oddly reminiscent of Ranma 1/2."
"You go away too no da. Let me die in peace no da."
"Maze will kill me if you go and die on me."
"Then I'm going to try to die quicker," he muttered, annoyed.
Then Korin herself came into the story. "KoK, why do I let you write fanfiction?"
"You love me? I'm older than you?"
"Go away."
"NOBODY LIKES MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"As of now, you're darn right." The younger girl left through the same plot hole she'd entered from.
"Can. We. Please. Get. Back. To. The. Story. No. Da?" questioned Chichiri.
"I guess so, if you wanna. But now you owe me for cheating me out of my biscotti and brunterta."
(Brunterta is an Icelandic cake that my uncle makes. Brunterta means brown cake. It's sooooooo good!! He also makes leva bred (Leaf bread), which Waen prefers. But I'm a fanfic authoress, and I go for sweet stuff. After all, it makes you hiiiiiiigh!!!!!)
Anyway.
"Well, I guess that we should finish the fic. Nakago is pretty mad at you, and -" Waen got no further, because a ryuuseisui flew in from off stage. KoK ducked.
"Suboshi, get your stupid Shooting Star Plumb-bob and go away!"
"IT IS NOT A "SHOOTING STAR PLUMB-BOB"!!! Ryuuseisui literally means "Dragon Star Ball", so there!"
"That sounds like Dragon Ball Z, so HA!!!" (This is all because of the manga, which Maze tells me called ryuuseisui "Shooting Star Plumb-bob")
While KoK and Suboshi heatedly argued ryuuseisui's name, Waen said, "Hiki-chan? Wanna finish our ride?"
Before Hikitsu could nod, KoK turned. "And YOU!! What do you do on those rides, huh???"
Waen cast a despairing look at Hikitsu. "How do we convince her nothing's going on?
"Iunno, we could bring along a photographer from the newspaper or something."
"Think that'd work?"
"Oh I don't care! You two hentai people get out of here and let me finish my fic, okay???"
"We are not hentai, but we're going!"
"You can try out Sierra today, Hiki."
"I'll have to be careful not to be bucked off," Hikitsu laughed
"That's darn straight," Korin's voice floated over a huge intercom.
"WAAAAHHH!!"
"Do you like it? I can hear you, and talk to you, no matter what fanfic I'm in..."
"Oh, NO!!!" The blood drained from KoK's face.
Korin's voice held an obvious smugness as she said, "Come, get on with your fic KoK. I'm sure the reviewers want more. Go ahead."
KoK turned nervously back to the computer. Then with a loud crash, all the electricity went out. When it came back on, and the computer had been rebooted, and they found that the fanfic was alive, KoK turned to Suboshi and began hugging him.
"THANK YOU SUBOSHI-AIIII!!"
"What'd I do?"
"When you threw that Meteor Bell of yours at me, it hit Korin's intercom system! I'm free again. Hey, wait..."
Suboshi fainted.
KoK stared at the fic.
Chichiri had apparently taken over the computer and fic in that time, for the screen clearly said:
"Chichiri and Maze were married, and lived happily ever after no da. And Suboshi and Amiboshi were no longer traumatized or hysterical no da. Soi and Tomo were married as well, and their makeup business was the most successful in the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho na no da.
"Nakago was his old ruthless self, and his bird-squishing became more of a habit until Amiboshi reported him to the ASPCA no da.
"Tasuki became the bandit queen, and very upset about it he was too no da. However Kouji was thrilled, and they also were married na no da. Tasuki hated every moment of it no da. Even at 106, she still chattered toothlessly away about "the damn good old days!" to their grandchildren, Kouji's and her adopted kid's children na no da.
"And Hotohori and Kourin ruled long and wisely and well over Konan for their lifetime no da. (And Hotohori did get custody of Boushin, if you really wanted to know no da.)
"And so ended the Seishi-a na no da!"
"Actually," KoK said to the computer, "It hasn't been ended."
She turned to Suboshi, still out cold on the floor. She felt his pulse and figured he was still alive. She heaved him onto the couch. Then she shouted, "AMIBOSHI!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT DONE WITH YOUR SISTER???"
"MY WHAT?"
"YOUR SISTER!"
"I HAVE A SISTER?"
"YOU DO NOW!!"
And away on Mt Taikyoku, Taiitsukun cackled evilly to herself. "Wonder how long it'll take them to figure out how to go through a plot hole to Ramna 1/2 world. And if they're sense of direction is as bad as Ryouga's how long it'll take them to go to China and find the Nannichuan. Hee, hee, hee. Serves 'em right for making fun of my face."
And with that, KoK, massaging her temples all the while, typed in all caps:
THE END OF THE DAMNED INSANE MADNESS OF DAMNED INSANITY INDUCED BY SUGAR AND TOO LITTLE SLEEP NOW PLEASE REVIEW THANKS A LOT. KOKOURIN
Well, you can see that I was on a sugar-high, eh? I have not much to say, except: EAT BRUNTERTA, IT'S DELICIOUS (or oishii, whichever you prefer)
And I'd like to dedicate this fic to Maze, my otouto Taira, and all my lovely reviewers who don't like me enough to review but bothered to read it even if they didn't review and that alone is enough!! *takes deep breath*
Hey, this was the very first fic I ever wrote. And it's finished. Laaalaaalaaaaaaa!!!! *grin* Amiboshi, my love, thank you for your part in this fic, and -
Kouji: I'm your muse, what about me??"
I was coming to you. Thanks to Kouji for inspiring me to write humor, despite the fact that it wasn't very nice to him. May your years be long and full of sake and bandit dances.
And may Amiboshi's years be long and full of flute music and me. Yeah.
Read Tomoko-chan's fics. Her pen name is ASHERBOB. Read Maze's fics. Her pen name is TA Maxwell. Read Taira's fics. Her pen name is Nuriko no Mikos. Read Purple Mouse's fics. Her pen name is Purple Mouse. Read her fics! READ 'EM ALL!!! *shakes reader* And if anybody who reads this has also read "Wanted: Fans", the Next chapter is coming soon! Therefore:
Oyasumi, minna, oyasumi.
............EAT BRUNTERTA!!!!!
............Oh, and review, of course. ^_^ ---------
Chapter 3: How Far To Iceland or The Chapter in Which Everyone Acts Really Weird
(This title will be explained, promise. Why it is an important fact that KoKourin is singing "Singing in the Rain" will also be explained. Maybe)
Well, we haven't focused very much lately on Nak-alina and Tomo, so we'd better go there. The love triangle begins.
Soi glanced over at Tomo. A huge weasel stood behind stood behind. "Ahhhh, Tomo, watch out!!" she yelled. Tomo turned around...and screamed like a girl. Soi felt her admiration drop a few notches.
"Get Kai-Ka if you want to slay the GIANT WEASEL!" said "Kai-Ka's" parents, popping up for a moment.
Soi didn't listen, but pulled the sword out of her back and stabbed the weasel in the head with it. (The Improbability Drive comes into action, eh, Obake-chan?)
"Wow! You're better then Kai-Kai!"
"I try," said Soi.
The authoress began screaming, "YOU'RE NOT BETTER THEN KAI-K - I MEAN, AMI-AI!!!!! HE'S WAY COOLER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!!!!! AND HE WOULDN'T NEED TO KILL THE GIANT WEASEL WITH A STUPID SWORD LODGED IN HIS STUPID BACK!!!!!! HE'D JUST USE HIS SUPER-COOL FLUTE!!! **She begins to lay about at people with her own flute** DIE EVIL MARBLEHEADS!!! THANKS MAZE!!!!
"Let's make me calm down and get back to the subject here. Thanks. Next Obake-chan's gonna lose control. Heh heh. Hikitsu appearance."
(Waen drools. "Hey, Hikitsu, did you know, I have a horse?"
"Really? What breed?"
"It's an Arab!"
"Neat! Aren't those the ones bred for speed? Who's her(?) sire?"
"I don't know her sire, but I think she's related to Anasta Iben Halen."
"Wow! Can I ride her?"
"Sure!"
"I haven't ridden a horse in 200 years."
"Poor thing! Let's go over to my place. Maybe you could stay for dinner?"
"Maybe you could stay forever?" says Mulan's grandma in chibi. But KoKourin quickly gets rid of her using her flute. That's the kind of thing that happens when Hikitsu's around)
"Looks like we'll be Obake-chan-less for a good part of this fanfic. (Thank Suzaku).
Waen pops up. "I heard that! I wanted to tell you, even though you are a bratty sister, that me 'n' Hiki-chan are engaged!"
"I know. I found that out in "Korin is Random"."
(The real Waen hits KoK successive times with a frying pan. "It's Hikitsu and I, not me 'n' Hiki-chan!! You don't even have the right to call him Hiki-chan!!" *Moves on to bashing KoK with a spork*
"But, but, I was writing it in for YOU!"
"I don't care!!"
"You know, maybe we should get back to this fanfic.'
"Good idea.")
Soi ran away from the flute of KoKourin, and went to check on Tomo. She was contemplating cheering him up by kissing him on his cute little nose, but instead opted for making him hot chocolate.
"For you Tomo-kins." She clapped a hand over her mouth. "Here, Tomo-the-homo." She hit herself in the head. "None of those. I made hot chocolate for everyone, and here's your cup." (This said despite the fact that Amiboshi, Suboshi, Miboshi, Nakago, and Ashitare were all chocolate-less. But the last was away in England, finishing her book, and munching tea and crumpets with her boyfriend. (I don't pretend to own this. It belongs to Purple Mouse. She writes really good stuff. If you haven't already read "Ashitare's Story: The Unedited Truth" I suggest you do so. And while you're at it, read all her fics! YAY Purple Mouse!!))
Well, this is getting very confusing; suffice to say that we are creating a love triangle that is scaring ourselves. And we are going to focus on the Suzaku seishi, and leave you to work out the mysteries of this section yourself.
Tasuki and Chichiri sat on a quilted mat that they'd made for themselves, painting each other's nails.
"It's so much fun being a girl. No one expects me to be macho and everything. I can be myself!!" Tasuki beamed and gave a bottle of nail polish a tessen blast for the fun of it. She then handed it to Chichiri, who inspected it suspiciously.
"What colour is this na no da?"
"Oh, just some colour." Tasuki grinned evilly.
Chichiri had no choice but to put some on. (Yes he did, why did you say he had no choice Obake-chan? **Waen** It's more fun that way) It turned out to be a sick lime colour that Chichiri hated. "Kuso no da!"
"Kekekekekeke!"
"What the HELK no da???"
"What the hell? What kinda word is helk?"
"Well, I don't swear, unlike some people no da!"
"Well, you sound stupid."
"So do you no da!"
"Cat fight!" Kouji grinned like an idiot.
"What? We ain't fighting like ****in' girls!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Lover's quarrel na no da!" Chichiri cracked up.
"What? Yeah right! We ain't ****in' lovers!"
"That sounded really bad Gen-chan!"
"Go to helk!"
"Now you're using my words no da!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are no da!"
"Am not!"
"Are too no da!"
"Am not!"
"Are too no da!"
"SHUT THE ****IN' HELL UP THIS INSTANT!!!!" roared Tamahome.
"Shh, you've disturbed Miaka!" said Chiriko.
"Oops! I'm so sorry Miaka-ai."
Fighting is fun. But we're going to move on to the beloved twins...er...look-alikes for a moment to explain the first title of this story...
Ami-ai was having...difficulties. Thanks to a mistake with the flute, Suboshi was now singing "Never Get Away" for him. Which was not something he wanted. (BTW, the reason it's important that KoKourin was singing "Singing in the Rain" is so I don't get locked up for freaky-ness. You'll see.)
"Kai-Ka!!! You slew the giant weasel!!" His parents were also still terrorizing him.
Amiboshi, so as to block out the sound of this and like remarks, began singing loudly, "I'm laughing at clouds. So dark up above! The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!"
"That's what we think too, Kai-Ka! That's why we want you to marry that Miaka girl!"
"Leave me in peace, I love SUBOSHI!!!" Ami-ai shrieked.
KoKourin glared at the muse and sister helping her write the fanfic and declared, "I don't LIKE this part!"
"Live with it," said Kouji, "You're making me date Gen-chan. You deserve some punishment."
"And you were rude to me when I told you I was engaged, AND you made me grammatically incorrect! You deserve punishment for that too!" added Waen.
"You...love...YOUR BROTHER??" said someone who hadn't been paying attention when I said they weren't related anymore. Or to the fact that Su's a girl.
"NO!" said Amiboshi, shocked, "I love my adopted brother who is no longer my brother but now my sister and isn't even related to me in this fic!"
The real Amiboshi who was not trapped in the fic of doom remarked placidly, "Yes, our relationship does not resemble Ren and Miisu's. We are just close."
KoK remarked pointedly that 'just cause you're close to your brother doesn't mean that you can't be close to someone else', and sidled in his direction.
Taira handed her a curtain.
KoK gave Taira a Nuriko plushie. She also gave Suboshi a Yui plushie. Then she gave everyone plushies of the people they liked. Except for Amiboshi. She gave him a KoK plushie. Then she went back to the story, casting an eye with a hentai mind behind it over the horse-obsessed Hikitsu and Waen.
Anyway! Chichiri had a problem. He may have looked like a girl, but he was technically a man, and dating Mitsukake didn't really appeal to him. Besides, he had just met a lovely girl called Maze, and, well, he didn't want to be a girl at ALL any more. He decided to go on a mission to turn himself back.
He also decided that he wasn't going to change Tasuki back (REVENGE!!! For the nail polish) nor would he change Nuriko back, because the feminine seishi was finally happy. However, he compassionately thought he might pop over to the Seiryuu side to see if they had the same problem, and then offer his services.
//Aha. I'm such a nice guy no da! Er...wait... I'm such a nice person no da! Look, I have tears of compassion running down my face na no da!!//
"Ano, Peacock Bangs, that's overdoing it a bit," muttered Waen in chibi.
"How can you read my thoughts no da?????"
"I'm one of the authoresses, blue boy,"
"Would you cut it out with the nicknames no da?!?"
"Nope," Waen answered.
Hikitsu gently guided Waen away, "Ano, Waen, let's be nicer to our friends..."
"He's not one of MY friends!"
"Waen! You shouldn't say that in front of him!"
"Hiki-chan, you're way too polite!"
"I try," the seishi muttered, steering her toward the stables.
"Have a nice ride, if that's actually what you do!" yelled KoK
They both turned and stuck their tongues out. "If it were Amiboshi, you wouldn't be riding!"
"I know!"
"Authoress no da? Can we continue no da? I'd like to be changed back as soon as possible, or at least in time for the wedding na no da."
"WHAT????"
"I _said_, I'd like to be changed back in time for the wedding no da."
"What wedding? Who is she? How old? She's not too young for you, is she? Have you been dating long? What's her name? Where does she live? Do you know where her father is? I mean, he's not in prison or anything?"
"Have you ever heard of _privacy_ no da?"
"No, wassat?"
--;;;;;;; "Never you mind no da. Just get on with the fanfic, okay no da?"
"Right, right."
So Chichiri teleported to the Seiryuu camp. White flag in hand, he approached a hysterical Amiboshi.
"Uh, ossul no da. Watashi wa Ri Houjun."
"Watashi wa Bu Koutoku! Heeellllllp!!!!" He threw himself at the surprised Suzaku seishi, crying his head off.
"It's okay, what's wrong, Kou no da?"
"My parents want me to marry Suzaku no Miko!!!!!" *sob* *sob*
"Oh no da. Well, Suzaku no Miko is engaged already na no da. So you can't marry her no da."
"Tell that to my parents."
"Um, no no da . Can you direct me to the Seiryuu camp no da?"
"You're at it. My seishi name is Amiboshi."
"Oh, KONNINICHIWA NO DA!!!!!"
"Yahhh!" Amiboshi screamed
"Anyway no da, has any of your group been mysteriously girl-ized?"
*nodnod* "That's my problem. I'm falling in love with one of my fellow seishi who's been made a girl."
"Well, that's okay no da! Because I'm going on a mission to turn myself back no da! I'm really a man no da."
"I was wondering why you had a man's name. But I thought your parents might be weirdos, which would also explain it."
*glareglare* "My parents were NOT weirdos, they're dead!"
"So're mine! What do you think they've been reincarnated as?"
"This is not relevant no da! All I wanna know is, how many of you are girls and do you want to be turned back no da??!!"
"Nakago wants back.... and I know Suboshi does, but Ashitare is gone, and I think he's happy."
"YES, I am!! I've finally been able to work on my book!" Ashitare stuck her head in.
"WILL ALL THESE PEOPLE GO AWAY AND LET US FINISH THE FIC SO I CAN GET MARRIED NO DA??????????" shrieked Chichiri.
"Fine, I'll go, I know when I'm not wanted," Ashitare said huffily. Her boyfriend put an arm around her and they went out to a nearby bookstore for hot chocolate and biscotti.
"Gomen no da," the blue-haired man muttered.
He could do no more than that, however, because the authoress was neglecting him for the visions of biscotti dancing around her head.
"You just stay there, okay? I have to run over to my granddad's house and see if he's been making biscotti." *drool* "Or maybe I'll go visit Uncle Joi and see if he's made any brunterta."
"Wait, where do these people live no da?
"In Tennessee and Iceland, why?"
"We're in PENNSYLVANIA NO DA!!! How long will this take you na no da?"
"Using my authoress powers, 'bout four minutes."
"Oh, okay no da." Chichiri relaxed
"But they would freak if I popped in out of a plot hole, so I'm going to walk."
"WHAAAAAAATTTTTT NO DAAAAAAAAA?????????"
"Kidding. Aw, I wish Maze were here. You're an adorable chibi."
"Go away no da," he sighed, looking pathetic.
"You look pathetic."
"Go AWAY no da!!!"
"Don't shout. Go turn yourself back."
"You know," Waen intervened, sticking her head through a plot hole, right under KoK's nose, "This is oddly reminiscent of Ranma 1/2."
"You go away too no da. Let me die in peace no da."
"Maze will kill me if you go and die on me."
"Then I'm going to try to die quicker," he muttered, annoyed.
Then Korin herself came into the story. "KoK, why do I let you write fanfiction?"
"You love me? I'm older than you?"
"Go away."
"NOBODY LIKES MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"As of now, you're darn right." The younger girl left through the same plot hole she'd entered from.
"Can. We. Please. Get. Back. To. The. Story. No. Da?" questioned Chichiri.
"I guess so, if you wanna. But now you owe me for cheating me out of my biscotti and brunterta."
(Brunterta is an Icelandic cake that my uncle makes. Brunterta means brown cake. It's sooooooo good!! He also makes leva bred (Leaf bread), which Waen prefers. But I'm a fanfic authoress, and I go for sweet stuff. After all, it makes you hiiiiiiigh!!!!!)
Anyway.
"Well, I guess that we should finish the fic. Nakago is pretty mad at you, and -" Waen got no further, because a ryuuseisui flew in from off stage. KoK ducked.
"Suboshi, get your stupid Shooting Star Plumb-bob and go away!"
"IT IS NOT A "SHOOTING STAR PLUMB-BOB"!!! Ryuuseisui literally means "Dragon Star Ball", so there!"
"That sounds like Dragon Ball Z, so HA!!!" (This is all because of the manga, which Maze tells me called ryuuseisui "Shooting Star Plumb-bob")
While KoK and Suboshi heatedly argued ryuuseisui's name, Waen said, "Hiki-chan? Wanna finish our ride?"
Before Hikitsu could nod, KoK turned. "And YOU!! What do you do on those rides, huh???"
Waen cast a despairing look at Hikitsu. "How do we convince her nothing's going on?
"Iunno, we could bring along a photographer from the newspaper or something."
"Think that'd work?"
"Oh I don't care! You two hentai people get out of here and let me finish my fic, okay???"
"We are not hentai, but we're going!"
"You can try out Sierra today, Hiki."
"I'll have to be careful not to be bucked off," Hikitsu laughed
"That's darn straight," Korin's voice floated over a huge intercom.
"WAAAAHHH!!"
"Do you like it? I can hear you, and talk to you, no matter what fanfic I'm in..."
"Oh, NO!!!" The blood drained from KoK's face.
Korin's voice held an obvious smugness as she said, "Come, get on with your fic KoK. I'm sure the reviewers want more. Go ahead."
KoK turned nervously back to the computer. Then with a loud crash, all the electricity went out. When it came back on, and the computer had been rebooted, and they found that the fanfic was alive, KoK turned to Suboshi and began hugging him.
"THANK YOU SUBOSHI-AIIII!!"
"What'd I do?"
"When you threw that Meteor Bell of yours at me, it hit Korin's intercom system! I'm free again. Hey, wait..."
Suboshi fainted.
KoK stared at the fic.
Chichiri had apparently taken over the computer and fic in that time, for the screen clearly said:
"Chichiri and Maze were married, and lived happily ever after no da. And Suboshi and Amiboshi were no longer traumatized or hysterical no da. Soi and Tomo were married as well, and their makeup business was the most successful in the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho na no da.
"Nakago was his old ruthless self, and his bird-squishing became more of a habit until Amiboshi reported him to the ASPCA no da.
"Tasuki became the bandit queen, and very upset about it he was too no da. However Kouji was thrilled, and they also were married na no da. Tasuki hated every moment of it no da. Even at 106, she still chattered toothlessly away about "the damn good old days!" to their grandchildren, Kouji's and her adopted kid's children na no da.
"And Hotohori and Kourin ruled long and wisely and well over Konan for their lifetime no da. (And Hotohori did get custody of Boushin, if you really wanted to know no da.)
"And so ended the Seishi-a na no da!"
"Actually," KoK said to the computer, "It hasn't been ended."
She turned to Suboshi, still out cold on the floor. She felt his pulse and figured he was still alive. She heaved him onto the couch. Then she shouted, "AMIBOSHI!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT DONE WITH YOUR SISTER???"
"MY WHAT?"
"YOUR SISTER!"
"I HAVE A SISTER?"
"YOU DO NOW!!"
And away on Mt Taikyoku, Taiitsukun cackled evilly to herself. "Wonder how long it'll take them to figure out how to go through a plot hole to Ramna 1/2 world. And if they're sense of direction is as bad as Ryouga's how long it'll take them to go to China and find the Nannichuan. Hee, hee, hee. Serves 'em right for making fun of my face."
And with that, KoK, massaging her temples all the while, typed in all caps:
THE END OF THE DAMNED INSANE MADNESS OF DAMNED INSANITY INDUCED BY SUGAR AND TOO LITTLE SLEEP NOW PLEASE REVIEW THANKS A LOT. KOKOURIN
Well, you can see that I was on a sugar-high, eh? I have not much to say, except: EAT BRUNTERTA, IT'S DELICIOUS (or oishii, whichever you prefer)
And I'd like to dedicate this fic to Maze, my otouto Taira, and all my lovely reviewers who don't like me enough to review but bothered to read it even if they didn't review and that alone is enough!! *takes deep breath*
Hey, this was the very first fic I ever wrote. And it's finished. Laaalaaalaaaaaaa!!!! *grin* Amiboshi, my love, thank you for your part in this fic, and -
Kouji: I'm your muse, what about me??"
I was coming to you. Thanks to Kouji for inspiring me to write humor, despite the fact that it wasn't very nice to him. May your years be long and full of sake and bandit dances.
And may Amiboshi's years be long and full of flute music and me. Yeah.
Read Tomoko-chan's fics. Her pen name is ASHERBOB. Read Maze's fics. Her pen name is TA Maxwell. Read Taira's fics. Her pen name is Nuriko no Mikos. Read Purple Mouse's fics. Her pen name is Purple Mouse. Read her fics! READ 'EM ALL!!! *shakes reader* And if anybody who reads this has also read "Wanted: Fans", the Next chapter is coming soon! Therefore:
Oyasumi, minna, oyasumi.
............EAT BRUNTERTA!!!!!
............Oh, and review, of course. ^_^ ---------