A/N: I finished the story at last! Hope you really like it.

Disclaimers: I don't own the HxH characters or Ruki.

Note: Taken from Ruki's POV again.

Can't Stop Thinking

Chapter 4- Is it Farewell?

It's already been a week since I knew Killua and Gon. In this time, I had friends and experienced laughter and joy being with a friend. It was just yesterday that they told me they were already going. I felt that I was going back to my normal life again, a life without any companion. My heart shattered and felt that I was going to break up into a lot of pieces, but I just smiled at them.

"Ruki! Dinner!" Mom called me.

"Coming." I answered as I got out of room.

I haven't got the appetite to eat that night. I played with the peas in my plate. I guess my mom noticed me since she asked me what's wrong.

"Nothing's wrong mom. I'm just not in the mood." I told her as I faked a smile.

"Don't tell a lie Ruki. I know that face whenever I see one." My mom told me as she crossed her arms over her chest.

I sighed since I knew there was no way out unless I tell her my problem. "It's like this." I started. "This last week, I've been out with my friends, and now they are going to leave." My mouth curved into a frown and beads of tears started to build up on my eyes. I wiped my eyes dry with a napkin.

"My dear child, there is a time when the things you like and the persons you love will go. I too will go far from you someday." My mom said.

I looked at her and I can't hold the tears back. Tears were rolling down from eyes to my cheeks. "I don't want them to go." I said.

"You have to let them go. You'll find more friends." My mom said.

"But nobody is like them."

My mom was silent. I can feel that something is bothering her. In my thoughts I am thinking about going with them, be with them in their journey. Silence stretched among us.

"You're thinking that you would like to join them." My mother whispered as she broke the silence.

I nodded at her. "Would you please allow me?" I pleaded.

My mom stood up and left without a word. I felt that I hurt her in some way. I followed my mom and said, "If you won't allow me then I won't go. It is your decision."

"Ruki…" she said. "You grow up so quickly. You're not a child anymore so you should decide on your own now." She continued.

"Mom…" I murmured as I hugged her tightly. "I'll miss you…" Tears ran down from my eyes as I treasure this moment with a person so dear to me.

I broke away from the embrace then went to my room and started packing my things. I stopped for a while and a while later I was caught up in deep thoughts.

I can't sleep that night. I kept on thinking about my decision. I stood up from my bed and sat near the window looking at the bright moon. The moon's silver rays shone upon my face. "Should I really go?" I asked myself. "If I go, I would be happy, but… mother…" I thought aloud.

The next day I know what my decision is. I unpacked my things and told mom my decision. From her eyes I can see that she is very happy. She hugged me tightly like I am a precious treasure that she couldn't let go. "Mom, I better go and say goodbye now." I told her. She nodded and with that I went to the docks.

I saw Gon and Killua at the docks. They waved at me and I waved back. I ran towards them.

"So are you coming?" Killua asked with his hands inside his pockets.

"No, I can't leave mom." I said as I shook her head. I saw that Killua's face saddened a little. "You'll come, won't you?" I asked them.

"Of course we'll come back." Gon said. "Just wait for us."

I nodded then smiled, "I'll wait then."

"We got to go, the ship is going to leave already." Gon said pulling Killua.

Killua haven't spoken a word. I said goodbye to them then turned my back not wanting tears to run down my cheeks. I started to go back to our house when somebody called me, it was Killua. I looked at him and in surprise he hugged me. I can feel a slight blush appearing on my cheeks.

"Just wait for me ok?" He said and he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

"Hurry up Killua!" Gon shouted from afar.

"Coming!" Killua said as he rushed towards Gon.

"I will wait for you." I smiled.

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Finished! Hope you really like it.