Well, those of you who like the martial arts aspect of Sass should enjoy
this chapter, although there are also a bunch of other things in it.
Good news! I basically have the weekend off, and so MAY even get ANOTHER chapter up this weekend! How's that for cool? Now, don't expect anything like this in the future, as bball is starting and practices are sometimes on Saturdays too which makes it hard to find time to write, but I swear I'll do my best.
Well, I'm not sure about this chapter, the only part that I really like is the martial arts sequence towards the end. But tell me what you think.
And please go read She Who Is Lost by Tigress of the Night. She's getting very pissed as no one will review her story and I REALLY don't want her pissed. You wouldn't want me dead, now would you?
I'm still looking for ideas for a title change, if anyone has any. plot ideas are welcome too, although I can't promise I'll use them. now on with the fic!
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 14- The Strength Within
Sirius turned slowly, and watched through color-blind eyes as the girl gasped in shock, her red eyes dilating in fear. /Wait, red eyes? /Voldemort/ had- shit!/ The girl stumbled backwards, staring at him.
"You- that's not your natural form- /who are you/?" Sirius stared back. /How in the hell can she tell I'm an Animagus? And red eyes- is she Him come back somehow, like he did with Quirrel? Oh God, I have to protect Harry!/ He pounced onto the girl, transforming back and pinning her before she knew what had happened. "Listen, I don't want to hurt you. Now, just hang on a sec." He drew his stolen wand, pointing it at the girl. "/Extramalo/!" Then he waited, as the girl stared at him blankly, to see if there was a spirit inside her other than her own. Voldemort was far too powerful for him to actually get rid of, but the spell would tell him what was there. Just as he had decided with relief that she was in control of her own body, something in the girl's mind clicked.
"You're Sirius Black!" she whispered vehemently. "You /bastard/!" Sirius almost let her go, he was so surprised. Her hatred sounded personal, as though one of the people 'he' had killed was her mother. /Please let it not be so. /
"Why?" he said, confused.
"You had /everything/, /everything/! Yet you /still/ didn't have enough. You had to go over to /him/ anyway- there are those of us who would have given /anything/ to be you. We are /expected/ to go over, the moment we get a chance, throwing away Dumbledore's 'kind, caring, efforts' to 'save' us. As if he believes anything different than the rest of them. Just leave me alone." He lip curled in disgust at Sirius, and he was stunned for a moment at the bitterness coming from such a young mouth. /Just like Sass the one time I got her to tell me her past- what a shame to have a cold, uncaring guardian for so long!/ Which reminded him why he was here.
"So you won't believe me, but I didn't go over to Voldemort, I haven't killed anyone, and I most certainly didn't have everything in school. That's not important." /Seeing as I'll be erasing your memories of this just as soon as I can./ "I need you to take me to the Hospital Wing." /Shit, have I really forgotten where it is? And I didn't think of that before I came? Lord of mercy. Oh well, I think it'll work out okay./ (a/n, oh dear, Siri's getting forgetful. oh wait, that's normal, isn't it?)
The girl looked at him suspiciously, no surprise there. "Why?" she said, obviously not wanting to say a single word to him more than necessary. Sirius considered his options. /I can't tell her about Sass, any memory charm can be broken through, and I don't want anyone knowing we're in contact. Maybe I can scare her. But I always feel so unclean after. well, I don't think I have much of a choice/. He slammed the small girl up against the wall hard enough to knock the breath out of her, although taking care not to hit her head.
"Listen, redeyes," he said deliberately, knowing she was probably teased, if not shunned, because of them, and saw he had a hit by the hurt that registered on her face momentarily. "It's none of your /damn/ business what I want in there. Just take me, and that way no one will get hurt, okay? Go," Sirius snarled, keeping his wand trained on the girl as he dropped her to the floor and waited for the severely shaken student to get up. "Now, which way to the Hospital Wing?" Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when the girl stood up and started walking with nothing more than a few more venomous glances. He didn't let her see how much hatred still affected him. /God, I wish I had never heard the name Voldemort. or Peter Pettigrew, for that matter/. He followed the girl down two staircases, then through enough corridors to leave him thoroughly lost. /I'm going to have to get directions from Sass back to the tunnel, he thought wryly. That or get this girl to show me where Gryffindor Tower is. I know I can find my way from there/. Finally they came to a passage he recognized. Sirius nodded curtly.
/Shit/, he thought suddenly, /I'm going to keep her here. But she can't hear me talking to Sass./ He sighed, and muttered, "/Stupefy/," at the girl, causing her to slump over. He caught the small body with ease, then slung the girl over his shoulder and entered the Hospital Wing.
He noticed with relief that Madam Pomfrey did not appear to be in, and so placed his burden on one of the beds. /I had better not forget to modify her memory before I leave/, Sirius thought, then walked further into the room, looking for filled beds. There were none. /Oh God, where is she/? Sirius thought frantically. /I was so sure she would be here- what's going on? Is she so ill she's being kept somewhere else? What if she's dead? What if-/
He realized he was panicking and forced himself to stop, taking a deep breath to slow down his thoughts. /Okay. So maybe she's recovered enough to go to her classes. In which case, maybe this girl would know- / "/Ennervate/," he said, pointing his wand at the prone form. The girl sat up, taking a moment to realize what had happened. Sirius sat down on another bed. "Okay," he said. "The person I'm looking for isn't here. What's your name?"
"Perdita," the girl said rebelliously, obviously thinking he was going to be one of those people that tried to convince you that they really were on your side. /Which I am not and am, respectively/, he thought. (a/n, see if you can figure that one out!)
"Okay. What year are you in?"
"Third."
"House?"
"Gryffindor. Damned Hat was afraid of me."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Fine. Do you know a girl named Sass?"
"Why?" The girl suddenly looked at him warily.
"Where do you think she would be right now?"
"/Why do you want to know/?" /Is this girl a friend of Sass'? Interesting./
"It's of no concern to you. /Where is she/?"
Perdita stood up slowly, glaring at Sirius as if to kill him. "She doesn't have a class right now. She's probably in the library, doing homework, that or. well, I bet she's in there." Sirius nodded curtly.
"Take me there."
"Fine. Here." She stalked out of the room, leading him even further into the labyrinth that was Hogwarts. They came to the library and she poked her head in. "Sass?" The third year looked back at Sirius, said, "She's in there," and walked into the dusty room.
Sirius heard her say, "Hello, Madam Pince," and realized the librarian might be difficult to deal with. /Damn it, why can't I ever manage to think anything through?/ he thought, then reached his wand around the doorframe and Stunned the woman who replied. He walked into the library, praying to God no one else was in there. Fortunately, the place was deserted, except for Sass, who was sitting in a corner, laughing wryly.
"What's so funny?" he said, plopping down beside her at the table, which was covered two deep open books. Sass sighed.
"Perdita's a friend of mine. Perdi, he's innocent, he never went over to Voldemort. Sirius, I think we should just let her know and leave it at that. The girl isn't going to turn you in. Now, I'll take care of Madam Pince. Why don't you go back to the corridor and explain things, I've been missing school and I have a lot of homework." Sirius protested feebly.
"But-"
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll seeya in the passage on Thursday? I'm leaving on the Express on Friday, Christmas holidays and all. That okay?" Sirius nodded, no little bit dazed, and Sass smiled, managing to summon up the dregs of life to put in her eyes for one of the people who cared for her. "Good. Until Thursday, then." She looked back down to her homework and was lost to the world. Sirius turned back to Perdita, wondering where to start. "Can you take me to the third floor, left hand corridor? There's a statue of a one-eyed old woman." And they left.
* * * * *
When she could no longer hear Perdi and Sirius' footsteps, Sass sighed, allowing herself to slump down onto the table. /I'm so tired/. She still couldn't be bothered to worry about the others' petty tricks, but they seemed to be afraid of her. /No surprise there. they really did get pretty close to killing me. If my pain tolerance was a little higher- if I'd taken a few more falls- well, I really can't blame them. Most people would've acted hurt and passed out far sooner, and not taken such a beating./ She stood up reluctantly, and Revived Madam Pince. /Good thing I've been studying second and third year Charms as well/. Before the librarian managed to get out more than a "What-" she had cast a Forgetfulness Charm as well.
"Madam Pince?" she said quietly in her usual manner. "Can you help me find a book? It's called ^Magical Tricks That Could Save Your Life^, I need it for a essay about defending yourself with charms that Professor Flitwick assigned." /That's really all it is to Madam Pince/, Sass thought. /She just needs to know what you want, and why. Then be quiet. People like her are so easy to understand- you just have to know what motivates them/. After she had been given the requested book, Sass withdrew to her usual table in the corner, where she could hear and see most of what went on in the room, despite things like bookshelves. /I wonder if someone designed this place so they could sit here and watch everything. It's amazing how many people have 'private' conversations here- as if they don't know that libraries echo. More the fools, they./ She looked down at the Charms essay. She was about an inch short, but that was good, as she hadn't written her conclusion yet. Sass looked up several of the 'tricks,' wrote them in, summarized her work, and cast an ink-drying charm on the parchment. /That was the very first spell he taught us/, Sass remembered. /Said we would use it more in our lives than all the other spells put together. I guess maybe he was trying to make a point- it's the small things we most depend on to keep our world in order, the small things we never think about and always take for granted/. She refused to let that train of thought lead her to Snape. /Time for my twice-or-thrice-daily workout./
Sass stood up, putting all her books away and packing up her spare parchment. She nodded goodbye to Madam Pince, who snorted in reply. /If only the whole world made as much sense./ Sass put her stuff in the Hospital Wing then made her way to the Quidditch field through the snow, leaving small dark footprints in the glittering whiteness. /Funny how few people seem to know there're a bunch of workout rooms beneath the stands/, she thought. /Oh well, I guess no one really uses them. Unless maybe the older Defense classes do. Whatever. The important thing is that no one will bother me. /
She stepped through the door and took of her cloak, robes, and boots, leaving them in the places for such things. The fire flared up instantly, as it was designed to in such cold weather. She sighed as the warmth hit her shorts-and-T-shirt clad body. Sass considered the various doors leading from the entryway. Someone had designed this room with great care. /Muggle weights, sports arena, combat library, salle for traditional weapons and hand-to-hand/. Sass breathed in deeply, relishing the comforting scent of leather and sweat. /I think I'll practice some sword- dances today, she thought. I feel like having a weapon in my hand/.
Sass moved towards the door on her right, opening the tarnished and worn brass handle. She eyed the racks of weapons on the shelves. /Somehow I don't think anyone could get in here if they weren't responsible enough to know these are real weapons/. She moved over to them, running her hand along them. Swords, daggers, staffs, maces, bolas, bows, incredible variety and familiar feel. She looked also at the throwing daggers, darts, dirks, and other weapons that she had not worked with. After a moment of consideration, she picked up twin rapiers, smooth and polished in their slender, deadly beauty. After bowing to the east, she stood for a moment, feet together, swords crossed in front of her face. /You must never wield a weapon in any state of mind except for completely centered. If you do, your emotions will destroy you/. Words of famous masters flitted through her brain, and Sass forced herself to be empty, a perfect stillness, purely physical, suspended, almost ready. In motion.
The moment she felt her mind and body unite, Sass slid smoothly into the first motions of her sword-dance. The poses were fragile, rhythmic, each crystallizing perfectly in her mind then changing, quick as breath. Sass felt her muscles relax. Parry, twist, bend, repart. The movements came to her easily, as they always had. /This/ was right, no emotions, no conflict, simply breathing and moving, one as simple as the other. The pattern increased its tempo, and Sass felt her muscles begin to tire, her scars stretching on her skin, bruises protesting at her motion. No matter. Everything would adjust in a moment, and the dance allowed for this human imperfection. As her body went into the peculiar combination of tension and calm that went with swordfighting, Sass moved into the main body of the dance. Now she had to work, straining for perfection, keeping her mind clear, no baggage, no baggage- /you must know who you are to defeat another in the sword ring./
As she spun, slashed, and parried her invisible but tangible opponent, she combined the advanced kicks and rolls that, to any master, would show her to be a dedicated student of hand to hand as well, rarer and rarer in these days of tightly-controlled combat competitions. They didn't want anyone to get hurt. Sass slid smoothly from the end of that dance into another, realizing that today, everything was even better than normal. /Click/. She abandoned herself completely to the swords, letting herself be expressed in the twin flashes of steel. When the moment seemed right, she released her swords and took another weapon from the shelves, not choosing consciously, simply knowing what was right.
She was tiring now, her breath coming heavily, not panting yet, but close. Her muscles were fatiguing, and soon, yes. They cramped, and Sass was forced to slow for a moment, her every instinct rebelling against stopping this perfection that had reflected to her just now, never again. Eventually, the fatigue gave up, and she was left free to move, to choose and to fight, in control of herself and her body, every moment a clear drop of water to her parched soul. This was life, and she had no intention of dying anytime soon. The weapons switched once more, and she grinned ferally, not knowing why, really, and yet at the same time it was so clear- /Nothing can stop me/. Finally, Sass felt her exhaustion, not simple pain, but overwhelming, soul-deep exhaustion. /I have to stop before I pass out/. She slowed, moving, still flawlessly, into a closing sequence, realizing she no longer had a weapon her hands. All the better. Sass continued to slow, gradually coming back into her body, stretching, cooling overworked muscles. She bent and twisted, flowing now, liquid as silk, feeling the cool air slide over her sweat-covered body. A strange dizzy feeling was coming to her, and Sass realized she was going to pass out soon. /Just hold on a moment, I must finish what I have begun./ Maybe her body heard her, and maybe it was sheer stubbornness, but Sass finished, standing in the exact same place where she had started, hands crossed over her chest. Sass took a deep breath and opened her eyes. /I really did it. I finished The Dance. Oh wow./ A wave of blackness came over her, and Sass realized it was dark out. /Maybe some water./ She walked tipsily over to the wall, where a faucet allowed her to regain some of the moisture she had sweated off. Sass thought for a moment. /I- don't think- I can make it- back to the school. Maybe I had better- stay here/. She knew the place had the bed, and decision made, she headed for it. Slowly. /I doubt I would be able to walk after a night on the floor. No matter how well I stretched, I'm /really/ gonna feel this in the morning. Ah, but it was so /good/ to work like that./ She reached the bedroom of the complex and slowly pulled down the covers on the bed, taking just enough time to strip off her sopping, sweaty clothes. /Better to sleep with nothing on than that. I'd probably freeze/. Sass lay down in the bed, taking exaggerated care not to jolt herself. /Sleep./
* * * * *
When Severus Snape left the Teachers' Training Room at eleven o'clock P.M., he was one amazed and impressed man. /What she did in there- it was amazing/, he thought. /I used to see her train sometimes, knew she was good- but that was beautiful. Simply beautiful. She has so much talent, she should really enroll in a class, something. She needs someone to teach her, show her all she can be- perhaps I could find someone down at Hogsmeade who can do that. I'd have to enroll her in a regular lesson first, so she doesn't come across as spoiled or snotty, but any master who saw her- they would know that she needs something else/. Severus shook his head suddenly, called out of his fantasy. /She hates me now, remember? Whether it was before or after I hit her isn't important- God, she will never forgive me. But maybe- could I give her an anonymous Christmas present? Maybe it would make up for some of what I've done. yes. I'll do that/. He strode through the halls, seeking nothing more than his office, quiet and dark. /God, but I miss her. Sass, Sass, you were my little one, the bright light in all the pointless, stupid bodies that inhabit this school/. He reached his dungeons and entered them, not comforted at all by the soft lighting that usually soothed him from the raw emotions of the students that invaded his mind every day. /Why did I have to screw it up? We understood each other, the fears and hopes, pain and losses. then I became a fear, a giver of pain, our friendship lost. How could I have believed those others over her? I'm too damned suspicious./
/But hasn't that suspicion kept you alive, protected you from those who would have destroyed your very soul? Is it not what /will/ keep you alive if- when- Voldemort rises again, and you are forced once again to become a spy? You /need/ it, and the girl must simply learn to live with that./
/No!/ he cried inside his head. /Not to her, never to Sass, she's my /daughter/, can't you understand that? I can't live without her, she means far too much to me. No matter what the cost, be it death, pain, humiliation, even if it means that He will find out, I have to trust her./
The voice smiled, and Severus realized it may not have been who he at first thought it to be. /So you trust her, Severus Snape. Good. Do not forget it. When you argue, scream, which will happen, rest assured, you /must/ remember this. You trust Sasina Celeborn-Lantuan, and always will. Good luck on Thursday, and here's a hint: apologize first, then explain. And be patient. She has been hurt far more deeply than you know/. And with that, the voice vanished, leaving Severus alone to waste parchment late into the night trying to find the words for his apology.
* * * * *
Madam Pomfrey checked the clock on her wall. Sass was late, and at first she hadn't been worried. The girl had probably gotten started on something in the library and didn't want to lose her train of thought. But as ten o'clock came and went, she started to fret. Now it was approaching eleven, and there was still no sign of the girl. /Where is she? If she's forgotten, I'm going to tan her hide when I find her. but what if she hasn't?/ Images of the black-haired girl unconscious in a hallway, or passed out in the snow outside came to mind unbidden, and Poppy started to pace. /Should I call the headmaster? Or Remus? Yes, I'll call him. He probably knows where she is, and if he doesn't, I'm sure he'll know where to find her/. The nurse bustled into her office and cast a handful of glittering silver powder into the fireplace. "Remus Lupin," she said, and was rewarded by the man stumbling out of the fire a few seconds later. "Hello, Remus," she said, handing him a brush to dust off with. "Miss Celeborn hasn't reported yet for the night, and I was wondering if you knew where she was."
Remus frowned. "No, I haven't seen her since before lunch, she was in one of my classes. Why do you suppose she would stay away, Poppy?"
She shook her head. "I don't know Remus, I was hoping you'd have the answer. Do you have any idea where she might be?"
Remus frowned, thinking for a moment.
"Well, my first thought is the library, catching up on her homework, although it would surprise me if she hasn't already done that," he said. "Otherwise." /Snape/, he thought. Visions of Sass lying in some deserted corridor, sobbing in her silent way, came to mind, scaring him more than he thought possible. He realized that Poppy was looking at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. "Otherwise, I'd guess she might be in some classroom, going through some of her exercises. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure she'll turn up." But he had other thoughts. /If we can't find Sass in the library, I'm headed straight for Snape's office. And if he's hurt her again. There'll be hell to pay./
Sorry 'bout the ending, but this one's *surreptitiously reaches for word counter* wow. Almost 4000 words, and I had to cut it off SOMEWHERE!!!!!! Ok, now thanks a mill to everyone who reviewed, I swear, the five or so of you who do just make this story happen.
Diety- thanks! Well, I'm thinking I may actually be able to get 2 chaps up this weekend, is that cool or what!!!!!!! ? (sorry, I temporarily forgot that ? go at end of questions.) thanks for the review, hope you enjoy this!
Tigress of the Night- we discussed this, but um, well, TOASTED ROLL WITH CHEESE?????? WHAT???? WHAT TIME WAS IT WHEN YOU REVIEWED? HMM????????? Ok, well, I'll seeya on Tuesday, I hope you like this.
friend from Ash.- from now on friend will be capitalized in my responses as I am too lazy to fix my computers dumb autoformatting any more. Thanks! I really appreciate your support (although I still wish u'd tell me who u are..) later!
Pseudie-Lee- Hey! Yeah, they have been talking about you (ok, when HAVENT they been?) yes, wasn't our review luvverly? And yeah, I may have mentioned liking reviews. I'm glad you *almost* like it. And the Marauders aren't BAD in my story, they're just. well. yeah- and she's even friends w/ Remmie and Siri! And Snape's being a poohead right now (although I regret to inform you that this will be coming to an end in the next couple of months, and he will revert to being nice). Personally, I have NO IDEA what language nichka is in, if you find out, tell me, K? And despite the fact that most of my invented spells have been takeoffs of Spanish, this isn't at least I don't think so. And YES!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS BASED ON MERCEDES LACKEYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE SERRated Edge!!!!!!!!! I ABSOLUTELY have plans for that later on in the story, and THANK YOU for noticing! That makes me so happy! I also have other plans that could be for my particular brand of elves. *cough, crossover, cough* well, not really, but they will not be original elves and they will not be harry-potter style, even if JKR bothers to invent some (Cajun style, yummy,). As for your return, I have usually heard of it as some kind of -a-go-go-land, but that works too. And I AM worried about them, but there is no need to on *that* particular count. Yes, you are usually referred to as Knick-Knock, and theoretically I was your 'replacement' until they found out you were coming back. and the fact that I like slash. and snapey. and really I'd guess a lot of other things but I think they mostly just missed you so I am left now without an identity. Okay, jk, I'm excited to meed you and thanks for reviewing!!!!!
PS to everyone who wondered why P-L got such a long response: ITS BECAUSE SHE LEFT SUCH A LONG REVIEW!!!!!!!!! HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!! Ok, sorry. Just review, k?
PPS, the name of this chapter refers to Sass, and the strength she gets from her ability with fighting and dancing. This is eventually going to play a major role in the story, as I dump more and more mountains on her.
Good news! I basically have the weekend off, and so MAY even get ANOTHER chapter up this weekend! How's that for cool? Now, don't expect anything like this in the future, as bball is starting and practices are sometimes on Saturdays too which makes it hard to find time to write, but I swear I'll do my best.
Well, I'm not sure about this chapter, the only part that I really like is the martial arts sequence towards the end. But tell me what you think.
And please go read She Who Is Lost by Tigress of the Night. She's getting very pissed as no one will review her story and I REALLY don't want her pissed. You wouldn't want me dead, now would you?
I'm still looking for ideas for a title change, if anyone has any. plot ideas are welcome too, although I can't promise I'll use them. now on with the fic!
Sasina (Sass for short) Chapter 14- The Strength Within
Sirius turned slowly, and watched through color-blind eyes as the girl gasped in shock, her red eyes dilating in fear. /Wait, red eyes? /Voldemort/ had- shit!/ The girl stumbled backwards, staring at him.
"You- that's not your natural form- /who are you/?" Sirius stared back. /How in the hell can she tell I'm an Animagus? And red eyes- is she Him come back somehow, like he did with Quirrel? Oh God, I have to protect Harry!/ He pounced onto the girl, transforming back and pinning her before she knew what had happened. "Listen, I don't want to hurt you. Now, just hang on a sec." He drew his stolen wand, pointing it at the girl. "/Extramalo/!" Then he waited, as the girl stared at him blankly, to see if there was a spirit inside her other than her own. Voldemort was far too powerful for him to actually get rid of, but the spell would tell him what was there. Just as he had decided with relief that she was in control of her own body, something in the girl's mind clicked.
"You're Sirius Black!" she whispered vehemently. "You /bastard/!" Sirius almost let her go, he was so surprised. Her hatred sounded personal, as though one of the people 'he' had killed was her mother. /Please let it not be so. /
"Why?" he said, confused.
"You had /everything/, /everything/! Yet you /still/ didn't have enough. You had to go over to /him/ anyway- there are those of us who would have given /anything/ to be you. We are /expected/ to go over, the moment we get a chance, throwing away Dumbledore's 'kind, caring, efforts' to 'save' us. As if he believes anything different than the rest of them. Just leave me alone." He lip curled in disgust at Sirius, and he was stunned for a moment at the bitterness coming from such a young mouth. /Just like Sass the one time I got her to tell me her past- what a shame to have a cold, uncaring guardian for so long!/ Which reminded him why he was here.
"So you won't believe me, but I didn't go over to Voldemort, I haven't killed anyone, and I most certainly didn't have everything in school. That's not important." /Seeing as I'll be erasing your memories of this just as soon as I can./ "I need you to take me to the Hospital Wing." /Shit, have I really forgotten where it is? And I didn't think of that before I came? Lord of mercy. Oh well, I think it'll work out okay./ (a/n, oh dear, Siri's getting forgetful. oh wait, that's normal, isn't it?)
The girl looked at him suspiciously, no surprise there. "Why?" she said, obviously not wanting to say a single word to him more than necessary. Sirius considered his options. /I can't tell her about Sass, any memory charm can be broken through, and I don't want anyone knowing we're in contact. Maybe I can scare her. But I always feel so unclean after. well, I don't think I have much of a choice/. He slammed the small girl up against the wall hard enough to knock the breath out of her, although taking care not to hit her head.
"Listen, redeyes," he said deliberately, knowing she was probably teased, if not shunned, because of them, and saw he had a hit by the hurt that registered on her face momentarily. "It's none of your /damn/ business what I want in there. Just take me, and that way no one will get hurt, okay? Go," Sirius snarled, keeping his wand trained on the girl as he dropped her to the floor and waited for the severely shaken student to get up. "Now, which way to the Hospital Wing?" Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when the girl stood up and started walking with nothing more than a few more venomous glances. He didn't let her see how much hatred still affected him. /God, I wish I had never heard the name Voldemort. or Peter Pettigrew, for that matter/. He followed the girl down two staircases, then through enough corridors to leave him thoroughly lost. /I'm going to have to get directions from Sass back to the tunnel, he thought wryly. That or get this girl to show me where Gryffindor Tower is. I know I can find my way from there/. Finally they came to a passage he recognized. Sirius nodded curtly.
/Shit/, he thought suddenly, /I'm going to keep her here. But she can't hear me talking to Sass./ He sighed, and muttered, "/Stupefy/," at the girl, causing her to slump over. He caught the small body with ease, then slung the girl over his shoulder and entered the Hospital Wing.
He noticed with relief that Madam Pomfrey did not appear to be in, and so placed his burden on one of the beds. /I had better not forget to modify her memory before I leave/, Sirius thought, then walked further into the room, looking for filled beds. There were none. /Oh God, where is she/? Sirius thought frantically. /I was so sure she would be here- what's going on? Is she so ill she's being kept somewhere else? What if she's dead? What if-/
He realized he was panicking and forced himself to stop, taking a deep breath to slow down his thoughts. /Okay. So maybe she's recovered enough to go to her classes. In which case, maybe this girl would know- / "/Ennervate/," he said, pointing his wand at the prone form. The girl sat up, taking a moment to realize what had happened. Sirius sat down on another bed. "Okay," he said. "The person I'm looking for isn't here. What's your name?"
"Perdita," the girl said rebelliously, obviously thinking he was going to be one of those people that tried to convince you that they really were on your side. /Which I am not and am, respectively/, he thought. (a/n, see if you can figure that one out!)
"Okay. What year are you in?"
"Third."
"House?"
"Gryffindor. Damned Hat was afraid of me."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Fine. Do you know a girl named Sass?"
"Why?" The girl suddenly looked at him warily.
"Where do you think she would be right now?"
"/Why do you want to know/?" /Is this girl a friend of Sass'? Interesting./
"It's of no concern to you. /Where is she/?"
Perdita stood up slowly, glaring at Sirius as if to kill him. "She doesn't have a class right now. She's probably in the library, doing homework, that or. well, I bet she's in there." Sirius nodded curtly.
"Take me there."
"Fine. Here." She stalked out of the room, leading him even further into the labyrinth that was Hogwarts. They came to the library and she poked her head in. "Sass?" The third year looked back at Sirius, said, "She's in there," and walked into the dusty room.
Sirius heard her say, "Hello, Madam Pince," and realized the librarian might be difficult to deal with. /Damn it, why can't I ever manage to think anything through?/ he thought, then reached his wand around the doorframe and Stunned the woman who replied. He walked into the library, praying to God no one else was in there. Fortunately, the place was deserted, except for Sass, who was sitting in a corner, laughing wryly.
"What's so funny?" he said, plopping down beside her at the table, which was covered two deep open books. Sass sighed.
"Perdita's a friend of mine. Perdi, he's innocent, he never went over to Voldemort. Sirius, I think we should just let her know and leave it at that. The girl isn't going to turn you in. Now, I'll take care of Madam Pince. Why don't you go back to the corridor and explain things, I've been missing school and I have a lot of homework." Sirius protested feebly.
"But-"
"Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll seeya in the passage on Thursday? I'm leaving on the Express on Friday, Christmas holidays and all. That okay?" Sirius nodded, no little bit dazed, and Sass smiled, managing to summon up the dregs of life to put in her eyes for one of the people who cared for her. "Good. Until Thursday, then." She looked back down to her homework and was lost to the world. Sirius turned back to Perdita, wondering where to start. "Can you take me to the third floor, left hand corridor? There's a statue of a one-eyed old woman." And they left.
* * * * *
When she could no longer hear Perdi and Sirius' footsteps, Sass sighed, allowing herself to slump down onto the table. /I'm so tired/. She still couldn't be bothered to worry about the others' petty tricks, but they seemed to be afraid of her. /No surprise there. they really did get pretty close to killing me. If my pain tolerance was a little higher- if I'd taken a few more falls- well, I really can't blame them. Most people would've acted hurt and passed out far sooner, and not taken such a beating./ She stood up reluctantly, and Revived Madam Pince. /Good thing I've been studying second and third year Charms as well/. Before the librarian managed to get out more than a "What-" she had cast a Forgetfulness Charm as well.
"Madam Pince?" she said quietly in her usual manner. "Can you help me find a book? It's called ^Magical Tricks That Could Save Your Life^, I need it for a essay about defending yourself with charms that Professor Flitwick assigned." /That's really all it is to Madam Pince/, Sass thought. /She just needs to know what you want, and why. Then be quiet. People like her are so easy to understand- you just have to know what motivates them/. After she had been given the requested book, Sass withdrew to her usual table in the corner, where she could hear and see most of what went on in the room, despite things like bookshelves. /I wonder if someone designed this place so they could sit here and watch everything. It's amazing how many people have 'private' conversations here- as if they don't know that libraries echo. More the fools, they./ She looked down at the Charms essay. She was about an inch short, but that was good, as she hadn't written her conclusion yet. Sass looked up several of the 'tricks,' wrote them in, summarized her work, and cast an ink-drying charm on the parchment. /That was the very first spell he taught us/, Sass remembered. /Said we would use it more in our lives than all the other spells put together. I guess maybe he was trying to make a point- it's the small things we most depend on to keep our world in order, the small things we never think about and always take for granted/. She refused to let that train of thought lead her to Snape. /Time for my twice-or-thrice-daily workout./
Sass stood up, putting all her books away and packing up her spare parchment. She nodded goodbye to Madam Pince, who snorted in reply. /If only the whole world made as much sense./ Sass put her stuff in the Hospital Wing then made her way to the Quidditch field through the snow, leaving small dark footprints in the glittering whiteness. /Funny how few people seem to know there're a bunch of workout rooms beneath the stands/, she thought. /Oh well, I guess no one really uses them. Unless maybe the older Defense classes do. Whatever. The important thing is that no one will bother me. /
She stepped through the door and took of her cloak, robes, and boots, leaving them in the places for such things. The fire flared up instantly, as it was designed to in such cold weather. She sighed as the warmth hit her shorts-and-T-shirt clad body. Sass considered the various doors leading from the entryway. Someone had designed this room with great care. /Muggle weights, sports arena, combat library, salle for traditional weapons and hand-to-hand/. Sass breathed in deeply, relishing the comforting scent of leather and sweat. /I think I'll practice some sword- dances today, she thought. I feel like having a weapon in my hand/.
Sass moved towards the door on her right, opening the tarnished and worn brass handle. She eyed the racks of weapons on the shelves. /Somehow I don't think anyone could get in here if they weren't responsible enough to know these are real weapons/. She moved over to them, running her hand along them. Swords, daggers, staffs, maces, bolas, bows, incredible variety and familiar feel. She looked also at the throwing daggers, darts, dirks, and other weapons that she had not worked with. After a moment of consideration, she picked up twin rapiers, smooth and polished in their slender, deadly beauty. After bowing to the east, she stood for a moment, feet together, swords crossed in front of her face. /You must never wield a weapon in any state of mind except for completely centered. If you do, your emotions will destroy you/. Words of famous masters flitted through her brain, and Sass forced herself to be empty, a perfect stillness, purely physical, suspended, almost ready. In motion.
The moment she felt her mind and body unite, Sass slid smoothly into the first motions of her sword-dance. The poses were fragile, rhythmic, each crystallizing perfectly in her mind then changing, quick as breath. Sass felt her muscles relax. Parry, twist, bend, repart. The movements came to her easily, as they always had. /This/ was right, no emotions, no conflict, simply breathing and moving, one as simple as the other. The pattern increased its tempo, and Sass felt her muscles begin to tire, her scars stretching on her skin, bruises protesting at her motion. No matter. Everything would adjust in a moment, and the dance allowed for this human imperfection. As her body went into the peculiar combination of tension and calm that went with swordfighting, Sass moved into the main body of the dance. Now she had to work, straining for perfection, keeping her mind clear, no baggage, no baggage- /you must know who you are to defeat another in the sword ring./
As she spun, slashed, and parried her invisible but tangible opponent, she combined the advanced kicks and rolls that, to any master, would show her to be a dedicated student of hand to hand as well, rarer and rarer in these days of tightly-controlled combat competitions. They didn't want anyone to get hurt. Sass slid smoothly from the end of that dance into another, realizing that today, everything was even better than normal. /Click/. She abandoned herself completely to the swords, letting herself be expressed in the twin flashes of steel. When the moment seemed right, she released her swords and took another weapon from the shelves, not choosing consciously, simply knowing what was right.
She was tiring now, her breath coming heavily, not panting yet, but close. Her muscles were fatiguing, and soon, yes. They cramped, and Sass was forced to slow for a moment, her every instinct rebelling against stopping this perfection that had reflected to her just now, never again. Eventually, the fatigue gave up, and she was left free to move, to choose and to fight, in control of herself and her body, every moment a clear drop of water to her parched soul. This was life, and she had no intention of dying anytime soon. The weapons switched once more, and she grinned ferally, not knowing why, really, and yet at the same time it was so clear- /Nothing can stop me/. Finally, Sass felt her exhaustion, not simple pain, but overwhelming, soul-deep exhaustion. /I have to stop before I pass out/. She slowed, moving, still flawlessly, into a closing sequence, realizing she no longer had a weapon her hands. All the better. Sass continued to slow, gradually coming back into her body, stretching, cooling overworked muscles. She bent and twisted, flowing now, liquid as silk, feeling the cool air slide over her sweat-covered body. A strange dizzy feeling was coming to her, and Sass realized she was going to pass out soon. /Just hold on a moment, I must finish what I have begun./ Maybe her body heard her, and maybe it was sheer stubbornness, but Sass finished, standing in the exact same place where she had started, hands crossed over her chest. Sass took a deep breath and opened her eyes. /I really did it. I finished The Dance. Oh wow./ A wave of blackness came over her, and Sass realized it was dark out. /Maybe some water./ She walked tipsily over to the wall, where a faucet allowed her to regain some of the moisture she had sweated off. Sass thought for a moment. /I- don't think- I can make it- back to the school. Maybe I had better- stay here/. She knew the place had the bed, and decision made, she headed for it. Slowly. /I doubt I would be able to walk after a night on the floor. No matter how well I stretched, I'm /really/ gonna feel this in the morning. Ah, but it was so /good/ to work like that./ She reached the bedroom of the complex and slowly pulled down the covers on the bed, taking just enough time to strip off her sopping, sweaty clothes. /Better to sleep with nothing on than that. I'd probably freeze/. Sass lay down in the bed, taking exaggerated care not to jolt herself. /Sleep./
* * * * *
When Severus Snape left the Teachers' Training Room at eleven o'clock P.M., he was one amazed and impressed man. /What she did in there- it was amazing/, he thought. /I used to see her train sometimes, knew she was good- but that was beautiful. Simply beautiful. She has so much talent, she should really enroll in a class, something. She needs someone to teach her, show her all she can be- perhaps I could find someone down at Hogsmeade who can do that. I'd have to enroll her in a regular lesson first, so she doesn't come across as spoiled or snotty, but any master who saw her- they would know that she needs something else/. Severus shook his head suddenly, called out of his fantasy. /She hates me now, remember? Whether it was before or after I hit her isn't important- God, she will never forgive me. But maybe- could I give her an anonymous Christmas present? Maybe it would make up for some of what I've done. yes. I'll do that/. He strode through the halls, seeking nothing more than his office, quiet and dark. /God, but I miss her. Sass, Sass, you were my little one, the bright light in all the pointless, stupid bodies that inhabit this school/. He reached his dungeons and entered them, not comforted at all by the soft lighting that usually soothed him from the raw emotions of the students that invaded his mind every day. /Why did I have to screw it up? We understood each other, the fears and hopes, pain and losses. then I became a fear, a giver of pain, our friendship lost. How could I have believed those others over her? I'm too damned suspicious./
/But hasn't that suspicion kept you alive, protected you from those who would have destroyed your very soul? Is it not what /will/ keep you alive if- when- Voldemort rises again, and you are forced once again to become a spy? You /need/ it, and the girl must simply learn to live with that./
/No!/ he cried inside his head. /Not to her, never to Sass, she's my /daughter/, can't you understand that? I can't live without her, she means far too much to me. No matter what the cost, be it death, pain, humiliation, even if it means that He will find out, I have to trust her./
The voice smiled, and Severus realized it may not have been who he at first thought it to be. /So you trust her, Severus Snape. Good. Do not forget it. When you argue, scream, which will happen, rest assured, you /must/ remember this. You trust Sasina Celeborn-Lantuan, and always will. Good luck on Thursday, and here's a hint: apologize first, then explain. And be patient. She has been hurt far more deeply than you know/. And with that, the voice vanished, leaving Severus alone to waste parchment late into the night trying to find the words for his apology.
* * * * *
Madam Pomfrey checked the clock on her wall. Sass was late, and at first she hadn't been worried. The girl had probably gotten started on something in the library and didn't want to lose her train of thought. But as ten o'clock came and went, she started to fret. Now it was approaching eleven, and there was still no sign of the girl. /Where is she? If she's forgotten, I'm going to tan her hide when I find her. but what if she hasn't?/ Images of the black-haired girl unconscious in a hallway, or passed out in the snow outside came to mind unbidden, and Poppy started to pace. /Should I call the headmaster? Or Remus? Yes, I'll call him. He probably knows where she is, and if he doesn't, I'm sure he'll know where to find her/. The nurse bustled into her office and cast a handful of glittering silver powder into the fireplace. "Remus Lupin," she said, and was rewarded by the man stumbling out of the fire a few seconds later. "Hello, Remus," she said, handing him a brush to dust off with. "Miss Celeborn hasn't reported yet for the night, and I was wondering if you knew where she was."
Remus frowned. "No, I haven't seen her since before lunch, she was in one of my classes. Why do you suppose she would stay away, Poppy?"
She shook her head. "I don't know Remus, I was hoping you'd have the answer. Do you have any idea where she might be?"
Remus frowned, thinking for a moment.
"Well, my first thought is the library, catching up on her homework, although it would surprise me if she hasn't already done that," he said. "Otherwise." /Snape/, he thought. Visions of Sass lying in some deserted corridor, sobbing in her silent way, came to mind, scaring him more than he thought possible. He realized that Poppy was looking at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. "Otherwise, I'd guess she might be in some classroom, going through some of her exercises. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure she'll turn up." But he had other thoughts. /If we can't find Sass in the library, I'm headed straight for Snape's office. And if he's hurt her again. There'll be hell to pay./
Sorry 'bout the ending, but this one's *surreptitiously reaches for word counter* wow. Almost 4000 words, and I had to cut it off SOMEWHERE!!!!!! Ok, now thanks a mill to everyone who reviewed, I swear, the five or so of you who do just make this story happen.
Diety- thanks! Well, I'm thinking I may actually be able to get 2 chaps up this weekend, is that cool or what!!!!!!! ? (sorry, I temporarily forgot that ? go at end of questions.) thanks for the review, hope you enjoy this!
Tigress of the Night- we discussed this, but um, well, TOASTED ROLL WITH CHEESE?????? WHAT???? WHAT TIME WAS IT WHEN YOU REVIEWED? HMM????????? Ok, well, I'll seeya on Tuesday, I hope you like this.
friend from Ash.- from now on friend will be capitalized in my responses as I am too lazy to fix my computers dumb autoformatting any more. Thanks! I really appreciate your support (although I still wish u'd tell me who u are..) later!
Pseudie-Lee- Hey! Yeah, they have been talking about you (ok, when HAVENT they been?) yes, wasn't our review luvverly? And yeah, I may have mentioned liking reviews. I'm glad you *almost* like it. And the Marauders aren't BAD in my story, they're just. well. yeah- and she's even friends w/ Remmie and Siri! And Snape's being a poohead right now (although I regret to inform you that this will be coming to an end in the next couple of months, and he will revert to being nice). Personally, I have NO IDEA what language nichka is in, if you find out, tell me, K? And despite the fact that most of my invented spells have been takeoffs of Spanish, this isn't at least I don't think so. And YES!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS BASED ON MERCEDES LACKEYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE SERRated Edge!!!!!!!!! I ABSOLUTELY have plans for that later on in the story, and THANK YOU for noticing! That makes me so happy! I also have other plans that could be for my particular brand of elves. *cough, crossover, cough* well, not really, but they will not be original elves and they will not be harry-potter style, even if JKR bothers to invent some (Cajun style, yummy,). As for your return, I have usually heard of it as some kind of -a-go-go-land, but that works too. And I AM worried about them, but there is no need to on *that* particular count. Yes, you are usually referred to as Knick-Knock, and theoretically I was your 'replacement' until they found out you were coming back. and the fact that I like slash. and snapey. and really I'd guess a lot of other things but I think they mostly just missed you so I am left now without an identity. Okay, jk, I'm excited to meed you and thanks for reviewing!!!!!
PS to everyone who wondered why P-L got such a long response: ITS BECAUSE SHE LEFT SUCH A LONG REVIEW!!!!!!!!! HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!! Ok, sorry. Just review, k?
PPS, the name of this chapter refers to Sass, and the strength she gets from her ability with fighting and dancing. This is eventually going to play a major role in the story, as I dump more and more mountains on her.