"You're done, Master Skywalker?" T-24 asked.
I nodded. "Yes, T-24, you can shut down the memory recorder."
T-24 withdrew into himself for a second, then came back with a slightly exhausted-looking slump. "If you wouldn't mind, could you please deactivate me? I feel drained."
"Of course, 24," I answered. I reached to the back of the silver outer casings and pressed the button hidden in his neck. The droid stood rigid, deactivated.
I looked back at Obi-Wan. He was still going over the encounters I had just retold. He was even rubbing his chin. I had to hide a snicker at this. He caught it and sent me a glare. I returned it with a mock salute.
"Well . . ." Obi-Wan finally said with a sigh. "Where's Padmé? We should probably start heading for your ship."
"Padmé's at the Lars' farm," I said darkly, turning my head away from Obi- Wan. "With a child she called her own who looks a mirror image of myself."
"He does look quite a bit like you," Obi-Wan said. "Let's just hope he got Padmé's personality."
"Obi-Wan!" I said sharply, turning to glare at him. "Why are you joking about this?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Why not?"
"Because . . ." I sighed. "I'm confused."
"You really shouldn't be. It's quite obvious what happened, isn't it?"
"Yes," I said, clenching my jaw. He was being impossible. "But I thought she had a miscarriage. How would you feel if you just happen to see a little boy who looks like you and your wife happens to tell him that she's his mother? Padmé gave me no warning! She told me not to ask. She just dragged me to Tatooine and took off for the Lars' farm. If she could have just said, 'Oh, yeah, Anakin, I kinda lied to you, we really do have a kid', I would have been much better about it."
"She hasn't seen Luke in four years, not since the day he was born," Obi- Wan pointed out. "She was anxious to see him, and I admit she should have told you, but maybe she thought you'd hold her back, make her wait a few days while you got used to the idea that you had a child. Would you have done that?"
"Maybe," I muttered. I hated it when Obi-Wan was right. He knew why Padmé didn't tell me, and I hadn't thought that far.
"Do you want to go back now? We really have to get to Aldaraan," Obi-Wan said, standing up. He began dusting off his dark robes.
"Oh, is there another child I don't know about waiting for me there?" I asked sarcastically, standing up. Obi-Wan gave me a strange look, but I was too angry with him, so I ignored it. I didn't bother dusting off my robes, I knew that it would be pointless. T-24 was too heavy to carry, so I activated him again and told him to climb onto the speeder and we'd let him rest at the Lars' or on the ship.
I took front, and let Obi-Wan sit behind me. This time I didn't close my eyes, this time I wasn't confused or hurt or betrayed. I had reasons to be, yes, but they were all the right reasons. If I hadn't thought Luke was dead, I would have searched for him, and when Darth Vader wants something, he gets it. I would have raised the child as a Sith, and I didn't want that for anybody. In a way I was . . . grateful. It was just a shock, that was all.
When we stopped the speeder in front of the house, Padmé came running down from sitting on the porch. She launched herself in my arms and buried her face in my chest. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her, resting my cheek on top of her head.
Padmé snuggled close for a few minutes but then pulled back and started punching me. "Don't do that!" she said with each small punch of her hands. "You could have been killed! Do you realize what you do to me, Ani?"
She stopped with the punching and looked up at me with her brown eyes, shining slightly with the beginnings of tears. "Yes," I whispered guiltily, then hugged her again. This time she stayed in my arms much longer.
"Master Skywalker?"
I opened my eyes to see T-24 standing on the porch. "That nice man, Obi-Wan I think you called him, offered to deactivate me, but I told him that I would only allow my master to do that. I am awfully tired."
I sighed and met Padmé's eyes. She rolled them and let go. I jumped off the side of the speeder and went to the porch to deactivate T-24, as he'd asked. I felt sorry for bringing him to Tatooine, I knew what the rough sand was like, especially combined with the winds. I turned to Padmé. "They . . . know, right?"
"What?"
"Owen and Beru. They know I'm not . . . him, right?"
"I explained," Padmé assured me. "Obi-Wan is here?"
"You didn't see him on the speeder? He was right behind me."
"I was too focused on you," Padmé admitted sheepishly. I smiled warmly at her and kissed her cheek. She kissed me on the lips in return. I put my arms around her and pulled her close to my body as she slipped her tongue into my mouth.
"Excuse me," a small voice interrupted.
I jumped and pulled away from Padmé. We both looked down to see Luke standing there, regarding us closely. "What is it, Luke?" Padmé asked. I noticed that the tone of her voice changed when talking to him.
"Aunt Beru says that dinner is ready," Luke said. He gave me a cautious look. "Is he the one you told me about?"
Padmé looked up at me. I shook my head. I was still too . . . too . . . *something*. I couldn't quite place the feeling, but I didn't yet want Luke to know I was his father.
Padmé placed a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Luke, let's go eat dinner."
"You didn't answer my question!" Luke protested. I smiled slightly at this. Luke wasn't going to be swayed, he was too smart to be persuaded into a change of subject.
"That's a question that will be answered on another day," Padmé answered him firmly, pushing him a little towards the front door. Luke sighed noisily, to show us his dissatisfaction, but allowed himself to be hauled into the kitchen.
I followed them slowly. I was still nervous about Owen and Beru, about the things they thought of me, about the things that Obi-Wan probably told them. Inevitably, I finally reached the dining room. Owen gave me a friendly smile, but I was feeling in a dark mood. I didn't want to be forgived, I wanted to be hated. Hate was a feeling I could relate to. Why had I even come in? I could have gone out to the garage . . . I could have fixed a few things, played with tools. I could have given T-24 an oil bath. But, no, I was stupid enough to think with my stomach instead.
I sat down next to Obi-Wan at the end of the table with Padmé across from me. She sent me a sly smile, then started talking to Luke about something. I was so focused on staring at Luke, taking in his features and his voice, that I jumped when I felt something touch my leg. I looked around, but Obi- Wan was involved in a conversation with Owen. Padmé was still talking to Luke with an innocent enough expression on her face. Then I felt it again, this time more boldly. I grinned into my plate, trying to hide my face. It was an old game for Padmé and me. At the most important dinners, with the most important people, we would attempt to play footsie. We got bolder and bolder each time we got away with it, and nobody ever acknowledged that they knew what we were up to.
The door opened, and Beru came in with a few bowls that she set on the table. The steamy food looked appetizing, and my stomach growled. When was the last time I'd eaten? My eager expression was observed by Beru. She gave me a warm smile. "Eat up." Why was everyone giving me warm smiles? I narrowed my eyes darkly and stared intently at my plate. When I looked up again, Beru was looking nervous. I realized what had shown through in my eyes had scared her, even if it wasn't much. I smiled at her, and attempted to let the smile come to my eyes. It must have worked, because she smiled back, though a bit nervously.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Beru said in a hurry as she sat down between Owen and Luke. "You must understand that we are here to guard Luke, and when we saw you, we panicked and thought the worse."
"Nobody thought you could turn back to the good side," Owen added.
"I did," Obi-Wan said at the same time as Padmé. I gave them both grateful looks, then began to join in in scooping up the food onto my plate.
The rest of dinner passed relatively tolerable. We ventured into polite conversations, and I didn't join in. I ate as fast as I could, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. Owen and Beru were some of the friendliest people in the world, and this unnerved me.
*****
"I want you two to go out in the desert. Stay there for a few days. By the time you come back, this should all be over."
Owen was the only one who heard Obi-Wan. Beru was crying as she hugged Luke, it was hard for her to give up the little boy she had basically raised as her own. Luke was crying as well. "I don't want to go!" he whimpered into her hair repeatedly.
I was about to ask Obi-Wan exactly what he had planned, since I could tell it was something by his warning to Owen and the air around him, but I heard the door open and close and shut my mouth. Padmé had left. Luke's words, though understandable in my opinion, were cutting right through his mother's heart. I followed her, wanting to offer comfort that I knew she needed. I knew what Luke was going through, I was paying too much heed to what he said, but Padmé was in pain, I could feel it as if it was my own. Added onto the pain I felt was a layer of guilt. All of these back things led back to me. If I had only stayed on the right path, Padmé and I could have raised Luke on our own, she would not have had to hide him with Beru and Owen, would not have been seperated from her child.
She was standing a few feet away from the house, her arms folded neatly as the wind whipped at her hair. She just stood there, looking out at the vast nothingness, even less appealing since it was dark and looked like a black oblivion. Maybe it was this that appealed to her. I stood away from her for a moment, letting her feelings wash over me.
I finally stepped up right behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She stiffened at first, but I kissed the side of her neck tenderly. She sunk back against me, collapsing. Her shoulders began to shake as she cried.
"Padmé . . . you have to understand," I began softly. "Beru was almost like his mother, she raised him. He's all that she's ever known, he's bound to have become attached to her."
"I understand," Padmé said bitterly. "THat doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though."
"I know, I know," I whispered soothingly, letting my hand rub her stomach in a gesture of comofrt. "Luke will come around."
"I hope so," Padmé sighed. She turned around in my embrace so that we were face to face. She brought a hand up to the hair behind my ear. "I miss your braid."
"I'm not a Padawan anymore. It would be degrading to have a braid."
"I still miss it," Padmé mused. "I always used to twirl it around my fingers."
"I'm sure we can find something else for you to occupy your hands with," I murmered as I lowered my head to hers. Our lips met, and it was like an electrical shock. How had I gone so long without her lips? And this was just closed mouth . . . she let the tip of her tongue run seductively over my lips, and I groaned. I brought my hand up to bury in her hair and pressed her lips further into mine. My other hand clutched at her body, trying to get as close as possible. Her hands were teasing my hair . . .
"Hey, lovebirds!"
I broke away quickly from Padmé, and turned to see Obi-Wan waving cheerfully at us. I sent him a look of loathing that he outright ignored. I turned to Padmé to see that her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she was breathing shallowly. "We should probably get going," I said.
"Yeah," Padmé agreed. She started to walk, then turned her head to the side to look at me. Her lips twisted in a coy smile. "We can discuss an occupation for my hands later."
"I'll be looking forward to it," I promised, raising my eyebrows suggestively. She grinned and turned back around. I followed her to the speeder where Obi-Wan was packing a few suitcases of Luke's onto the back.
"Where is Luke?" Padmé asked worriedly, looking around. "I don't want him to be scared."
"He's . . . well . . ." Obi-Wan looked nervously at Padmé. "Owen is tending to him."
"I'll go help," Padmé decided. She ran up the steps and into the house before I could stop her.
I sent Obi-Wan a look. "Where's Luke?"
"Holding onto this bedpost while Owen is trying to drag him out of the house," Obi-Wan admitted. "How is Padmé?"
"Terrible."
"She seemed to be doing all right a second ago," Obi-Wan said with a sly smile.
"I wish . . . I wish we'd never met," I finally decided.
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows, surprised. "I thought you loved her."
"I do. I do so much," I said quietly. "But she wouldn't have to suffer this pain if it weren't for me. She wouldn't have this to worry about. Her one child almost hates her."
"He doesn't hate her."
"I know that, and you know that, but Padmé sees it that way," I said.
Padmé came out a few minutes later, her eyes were spilling over. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her. "I don't want to take Luke away from his home," she said. "I want to leave him here, I want him to be happy."
I nodded and pulled her tighter. I began to cry as well, feeling her pain overwhelm me. "Padmé, he's *your* son."
"He's your son too!" Padmé said, pulling away. "You're treating him like any other kid. You won't even let me tell him you're his father."
"Look, Padmé," Obi-Wan interrupted. We both turned to him, fuming. "I have a suggestion. You stay here and get to know Luke better. Tell him you're his mother, let him know how much you love him. Anakin and I have to go to the town to attend to some . . . business."
Padmé looked between Obi-Wan and me, then finally nodded reluctantly. "Okay. That sounds all right." She stepped closed to me and put a hand on the back of my head. She pulled me down to kiss me with so much passion my knees went weak. "Don't let anything happen to you this time, you know how I worry," Padmé whispered. I nodded and kissed her again.
* * * * * * * * * *
AN: You can't even comprehend how ecstatic I was for all the good reviews! Please keep them coming, I couldn't believe you guys would respond so well.
~Hales
I nodded. "Yes, T-24, you can shut down the memory recorder."
T-24 withdrew into himself for a second, then came back with a slightly exhausted-looking slump. "If you wouldn't mind, could you please deactivate me? I feel drained."
"Of course, 24," I answered. I reached to the back of the silver outer casings and pressed the button hidden in his neck. The droid stood rigid, deactivated.
I looked back at Obi-Wan. He was still going over the encounters I had just retold. He was even rubbing his chin. I had to hide a snicker at this. He caught it and sent me a glare. I returned it with a mock salute.
"Well . . ." Obi-Wan finally said with a sigh. "Where's Padmé? We should probably start heading for your ship."
"Padmé's at the Lars' farm," I said darkly, turning my head away from Obi- Wan. "With a child she called her own who looks a mirror image of myself."
"He does look quite a bit like you," Obi-Wan said. "Let's just hope he got Padmé's personality."
"Obi-Wan!" I said sharply, turning to glare at him. "Why are you joking about this?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Why not?"
"Because . . ." I sighed. "I'm confused."
"You really shouldn't be. It's quite obvious what happened, isn't it?"
"Yes," I said, clenching my jaw. He was being impossible. "But I thought she had a miscarriage. How would you feel if you just happen to see a little boy who looks like you and your wife happens to tell him that she's his mother? Padmé gave me no warning! She told me not to ask. She just dragged me to Tatooine and took off for the Lars' farm. If she could have just said, 'Oh, yeah, Anakin, I kinda lied to you, we really do have a kid', I would have been much better about it."
"She hasn't seen Luke in four years, not since the day he was born," Obi- Wan pointed out. "She was anxious to see him, and I admit she should have told you, but maybe she thought you'd hold her back, make her wait a few days while you got used to the idea that you had a child. Would you have done that?"
"Maybe," I muttered. I hated it when Obi-Wan was right. He knew why Padmé didn't tell me, and I hadn't thought that far.
"Do you want to go back now? We really have to get to Aldaraan," Obi-Wan said, standing up. He began dusting off his dark robes.
"Oh, is there another child I don't know about waiting for me there?" I asked sarcastically, standing up. Obi-Wan gave me a strange look, but I was too angry with him, so I ignored it. I didn't bother dusting off my robes, I knew that it would be pointless. T-24 was too heavy to carry, so I activated him again and told him to climb onto the speeder and we'd let him rest at the Lars' or on the ship.
I took front, and let Obi-Wan sit behind me. This time I didn't close my eyes, this time I wasn't confused or hurt or betrayed. I had reasons to be, yes, but they were all the right reasons. If I hadn't thought Luke was dead, I would have searched for him, and when Darth Vader wants something, he gets it. I would have raised the child as a Sith, and I didn't want that for anybody. In a way I was . . . grateful. It was just a shock, that was all.
When we stopped the speeder in front of the house, Padmé came running down from sitting on the porch. She launched herself in my arms and buried her face in my chest. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her, resting my cheek on top of her head.
Padmé snuggled close for a few minutes but then pulled back and started punching me. "Don't do that!" she said with each small punch of her hands. "You could have been killed! Do you realize what you do to me, Ani?"
She stopped with the punching and looked up at me with her brown eyes, shining slightly with the beginnings of tears. "Yes," I whispered guiltily, then hugged her again. This time she stayed in my arms much longer.
"Master Skywalker?"
I opened my eyes to see T-24 standing on the porch. "That nice man, Obi-Wan I think you called him, offered to deactivate me, but I told him that I would only allow my master to do that. I am awfully tired."
I sighed and met Padmé's eyes. She rolled them and let go. I jumped off the side of the speeder and went to the porch to deactivate T-24, as he'd asked. I felt sorry for bringing him to Tatooine, I knew what the rough sand was like, especially combined with the winds. I turned to Padmé. "They . . . know, right?"
"What?"
"Owen and Beru. They know I'm not . . . him, right?"
"I explained," Padmé assured me. "Obi-Wan is here?"
"You didn't see him on the speeder? He was right behind me."
"I was too focused on you," Padmé admitted sheepishly. I smiled warmly at her and kissed her cheek. She kissed me on the lips in return. I put my arms around her and pulled her close to my body as she slipped her tongue into my mouth.
"Excuse me," a small voice interrupted.
I jumped and pulled away from Padmé. We both looked down to see Luke standing there, regarding us closely. "What is it, Luke?" Padmé asked. I noticed that the tone of her voice changed when talking to him.
"Aunt Beru says that dinner is ready," Luke said. He gave me a cautious look. "Is he the one you told me about?"
Padmé looked up at me. I shook my head. I was still too . . . too . . . *something*. I couldn't quite place the feeling, but I didn't yet want Luke to know I was his father.
Padmé placed a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Luke, let's go eat dinner."
"You didn't answer my question!" Luke protested. I smiled slightly at this. Luke wasn't going to be swayed, he was too smart to be persuaded into a change of subject.
"That's a question that will be answered on another day," Padmé answered him firmly, pushing him a little towards the front door. Luke sighed noisily, to show us his dissatisfaction, but allowed himself to be hauled into the kitchen.
I followed them slowly. I was still nervous about Owen and Beru, about the things they thought of me, about the things that Obi-Wan probably told them. Inevitably, I finally reached the dining room. Owen gave me a friendly smile, but I was feeling in a dark mood. I didn't want to be forgived, I wanted to be hated. Hate was a feeling I could relate to. Why had I even come in? I could have gone out to the garage . . . I could have fixed a few things, played with tools. I could have given T-24 an oil bath. But, no, I was stupid enough to think with my stomach instead.
I sat down next to Obi-Wan at the end of the table with Padmé across from me. She sent me a sly smile, then started talking to Luke about something. I was so focused on staring at Luke, taking in his features and his voice, that I jumped when I felt something touch my leg. I looked around, but Obi- Wan was involved in a conversation with Owen. Padmé was still talking to Luke with an innocent enough expression on her face. Then I felt it again, this time more boldly. I grinned into my plate, trying to hide my face. It was an old game for Padmé and me. At the most important dinners, with the most important people, we would attempt to play footsie. We got bolder and bolder each time we got away with it, and nobody ever acknowledged that they knew what we were up to.
The door opened, and Beru came in with a few bowls that she set on the table. The steamy food looked appetizing, and my stomach growled. When was the last time I'd eaten? My eager expression was observed by Beru. She gave me a warm smile. "Eat up." Why was everyone giving me warm smiles? I narrowed my eyes darkly and stared intently at my plate. When I looked up again, Beru was looking nervous. I realized what had shown through in my eyes had scared her, even if it wasn't much. I smiled at her, and attempted to let the smile come to my eyes. It must have worked, because she smiled back, though a bit nervously.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Beru said in a hurry as she sat down between Owen and Luke. "You must understand that we are here to guard Luke, and when we saw you, we panicked and thought the worse."
"Nobody thought you could turn back to the good side," Owen added.
"I did," Obi-Wan said at the same time as Padmé. I gave them both grateful looks, then began to join in in scooping up the food onto my plate.
The rest of dinner passed relatively tolerable. We ventured into polite conversations, and I didn't join in. I ate as fast as I could, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. Owen and Beru were some of the friendliest people in the world, and this unnerved me.
*****
"I want you two to go out in the desert. Stay there for a few days. By the time you come back, this should all be over."
Owen was the only one who heard Obi-Wan. Beru was crying as she hugged Luke, it was hard for her to give up the little boy she had basically raised as her own. Luke was crying as well. "I don't want to go!" he whimpered into her hair repeatedly.
I was about to ask Obi-Wan exactly what he had planned, since I could tell it was something by his warning to Owen and the air around him, but I heard the door open and close and shut my mouth. Padmé had left. Luke's words, though understandable in my opinion, were cutting right through his mother's heart. I followed her, wanting to offer comfort that I knew she needed. I knew what Luke was going through, I was paying too much heed to what he said, but Padmé was in pain, I could feel it as if it was my own. Added onto the pain I felt was a layer of guilt. All of these back things led back to me. If I had only stayed on the right path, Padmé and I could have raised Luke on our own, she would not have had to hide him with Beru and Owen, would not have been seperated from her child.
She was standing a few feet away from the house, her arms folded neatly as the wind whipped at her hair. She just stood there, looking out at the vast nothingness, even less appealing since it was dark and looked like a black oblivion. Maybe it was this that appealed to her. I stood away from her for a moment, letting her feelings wash over me.
I finally stepped up right behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She stiffened at first, but I kissed the side of her neck tenderly. She sunk back against me, collapsing. Her shoulders began to shake as she cried.
"Padmé . . . you have to understand," I began softly. "Beru was almost like his mother, she raised him. He's all that she's ever known, he's bound to have become attached to her."
"I understand," Padmé said bitterly. "THat doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though."
"I know, I know," I whispered soothingly, letting my hand rub her stomach in a gesture of comofrt. "Luke will come around."
"I hope so," Padmé sighed. She turned around in my embrace so that we were face to face. She brought a hand up to the hair behind my ear. "I miss your braid."
"I'm not a Padawan anymore. It would be degrading to have a braid."
"I still miss it," Padmé mused. "I always used to twirl it around my fingers."
"I'm sure we can find something else for you to occupy your hands with," I murmered as I lowered my head to hers. Our lips met, and it was like an electrical shock. How had I gone so long without her lips? And this was just closed mouth . . . she let the tip of her tongue run seductively over my lips, and I groaned. I brought my hand up to bury in her hair and pressed her lips further into mine. My other hand clutched at her body, trying to get as close as possible. Her hands were teasing my hair . . .
"Hey, lovebirds!"
I broke away quickly from Padmé, and turned to see Obi-Wan waving cheerfully at us. I sent him a look of loathing that he outright ignored. I turned to Padmé to see that her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she was breathing shallowly. "We should probably get going," I said.
"Yeah," Padmé agreed. She started to walk, then turned her head to the side to look at me. Her lips twisted in a coy smile. "We can discuss an occupation for my hands later."
"I'll be looking forward to it," I promised, raising my eyebrows suggestively. She grinned and turned back around. I followed her to the speeder where Obi-Wan was packing a few suitcases of Luke's onto the back.
"Where is Luke?" Padmé asked worriedly, looking around. "I don't want him to be scared."
"He's . . . well . . ." Obi-Wan looked nervously at Padmé. "Owen is tending to him."
"I'll go help," Padmé decided. She ran up the steps and into the house before I could stop her.
I sent Obi-Wan a look. "Where's Luke?"
"Holding onto this bedpost while Owen is trying to drag him out of the house," Obi-Wan admitted. "How is Padmé?"
"Terrible."
"She seemed to be doing all right a second ago," Obi-Wan said with a sly smile.
"I wish . . . I wish we'd never met," I finally decided.
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows, surprised. "I thought you loved her."
"I do. I do so much," I said quietly. "But she wouldn't have to suffer this pain if it weren't for me. She wouldn't have this to worry about. Her one child almost hates her."
"He doesn't hate her."
"I know that, and you know that, but Padmé sees it that way," I said.
Padmé came out a few minutes later, her eyes were spilling over. I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her. "I don't want to take Luke away from his home," she said. "I want to leave him here, I want him to be happy."
I nodded and pulled her tighter. I began to cry as well, feeling her pain overwhelm me. "Padmé, he's *your* son."
"He's your son too!" Padmé said, pulling away. "You're treating him like any other kid. You won't even let me tell him you're his father."
"Look, Padmé," Obi-Wan interrupted. We both turned to him, fuming. "I have a suggestion. You stay here and get to know Luke better. Tell him you're his mother, let him know how much you love him. Anakin and I have to go to the town to attend to some . . . business."
Padmé looked between Obi-Wan and me, then finally nodded reluctantly. "Okay. That sounds all right." She stepped closed to me and put a hand on the back of my head. She pulled me down to kiss me with so much passion my knees went weak. "Don't let anything happen to you this time, you know how I worry," Padmé whispered. I nodded and kissed her again.
* * * * * * * * * *
AN: You can't even comprehend how ecstatic I was for all the good reviews! Please keep them coming, I couldn't believe you guys would respond so well.
~Hales