I awoke slowly. A laziness had taken over my body, and I wanted the moment
to last. I could sense Padmé all around me, but not just with the Force.
Her sweet, innocent scent was teasing my nose, and her soft hair was
tickling my chin. Her body was pressed up against mine, warm and
comforting. She even let out a few soft snores every once in awhile. I
tightened my arms around her waist. My neck was aching, and my legs longed
to be stretched, but it had been so long since a moment like this existed.
I held onto it with all my might, yet it inevitably slipped out of my
grasp.
"You're sure I can't wake Mommy up?"
I grinned at these words, spoken so clearly from a child who was trying his best to whisper. He had been referring to Padmé as mother, and it sped up my own heartbeat to have him fondly dub her 'mommy'. Luke had been tentative with us at first, but I think our talk the night before made him more comfortable in his surroundings. He had only just met Padmé and I, but his love was severely evident.
"Yes, Luke, I'm sure. You said you wanted to see us return to normal speed, right?" Obi-Wan whispered back. Even he was having trouble keeping quiet. The excitement was obvious in his voice. He wanted to share with Luke everything that he loved, hyperspace and flying; it wouldn't be long before Luke was being trained with a lightsabre by my old master. Of course, the little boy was already pretty handy with the tool. He killed the stormtrooper with one blow. Those things were usually too powerful and heavy for a small child to use.
"I want Mommy to see it too," Luke protested, his voice turning into a whimper. It was amazing the feelings that this child could change to. He could be so happy one minute, bursting with song, but his lower lip could tremble and tears could spill before you could say 'sith'. I wondered if all children were like this, or the poor boy had gotten my side of the gene pool.
"She's seen this before," Obi-Wan assured the child. I noted a slight panic in Obi-Wan's words. He didn't want Luke to start crying on him. I couldn't help it and began to chuckle.
"He's awake!" Luke cried out, pointing accusingly at me.
I sat up, still keeping my arms around Padmé's sleeping form. "Yes, but your mommy isn't," I whispered. I congratulated myself on being the first on the ship able to keep my voice at such a low level. "She needs to get her rest."
Luke stuck his lower lip out and whirled around to face the window, revealing the swirling colors of hyperspace. It struck me then just how beautiful the galaxy could be. Padmé let out a little sigh in my arms, and I looked down at her. Her eyelashes were fluttering against her perfect skin. Her pale lips were curved in a small smile. The galaxy may be beautiful, but Padmé outshone everything.
"How long before we get to the Aldaraan system?" I asked Obi-Wan, trying to push aside my thoughts of Padmé and become all business-like. There was plenty of time to study Padmé's beauty now that we had the rest of our lives together.
"We're there, actually," Obi-Wan said. He stood up for a second to mess with the controls that he couldn't reach from his seat. The ship sped up suddenly, then jerked forward with a force powerful enough to knock Luke to the floor. He was too distracted to cry as his eyes stayed focused on the window to the universe. The ghostly, mystical hyperspace was replaced by a star-spangled blackness. The darkness rippled, an illusion, an echo of hyperspace. My heart began to beat faster as I was mesmerized. Even as Vader I had always been captivated by space. It was a feeling hard to describe.
Every time this moment comes, I feel the same thrill. It's . . . electrifying, knowing that you're suspended in air, defying gravity. Looking at the stars makes you realize just how many different planets there are, speckled across the black nothingness. The thrill comes when you feel the ship's controls at your fingertips, and it hits you that you can go to each and every one of these planets with the flick of your wrist, with the pad of your thumb.
I looked down at Luke and saw an awe that I recognized. This child was fascinated by everything that fascinated me, and I felt a kindred spirit in him. I wanted to take Luke under my arm and show him the galaxy. He was the one person who could ever understand everything that I felt, everything that was too strong and too complicated to put into words for others to understand. I could see it in Luke's eyes. He would understand.
I was torn from my thoughts when I heard Padmé make a muffled noise. She opened her eyes and rolled to the side in my arms. I teased her quickly by brushing my fingers against a sensitive spot on her stomach. She laughed, unable to control it. She glared at me, and I gave her an innocent smirk. I loved little moments like this with Padmé.
Suddenly Padmé sat forward, and she studied the stars in front of us. "How far until we reach Aldaraan?" she demanded of Obi-Wan.
"Another five minutes maybe," Obi-Wan answered. His brows were furrowed together as he studied a map on the computer screen in front of him. "We'll get there in no time, rest assured."
"You can't just land on Aldaraan," Padmé pointed out to Obi-Wan. "Get the king on screen, and I'll inform him that we're landing. If we're not expected, we can be shot down without a chance to explain."
Obi-Wan nodded, agreeing with her. He began to search along the keypad, looking for the right things to press to get the king on the computer screen.
Padmé stood up and began to run her fingers over her hair, making sure it was still in place. She turned to look at me and a guilty half smile was on her face. "Ani, don't let yourself get into the shot all right? I want to talk to him alone."
"You ready?" Obi-Wan asked, looking up at Padmé. She nodded and sighed nervously. I watched her moves closely. Why was she ordering me to stay off screen?
The computer screen went fuzzy for a few seconds while Obi-Wan continued to work frantically on the controls. Whatever he was doing it must have worked, because the screen flickered and a room came into view. There stood a guard, standing straight with a suspicious expression. "Report your request," he said in a gruff voice.
"We wish to be connected with the King of Aldaraan," Obi-Wan said, standing strong.
"Permission denied," the guard said. It looked like he took pleasure in this.
Obi-Wan looked surprised. He held up a hand and waved it slightly. "You will let us speak to the king."
"No, I won't," came the annoyed reply.
"Try it again, Obi-Wan," I said quietly. Obi-Wan caught my eye, and saw what I was doing.
"You will let us speak to the king," Obi-Wan repeated, this time more forcefully. I waved my hand along with him, closing my eyes and focusing on the guard.
"I will let you speak to the king," the guard repeated, sounding a bit dazed.
Padmé and Obi-Wan both turned to look at me, giving me grateful looks. Padmé kissed my cheek quickly, then returned to watch the screen.
It flickered once more, and a foreign-looking man dressed in royal robes was sitting in a fashionably cusioned chair, looking surprised and intrigued that he was being called to talk with the pilot of an oncoming ship.
Obi-Wan sat up stiffly in shot. "I introduce to you the former senator for and queen of Naboo, Padmé Naberrié Amidala Skywalker," Obi-Wan said, his voice more formal than usual. Obi-Wan moved away from the screen, and Padmé stepped forward. She was wearing simple clothes that Beru had selflessly let her have, but her whole stature radiated elegance. She had done her hair up in a very elaborate way, and she stood straight and proud. I smiled at the beauty standing before me. It was always a shock to remember that she was mine and I was hers.
"Padmé!" the man cried out in obvious joy. He frowned. "But you were captured. How did you escape? Are you okay? Are you safe?"
"Yes, Bail, don't worry," Padmé assured him calmly. Oh, Bail Organa, one of Naboo's alliances. "I'm going to land this ship. It's from the Death Star, but I assure you that everyone onboard is safe and will do no harm."
Padmé shot me a quick, worried glance that I pointedly ignored. I hated that she looked at me like that, like she was checking that I would keep true to her words and not cause Aldaraan any harm. Her doubt was well earned, but it still ripped at my heart whenever it surfaced.
"We'll be waiting for you, Padmé," Bail said with a warm smile. "You don't know how happy I am that you're safe and well."
I felt jealousy flare up angrily inside of me as Padmé returned the smile in that special way of hers. It was hard resisting the urge to step in view and put my arm possessively around my wife, to show Bail that she was mine and only mine. I knew, despite my jealousy, that nothing was going on between Padmé and King Organa, but a part of me wondered why Padmé had strictly ordered me to stay out of sight. Why didn't she mind of Obi-Wan was seen? I felt the Dark force creep up my spine; my anger had invited it in. I closed my eyes and began to meditate right then and there, forcing the feeling away.
"Land the ship," Padmé ordered Obi-Wan, interrupting my meditation as she pressed a button to clear away Bail's face and bring up a map of Aldaraan's surface. She was once again acting like the queen I'd met fifteen years before, using what I fondly called her "business bitch" side. I had to admit, for someone as short and petite as Padmé, she had a sense of power that no one could deny; a forcefulness that radiated off of her, making it loud and clear that despite her innocent looks, she was a force to be reckoned with.
Obi-Wan sat in the pilot's seat once more and began to lead our vehicle onto the planet of Aldaraan, paying close attention to the map on the computer, trying to find the palace.
Padmé stepped up to me and took my upper arm. She shooed away Luke and pulled me out of the piloting room and back to our bedroom. Once inside, she shut the door firmly and wrapped her arms around herself. I recognized this motion immediately and took a slight step forward.
"What's wrong?" I asked, putting a hand out as if to touch her.
She let me stroke her arm. "Ani, you have to be prepared to deal with things when we get on this planet."
"Uh-huh," I murmured, trying to get her to move along. "What kinds of things?"
Padmé stepped away from me. "Bail . . . he's . . ."
My jaw clenched, and I turned my back to her. I used the Force to play with a little toy of Luke's in the air, trying to find distraction. "Your lover?" I asked quietly, my voice laced with hatred and jealousy.
Padmé made a noise from behind me. "Why do you always assume the worst, Anakin?" She stepped up from behind and took my arm again. I let myself be turned around to face her. "Bail is like my brother."
"How does this concern me?" I asked haughtily. She had to be lying. Something deep inside of me told me that she wasn't telling the truth, that Bail was her lover and I *should* be jealous. I had every right to be. I tore away from her grasp and kept my eyes level with her own.
"This concerns you because Bail worries about me," Padmé explained.
"As every good brother should," I spat sarcastically.
"You're such a . . ." Padmé trailed off, unable to come up with a name that described me. "What I'm trying to say is that Bail isn't exactly very happy with the way you treated me four years ago. As an older brother type figure, he won't exactly be thrilled to see you. Even if I assure him that you're safe, he's going to act cold towards you. Can you deal with this?"
"I can deal with anything," I muttered.
"You're so childish," Padmé said.
I brought a hand up to her waist. "What are you doing?" she demanded, looking down at my hand, just barely touching her hips.
"Letting you know I have no problem with being childish," I said blankly. I began to tickle her, as I always felt the need to do. Hearing her laugh was like . . . it just let me know that everything was okay, and everything that wasn't okay would eventually be okay. It was so musical, a tinkling of notes dancing lightly in the air.
I let go of her just as quickly as I had started, and she was giving me a sly smile. "I'll have to pay you back for that one, Jedi," she said, her voice slightly breathless.
"I'm looking forward to it," I answered. I took a step closer to her, and she brought her hands up to my neck. But before we could do anything, the door to our bedroom opened.
"Obi-Wan says that we'll be landing in a minute or two and that you two should stop acting like children and come get ready to evacuate," Luke said, quoting Obi-Wan accent almost perfectly.
I laughed at his words and ruffled my little boy's hair. He pretended to be deeply affronted, but I could tell the action made him feel special. I picked him up and slung him around my waist. "Are you ready to go meet the nice Aldaraan people?"
"No!" Luke squealed, squirming in my arms. "Let me go, Dad!"
I dropped him almost immediately. "What did you call me?"
Luke looked scared for a moment. "Dad?" he offered meekly.
I felt my eyes begin to water. "Excuse me," I whispered to him. I pushed past the small boy and went straight to Obi-Wan. I hid my face from him, tears were gathering in my eyes. I never realized that one word could affect me so much. He knew I was his father, I had explained it to him, but he hadn't once called me 'dad'. A little thrill began to play with my heart, and a huge, unbreakable smile came to my face. Luke had called me 'dad'. Not father, not Anakin, but *dad*.
"What are you so happy about?" Obi-Wan asked. He winked at me. "What were you and Padmé up to in there?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "Nothing," I answered honestly, but I don't think Obi-Wan exactly believed me. I retreated into my mind for a moment, going over Padmé's words. Well, had I honestly thought that everyone would be as forgiving as Padmé herself and Obi-Wan? I didn't deserve them, but I had them. Everything had been so easy so far, but it was going to take a turn for the worse. Not everyone would trust me, and I never gave them any reason to do so. I just had to prove that they could trust me now. I couldn't have fits of anger anymore. They scared even Padmé, what would Bail Organa think if I began throwing things in his office?
I chuckled slightly at the image that came to mind. Obi-Wan gave me a look, and I decided that I should close my eyes and meditate, try and calm my mind for our landing. I could sense the ship lowering, and my muscles tensed up. I couldn't stay in Padmé's and Obi-Wan's shadow forever. I vowed right then and there to let go of my anger, my guilt.
"We're here," Obi-Wan said quietly, nudging me. He sensed that I was deep in meditation. I opened my eyes and looked at him with all of the emotion I could muster. I wanted to show him exactly what I was feeling, my fears and doubts. I wanted him to know that I was trying. But how did you say these things with words? Obi-Wan's eyes looked slightly damper than before, and he nodded at me. More emotion was in that nod than any words he could say. I silently thanked the Force for our deep connection.
Padmé stood at the doorway eagerly, waiting for us to follow her out of the belly of the ship. Luke looked so small walking behind her, and I picked him up, swinging him on my hip again. This time he cuddled his face in the space between my chest and chin. I kissed the top of his head, a smile coming over my features again.
When we walked out of the ship, we were greeted by the royal party themselves, surrounding themselves with two guards. I recognized Bail, and a woman stood beside him, looking just as official and dressed up in her extravagant robes. She must've been his wife. This brought relief to me, but I didn't have time to feel it. Standing between them was a little girl wearing a gown that looked like it weighed more than her and a headpiece that looked extremely painful.
The little girl leaped forward. "Aunt Padmé! Aunt Padmé!" she cried, throwing her hands around Padmé's middle. Padmé caught her around the waist and held her, cradling the little girl in her arms. I took one look at them and figured out that this must be Leia, the child Padmé had mentioned briefly.
Bail was staring at me in shock and disbelief. "Anakin Skywalker?" he asked evenly when it seemed that his voice was working again.
I set Luke down and bowed. "The one and only."
Bail made a motion, and the two guards had their blasters pointed at me; one at my chest, one at my head. My gaze didn't waver from Bail's.
Padmé must have set Leia down, sensing the dispute. She leaped in front of me. "Bail, no! Look, we have a lot to tell you. So much has happened."
"She said that no one would harm Aldaraan, and she was speaking the truth," Obi-Wan said, stepping forward.
Bail still looked at me suspiciously. "I want a guard on him at all times."
The woman beside Bail was staring incredulously at Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan?" she finally managed to say in greeting, her voice weak and wavering.
Obi-Wan took a look closer, and shock came over him. "Sabé?"
My eyebrows shot up at this. I turned to the woman, and sure enough it was Padmé's friend and former handmaiden. I couldn't help feeling joy that she wasn't looking at me in suspicion or disgust. It was, however, intriguing that her gaze was trained on Obi-Wan's.
"Let's go inside," Bail ordered, not noticing the moment that was passing between his wife and the Jedi Knight. "I want a full explanation. Then I will decide whether to execute Skywalker or not."
"Bail!" Padmé shrieked, her voice high. She held onto my hand. "You won't lay a finger on Anakin, understand?"
"Padmé, do you understand who that is?" Bail said coldly, turning his eyes to hers. "That's Darth Vader. I don't care if he somehow got rid of the mask, it's still him."
"It's not!" Padmé defended. "Darth Vader wasn't human, he was a machine. He was manipulated and brainwashed by powerful Dark forces. This is Anakin, the little boy I met on Tatooine."
"The little boy who destroyed the Republic and murdered thousands without a thought!"
Padmé stood strong. I was extremely glad for this. His words were cutting deep through me. Every one of them was true, and that made it all the more painful. I couldn't stand to stay here, but I knew I had to wait this out. I had to prove Bail wrong, even though he was right. I had to show that I'd changed.
"The little boy who destroyed the Death Star and murdered the Emperor without a thought," Padmé said quietly, her voice slightly hoarse but still strong.
Bail seemed to be at a loss of words. He stared at me, disbelieving. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Let's go inside and talk. I want to hear the tale of this defeat."
A blaster probed at my back. I turned around to shoot a dark gaze at the guard, but I didn't say anything. It was procedure, I knew. Padmé kept her fingers laced through mine as we followed Bail, Sabé, and their guards inside. Luke and Leia were standing on either side of us, and Obi-Wan was walking ahead, his shoulders slumped. I got a sense of pain from him, but I was in no position to talk to him about it. Whatever was happening with him was deep, I could tell, but it would have to wait.
The blaster proded me again, and I had to work to restrain myself. I was tense, I was edgy. I wanted to turn around and rip the man's head off. This thought made my own shoulders slump. I was on the good side again, I was working for redemption, I was where I was supposed to be. But why were these dark thoughts making their way into my mind? Shouldn't it be easy to rid myself of them?
* * * * *
AN: Thank you to Jetso, my wonderful beta who points out the faults in my writing. And thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I'm still astounded by the amounts I'm receiving. Which does remind me, I wanted to add that this is actually a sequel series to another short fic I wrote called Defiance. A few people had questions such as was Vader wearing the black suit. These questions can all be answered by reading that fic.
Thank you,
Haley
"You're sure I can't wake Mommy up?"
I grinned at these words, spoken so clearly from a child who was trying his best to whisper. He had been referring to Padmé as mother, and it sped up my own heartbeat to have him fondly dub her 'mommy'. Luke had been tentative with us at first, but I think our talk the night before made him more comfortable in his surroundings. He had only just met Padmé and I, but his love was severely evident.
"Yes, Luke, I'm sure. You said you wanted to see us return to normal speed, right?" Obi-Wan whispered back. Even he was having trouble keeping quiet. The excitement was obvious in his voice. He wanted to share with Luke everything that he loved, hyperspace and flying; it wouldn't be long before Luke was being trained with a lightsabre by my old master. Of course, the little boy was already pretty handy with the tool. He killed the stormtrooper with one blow. Those things were usually too powerful and heavy for a small child to use.
"I want Mommy to see it too," Luke protested, his voice turning into a whimper. It was amazing the feelings that this child could change to. He could be so happy one minute, bursting with song, but his lower lip could tremble and tears could spill before you could say 'sith'. I wondered if all children were like this, or the poor boy had gotten my side of the gene pool.
"She's seen this before," Obi-Wan assured the child. I noted a slight panic in Obi-Wan's words. He didn't want Luke to start crying on him. I couldn't help it and began to chuckle.
"He's awake!" Luke cried out, pointing accusingly at me.
I sat up, still keeping my arms around Padmé's sleeping form. "Yes, but your mommy isn't," I whispered. I congratulated myself on being the first on the ship able to keep my voice at such a low level. "She needs to get her rest."
Luke stuck his lower lip out and whirled around to face the window, revealing the swirling colors of hyperspace. It struck me then just how beautiful the galaxy could be. Padmé let out a little sigh in my arms, and I looked down at her. Her eyelashes were fluttering against her perfect skin. Her pale lips were curved in a small smile. The galaxy may be beautiful, but Padmé outshone everything.
"How long before we get to the Aldaraan system?" I asked Obi-Wan, trying to push aside my thoughts of Padmé and become all business-like. There was plenty of time to study Padmé's beauty now that we had the rest of our lives together.
"We're there, actually," Obi-Wan said. He stood up for a second to mess with the controls that he couldn't reach from his seat. The ship sped up suddenly, then jerked forward with a force powerful enough to knock Luke to the floor. He was too distracted to cry as his eyes stayed focused on the window to the universe. The ghostly, mystical hyperspace was replaced by a star-spangled blackness. The darkness rippled, an illusion, an echo of hyperspace. My heart began to beat faster as I was mesmerized. Even as Vader I had always been captivated by space. It was a feeling hard to describe.
Every time this moment comes, I feel the same thrill. It's . . . electrifying, knowing that you're suspended in air, defying gravity. Looking at the stars makes you realize just how many different planets there are, speckled across the black nothingness. The thrill comes when you feel the ship's controls at your fingertips, and it hits you that you can go to each and every one of these planets with the flick of your wrist, with the pad of your thumb.
I looked down at Luke and saw an awe that I recognized. This child was fascinated by everything that fascinated me, and I felt a kindred spirit in him. I wanted to take Luke under my arm and show him the galaxy. He was the one person who could ever understand everything that I felt, everything that was too strong and too complicated to put into words for others to understand. I could see it in Luke's eyes. He would understand.
I was torn from my thoughts when I heard Padmé make a muffled noise. She opened her eyes and rolled to the side in my arms. I teased her quickly by brushing my fingers against a sensitive spot on her stomach. She laughed, unable to control it. She glared at me, and I gave her an innocent smirk. I loved little moments like this with Padmé.
Suddenly Padmé sat forward, and she studied the stars in front of us. "How far until we reach Aldaraan?" she demanded of Obi-Wan.
"Another five minutes maybe," Obi-Wan answered. His brows were furrowed together as he studied a map on the computer screen in front of him. "We'll get there in no time, rest assured."
"You can't just land on Aldaraan," Padmé pointed out to Obi-Wan. "Get the king on screen, and I'll inform him that we're landing. If we're not expected, we can be shot down without a chance to explain."
Obi-Wan nodded, agreeing with her. He began to search along the keypad, looking for the right things to press to get the king on the computer screen.
Padmé stood up and began to run her fingers over her hair, making sure it was still in place. She turned to look at me and a guilty half smile was on her face. "Ani, don't let yourself get into the shot all right? I want to talk to him alone."
"You ready?" Obi-Wan asked, looking up at Padmé. She nodded and sighed nervously. I watched her moves closely. Why was she ordering me to stay off screen?
The computer screen went fuzzy for a few seconds while Obi-Wan continued to work frantically on the controls. Whatever he was doing it must have worked, because the screen flickered and a room came into view. There stood a guard, standing straight with a suspicious expression. "Report your request," he said in a gruff voice.
"We wish to be connected with the King of Aldaraan," Obi-Wan said, standing strong.
"Permission denied," the guard said. It looked like he took pleasure in this.
Obi-Wan looked surprised. He held up a hand and waved it slightly. "You will let us speak to the king."
"No, I won't," came the annoyed reply.
"Try it again, Obi-Wan," I said quietly. Obi-Wan caught my eye, and saw what I was doing.
"You will let us speak to the king," Obi-Wan repeated, this time more forcefully. I waved my hand along with him, closing my eyes and focusing on the guard.
"I will let you speak to the king," the guard repeated, sounding a bit dazed.
Padmé and Obi-Wan both turned to look at me, giving me grateful looks. Padmé kissed my cheek quickly, then returned to watch the screen.
It flickered once more, and a foreign-looking man dressed in royal robes was sitting in a fashionably cusioned chair, looking surprised and intrigued that he was being called to talk with the pilot of an oncoming ship.
Obi-Wan sat up stiffly in shot. "I introduce to you the former senator for and queen of Naboo, Padmé Naberrié Amidala Skywalker," Obi-Wan said, his voice more formal than usual. Obi-Wan moved away from the screen, and Padmé stepped forward. She was wearing simple clothes that Beru had selflessly let her have, but her whole stature radiated elegance. She had done her hair up in a very elaborate way, and she stood straight and proud. I smiled at the beauty standing before me. It was always a shock to remember that she was mine and I was hers.
"Padmé!" the man cried out in obvious joy. He frowned. "But you were captured. How did you escape? Are you okay? Are you safe?"
"Yes, Bail, don't worry," Padmé assured him calmly. Oh, Bail Organa, one of Naboo's alliances. "I'm going to land this ship. It's from the Death Star, but I assure you that everyone onboard is safe and will do no harm."
Padmé shot me a quick, worried glance that I pointedly ignored. I hated that she looked at me like that, like she was checking that I would keep true to her words and not cause Aldaraan any harm. Her doubt was well earned, but it still ripped at my heart whenever it surfaced.
"We'll be waiting for you, Padmé," Bail said with a warm smile. "You don't know how happy I am that you're safe and well."
I felt jealousy flare up angrily inside of me as Padmé returned the smile in that special way of hers. It was hard resisting the urge to step in view and put my arm possessively around my wife, to show Bail that she was mine and only mine. I knew, despite my jealousy, that nothing was going on between Padmé and King Organa, but a part of me wondered why Padmé had strictly ordered me to stay out of sight. Why didn't she mind of Obi-Wan was seen? I felt the Dark force creep up my spine; my anger had invited it in. I closed my eyes and began to meditate right then and there, forcing the feeling away.
"Land the ship," Padmé ordered Obi-Wan, interrupting my meditation as she pressed a button to clear away Bail's face and bring up a map of Aldaraan's surface. She was once again acting like the queen I'd met fifteen years before, using what I fondly called her "business bitch" side. I had to admit, for someone as short and petite as Padmé, she had a sense of power that no one could deny; a forcefulness that radiated off of her, making it loud and clear that despite her innocent looks, she was a force to be reckoned with.
Obi-Wan sat in the pilot's seat once more and began to lead our vehicle onto the planet of Aldaraan, paying close attention to the map on the computer, trying to find the palace.
Padmé stepped up to me and took my upper arm. She shooed away Luke and pulled me out of the piloting room and back to our bedroom. Once inside, she shut the door firmly and wrapped her arms around herself. I recognized this motion immediately and took a slight step forward.
"What's wrong?" I asked, putting a hand out as if to touch her.
She let me stroke her arm. "Ani, you have to be prepared to deal with things when we get on this planet."
"Uh-huh," I murmured, trying to get her to move along. "What kinds of things?"
Padmé stepped away from me. "Bail . . . he's . . ."
My jaw clenched, and I turned my back to her. I used the Force to play with a little toy of Luke's in the air, trying to find distraction. "Your lover?" I asked quietly, my voice laced with hatred and jealousy.
Padmé made a noise from behind me. "Why do you always assume the worst, Anakin?" She stepped up from behind and took my arm again. I let myself be turned around to face her. "Bail is like my brother."
"How does this concern me?" I asked haughtily. She had to be lying. Something deep inside of me told me that she wasn't telling the truth, that Bail was her lover and I *should* be jealous. I had every right to be. I tore away from her grasp and kept my eyes level with her own.
"This concerns you because Bail worries about me," Padmé explained.
"As every good brother should," I spat sarcastically.
"You're such a . . ." Padmé trailed off, unable to come up with a name that described me. "What I'm trying to say is that Bail isn't exactly very happy with the way you treated me four years ago. As an older brother type figure, he won't exactly be thrilled to see you. Even if I assure him that you're safe, he's going to act cold towards you. Can you deal with this?"
"I can deal with anything," I muttered.
"You're so childish," Padmé said.
I brought a hand up to her waist. "What are you doing?" she demanded, looking down at my hand, just barely touching her hips.
"Letting you know I have no problem with being childish," I said blankly. I began to tickle her, as I always felt the need to do. Hearing her laugh was like . . . it just let me know that everything was okay, and everything that wasn't okay would eventually be okay. It was so musical, a tinkling of notes dancing lightly in the air.
I let go of her just as quickly as I had started, and she was giving me a sly smile. "I'll have to pay you back for that one, Jedi," she said, her voice slightly breathless.
"I'm looking forward to it," I answered. I took a step closer to her, and she brought her hands up to my neck. But before we could do anything, the door to our bedroom opened.
"Obi-Wan says that we'll be landing in a minute or two and that you two should stop acting like children and come get ready to evacuate," Luke said, quoting Obi-Wan accent almost perfectly.
I laughed at his words and ruffled my little boy's hair. He pretended to be deeply affronted, but I could tell the action made him feel special. I picked him up and slung him around my waist. "Are you ready to go meet the nice Aldaraan people?"
"No!" Luke squealed, squirming in my arms. "Let me go, Dad!"
I dropped him almost immediately. "What did you call me?"
Luke looked scared for a moment. "Dad?" he offered meekly.
I felt my eyes begin to water. "Excuse me," I whispered to him. I pushed past the small boy and went straight to Obi-Wan. I hid my face from him, tears were gathering in my eyes. I never realized that one word could affect me so much. He knew I was his father, I had explained it to him, but he hadn't once called me 'dad'. A little thrill began to play with my heart, and a huge, unbreakable smile came to my face. Luke had called me 'dad'. Not father, not Anakin, but *dad*.
"What are you so happy about?" Obi-Wan asked. He winked at me. "What were you and Padmé up to in there?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "Nothing," I answered honestly, but I don't think Obi-Wan exactly believed me. I retreated into my mind for a moment, going over Padmé's words. Well, had I honestly thought that everyone would be as forgiving as Padmé herself and Obi-Wan? I didn't deserve them, but I had them. Everything had been so easy so far, but it was going to take a turn for the worse. Not everyone would trust me, and I never gave them any reason to do so. I just had to prove that they could trust me now. I couldn't have fits of anger anymore. They scared even Padmé, what would Bail Organa think if I began throwing things in his office?
I chuckled slightly at the image that came to mind. Obi-Wan gave me a look, and I decided that I should close my eyes and meditate, try and calm my mind for our landing. I could sense the ship lowering, and my muscles tensed up. I couldn't stay in Padmé's and Obi-Wan's shadow forever. I vowed right then and there to let go of my anger, my guilt.
"We're here," Obi-Wan said quietly, nudging me. He sensed that I was deep in meditation. I opened my eyes and looked at him with all of the emotion I could muster. I wanted to show him exactly what I was feeling, my fears and doubts. I wanted him to know that I was trying. But how did you say these things with words? Obi-Wan's eyes looked slightly damper than before, and he nodded at me. More emotion was in that nod than any words he could say. I silently thanked the Force for our deep connection.
Padmé stood at the doorway eagerly, waiting for us to follow her out of the belly of the ship. Luke looked so small walking behind her, and I picked him up, swinging him on my hip again. This time he cuddled his face in the space between my chest and chin. I kissed the top of his head, a smile coming over my features again.
When we walked out of the ship, we were greeted by the royal party themselves, surrounding themselves with two guards. I recognized Bail, and a woman stood beside him, looking just as official and dressed up in her extravagant robes. She must've been his wife. This brought relief to me, but I didn't have time to feel it. Standing between them was a little girl wearing a gown that looked like it weighed more than her and a headpiece that looked extremely painful.
The little girl leaped forward. "Aunt Padmé! Aunt Padmé!" she cried, throwing her hands around Padmé's middle. Padmé caught her around the waist and held her, cradling the little girl in her arms. I took one look at them and figured out that this must be Leia, the child Padmé had mentioned briefly.
Bail was staring at me in shock and disbelief. "Anakin Skywalker?" he asked evenly when it seemed that his voice was working again.
I set Luke down and bowed. "The one and only."
Bail made a motion, and the two guards had their blasters pointed at me; one at my chest, one at my head. My gaze didn't waver from Bail's.
Padmé must have set Leia down, sensing the dispute. She leaped in front of me. "Bail, no! Look, we have a lot to tell you. So much has happened."
"She said that no one would harm Aldaraan, and she was speaking the truth," Obi-Wan said, stepping forward.
Bail still looked at me suspiciously. "I want a guard on him at all times."
The woman beside Bail was staring incredulously at Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan?" she finally managed to say in greeting, her voice weak and wavering.
Obi-Wan took a look closer, and shock came over him. "Sabé?"
My eyebrows shot up at this. I turned to the woman, and sure enough it was Padmé's friend and former handmaiden. I couldn't help feeling joy that she wasn't looking at me in suspicion or disgust. It was, however, intriguing that her gaze was trained on Obi-Wan's.
"Let's go inside," Bail ordered, not noticing the moment that was passing between his wife and the Jedi Knight. "I want a full explanation. Then I will decide whether to execute Skywalker or not."
"Bail!" Padmé shrieked, her voice high. She held onto my hand. "You won't lay a finger on Anakin, understand?"
"Padmé, do you understand who that is?" Bail said coldly, turning his eyes to hers. "That's Darth Vader. I don't care if he somehow got rid of the mask, it's still him."
"It's not!" Padmé defended. "Darth Vader wasn't human, he was a machine. He was manipulated and brainwashed by powerful Dark forces. This is Anakin, the little boy I met on Tatooine."
"The little boy who destroyed the Republic and murdered thousands without a thought!"
Padmé stood strong. I was extremely glad for this. His words were cutting deep through me. Every one of them was true, and that made it all the more painful. I couldn't stand to stay here, but I knew I had to wait this out. I had to prove Bail wrong, even though he was right. I had to show that I'd changed.
"The little boy who destroyed the Death Star and murdered the Emperor without a thought," Padmé said quietly, her voice slightly hoarse but still strong.
Bail seemed to be at a loss of words. He stared at me, disbelieving. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Let's go inside and talk. I want to hear the tale of this defeat."
A blaster probed at my back. I turned around to shoot a dark gaze at the guard, but I didn't say anything. It was procedure, I knew. Padmé kept her fingers laced through mine as we followed Bail, Sabé, and their guards inside. Luke and Leia were standing on either side of us, and Obi-Wan was walking ahead, his shoulders slumped. I got a sense of pain from him, but I was in no position to talk to him about it. Whatever was happening with him was deep, I could tell, but it would have to wait.
The blaster proded me again, and I had to work to restrain myself. I was tense, I was edgy. I wanted to turn around and rip the man's head off. This thought made my own shoulders slump. I was on the good side again, I was working for redemption, I was where I was supposed to be. But why were these dark thoughts making their way into my mind? Shouldn't it be easy to rid myself of them?
* * * * *
AN: Thank you to Jetso, my wonderful beta who points out the faults in my writing. And thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I'm still astounded by the amounts I'm receiving. Which does remind me, I wanted to add that this is actually a sequel series to another short fic I wrote called Defiance. A few people had questions such as was Vader wearing the black suit. These questions can all be answered by reading that fic.
Thank you,
Haley