We were led into a small room not too deep inside of the palace. The
appearance was even smaller though, as an oval table made of glass took up
half of the space. Bail Organa, his wife, and Leia all sat at one end. They
gestured for the rest of us to take seats starting at the other. Padmé sat
beside me, her fingers still laced in mine. I felt the cool end of a
blaster on my neck, and I stiffened in response.
Bail folded his hands neatly. "Did I hear you correctly in that the Death Star and the Emperor are both gone?" he asked, leaning forward slightly as though the closer he got the better he could hear our answer.
"You heard correctly," I said, nodding. "Padmé, a droid, and I were the only survivors of the explosion."
"And how am I to believe that this Death Star exploded?" Bail pointed out gently.
"We put it on self destruction from the inside," I explained blandly. "Listen, the droid is still in the ship -- he has everything in his memory recorder."
"I'd rather hear it from your own lips, Vader," Bail spat.
I sat up suddenly, anger radiating from my body. "You--" The trigger from the blaster was pulled, but Padmé had knocked it out of the way so that I was safe. I'm sorry to say one of the walls in the room was not so lucky.
She put a hand on my upper arm, leading my down to sit again. I understood her, and the touch had a calming effect on me. I had let my anger get the best of me even after I had vowed to prove to Organa that I was worthy of his trust. I wanted to hit myself for being so stupid.
"Please do not call me that," I said simply, my voice low and threatening. The name had brought a sick sense of pleasure from somewhere deep inside my mind, where Vader was lurking. I knew that my anger fed him strength, and I thanked Padmé silently for calming me down.
Bail's eyebrows rose, and he turned his cool gaze to Padmé. "You tell me that this man is safe? Did you not see the episode he just had?"
"Nobody is perfect, Bail," Padmé said evenly. "I know that Anakin still has the Dark side inside of him, but I also know that he is strong enough to overcome it."
'If you weren't strong enough to overcome it before, what makes you think you're strong enough now?' In response to the nagging voice, I tightened my fists on the table, hoping nobody could see my conflicting thoughts.
"Really?" Bail asked dryly. "Was that anger a way to show me of his strength? If so, I'm impressed."
"If I can forgive Anakin, why can't you?" Padmé demanded, her eyes steely. "Out of everyone in this room, save Obi-Wan and the children, I have the right to hate Anakin for everything he's done for me. But I choose to forgive, I recognize that he is not perfect, that he never will be, but I forgive him in the knowledge that he truly is good and innocent inside. Why can't you see this?"
"Perhaps it is not I who is blind, Padmé," Bail said, "but it is you who is blinded by love. I feel nothing for this man, who he was and who he is. This enables me to see right through the lies, right through the innocent exterior. You and Obi-Wan are blinded."
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "If I may speak, Your Highness?"
"Permission granted."
"There is no doubt Anakin is the strongest Jedi, even stronger than Master Yoda himself. Along with this, Anakin has . . . emotions. They are strong, stronger than any I've seen in human being or Jedi. He is so sensitive in the Force that he is also sensitive to everything around him. I believe that this 'gift', shall we say, was used against him.
"Palpatine knew him from a young age, and I have no doubt that he studied every move, learning everything he could about Anakin so that he would be able to easier manipulate him to the Dark side. Anakin sees his faults, Your Highness, I have no doubt about that. He regrets and weeps for the lives he has taken and those he has ruined. Anakin may have been vulnerable before, but he has grown into a man who learns from his mistakes. Anakin will not give into the Dark side again, I will swear my life upon it."
"A few tears does not bring back what we have lost," Bail said. It was clear he would not be moved from his set opinion of Anakin Skywalker. "The Republic was--"
"Dying," Padmé interrupted. "The Republic would have been destroyed anyway, Bail, whether Anakin lifted a helping hand or not."
"But Anakin *did* lift a helping hand, which makes the difference," Bail said. His tone was cut and final, and no one spoke for a long time afterwards.
Finally, it was Leia who broke the silence. "I like him," she said quietly. Her eyes were wide with fear at what her parents may say, but her voice was steady. "He is all right. I feel confusion around him, but he will overcome it."
I looked up at her, surprised at the clarity in her voice. She gave me a small smile, and I was overhwelmed by the comfort it held. I smiled back in return.
"Wise words for such a small child," Obi-Wan said. "You are strong in the Force, little one. Perhaps if your father was, he could be more perceptive and understanding of Anakin."
"Her father is strong in the Force," Padmé said. She met Bail's eyes with her own determined ones.
"I will not allow you to corrupt this child," Bail said protectively. "I don't care what your opinions are of Anakin, I will not let you take Leia and put her in danger."
"Put her in danger of what?" Padmé demanded, standing up angrily. "Of a father who will love her deeper than you ever could? I've seen Anakin with Luke, Bail. You're not protecting Leia, you are stifling her, depriving her of a love she does not know. Yes, you and Sabé love her as if she were your own, but you aren't what she needs!"
"I am what she needs!" Bail roared, letting his anger out as he stood up as well. Though he was much taller than Padmé, his height did not intimidate her in the least. She didn't bat an eye at his outbreak. "I am comforting and strong. I would never give myself over to anything to do with the Dark side because I have more humanity, more compassion inside of me than that monster who you choose to defend!"
I bit my jaw, and tried to block out the voices. They talked so freely about me, and it was only a matter of time before I broke in and gave them my own opinion of myself. I caught Leia's eyes again. She had been looking up at Bail, a scared expression on her face, but she was strong and did not cry. I gave her a small smile, and she returned it full force. Her lips blazed at me, and I was astounded at the feeling I felt inside. This child took after her mother, there was no doubt. Her beauty was beyond imagining, and her stature was calm and collected despite the fact that her supposed father was terrifying her.
"He is no monster," Padmé said. I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was close to tears and her voice was wavering. She seemed to be affected more by Bail's words than I, and this gave me a strange feeling in my heart. "He is as much of a man as you. More so even, because he can accept change. You are so set in your mind that you can't even comprehend what we're offering you. Anakin is the best Jedi to ever exist in this galaxy. He is the Chosen One, he has beaten the Emperor for Force's sake! He has come to help with the Rebellion, to help build a new Republic, one that will work this time. You are sitting here with a mind set that you know will never be broken. You brought him inside knowing that you would execute him in the end."
Padmé's eyes were full of emotion and a single tear fell down her cheek. "Please, Bail, listen to what Obi-Wan and I are saying. We know Anakin better than anyone, we know that he is good. Did you hear what Leia said? The young are pure in the Force and see more clearly. There is a chance for my love, and I believe that he will take it. For me, Bail, do not kill my last chance at happiness."
Bail's mouth opened and closed several times in the echoing silence after Padmé's speech. I was shocked at the feeling behind her words, I had never thought anyone could feel so strongly for me after everything I'd done. I reached a hand up and held her fingers. I squeezed lightly, and she looked down at me with her eyes shining with tears. I sent her comfort and reassurance through the Force, and was relieved to feel her relax slightly, the air around her lessening in tension.
"He will not be executed," Bail finally said. His voice was so quiet I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. He was looking down at the table, a defeated look to him as his head fell against the cool glass. "I will listen to your pleas, Amidala, but I want you to know that if he turns against us, if he betrays us all and kills again, each life he takes will lie heavily on your shoulders for it will be because of you he is let loose on the galaxy."
"Bail--"
"I will retire now," Bail said firmly, standing up. A guard was immediately by his side. "You can stop guarding that one," he said, nodding to me. "These people think he is safe."
The blaster left my neck again, and I immediately rubbed furiously at the skin there. The room went silent after Bail's departure, and everyone was left to their own respected thoughts. I began to wonder . . . if Bail was so determined not to forgive me or even accept my help, how would everyone else act?
Sabé stood up suddenly, bringing all eyes to her form. "I want you to know, Anakin, that I can accept all of this, but I will not forgive you, and I don't think I ever can."
I nodded at her. It surprisingly cut deeper than any of the nasty things Bail had been spitting in my face. Sabé and I had been friends. "Thank you. It is more than I deserve."
Sabé looked surprised at my answer, but she didn't say anything more on that subject. She held out a hand for Leia. "Come, Leia, we will retire as well now."
Leia stood up beside her mother. She took one last look around the table, then followed Sabé out of the room.
Padmé let out an angry snort. "Can you believe him?" she demanded. "He thinks he is so superior. We are offering him help that he can't refuse!"
"Padmé," I said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't rant, okay? It's understandable, and I don't hold anything against him."
"Leia is my child," Padmé said, her voice wavering slightly. "I will not listen to Bail. He doesn't care about her! He ignores her half the time! Why should it matter now . . .?"
"Padmé, why don't we go to bed now too," Obi-Wan suggested. "I'm leaving in the morning, and I require a full night's sleep."
"Where are you going?" I asked, snapping my head to look at him. If Obi-Wan was leaving, how was I going to survive? I needed his support. "You didn't mention anything about this."
"I did," Obi-Wan countered. "I need to go to Dagobah. Maybe when we get Yoda onto the planet Bail will be more accepting of your presence."
"Unless Yoda himself is not accepting," I reminded him. "You can't assume that everyone is going to welcome me with open arms just because you two did. Sabé, with whom I was relatively close to . . . well, you heard what she said."
Obi-Wan sighed and began to rub at his temples. "Anakin, Yoda will accept your presence. He is a Jedi, he can't deny the power radiating off of you, the pureness. As I said, I would bet my life that you'd never return to the Dark side."
I looked away from Obi-Wan's gaze, filled with friendship and love. I wish I could say he was right, but whatever feeling he got off of me was entirely wrong. I was split in half. It was harder and harder to block out Vader, to shut him off as he had done to me so many times. His voice became louder, more insistant. I could resist him now, but would I be able to if he got any stronger?
* * * * *
I laid in bed for a long time alone. Padmé had assumed I'd gone to sleep, and she left in the middle of the night. I didn't ask her where she was going, and I pretended not to care. I spent an hour or two alone in the dark, left to brood by myself.
I had gotten a sense from Obi-Wan that I didn't like. Pain was surfacing on his mind, and even a little joy, but he had barriers up, keeping me from probing too deep inside. Obi-Wan had never been like this before. He was acting so . . . secretive. Obi-Wan never had secrets before. I analized my memories from arriving on Aldaraan carefully, but I still couldn't quite place what it was that was upsetting my old master.
Once I decided that it was hopeless to try and figure out what Obi-Wan was distressed about until he chose to told me, I let my mind drift on to a new topic. I respected Bail for speaking the truth that everyone else was too afraid to say, but I didn't like his character. He should have given me a fair trial, and not just listened to a girl's plea. Granted, I wasn't complaining, but I still thought he was a . . . pansy -- all talk. He had strong words, but I could sense he wasn't as strong on the inside.
I once again changed topics and began to remember Leia. She would grow up to be as beautiful as Padmé. I found it strange that Luke was so much like myself, and Leia so much like Padmé. Speaking of Padmé . . .
I sat up slightly in bed and looked at the clock. She had been gone for an hour and a half. Suspicions began to rise inside of me. Who could she be meeting so late? I angrily tore through the minds in the palace, searching for my wife through the Force. Her light came to me at once, and I let out a relieved sigh. She was in Sabé's bedroom. It struck me odd that Sabé and Bail did not share the same living quarters, but I could see from the way they acted around each other that not everything was right. If he didn't see that something was happening with Sabé and Obi-Wan then he was clueless.
Sabé and Obi-Wan! I thanked the Force that I had figured it out on my own. Of course it had something to do with the former handmaiden. I didn't know quite what just yet -- but whatever it was it affected Sabé as well.
". . . to get to me? He really did that . . .?"
I narrowed my eyes at the words that I had caught from whatever it was that Sabé and Padmé were discussing. Padmé's voice was hurt and breaking, I wanted to know what had caused it.
". . . why did you not tell me before? I would have . . ."
Padmé must have sensed I was prying into her conversation because suddenly I was blocked out of their voices. I groaned. I should never have taught Padmé Jedi mind tricks. True, she wasn't very strong in the Force, but over the years she had begun to sense my intrusions in her mind and was finally able to block me out.
I plopped backwards on the bed. It wouldn't be long before Padmé entered the bedroom, furious. I could already feel the anger growing closer. She hated it when I listened to her thoughts and feelings. I couldn't really blame her, but it had happened on accident.
Sure enough, the door flew open and Padmé stood there, breathing hard. "You were in my mind again," she said, shutting the door as she stepped into the room.
"I didn't mean to," I said quickly. "I was worried and sought out your presence. A few words entered my mind."
"What all did you hear?" Padmé demanded, an underlying sense of fear beneath her words.
This struck me as odd. I clenched my jaw and glared at her. "I heard enough," I said, turning my head away from her. If it worked right, somehow I could get her to tell me what she'd been discussing.
"Anakin, you're so funny," Padmé said. Her voice was amused as she sat down on the bed beside me, and I turned my face back to hers. "I know you didn't hear anything. This would not be your reaction if it were so."
"What were you discussing?" I asked pleadingly. It really irked me that she didn't tell me. We were supposed to share everything.
Padmé looked guiltily down at her hands as she played with the fabric of the blanket. "I'm sorry, Ani, I wish I could, but it is not my business to tell. Sabé must first come to terms with it herself before she lets anyone else know. As a matter of fact, I was having quite a nice chat with her before you interrupted. Sabé is confused, and she needs me right now."
"What happened between her and Obi-Wan?"
Padmé gasped. "How do you know . . .?"
"I'm not blind. Something is happening between them, Padmé."
Padmé sighed defeatedly and laid down fully on the mattress beside me. She turned on her side so that we were facing each other. "I'm so tired, Anakin. I want this day to be over with. So much has happened."
"I know," I murmered comfortingly as I brought a hand up to stroke her soft cheek. "Did you and Sabé discuss what would happen with Leia?"
Padmé nodded. "Leia is too smart for her own good. Sabé has been teaching her a few things about the Force. She will sense soon enough that something is wrong if we don't tell her."
"When are you going to tell her?"
"That all depends on Bail," Padmé admitted. She sighed again and put a hand on my waist to draw me closer against her. "I thought he was a good man, Ani, but he is a fool."
"He just holds a grudge. He's protecting his family."
"They are not his family. They feel no more for him than he feels for them."
"But Sabé--"
"Is in love with another man," Padmé interrupted gently. She began to stroke the skin on my side. "That would be what you sensed between her and Obi-Wan."
My eyebrows shot up, and I couldn't help grinning. "You don't say. Obi-Wan never struck me as the type to have an affair with a married woman."
"She wasn't married when they fell in love," Padmé said. "That's their problem. Sabé didn't think she'd ever see Obi-Wan again, and she could not refuse a proposal of a king. Now that Obi-Wan is back, she is reminded of how horrible her marriage has been with a man she does not love. She can't break out of it though. She longs for Obi-Wan though, I know. Even when he was gone, sometimes I'd go into her bedroom at night to find her weeping. I always knew she was weeping for him."
I thought about my master, and I couldn't help a seed of doubt. It seemed impossible that a man like Obi-Wan could ever fall in love. Much less with one of Padmé's handmaidens. I shook my head and burried a hand in Padmé's hair, wanting to distract myself. I could examine my master later. Right now, I had other intentions.
Padmé let herself be drawn into a kiss, and we both lost ourselves. After a while, our kisses became more heated, more passionate. Her hand tugged slightly at the waistband of my pants. I pulled away from her suddenly, overwhelmed. I was trembling. It had been so long since I'd made love to Padmé, and I wanted this to be special, to be perfect.
Padmé sensed my dismay, and she rested her head on my chest. "I love you, Anakin."
"I know. I love you too," I whispered back, huskily. "I'm just not sure . . . Does this feel right for you?"
Padmé put a hand on either side of my chest and propped herself up, letting her hair fall in a frame around our faces. She kissed the corner of my mouth, then began to nuzzle my neck, her hair tickling my skin. As she buried her face against my skin, I heard her mumbled words. "It feels right. It always feels right."
I closed my eyes and soon found myself kissing her again. She was right. Anything in her arms was right. I let myself be swallowed up in the passion, wanting to let myself go inside of Padmé, to let loose. Our souls joined as one again, and I felt the connection that had lessened over the years. Now it was back in full force, and I basked in the joy it brought. I was never anything unless Padmé was beside me, inside of my very heart.
After our lovemaking, she nestled into my side underneath the covers, and I lay awake, thinking. Being with Padmé again only furthered my earlier resolve to be what she wanted, to block out the anger. The power that surged from our connection was more than enough to help block out Vader. I felt stronger when my love was beside me, and it struck me then as clear as crystal that I could accomplish anything. I could be a man again. I could build the new Republic. I could rid the galaxy of any remnants of the Empire. While without Padmé I was nothing, with her I was everything.
* * * * * * * * * * *
AN: I hope nobody is offended by the last few paragraphs in this story. I also hope you all react to the same way with the entire fic. I know that the first half was mostly dialogue between Padmé and Bail, and I'm not sure how everyone is going to react to that.
Also, if you want more detail on the Sabé/Obi affair, I've started a new fic, Impossible, that goes from the beginning and will eventually catch up in time frame with The Right Path Again.
Sorry it took so long to update this. I just had temporary writer's block. Hopefully over the summer I'll have more time so I can update as often as I have been.
Thank you once again for the reviews, and let's thank Jetso for beta-ing.
~Haley
Bail folded his hands neatly. "Did I hear you correctly in that the Death Star and the Emperor are both gone?" he asked, leaning forward slightly as though the closer he got the better he could hear our answer.
"You heard correctly," I said, nodding. "Padmé, a droid, and I were the only survivors of the explosion."
"And how am I to believe that this Death Star exploded?" Bail pointed out gently.
"We put it on self destruction from the inside," I explained blandly. "Listen, the droid is still in the ship -- he has everything in his memory recorder."
"I'd rather hear it from your own lips, Vader," Bail spat.
I sat up suddenly, anger radiating from my body. "You--" The trigger from the blaster was pulled, but Padmé had knocked it out of the way so that I was safe. I'm sorry to say one of the walls in the room was not so lucky.
She put a hand on my upper arm, leading my down to sit again. I understood her, and the touch had a calming effect on me. I had let my anger get the best of me even after I had vowed to prove to Organa that I was worthy of his trust. I wanted to hit myself for being so stupid.
"Please do not call me that," I said simply, my voice low and threatening. The name had brought a sick sense of pleasure from somewhere deep inside my mind, where Vader was lurking. I knew that my anger fed him strength, and I thanked Padmé silently for calming me down.
Bail's eyebrows rose, and he turned his cool gaze to Padmé. "You tell me that this man is safe? Did you not see the episode he just had?"
"Nobody is perfect, Bail," Padmé said evenly. "I know that Anakin still has the Dark side inside of him, but I also know that he is strong enough to overcome it."
'If you weren't strong enough to overcome it before, what makes you think you're strong enough now?' In response to the nagging voice, I tightened my fists on the table, hoping nobody could see my conflicting thoughts.
"Really?" Bail asked dryly. "Was that anger a way to show me of his strength? If so, I'm impressed."
"If I can forgive Anakin, why can't you?" Padmé demanded, her eyes steely. "Out of everyone in this room, save Obi-Wan and the children, I have the right to hate Anakin for everything he's done for me. But I choose to forgive, I recognize that he is not perfect, that he never will be, but I forgive him in the knowledge that he truly is good and innocent inside. Why can't you see this?"
"Perhaps it is not I who is blind, Padmé," Bail said, "but it is you who is blinded by love. I feel nothing for this man, who he was and who he is. This enables me to see right through the lies, right through the innocent exterior. You and Obi-Wan are blinded."
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "If I may speak, Your Highness?"
"Permission granted."
"There is no doubt Anakin is the strongest Jedi, even stronger than Master Yoda himself. Along with this, Anakin has . . . emotions. They are strong, stronger than any I've seen in human being or Jedi. He is so sensitive in the Force that he is also sensitive to everything around him. I believe that this 'gift', shall we say, was used against him.
"Palpatine knew him from a young age, and I have no doubt that he studied every move, learning everything he could about Anakin so that he would be able to easier manipulate him to the Dark side. Anakin sees his faults, Your Highness, I have no doubt about that. He regrets and weeps for the lives he has taken and those he has ruined. Anakin may have been vulnerable before, but he has grown into a man who learns from his mistakes. Anakin will not give into the Dark side again, I will swear my life upon it."
"A few tears does not bring back what we have lost," Bail said. It was clear he would not be moved from his set opinion of Anakin Skywalker. "The Republic was--"
"Dying," Padmé interrupted. "The Republic would have been destroyed anyway, Bail, whether Anakin lifted a helping hand or not."
"But Anakin *did* lift a helping hand, which makes the difference," Bail said. His tone was cut and final, and no one spoke for a long time afterwards.
Finally, it was Leia who broke the silence. "I like him," she said quietly. Her eyes were wide with fear at what her parents may say, but her voice was steady. "He is all right. I feel confusion around him, but he will overcome it."
I looked up at her, surprised at the clarity in her voice. She gave me a small smile, and I was overhwelmed by the comfort it held. I smiled back in return.
"Wise words for such a small child," Obi-Wan said. "You are strong in the Force, little one. Perhaps if your father was, he could be more perceptive and understanding of Anakin."
"Her father is strong in the Force," Padmé said. She met Bail's eyes with her own determined ones.
"I will not allow you to corrupt this child," Bail said protectively. "I don't care what your opinions are of Anakin, I will not let you take Leia and put her in danger."
"Put her in danger of what?" Padmé demanded, standing up angrily. "Of a father who will love her deeper than you ever could? I've seen Anakin with Luke, Bail. You're not protecting Leia, you are stifling her, depriving her of a love she does not know. Yes, you and Sabé love her as if she were your own, but you aren't what she needs!"
"I am what she needs!" Bail roared, letting his anger out as he stood up as well. Though he was much taller than Padmé, his height did not intimidate her in the least. She didn't bat an eye at his outbreak. "I am comforting and strong. I would never give myself over to anything to do with the Dark side because I have more humanity, more compassion inside of me than that monster who you choose to defend!"
I bit my jaw, and tried to block out the voices. They talked so freely about me, and it was only a matter of time before I broke in and gave them my own opinion of myself. I caught Leia's eyes again. She had been looking up at Bail, a scared expression on her face, but she was strong and did not cry. I gave her a small smile, and she returned it full force. Her lips blazed at me, and I was astounded at the feeling I felt inside. This child took after her mother, there was no doubt. Her beauty was beyond imagining, and her stature was calm and collected despite the fact that her supposed father was terrifying her.
"He is no monster," Padmé said. I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was close to tears and her voice was wavering. She seemed to be affected more by Bail's words than I, and this gave me a strange feeling in my heart. "He is as much of a man as you. More so even, because he can accept change. You are so set in your mind that you can't even comprehend what we're offering you. Anakin is the best Jedi to ever exist in this galaxy. He is the Chosen One, he has beaten the Emperor for Force's sake! He has come to help with the Rebellion, to help build a new Republic, one that will work this time. You are sitting here with a mind set that you know will never be broken. You brought him inside knowing that you would execute him in the end."
Padmé's eyes were full of emotion and a single tear fell down her cheek. "Please, Bail, listen to what Obi-Wan and I are saying. We know Anakin better than anyone, we know that he is good. Did you hear what Leia said? The young are pure in the Force and see more clearly. There is a chance for my love, and I believe that he will take it. For me, Bail, do not kill my last chance at happiness."
Bail's mouth opened and closed several times in the echoing silence after Padmé's speech. I was shocked at the feeling behind her words, I had never thought anyone could feel so strongly for me after everything I'd done. I reached a hand up and held her fingers. I squeezed lightly, and she looked down at me with her eyes shining with tears. I sent her comfort and reassurance through the Force, and was relieved to feel her relax slightly, the air around her lessening in tension.
"He will not be executed," Bail finally said. His voice was so quiet I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. He was looking down at the table, a defeated look to him as his head fell against the cool glass. "I will listen to your pleas, Amidala, but I want you to know that if he turns against us, if he betrays us all and kills again, each life he takes will lie heavily on your shoulders for it will be because of you he is let loose on the galaxy."
"Bail--"
"I will retire now," Bail said firmly, standing up. A guard was immediately by his side. "You can stop guarding that one," he said, nodding to me. "These people think he is safe."
The blaster left my neck again, and I immediately rubbed furiously at the skin there. The room went silent after Bail's departure, and everyone was left to their own respected thoughts. I began to wonder . . . if Bail was so determined not to forgive me or even accept my help, how would everyone else act?
Sabé stood up suddenly, bringing all eyes to her form. "I want you to know, Anakin, that I can accept all of this, but I will not forgive you, and I don't think I ever can."
I nodded at her. It surprisingly cut deeper than any of the nasty things Bail had been spitting in my face. Sabé and I had been friends. "Thank you. It is more than I deserve."
Sabé looked surprised at my answer, but she didn't say anything more on that subject. She held out a hand for Leia. "Come, Leia, we will retire as well now."
Leia stood up beside her mother. She took one last look around the table, then followed Sabé out of the room.
Padmé let out an angry snort. "Can you believe him?" she demanded. "He thinks he is so superior. We are offering him help that he can't refuse!"
"Padmé," I said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't rant, okay? It's understandable, and I don't hold anything against him."
"Leia is my child," Padmé said, her voice wavering slightly. "I will not listen to Bail. He doesn't care about her! He ignores her half the time! Why should it matter now . . .?"
"Padmé, why don't we go to bed now too," Obi-Wan suggested. "I'm leaving in the morning, and I require a full night's sleep."
"Where are you going?" I asked, snapping my head to look at him. If Obi-Wan was leaving, how was I going to survive? I needed his support. "You didn't mention anything about this."
"I did," Obi-Wan countered. "I need to go to Dagobah. Maybe when we get Yoda onto the planet Bail will be more accepting of your presence."
"Unless Yoda himself is not accepting," I reminded him. "You can't assume that everyone is going to welcome me with open arms just because you two did. Sabé, with whom I was relatively close to . . . well, you heard what she said."
Obi-Wan sighed and began to rub at his temples. "Anakin, Yoda will accept your presence. He is a Jedi, he can't deny the power radiating off of you, the pureness. As I said, I would bet my life that you'd never return to the Dark side."
I looked away from Obi-Wan's gaze, filled with friendship and love. I wish I could say he was right, but whatever feeling he got off of me was entirely wrong. I was split in half. It was harder and harder to block out Vader, to shut him off as he had done to me so many times. His voice became louder, more insistant. I could resist him now, but would I be able to if he got any stronger?
* * * * *
I laid in bed for a long time alone. Padmé had assumed I'd gone to sleep, and she left in the middle of the night. I didn't ask her where she was going, and I pretended not to care. I spent an hour or two alone in the dark, left to brood by myself.
I had gotten a sense from Obi-Wan that I didn't like. Pain was surfacing on his mind, and even a little joy, but he had barriers up, keeping me from probing too deep inside. Obi-Wan had never been like this before. He was acting so . . . secretive. Obi-Wan never had secrets before. I analized my memories from arriving on Aldaraan carefully, but I still couldn't quite place what it was that was upsetting my old master.
Once I decided that it was hopeless to try and figure out what Obi-Wan was distressed about until he chose to told me, I let my mind drift on to a new topic. I respected Bail for speaking the truth that everyone else was too afraid to say, but I didn't like his character. He should have given me a fair trial, and not just listened to a girl's plea. Granted, I wasn't complaining, but I still thought he was a . . . pansy -- all talk. He had strong words, but I could sense he wasn't as strong on the inside.
I once again changed topics and began to remember Leia. She would grow up to be as beautiful as Padmé. I found it strange that Luke was so much like myself, and Leia so much like Padmé. Speaking of Padmé . . .
I sat up slightly in bed and looked at the clock. She had been gone for an hour and a half. Suspicions began to rise inside of me. Who could she be meeting so late? I angrily tore through the minds in the palace, searching for my wife through the Force. Her light came to me at once, and I let out a relieved sigh. She was in Sabé's bedroom. It struck me odd that Sabé and Bail did not share the same living quarters, but I could see from the way they acted around each other that not everything was right. If he didn't see that something was happening with Sabé and Obi-Wan then he was clueless.
Sabé and Obi-Wan! I thanked the Force that I had figured it out on my own. Of course it had something to do with the former handmaiden. I didn't know quite what just yet -- but whatever it was it affected Sabé as well.
". . . to get to me? He really did that . . .?"
I narrowed my eyes at the words that I had caught from whatever it was that Sabé and Padmé were discussing. Padmé's voice was hurt and breaking, I wanted to know what had caused it.
". . . why did you not tell me before? I would have . . ."
Padmé must have sensed I was prying into her conversation because suddenly I was blocked out of their voices. I groaned. I should never have taught Padmé Jedi mind tricks. True, she wasn't very strong in the Force, but over the years she had begun to sense my intrusions in her mind and was finally able to block me out.
I plopped backwards on the bed. It wouldn't be long before Padmé entered the bedroom, furious. I could already feel the anger growing closer. She hated it when I listened to her thoughts and feelings. I couldn't really blame her, but it had happened on accident.
Sure enough, the door flew open and Padmé stood there, breathing hard. "You were in my mind again," she said, shutting the door as she stepped into the room.
"I didn't mean to," I said quickly. "I was worried and sought out your presence. A few words entered my mind."
"What all did you hear?" Padmé demanded, an underlying sense of fear beneath her words.
This struck me as odd. I clenched my jaw and glared at her. "I heard enough," I said, turning my head away from her. If it worked right, somehow I could get her to tell me what she'd been discussing.
"Anakin, you're so funny," Padmé said. Her voice was amused as she sat down on the bed beside me, and I turned my face back to hers. "I know you didn't hear anything. This would not be your reaction if it were so."
"What were you discussing?" I asked pleadingly. It really irked me that she didn't tell me. We were supposed to share everything.
Padmé looked guiltily down at her hands as she played with the fabric of the blanket. "I'm sorry, Ani, I wish I could, but it is not my business to tell. Sabé must first come to terms with it herself before she lets anyone else know. As a matter of fact, I was having quite a nice chat with her before you interrupted. Sabé is confused, and she needs me right now."
"What happened between her and Obi-Wan?"
Padmé gasped. "How do you know . . .?"
"I'm not blind. Something is happening between them, Padmé."
Padmé sighed defeatedly and laid down fully on the mattress beside me. She turned on her side so that we were facing each other. "I'm so tired, Anakin. I want this day to be over with. So much has happened."
"I know," I murmered comfortingly as I brought a hand up to stroke her soft cheek. "Did you and Sabé discuss what would happen with Leia?"
Padmé nodded. "Leia is too smart for her own good. Sabé has been teaching her a few things about the Force. She will sense soon enough that something is wrong if we don't tell her."
"When are you going to tell her?"
"That all depends on Bail," Padmé admitted. She sighed again and put a hand on my waist to draw me closer against her. "I thought he was a good man, Ani, but he is a fool."
"He just holds a grudge. He's protecting his family."
"They are not his family. They feel no more for him than he feels for them."
"But Sabé--"
"Is in love with another man," Padmé interrupted gently. She began to stroke the skin on my side. "That would be what you sensed between her and Obi-Wan."
My eyebrows shot up, and I couldn't help grinning. "You don't say. Obi-Wan never struck me as the type to have an affair with a married woman."
"She wasn't married when they fell in love," Padmé said. "That's their problem. Sabé didn't think she'd ever see Obi-Wan again, and she could not refuse a proposal of a king. Now that Obi-Wan is back, she is reminded of how horrible her marriage has been with a man she does not love. She can't break out of it though. She longs for Obi-Wan though, I know. Even when he was gone, sometimes I'd go into her bedroom at night to find her weeping. I always knew she was weeping for him."
I thought about my master, and I couldn't help a seed of doubt. It seemed impossible that a man like Obi-Wan could ever fall in love. Much less with one of Padmé's handmaidens. I shook my head and burried a hand in Padmé's hair, wanting to distract myself. I could examine my master later. Right now, I had other intentions.
Padmé let herself be drawn into a kiss, and we both lost ourselves. After a while, our kisses became more heated, more passionate. Her hand tugged slightly at the waistband of my pants. I pulled away from her suddenly, overwhelmed. I was trembling. It had been so long since I'd made love to Padmé, and I wanted this to be special, to be perfect.
Padmé sensed my dismay, and she rested her head on my chest. "I love you, Anakin."
"I know. I love you too," I whispered back, huskily. "I'm just not sure . . . Does this feel right for you?"
Padmé put a hand on either side of my chest and propped herself up, letting her hair fall in a frame around our faces. She kissed the corner of my mouth, then began to nuzzle my neck, her hair tickling my skin. As she buried her face against my skin, I heard her mumbled words. "It feels right. It always feels right."
I closed my eyes and soon found myself kissing her again. She was right. Anything in her arms was right. I let myself be swallowed up in the passion, wanting to let myself go inside of Padmé, to let loose. Our souls joined as one again, and I felt the connection that had lessened over the years. Now it was back in full force, and I basked in the joy it brought. I was never anything unless Padmé was beside me, inside of my very heart.
After our lovemaking, she nestled into my side underneath the covers, and I lay awake, thinking. Being with Padmé again only furthered my earlier resolve to be what she wanted, to block out the anger. The power that surged from our connection was more than enough to help block out Vader. I felt stronger when my love was beside me, and it struck me then as clear as crystal that I could accomplish anything. I could be a man again. I could build the new Republic. I could rid the galaxy of any remnants of the Empire. While without Padmé I was nothing, with her I was everything.
* * * * * * * * * * *
AN: I hope nobody is offended by the last few paragraphs in this story. I also hope you all react to the same way with the entire fic. I know that the first half was mostly dialogue between Padmé and Bail, and I'm not sure how everyone is going to react to that.
Also, if you want more detail on the Sabé/Obi affair, I've started a new fic, Impossible, that goes from the beginning and will eventually catch up in time frame with The Right Path Again.
Sorry it took so long to update this. I just had temporary writer's block. Hopefully over the summer I'll have more time so I can update as often as I have been.
Thank you once again for the reviews, and let's thank Jetso for beta-ing.
~Haley